The Psychology Experiment
by TheCapitolRose
Summary: Avengers AU. As a baby, Loki is entered into a longitudinal, controversial, psychology experiment conducted by Howard Stark. After being isolated for eighteen years he's finally exposed to the real world. But does it live up to his expectations? After finding out about his father's work Tony's life isn't the same and he gains a new purpose. Eventual FrostIron.
1. Prologue

**A/N: **Welcome to my first fan fiction! I have been working on this for a month or so, I have eleven chapters (including this) already written and 24 chapters planned (and more to come). I try to write one to two a week so hopefully updates will be fairly regular. If you have any questions or anything feel free to PM me or find me on Tumblr (thefrostedrose). I hope you enjoy it!

**Prologue **

"Just take it! I can't bear to look at it!" Laufey growls; thrusting a small bundle into his business partner's hands, refusing to hold it. "Keep it, sell it, kill it! I don't care!"

"Calm down, tell me what's happened…" Odin asks, calmly; observing the taller man with his one, grey, good eye. In all the years that they have known each other he had never seen him like this, so angry and so crazed. Laufey usually had a calm demeanour about him; even in the most intense business deals he always kept his composure. Odin was always surprised about how collected he was, especially as he had seen how powerful his temper is.

"She's dead. She's dead because of _that._" He spits, glaring at the blankets.

"It's not unusual for women to die during childbirth… Laufey, you can't blame it on a child. _Your_ child; your only living memory of her." He tries to reason but he knows there's no point. To people that only see the business side to Laufey don't ever imagine that he should ever have a wife… Or even a girlfriend that he could love. His appearance is intimidating, he towers above everyone he's ever met; black hair slicked back, leaving his stern face exposed and every line and scar on show. His eyes, a strange shade of brown they're red in certain lights, that threaten to steal the soul of whoever looks into them.

"That child means nothing to me. It killed my wife. I'd rather it died than her. Just take it before I take its life like it did to her." He threatens, not breaking eye contact from Odin to show he means every word he says.

Odin nods and looks down at the baby in his arms, not sure what to do with it. He can't leave him with Laufey; the child wouldn't make it through the night.

"I'll take him… Go somewhere remote for a while… Think things over. I can handle the business without you for a little while." He reassures, he'd never admit that this side of Laufey scares him; he hates the feeling of control slipping through his fingers.

Laufey considers his words and walks out of the office, leaving the shorter man holding the child wrapped in a green and gold blanket. Odin studies the child, he can't be any more than a week old and within that week he lost both of his parents. Sighing, he takes the baby home to his loyal wife and explains the situation. She takes the child from her husband and cradles it in her arms. He notices a change in her, a look that she has never given their own son. Since his birth things had become difficult and were only starting to get better. Suddenly it seemed like a bad idea to take in this stray, especially if his firstborn was going to suffer because of it.

"Let's call him Loki…" Frigga says thoughtfully, smiling down at the little boy in her arms.

He forces a smile and tilts his head in acknowledgment. He knows he has to take that child away from her before she makes a firmer bond than the one between her and Thor. Odin couldn't have his firstborn come second to his own mother, regardless of how tough the birth was and the first year of his life. He'd do everything to make sure he comes first.

Howard Stark was always looking to push the limits in the world of psychology, to everyone else there was a line that they know to never cross but to him that line doesn't exist. He has always been the top of his field, not afraid of upsetting the organisation to get results. He is both renowned and hated for his extreme methods, but the results his work produces leaves him admired by others and allowed to continue his work. Even the people who despise his work can't deny how interested they are in his findings. Some use it to spark their own experiments and theories; whether it's to support or disprove what he's gone to such lengths to find out. However this time he's going too far and even he knows it; this is to be his last experiment and wants to go out with a bang. A risk that could define his whole career or completely wreck everything he has ever achieved.

Since his wife, Maria, gave birth to their son, Tony, he's found himself even more interested when it comes to child development. He notices how much his son is dependent on them and has often found himself wondering if he could survive and grow up without any of it. After watching his wife and son interact one day, he decided what he wanted to do. What the experiment would be to end his long and mixed career on.

_Maria was furious when he told her of his plan. He could tell before she even opened her mouth, her expressive deep brown eyes giving her away. _

"_Are you serious?! You want to take our son away from me and lock him in a room?!" She shouts at him, unable to process what he was suggesting. He would sacrifice his family for the sake of his career. She knew he was like this when she agreed to marry him but she couldn't fathom why he would want to go this far. _

"_Maria, think of what this would mean. This could lead to something great!" He cries, excited and angry that she would deny him this._

"_How could it be something great?! If you fail to prove that children can develop in isolation then you destroy a child's life and tell the world something they already knew; if you succeed then thousands of children will be left on their own because parents can't be bothered to look after them and believe they can do it on their own! Tell me, how is that great?" _

"_It could change child care. People may not need day care anymore and save themselves so much money! This could help the economy! Become something huge!" He grips her shoulders and brings her closer to him. "Don't stand in my way."_

"_I learned a long time ago that I could never stand between you and your experiments, so I won't. But if you think that I'm letting you subject our son to this, think again." She growls, pulling herself out of his grip and storming out the house, taking Tony with her._

It's been a few months since the car accident and he's still determined as ever to conduct this experiment. He took it hard when he lost Maria, she was his world aside from his work and now that's all he has. After she had died he thought about using Tony for his experiment, but he couldn't do it, not to her. His old friend a butler, Jarvis, stepped in to take care of Tony when he realised Howard was too distracted (or too drunk) to do it himself. Like everyone else in his life, Jarvis also fails to tear Howard away from his work to concentrate on his family. He thought it'd get better when Maria died, that he'd want to stay close to her. But he couldn't have been more wrong.

Howard had put an advert in the paper asking for a young baby to be involved in his latest study under a pseudonym to try and keep a low profile. After a couple of weeks of no good offers he decided to increase the price to a large sum – everyone had their limits and he was going to push to find them. A week later a man and his wife came to him, inquiring about what he was doing and what he would want from them.

Frigga's heart broke when Odin showed her the newspaper article, she knew of his intentions. It was obvious since he brought him home and he started to distance himself from them. Trying to get all her focus on Thor and just forget about Loki. She'd fought and fought to keep him, but she knew it was useless trying to fight against her husband when his mind had been made up.

They've gone to visit the mysterious psychologist who introduces himself as Howard Stark, not the name given in the article. Frigga starts to panic; she knows the name and knows her husband does too. She didn't want to just hand over her new son to a man who knows no boundaries when it comes to psychological studies. Odin seems unfazed; pleased he managed to get his wife to agree to this – even if he did have to drag her kicking and screaming. They shake his hands as he introduces himself and offers them a seat.

"Thank you for responding to my article, I understand how this may be hard so I'm willing to answer any questions that you may have. But as soon as the contract is signed, I'm afraid you can't be involved in the process any further…" Howard informs them, leaning forward on his desk, covered with scattered papers of plans and notes for what he wants to do.

"What do you want our child for…?" Frigga asked, scared of the answer. Not that it mattered, whatever it involved Odin would make sure he got his way.

"I'm conducting an experiment into child development and isolation. Contact with the child will be as rare as possible to encourage independence from the off. He'll be kept in a room with all the necessities he'll need and I'll intervene when I feel I need to. It'll be a longitudinal study and if all goes well I hope to be doing this for 16 years and then slowly introduce him to society for another two years." He explains, in the most simple and kind way he can. Howard can tell she'll need more convincing than her husband.

"But why? Isn't that just cruelty…?" No matter what he says, she'll still not be able to understand why anyone would want to do something like this.

"I feel it can change parenting for the better, I'm trying to do a good thing, Mrs Odinson." Howard reassures, trying to put her mind at ease.

"Frigga, he's not ours… Not really… If we do it now he won't remember… There won't be any harm in it. And Thor won't remember him either. We'll see him again one day and he'll understand." Odin tells her, as firm as he can be but still trying to appear understanding.

"But he needs us…" She whispers, tears pooling in her eyes. She doesn't want to let him go, not like this.

"And the country needs this experiment to take place… Think of all the other children that you'll be helping by doing this." He smiles, holding her hands to comfort her.

Tears fell and took any words she was going to form with them. She knew she had lost the battle and lost her one of her boys; but she'd lose one either way. If she could keep Loki she'd lose her husband but if she kept her husband she'd lose Loki.

"Are you sure you want to do this? It's not something to be entered lightly, you need to be committed and allow me to carry out my research in peace." The psychologist warned, this experiment was controversial and most likely not even legal but he needed to make sure they were sure.

"Yes we're sure." Odin nods, answering before Frigga could process the question that he asked. He pulls out his phone and sends a message to the driver who's sitting in the car with the children. Loki is brought into them and the driver returns to Thor, knowing this is a private matter.

Frigga clutches Loki to her chest, that's heaving softly as she tries to suppress her sobs. She strokes his short, raven hair and face lovingly, wishing she didn't have to be parted from him. In the back of her mind she knows she'll still have her son, her firstborn, but she couldn't live with herself abandoning a child that had already been rejected by the only family he had left. She kisses his smooth, pale forehead and sighs.

"I'll always love you, Loki. I hope you understand one day and come back to us… I'll always love you and welcome you back home. I'm so sorry…" She whispers into his delicate ear.

Seeing how upset his wife has become he gently takes Loki from her arms, barely looking at him as he hands him over to Howard. The psychologist eyes light up, realising he has finally got what he wanted and can now start the experiment he has longed to conduct. He hands them the contracts to sign, which Frigga does with shaking hands.

"Take care of him. Take care of my son." She tells him, firmly, doing all she can to keep her emotions from completely spilling out.

"I will." He promises, looking her directly in her tear filled eyes.

Taking one last look at Loki, Frigga is ushered out by Odin into the car that's waiting for them outside. As soon as the door shuts she lets it all out, completely losing control and not being ashamed of it. Pulling a sleeping Thor from his car seat for comfort, she stares out the window, scared of what the future holds for him.

Howard watches them leave from the window; when they're out of sight he peers down at Loki and smiles. It's time for the experiment to begin.


	2. Chapter One

**A/N:** Thank you so much for such a wonderful response! And for the people that mentioned about Genie and the Little Albert study, I'm really pleased you did as it was learning about those that first gave me the idea of dong a story like this – although this is very loosely based on those :) I recommend people to have a look at the stories of them if you've not heard about them as they're fascinating (well to me, anyway)!

**Chapter One**

Eight years have passed since the experiment began and Loki is slowly growing up, all alone with only the TV and his books to keep him company. The young, innocent, boy doesn't seem fazed or upset that he has been kept in the same room ever since he could remember; he doesn't know anything different.

The room he's kept in is a decent size with all the necessities a person would need (and age appropriate). It has a simple layout; a TV with a bed facing it, bedside tables with three drawers on each side, with screens around the walls acting as windows displaying a landscape that changes accordingly as the time and season changes. In one corner is a kitchen, which is stocked when it needs to be; in another a simple bathroom with a toilet, basin and shower and in another, two bookshelves fully loaded with all types of books and are replaced when he requests it. There is also a tablet with various apps to help aid his development further to try and get the best results possible.

He has the same routine which he follows every day without fail. There have been times that his patience was tested and he tried to rebel, but he was punished with the screens displaying a blackness and all his lights turned out. Despite being kept on his own in a room without any proper windows or doors, he's not used to the darkness, or the silence. The screens show him an outside world, even at night the soft light of the moon shines through and he can still hear the rustling of trees and murmurs from animals. As he learned that this would all be taken from him he remained compliant and followed his schedule accordingly; set by the voice with the invisible mouth.

The highlight for Loki, as it is every day, is to simply curl up on his bed and read whatever book he's picked off the book shelf next. Like every, average, child he enjoys watching TV – slowly moving away from the more simple cartoons to something slightly older to increase development – however he just uses it as an aid to help him imagine all these worlds that his books are taking him. His walls are slowly starting to become galleries; full of his drawings to try to visualise his books better and to remind himself that there is a world other than the one he's living in.

Books both confuse him and fascinate him. He has never come across a book where the protagonist is a young child locked alone in a room (the closest he's ever got is watching the first Harry Potter film and seeing him kept in a cupboard under the stairs; but that confused him even more because his room was too big to be a cupboard). Everyone he reads about is free and has a family (whether it is perfect or broken) and at least one friend. To Loki, he has no family at all and he doesn't know the voice well enough to say it's a friend. It's quite a heavy voice, coarse at times, Loki realises that it's not someone his age, which reinforces the idea he's not his friend. Real friends are your own age that you meet at school.

_School._ A very big room with a lot of children. Where you learn and make friends. There are a few times Loki finds himself wishing he could attend school and meet some kids his own age. They could have sleepovers in his room and he could introduce them to the voice that protects him. But then the moment passes, he turns the page of his book or a new TV programme comes on and he forgets. He forgets his longing for company and allows himself to be sucked into a whole new universe, where everything is fine and everyone is normal.

**x-x-x**

Howard is vigilant when it comes to monitoring Loki; he rarely leaves his office and takes his eyes off the screen. There are cameras in every angle of the room which he can control so he sees everything, every little detail that may be important or just interesting. In the past couple of years, he's started to see the child more than just a thing to play with but more of a person. The psychologist has watched this small child grow and create his own personality. He was so much easier to control and raise. Not like Tony. Tony, who makes it his mission to annoy his father as best he can to try and get any sort of reaction from him.

So buried in his work he doesn't notice the door open and Jarvis walk in. It isn't until the shadow of his oldest friend appears on his desk, covering the notes he's trying to make. He's never bothered to try and hide his work from Jarvis; there have even been times where he has been helpful but this is not one of them. Since he had Tony and started this experiment he's not wanted anything to do with his work; all he's done is focus on bringing up Tony (well, someone has to) and he's done everything he can to try and get Howard involved.

"He's just finished his robot and it works." Jarvis says, "he really wants you to come and see it."

"I'm busy." Howard mumbles, not looking up from the monitor.

"Come on, Stark, just go and have a look at it. He's trying to make you proud." He sighs, trying to get through to him.

"I said: I'm busy." He growls, still not looking at him.

"Haven't you gone far enough with this? The poor boy needs to be let out before you cause any real damage. You have you own child upstairs so why are you so wrapped up in the one you have locked up in the basement? Give it up, Howard, you've done enough." Jarvis tells him with a firm edge to his voice. He tries not to show it but it breaks his heart to see a little boy yearning for his dad's affections only for his dad to show another child more attention than he'd ever get.

"This child is more important than the one that's upstairs!" He shouts, head snapping up to glare at Jarvis. "This child needs me more than the one upstairs! Which you've just proven if you're telling me he's some engineering genius! Jarvis, you know as well as I do that I need to see this experiment through to the end. Now stop bothering me and let me get on with it."

Jarvis' eyes flicker over to the monitor to see what's so important about the child, that his friend and master would overlook his own little boy. He sees a young, skinny child; skin still pale from where the sun hasn't been able to reach him, and long raven hair that a pair of scissors has never been near. Despite not getting all the meals he most likely needed, he was still tall for his age. His innocence seemed to give him a more feminine look about him – especially in comparison to Tony. Looking at the screen he admits to himself that he can understand why Howard was so fascinated and interested in this child; but that still doesn't excuse him for neglecting the one he created. If he just took the time to get to know his own son, even eat dinner with them once a week he'd see that his boy is just as interesting as the one locked in the basement.

"Dinner will be on the table at 7. Try and join us, make your son's year." Jarvis sighs softly before leaving, knowing that it'll only be the two of them in the dining room again.

Howard just grunts and Jarvis knows that it's time to give up for the day and leave him to his work.

**x-x-x**

Howard is amazed he has been able to keep this experiment going for so long. After Jarvis' death he was certain that Tony would go poking his nose in where it didn't belong and stumble upon it; but he hardly leaves his room or his lab, which Howard is grateful for. Within the next month he had planned to introduce Loki to the real world, as there's only one year of the experiment left to go after that. He was going to start by interacting with him face-to-face rather than through the intercom system he had been using all this time. As the years went by the experiment was all he had, after losing Jarvis and Tony getting old enough to make his own decisions without needing his father's permission (not that he ever asked for it anyway).

Most days were quiet; he'd simply watch TV (with the subtitles to help him read and speak) or read a book or amused himself in some way on the tablet. As he got older, around 13, he had begun to want more than to have an occasional conversation with a faceless man. The days when this overwhelmed him he would break down and lash out; the room was trashed many times and he often hurt himself in the process although, it has never been bad enough for Howard to interfere. They had become less frequent again which calmed him as it broke his heart to see him so upset. There have been many times he wanted to end it early, but he quickly talked himself out of it, reassuring himself that he'd be fine when he introduces himself to him.

Then it happens, a maid appears at the door informing him there are some men that wish to see him. Before he can give her a response the men flood into the room. He knows who they are and what they're there for, he'd been expecting it since he first started the study. Without an explanation they force him back into his office and are relentless in going through his things; collecting every single document they could find. Staring at the boy on the screen he becomes scared and protective of him. They'll ruin everything and won't provide him with the help he can. They just _don't understand_.

"You can't do this." He chokes out, "he's dependent on me, fragile, and you don't know how to treat him!" The man in charge just smirked at his plea and clasped the handcuffs round his wrists. He was a tall and muscular man who could easily pin him to the floor and overpower him without any effort at all. Surprisingly he has a gentle face, with calm bright blue eyes and short blonde hair – a true American military poster boy.

"Dr Stark, you've had this kid locked up his whole life and you believe that it's us who won't care for him in the right way?" He chuckles darkly, shaking his head, "you're sick and we're going to be putting you away for a long time – see how you like it… Although, you're accommodation won't be quite as comfortable as this poor boy's."

"You don't understand how this could damage him! Please just give me some time with him!" Howard begged, a part of him knew that he would never have been able to finish the experiment but he never thought it would affect him like this. They may believe he's ruined his life but not exposing him to the unknown in the right way could damage him in far worse ways than his experiment ever could. To his colleagues, and soon the world, he would be seen as a monster… But would a monster try and protect an innocent child from the cruelness of the world? Had he not have been entered in this experiment who knows what kind of state he'd be in due to his family life, he could tell Odin didn't want anything to do with him and neither did his real family if they were telling the truth in the interview.

"No. You've warped him enough. We'll make sure you've not involved with him again and once your trial is over no one will ever hear from you again." The main man snarled as though he was an angry predator. Before Howard could utter one more sound of protest he was removed from the building and shoved into the back of a police car that the press swarmed around. Angry questions and vicious comments were shouted at him through the glass; it didn't stop as they tried to drive off, they still demanded answers from him they thought they deserved. As they sped off to the police station his thoughts were consumed by Loki, a tidal wave of nausea hits his stomach as he pictures him frightened face as unknown men storm into his room. It wasn't just them but the press as well, the vultures would circle him not caring about how it would make him feel but for the exclusive they'd expect to get.

Although, every cloud has a silver lining; at least Tony was out and didn't see his dad arrested in his own house. Then again, he'd probably see it on the news later… Well… After he comes home to find police scattered around the house and examining the basement.

**x-x-x**

Loki is eighteen now and nearly nothing has changed. To Loki today is a day like every other day; waking up to the image of a park, slowly being bathed in sunlight as it takes it spot high in the sky. He stares at it longing to feel the warmth from the light hug his skin and the gentle breeze to kiss his cheeks and run its fingers through his hair. In his mind he is convinced that he will feel it one day; no matter how unlikely it seemed he's just pleased to have something to live for. When he stopped believing that there was something more to life then that would be when he stopped living it. The thought had crossed Loki's mind, he can't pretend that it didn't, however the desire for knowledge and answers about his situation kept going – he wasn't going to leave the world ignorant and without an identity.

He got up and got dressed in his usual plain clothes before making himself breakfast. The TV plays in the background, sometimes the almost silent sounds of the screens becomes suffocating and he just needs a way out. For the past few days he has been building up the courage to ask his faceless jailer why he is kept locked up all on his own. Carefully Loki presses his ear against a wall; trying to discover if there is life or company that he craves on the other side. All that greets his ear is just an empty silence.

The day continued to pass slowly, not that the lonely boy noticed as he got sucked into his latest novel. He was yanked out of it as he heard unknown noises and commotion coming from outside his prison. Sitting patiently on the bed, he stares at the door, yearning for it to open. Desperately wishing his master would explain everything and just let him out. The noises grow louder, getting closer to his door and suddenly he's scared. Scared of what awaits on the other side. Shaking softly, Loki pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his long, lean, arms around them trying to steady himself. What if he's safe where he is and nothing but danger is coming for him? Freedom isn't as appealing anymore; he had nothing other than his anonymous guardian and everything inside his cosy room.

After what feels like a lifetime the door; for the first time he's witnessed, is opened. Men, all dressed in the same uniform, all file into the room. His eyes dart around the room, not knowing where to settle them in case he misses something important; something that could harm him or give him information about his circumstance. Observing the uniform he realises that these are police officers, the people who are sent to take the evil men away. _Is that why they're here? Am I a criminal? Have I done something wrong? _Are just the thousands of questions that are being packed into his head. There has never been a time when his mind has been so busy with so many different words and thoughts – with not all of them being coherent. His face is full of fear and anxiety which keeps the men's feet firmly rooted to the spot. After assessing the situation one man is in different clothes to the rest, steps forward.

"Hello, Loki… I'm Steve Rogers. Don't worry… We won't hurt you… We're here to help you." As the reassuring words left his lips, he cautiously moved closer to him to make sure not to scare him any more than he already was. "Can you talk to us…? Are you okay?" He asks, just wanting any kind of response.

His eyes refused to leave the broad blonde man as he came within touching distance, far closer than he was comfortable with; he shrank away from him into his pillows, trying to shield himself from him. Steve notices and pulls back, trying to keep him calm and prevent him from doing anything drastic. His body starts to shake again and his arms can't stop him from falling apart for much longer. All the men's eyes are fixed on the sight before them, never being in this situation before they don't know what to expect or how to react.

After what feels like an eternity a noise, barely audible, stuns everyone in the room: "hello…"

Steve smiles when the sound reaches his ears and holds out his hand for the young man to take. Loki stares at it for a while, battling with himself, unsure whether it'll do him any good to leave the room. After his internal argument he slowly takes Steve's hand and stands up. All the men in the room watch, some feeling quite emotional at the scene that's happening before their eyes. This is the first interaction this boy has ever had and today will be the first time he ever set foot outside the house. They all knew this meant the most to Steve, as soon as he was given the tip off about what the 'great' Howard Stark was doing he was furious, at him and at himself for letting it happen in the city he was supposed to be protecting.

It takes a while but eventually they manage to coax Loki out of the basement and out of the house. They help Steve keep the press away as he ushers Loki into the backseat of a car. It seems that Loki doesn't seem to notice the fight that was taking place against the press and the police; just taking everything in. He was finally going to be part of the world.


	3. Chapter Two

**A/N:** As I got Chapter Twelve finished sooner than I thought, here's Chapter Two! Chapters may start to come slower due to school work however I plan to try and update every weekend, or as soon as I can if it's a bit later than the weekend :)

**Chapter Two**

Even though his mum died around six years ago, a young Tony Stark has more memories of her than he does of his father who's still alive and with him. She was always there with him, playing with him, comforting him and generally loving him. What he remembers the most is her smile, her warm and beautiful smile. Whenever he does something he's somewhat proud of that smile flashes through his mind, he knows his mother would be proud too. At least one of his parents would be.

He sits in his lab, beaming at his latest creation that he's been working on for the past couple of months. A fully functioning robot he affectionately named 'Dummy', there's still some kinks he needs to work out but he's happy just seeing it move and work. His mum's smile is in his mind again and it comforts him. Even though it's not as perfect as he wanted it he knows she'd still appreciate it. He contemplates going to see his father, surely this would make him sit up and notice his son. Slowly, he makes his way out of his lab and up the stairs to find his elusive parent.

On his way to Howard's office he bumps into Jarvis. He stares up at the tall, rapidly aging, man who has cared for him ever since his mum died. To Tony, Jarvis was more of a dad than Howard could ever accomplish. Jarvis reaches down and tousle the young boys chocolate brown hair and he's rewarded with a smile that's reserved for Jarvis; he rarely sees Tony smile at anyone, unless he's trying to get his own way.

"What are you doing here Tony?" He asks; Tony knows to stay away from his father's office. Unfortunately he had to learn the hard way.

_Excited to tell him about his 100% on a science test he ran straight to his dad's office, wanting some kind of reward from the man he was desperate for approval. He storms into the forbidden room and was greeted by a stream of curses and suddenly his dad's hand was gripping his arm, causing him to whimper in pain and fear. Distracted by the pain he doesn't notice the threats and warning's his dad is screaming at him. He just nods and sobs apologies, begging to be let go and accepted by his father. Suddenly the hand on his arm violently pushes him away and he's hurled out the room, hitting his head on the wall opposite. The door is slammed shut and Tony just sits there, trying to contain his cries. He gradually starts to realise that the door won't open again and his dad won't come out to apologise so he picks himself up and locks himself in his room. He looks down at the crumpled test paper in his hands and his mother smile appears before him._

"I finished Dummy!" He announces, proudly. "I wanted to show father…"

"You know he can't be disturbed when he's working, he's a very busy man." Jarvis explains, trying to get Tony away from the door.

"But he's _always_ working and he's _always_ busy." He pouts and crosses his arms. "I just want to show him Dummy… It won't take long."

"I'll see what I can do." Jarvis sighs, unable to keep denying this child his father.

Tony watches and waits patiently as Jarvis disappears into the room. He's not gone long but to a child it feels like hours. Tony stops hoping they'd both come out the room when he hears the volume of muffled voices increase and his suspicions are confirmed when a firm faced Jarvis emerges alone. Seeing the look of disappointment on Tony's face he offers him a small apologetic smile and takes him away from the office.

"Can I see Dummy?" He asks, trying to make things okay again.

Tony smiles and nods, leading Jarvis down to the lab.

**x-x-x**

It hit Tony the hardest when Jarvis died; no one else seemed to bat an eyelid and Howard didn't even look up from his work. Now, at the age of fifteen, Tony was attending his second funeral after losing the only other person to ever care about him or love him (although, if he let them, his best friends Pepper and Rhodey would probably care about him and love him too). He stands in a smart black suit at the front of the church alongside his father.

He's surprised his father even bothered to turn up. They never had the best relationship but since Jarvis' death it had still managed to deteriorate. When Howard eventually left his office to ask Tony about the funeral, fifteen years of anger and neglect exploded from Tony.

_Tony was sitting in his lab, violently breaking things just to put them back together again just to keep his mind busy. So he had something else to focus on other than his emotions that he refused to show or even acknowledge. He's so wrapped up in putting the small items back together he doesn't even realise his father stepping into the room. Now, with Jarvis gone, he doesn't expect anyone to come and see him. _

_"When's the funeral?" Howard asks, with no concern expressed in his tone._

"_Why do you care? You'll just sit in your office and within a week you'll forget he ever existed." Tony snaps, not wanting to have to deal with his absent father, especially not now. _

"_Watch your tone and just answer my question." He growls, this is why he stays in his office. This is why he pays more attention to the silent child; it's much less hassle and much easier to control._

"_Why? You know it's the truth. Where were you when he was asking for you on his deathbed? He's been ill for months and not once did you bother to visit him! I'm surprised you even realised that he died!"_

"_How dare you speak to me like that?! I'm your fa-!"_

"_Don't you say it! Don't you DARE say it! You are NOT my father! My father died days ago. You don't deserve to have any family, in fact, you don't! I don't want anything to do with you! All you do is work! I bet you thought I'd died in the same car accident with mum, because you always seemed to forget me! Or was it more of a wish that I had died as well? Because I can't tell with you!" Tony growls, just wanting him out of his lab; out of his life. _

_Suddenly the same hand that gripped Tony's arm years ago, leaving a bruise imprinted for weeks, flies across his face making Tony drop what he was holding. Tony stares at him, fighting the urge to strike him back. He has had very limited interactions with his father over the years and most of them have ended up with him getting violent towards Tony. _

"_Friday at 11… The local church." Tony mumbles, knowing there's no point in arguing with him anymore._

_Howard just nods in response and leaves to go back to his work._

Throughout the ceremony, and even Tony's speech, Howard is constantly checking his watch. Worried about leaving Loki and the monitors unattended. Tony does everything possible to stop himself from lashing out at his dad. He can't understand why he would be so disrespectful for the man that didn't abandon him no matter how many times he tried to shut him out. Then he remembered that, Howard's always been the same and he'll never change, work will always come first no matter what.

After the speeches they go outside for the burial. Tony vaguely remembers his mother's funeral, whenever he tried to remember, Jarvis was always there to try and help him. One thing he always told him was that the sun was shining that day but it still felt cold; to remind Tony that he was allowed to be sad but he shouldn't remain sad for the rest of your life. Which is exactly what the weather was like today; Tony starts smiling to himself, thinking of everything Jarvis told him.

It slowly dawns on Tony that his dad is around the plot; lifting his eyes away from the coffin he scans the small crowd. He sighs and shakes his head, his own father, Jarvis' closest friend couldn't even escape work long enough to see his funeral to the end. Tony starts to feel the control of his emotions slipping away. He takes a deep breath and tries to suppress his upset and anger. The rest of the ceremony passes by in a blur; he's so angry at his father that he feels guilty that he's not thinking about Jarvis and then suddenly he wonders if his dad stayed to the end of his mother's funeral.

He's driven home and he goes straight to the living room, there's no point in confronting his father, not when he's this angry. After picking up a bottle of amber liquid, he takes it upstairs to his bedroom. He rips his tie off and tries to get out of his suit whilst drinking from the bottle, just wishing he could numb all his emotions for the rest of the day _or forever_. The warm, bitter, liquid eases his pain as it travels down his throat and pools in his stomach. His phone starts singing as Pepper checks to see how he was got on at the funeral, both she and Rhodey offered to go with him but Tony being his usual stubborn said he wanted to do it on his own. The call goes ignored, and the several others after that and the messages; the only company Tony wants is that of the bottle.

Tony is proud and happy that he hasn't lashed out and he's made it through the day (even if he's not going to remember most of it by tomorrow). But today's the first time in a while that he hasn't seen his mum smile, reassuring he's doing the right thing.

**x-x-x**

Tony is still growing up, eighteen and finished his final year at M.I.T. He still remembers the day he got accepted, how his dad was excited to finally have the house back to himself so he could carry out his work without being bothered by his son's rebellious antics. By then, Tony had stopped looking for his father's approval and decided that any attention was better than no attention at all. Whenever he tried to explain this to Pepper he was shot disapproving looks; whereas Rhodey would just laugh and offer to get him out of any trouble he found himself in. They were a good team.

Now he's travelling back home, mainly to see his friends (as Pepper made him promise and he knows better than to break a promise to Pepper). He arrives at his mansion of a house much sooner than he had expected only to find large groups of the press and police. Ever since he got in at MIT his ego that always went ignored managed to grow and develop; with various magazines reporting on it (who knew a child with his upbringing could become a _genius_) and being all of his professor's favourites as he quickly excelled in the classes. Tony's ego quickly took control of the situation and he got out of his car smiling and waving to the press; _I wonder how long they've been waiting to get a glimpse of me _he thinks to himself, smirking.

His ego swells so large that he can't hear the questions that the press are barking at him about his father. He doesn't realise something's wrong until he's told he can't go into his own house and he's needed for questioning at the police station. Every single worst case scenario suddenly consumes his mind; he stares at the police officer completely dumbfounded not knowing what to do. They slowly help him into the police car; they're trying to tell him it's nothing to worry about but he can't hear them. Drowned out like the press were. He's taken into a small room for questioning; he can't say it's an unfamiliar setting to him though. A tall, muscular, blonde man enters the room; his sapphire eyes observing him as he takes the seat opposite.

"I'm Steve Rogers." He introduces, "I just wanted to have a chat with you about your father's work."

Tony laughs, confused and relieved. "You think I know anything about Howard's work? No one was allowed in that office and I stopped talking to him unless it was necessary since I was eight. So let's stop wasting time and I'll leave you to your job." He stands up and turns his back on Steve.

"Don't you want to know why he's been arrested? Let's talk; you might be able to help." He coaxes with his smooth voice, Tony can see him being a hit with the ladies (and he'd know all about _that_).

That gets his attention and he turns to face Steve again. "He's been arrested…? Like properly? As in could be locked up for years?" Steve doesn't fail to hear a trace of amusement in the boys tone.

"Yeah; his work's got him into a lot of trouble. Did you know he had a boy, about your age, locked in the basement?" He asks carefully, watching his face fall, all amusement gone. Tony staggers back into the chair in shock.

"What the _fuck_ do you mean? He actually had someone _locked_ in the basement?" His brown eyes growing wider, trying to process this information. _How could he hide a fucking person in our house?_ _How did I miss that?_

"It appears your father has been conducting an experiment into child development and isolation and-"

"Well then he might as well have studied me, he left me on my own often enough." He growls, so this is why he was neglected his entire life. _This_ was what was so important. His shock starts to evolve into anger.

"And to study this he has kept a child on his own in a room he had created in your basement." Steve carried on, ignoring his outburst and showing him pictures of the basement. "He's been doing this for seventeen years. You say you knew nothing about this? Didn't have any idea of what was going on?"

"Of course I didn't know what was going on! I'm not as heartless as he is! All I was ever told growing up was that Howard's office was out of bounds and the basement always had a lock on it so I couldn't go down there." His hands curl into fists, he knew his dad was a monster but he didn't think that he could be capable of doing something like this.

"Okay, okay, just calm down. It's just hard to believe that something like that has been happening for all this time right under our noses. He did tell us he didn't expose you to it but we just had to make sure."

"He's been there all this time and I never knew…" Tony whispers; his anger turning into guilt.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, no one knew. Although we will be in touch; we'll be checking out events of your father's story. We'd also appreciate it if you didn't speak of the case to anybody, particularly the press. We don't want this getting out of hand." He manages to reassure in a warning tone, leaning slightly forward on the table in front of them.

"Whatever you say, Captain." He grumbles, standing up again.

"Take care, Tony. We're still searching your house, is there anywhere you could stay whilst we carry out our work?"

"Uuh… Yeah… I'll be fine."

Tony leaves the room and whips out his phone. "Hey, Rhodey, I'm back. Listen… There's some stuff going on at my place… Mind if I bunk at yours for a bit? It's a long story; you won't believe what shit Howard's got himself into."


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

After years of being isolated and not even being in the same room as another human being, Loki suddenly finds himself surrounded by them and he's not sure that he likes it. He craved human contact since he was twelve but now he wishes to be left alone in the room again; he can't handle all the strangers prodding and poking him. As soon as he was taken from the house, he was taken to another big building that he recognises as a hospital – where sick people go to get better _or die_. In there are lots more people, all running around as though they were all needed on some urgent mission.

It's almost as if Loki's body runs on auto pilot as he's ushered from one room to another; none of them as nice as his room. He's laid on firm crisp beds as they run all sorts of tests and search every inch of his skin for any sign of injuries. Even though there was so much commotion and excitement going on around him, Loki still found himself drifting in and out of consciousness, even though he didn't realise he was tired. Every time he woke up, he felt worse than before he went to sleep – head swimming with disconnected thoughts; his arm sore and his entire body aching, groaning with every move he makes. Careful to not cause any more discomfort, he tries to sit up against the pillows. It's then he realises he's in different clothes, a plain soft green gown and his long hair has been cut to slightly below his ear.

Looking over to the door he sees groups of people outside. Since being out of the room his mind seems busier and more distracted; there's suddenly too many things to concentrate on and he can't settle down. The world seems noisier and more crowded than he expected which disappoints him; he misses the quiet. He stares at the door, unsure whether he wants it to open or remain closed to hide him from the world for just a little while longer. Before he can make up his mind about what he wants the decision is made for him as a man walks through the door. Loki observes the man who seems to instantly calm the room; with his white coat covering his purple shirt and tan trousers; his soft looking brown hair curling slightly and his thin frame glasses perched on his nose.

"I'm Doctor Banner, but you can call me Bruce if you prefer. How are you feeling?" He asks in a soft voice.

Loki just watches as he gets closer, starting to get nervous like he did back in the room. "Uum… Fine… I'm fine…" He chokes out, anxiety getting the better of him causing him to shake.

"We've been doing tests whilst you've been sleeping. Physically there doesn't seem to be anything wrong, you're a little underweight for your height and age but other than that you seem fine." He reassures, offering him a warm shy smile. Loki simply nods, his voice failing him. "We're going to keep you here for a while, we have a few assessments we need to carry out. We'll let you get rest tonight and start the interviews in the morning. If you feel up to it, of course."

Loki nods again, looking down at his bed sheets. He doesn't really _want_ to be asked questions. He doesn't really _want_ to be assessed. This isn't how he thought the real world would be at all; he'd seen it on TV programmes but that still didn't prepare him for what was waiting on the other side of those light green walls. The silence in the room is interrupted as Loki's stomach starts growling; he didn't even realise he was hungry.

"I'll get a nurse to bring you in some food and I'll see you in the morning if you think you can do the interview."

Bruce leaves and Loki starts to think that he may like Bruce. He seems calmer than a lot of the other people that he has come across today; isn't overly talkative like the nurses and not as pushy as some of the other doctors. He still misses his room. Too distracted by his thoughts of the people he met today he's startled when he hears a high pitched female voice fill the room.

"Here you go, honey." The nurse beams, placing the tray in front of him. Loki studies the food he has been given; it doesn't look as nice as the things he's made or seen on TV. Instead of being on a plate, the food is kept in strange looking containers and the cutlery are plastic instead of steel. Mistaking his curiosity for confusion, the nurse opens the containers and gets out his knife and fork. "Here, let me show you." She shoves the knife and fork in the correct hands and places hers over his, starting to move them to cut into his food. "It's like this."

Loki pulls his hands violently away from her. "I AM NOT A CHILD!" He screams at her. There have been many times throughout the day where he was close to losing control of his emotions; but being sedated helped forget his fears and anger. However, the medication has slowly been wearing off and this was the last straw for him – her being so close and so condescending. He's a person just like them, just with a different upbringing. It's not as though he's not been somewhat educated even though he was isolated. He curls up in his bed, facing away from the shocked woman as soft sobs slowly leave his mouth.

Worried over his outburst, new doctors he hasn't seen before enter the room and sedate him again to calm him down. The world is black again.

**x-x-x**

With most of the physical results being positive, with a few still pending, they know they need to look more at his psychological development. Bruce Banner and Erik Selvig have worked together for years, they're both renowned doctors in both the physical side of a person and their mental (although Bruce specialises in the mental and Erik in the physical). This made them the perfect men for the job.

From the raid of Howard Starks office reports and videos have been copied and sent to them in order to help them with their research; to try and help them understand the lonely lost boy they have in their care. They read through the detailed reports of every day that he was kept and they had never read anything like it. Everyone knew what Howard Stark was capable of after seeing his previous experiments but everyone just assumed that he had given up – he had done everything he wanted to do. No one expected him to be carrying out his grand finale.

"He had his own son, how could he think of doing something like this? It just…" Erik sighs, still reading the reports. He's disgusted by just the idea of it but he can't help but be fascinated about whether he succeeded or not.

"I know. There's nothing we can do about his past, we just need to prepare him for his future." Bruce says watching the next DVD that Howard had started to put together; it looks like the experiment was close to ending.

All the videos they see are pretty much of the same thing. The same plain room which was the child's entire world with him having the same schedule every day. For the first few clips it's all the major stages in any life; any parent would have videos of the same thing – first words, first steps, first book read, first everything. They all seem to happen sooner than what all the parenting textbooks say, which could be down to Loki having a gift rather than Howard Stark's unique upbringing idea. Then Loki starts to get older; growing angrier that every question he asks about his origins is ignored. The usually quiet and harmless boy; lashes out, breaking and throwing anything he can get his hands on – in the hope that someone would come in to stop him, to give him his answers. The doctors watched in discomfort as the boy, around thirteen years old, destroyed his sanctuary, screaming as he did it.

The men watch hours and hours of footage whilst reading through the piles and piles of notes and reports. They know they need to go home and prepare for the interview that may or may not happen but at the same time they just can't seem to tear themselves away from learning about Loki's life. Bruce has seen many bad cases in his time as a psychologist and mental health doctors but he's never seen anything as horrific as this; that makes him excited and honoured that he'd be able to put this boy back together again. After losing his best friend in high school to suicide he knew that this was what he wanted to do; he may not have been able to save his best friend from the horrors of his mind but he was going to do everything he could to save others.

Questions are written down Bruce hopes he'll get a chance to ask him, sooner rather than later. Once that's done the doctor's finally decide that it's time to go home. After Erik has left the office Bruce lingers for a while, still deep in thought over the troubled young man that's finally going to get his life back. He puts his coat on and leaves; walking down the quiet hallways he wonders whether it would be a good idea to check on Loki – he is his patient now after all. As quietly as he can, he opens the door and tip toes to the foot of the bed where Loki is curled up with his covers tucked tightly around him. A small smile creeps on Bruce's lips and he heads back out the room.

"I didn't mean to scare her…" A hushed, sleep filled voice told him.

Bruce looks back over to the bed and sees bright green eyes staring at the wall, still in the same position. "I know, it's nothing to worry about." He reassures.

"Please… Please don't put me in the dark. Everyone keeps putting me in the dark…" He pleads and images from the videos play in Bruce's mind. Every time he seemed to do something 'wrong' the entire room plunged into darkness, leaving him frightened and anxious.

"My job's to try and brighten the darkness. You'll be safe with me." The comforting words seem to register with Loki as he's rewarded with him looking directly into his eyes; like he's searching them for any trace of lies or doubt. Satisfied with what he finds (or what he doesn't) he offers a touch of a smile and yawns. "I'll let you get some sleep; I'll see you in the morning." Loki nods closing his eyes and Bruce finally manages to leave the hospital.

**x-x-x**

After last night's unexpected interaction with Bruce, Loki was feeling slightly less hostile to the interview, not happy but still slightly more accepting. A different nurse brought him breakfast this morning who was silent as she entered the room and just gave him his food without any interaction. He feels guilty that he scared the other nurse off, he didn't mean to and wanted to apologise – he always had to apologise to the voice whenever he did something wrong and the light would come back. The tasteless food is forced down his throat as he tries to build his strength up for whatever's coming; although the butterflies in his stomach are trying to push it back up.

The tray is taken away from him again without any words being exchanged and once again he's left alone. He feels more alone now than he ever did before, at least in the room he wasn't allowed to have visitors… Here people just ignore him because the want to, not because they have to. Apart from Bruce, Bruce speaks to him. He likes Bruce. Time in the real world seems to pass more slowly; maybe it's because he misses his books or because his anxiety's starting to take over again as he anticipates the interrogation that he knows is coming. Loki has seen many programmes and films where the police officers attack the criminals and the victims with questions and the thought that he was going to be subject to it overwhelms him. Suddenly Bruce isn't enough to calm him.

Finally it's time and Dr Banner comes into the room in practically the same clothes as yesterday. Loki watches him as he comes towards the bed and he could feel his calmness. "How are you feeling today? Think you're up for an interview?"

Loki stares at him for a while, trying to make up his mind, he's not used to making his own decisions; after years of being ordered what to do he's suddenly able to do what he wants to do. "I don't know…" He whispers.

"We could always start it and if you change your mind during it we could stop." The doctor suggested, keen to hear his memories rather than just watch them from the surveillance cameras.

"I can stop…?"

"Of course you can. Just let us know."

"_Us_…?" He whimpers, eyes growing wide.

"It's just me and Steve Rogers who you met yesterday and Dr Selvig will be listening in but he won't be in the room." Bruce reassures, "they're nice people."

Loki makes a face and looks away, tugging at the sleeve on his gown. "Why…?"

"Because we're all interested in what happened to you. We care and we want to help. Y'know, the sooner you do the interview, the sooner you might be allowed to leave the hospital." Bruce knows he shouldn't make promises like that or get his hopes up but he wants to give him the push he needs.

The young, lost man sighs before nodding.

**x-x-x**

The interview takes place in Bruce's office with Bruce and Steve on one side of the desk and Loki on the other side. His eyes roam the new room, fascinated by the many certificates and photos of what appears to be Bruce's family and friends. It's the most personal room he's been in; it's not cluttered but it's not completely bare either. Like Loki's room the walls are also a calming green which soothes him and makes him feel safe. He almost forgets the two men sitting on the other side of the desk and what they're supposed to be doing until Steve starts talking.

"Are you comfortable with doing this?" The honest blonde man asks and Loki nods. "Just let us know if you ever want to stop and we'll take you back to your room, okay?" And Loki nods again. "Okay, right, do you know why you were kept in that room? Were you ever told what the purpose was?"

"No… If I ever asked he just... Stopped talking and turned off the lights…" He mumbles looking down; he hates being made to remember the darkness he just wants to stay in the light.

"Did he ever tell you his name?"

"No… He was just a voice…"

"Do you want to know?"

Loki's bright emerald eyes flicker up to Steve's; he's never been offered information before. Since coming out of the room everyone's just wanted to get information from him and make sure he's not broken. "You'll tell me?"

Neither of the men miss the hope in his voice; their chests churn as their hearts reach out to him. "Of course we will." Steve smiles, "if you want to know and if Dr Banner thinks it'll help."

"I do…" He confirms and his eyes plead with Bruce.

"Telling him may help him understand; it may help the answers he gives but it could distress him." Bruce informs him weighing up the options.

"Banner, keeping it from him could distress him too. He has to find out at some point and the sooner we do it the more time he'll have to adjust." Steve reasons.

"Sure, okay." Bruce nods and sees Loki straighten, as if he's preparing himself for what's coming. "From the reports we've seen and from what Howard Stark, the man who kept you, has told Steve and the people he works with we've been able to piece together what happened. When you were a baby you were entered in a psychology experiment. Dr Stark wanted to see how a child could grow and develop in isolation… He wanted to change child care forever. So you were kept in the room so he could test and monitor you to help with his research and theory. It seems he was going to slowly introduce you back into the world, except Steve got there first and they arrested Howard for keeping you locked away…" Bruce explains slowly, noticing how Loki's face drops in despair.

"And what was going to happen to me afterwards? What's going to happen to me now? I've not even served my purpose! I am nothing now! I have nothing! " The boy cries, looking more lost than ever.

"We're going to rehabilitate you. Get you used to the world and help you live your life." Bruce says, trying to calm him down.

"How?! I'm clearly not wanted if I was just thrown into that room all for some experiment; and no one's going to want me now the experiment has failed!"

"Son, you are wanted; we've found the names of your parents and are going to be contacting them within the week." Steve tells him, hoping that'd distract him and stop him from lashing out.

"Then why did they give me up? Then why didn't they come and rescue me…?" Loki's voice starts waver and break.

"We'll find out when we talk to them and when all of you are ready we'll set up a meeting."

"They haven't wanted to see me before so they won't want to see me now." He murmurs dropping his head that's heavy with a thousand thoughts, forcing the tears to wait until he's safely back in his room.

Bruce sighs watching him, "shall we leave the interview for today? Try again during the week?" Despite suddenly feeling drained Loki manages to nod. "I'll take you back." He offers his hand to help him stand up and he hesitantly takes it. They walk back to his room in silence; letting Loki absorb all the information he has been given. "If you want to talk to me just call one of the nurses and they'll come and get me." He says once they're back in the room.

"What will happen if they want nothing to do with me?" Loki asks quietly, finding his voice.

"I doubt that'll happen but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. You're not going to be alone in this."

Loki sighs and curls up in bed, allowing Bruce to leave.


	5. Chapter Four

**A/N:** I forgot one of these on the other chapter :/ Another Tony chapter here for you to enjoy :D Thank you all so much for your support, I wasn't expecting it! I've got fourteen chapters written now and the whole chapter roughly mapped out! :) Also feel free to find me on Tumblr **thefrostedrose** :D

**Chapter Four**

Tony has been living with Rhodey a week now, Rhodey loves having his friend back and Pepper comes to visit whenever she can to be updated on the situation with Howard and the house. As the week has drawn on Tony has started to become slightly more distant and thoughtful, randomly scribbling things down on any paper he can get his hands on. Rhodey has always been used to Tony's eccentric behaviour but since Howard's arrest it seems to have become worse and he struggles to hold his friends attention for anything longer than half an hour unless Pepper's present.

At the start of the week Tony just wanted a distraction from everything that his father had been doing for the whole of his life; they boys spent plenty of time play war video games as they both have a flair for battle strategy. They'd stay up for hours perfecting several missions or taking a break and watching films. Rhodey didn't mind that, he missed the boy's nights that they used to have when Tony was bored of being in an empty house (or so he thought) and welcomed it back into his life. He's always been there for Tony when he needed him; they have a bond that neither of them have with Pepper or anyone else for that matter. Whenever they're together Pepper tries to be the responsible one if they need it but is slowly worn down by Tony's charm.

He changed after an altercation during the week with the press.

**x-x-x**

_It's the first time the boys venture out of the house but Pepper insisted they get out and get some fresh air. They were on their way to the mall to buy some more films and video games; neither of them know how long Tony will be staying there and the rate they get through games they'd probably run out before he had to leave. On the way there everything seems normal, not many people are really interested in Tony Stark now as he's always around and has been since he was a child. But that was before the secret was revealed; now people are watching him and his friend, whispering behind their hands. This isn't unusual for Tony but this time he knows they're not talking about trying to get into his bed. After years of practice of having his private life displayed in the public he just shrugs it off and ignores them; going back to listening to his friend get excited over the latest game he wants to get. _

_They get to their shop and start going through the video games, sifting through the ones they've already played or not interested in to find something of worth. As a reward for putting up with him for God knows how long, Tony buys Rhodey the games he wants. Usually Rhodey puts up a fight whenever Tony offers to buy him something but he's realised that there's not much point in fighting a losing battle. _

_As soon as they step out of the shop back into the main centre all hell breaks loose and there are cameras and questions are thrust at them. The boys force their way past; doing everything they can to ignore them and not even acknowledge them. But the predators make it harder for them to escape, demanding that their questions should be answered as though they were owed something from him. All the questions are the same: did you know what your father was doing? Was you helping your father in his experiment? Did you ever see the boy? How does it feel to know your dad's been doing this your whole life? Tony doesn't know the answer to any of the questions asked; all he wants to do is get back to Rhodey's and just shut them all away._

**x-x-x**_  
_

Now Tony rarely plays video games with Rhodey or watches films with him. During the week they dared to go out and within minutes they regretted it. Usually Tony knows how to deal with the press and has them eating out of his hands but this time it was different; they weren't about to ease up because he flashed them his winning smile. They kept bombarding him with questions that Tony just couldn't answer; that's what he hated more than anything. Being kept in the dark for years about what was going on he can't even manipulate the truth to lie to the vultures. Since then he's shut himself in the bedroom he's currently occupying and Rhodey's left him to it.

Since he was a child Tony has always had a gift for understanding technology, even the most complex things; which makes it easy to find out what he wants. Whenever he did something at High School or College that he thought his dad wouldn't approve of he'd delete it off his report card or alter the letter home so he wouldn't be disappointed. Although he soon learned that he didn't get a reaction or any attention either way so stopped bothering. Now it isn't a school system he's trying to hack but the local police files. When he was last there and left unattended he uploaded software to allow him a better chance of accessing their documents from home. The whole process takes a lot longer than he was expecting.

Rhodey knocks on the door and walks in without Tony's permission. He finds his friend hunched over the desk typing furiously away at his laptop.

"I'm going to order a pizza in a minute, what do you want?" He asks, the only time Tony remembers to eat is if Rhodey is there to remind him.

"Whatever you're having." Tony mumbles, not looking away from his laptop screen.

"What are you doing? You've been in here for the past two days."

"Stuff."

"What stuff?" He asks, moving closer so he's perched on his friend's shoulder looking at the screen with him.

"Are you going to order the pizza or-?"

"Tony! Are they police files?"

"Yes, _Pepper_." He grumbles, "I wanted to find out about what Howard's done and seeing as I'm not allowed in my house where this stuff has been kept I thought I'd do things a different way."

"I'm just surprised you managed to do it... Well, actually I'm not." Rhodey chuckles, remembering back to all those times back in High School when Tony would get in trouble for changing confidential files. Not that they could prove it was him.

Tony smirks, "right, you order the food and I'll print these."

Rhodey shakes his head grinning but still follows his orders. By the time Tony has found everything he needs and prints it off the pizza arrives and they both sit on the bed surrounded by pizza and papers. Both boys start stuffing the pizza slices into their mouths, eager to get on with reading and talking about the reports. Tony's managed to get things out of Steve; but even Tony's charm and way with words can't make Steve reveal more than he means to. Although, Tony swears he'd have got everything he needed if it was a woman and Rhodey doesn't doubt him. Whenever they go out to bars it turns into a competition on who can get the most numbers and leave with the better looking girl (although, there have been times when Tony's got drunk alone he's ended up waking up next to another guy).

"So, anything interesting in those files?" Rhodey asks after swallowing his last slice of pizza.

"Yeah… I guess… It's just sick. I mean, sure he can be a total bastard to me growing up but that's fine. I guess. I'm his kid even though I hate to be. I _hate_ that label. But to take someone else's and subject them to this shit?" No matter how many time Tony reads the files or hears parts of the story he still can't see what Howard was thinking. He still feels sick to his stomach knowing that his own _father_ was doing something like this instead of raising him.

"Just be happy that it was found out and it's being dealt with. Stop dwelling on what you can't change."

"How can I be happy with any part of this situation? How could I have not known? How could I have been so fucking oblivious?" He snaps.

"Don't do this Tony, it wasn't your fault. Don't even think about trying to take any of the blame for what Howard did." Rhodey sighs, being his friend for years he knows that Tony has self-destructive tendencies and they've just got worse since he's come home.

"But it's true! I shouldn't have just locked myself away in my lab; I should have made him pay attention to me. I should have done more to find out what he was doing!"

"Okay, maybe you could have been a bit more curious but it still would have happened. If anyone should have done something, it was Jarvis. He would have known what was happening and he just stood by and let it happen because he wanted to look after you."

Tony glares at him and his jaw twitches slightly. "Get out."

"Tony I-"

"Now."

"You know I'm right." Rhodey says, standing up and leaving the room with the empty pizza boxes. Tony refuses to respond and locks the door when he's left.

What hurts Tony is the most is that he knows Rhodey's right, even though he won't admit it out loud to himself (let alone anyone else). Jarvis was the father he never really had so to think that he was in on it with Howard disgusts him and he doesn't want his memory of him tainted like that. He knows Jarvis tried to protect him as well as raising him; he tried to stop him hating Howard more than he already did and he didn't want Tony knowing anything and being conflicted over it. Tony is aware of this but he doesn't want to hear it; not from somebody else regardless of how close they are. Even though what happened was more Jarvis' fault than Tony's, he still can't find it in himself to blame the one man he could trust and looked up to. Still trying to wrap his head round what has happened he re-reads one of the reports; notes from the police report of when they found Loki.

'**Loki was discovered in the basement of Stark Mansion, New York. Room has been made to accommodate him in every way; giving him simple comforts and the basics in order to survive and develop. No windows or anything to let in natural light or so he can be seen from the outside; windows were substituted with screens with a scene displayed (according to notes this changed according to the time of the day and year). There was a small basic, open, kitchen which looked regularly used and cleaned; shows that Loki is able to support himself and is in a strict routine (could link to OCD and psychologists will be informed). Only closed space is the small washroom with just a toilet, sink basin and shower – like the kitchen is used and cleaned regularly. When we entered the room Loki was wrapped around himself on the bed, shaking, clearly anxious. Shows that he's not used to being around people – still not proved if Howard had any contact with him, could be why he's so anxious around people (possible abuse, will be confirmed or denied by medical examination). There were lots of books in the room (mainly classics) which shows his development and how he's educated (not sure as to how well he's educated). Loki is able to communicate with people, despite being hesitant. Due to shyness and anxiety it is still unknown how well he can communicate – if he can talk using more than short words, will be something the psychologists will look into. At first look he looks underweight for his age and height despite eating – doctors will determine how well diet was growing up. From first meeting he seems like a competent and functioning person however it is too early and not much interaction to learn anything else. Detailed report to come; including the reports from psychologists and doctors.' **

Tony knows the reports aren't going to give him all the answers that he's looking for and they won't change no matter how many times he reads them. To get the answers he wants he'll have to go to the one person who barely spoke to him in all the years of living there. _If he hardly spoke to me when we were living together why would he speak to me now?_ He thinks to himself, anger coursing through his body at the thought of having to be in the same room as the man. Whenever his thoughts wander to the _pathetic excuse of a father_ he instinctively wants to grab a drink; so that's what he does. A habit he picked up after the funeral was to keep a bottle of whatever alcohol he could get his hands on under his bed in times of need and it's one that's still stuck with him even after MIT. So he starts to down the bottle trying to drown the anger so he can bring himself to get a visitation form. He'll get the answers.

**x-x-x**

"I just don't know what to do with him Pepper; he's constantly locked in his room. I made progress with him and then he just kicked me out. I really need your help, this isn't healthy…" Rhodey unloads onto Pepper; she always knows how to handle him in situations like this, she's always the first he goes to.

"What's he doing in there? Why did he kick you out?" Her usual calm and firm voice going slightly high pitch; she understands that this is a tough time for Tony but she hates how obsessive he seems to be getting over this. Almost like it's a new project for him to work on.

He takes a deep breath before revealing, "he's hacked into the police files… Reading reports of the arrest and what his dad was doing. He's blaming himself for not knowing what Howard was doing. I told him it's more Jarvis' fault than his and he didn't like that…"

"He's doing what?! James, you need to put a stop to this-!"

"I've tried, Pepper! You know how stubborn he gets and how involved he gets when something interests him! You need to come down here and help me out with him…"

"I'll try and get down during the week; you'll need to keep an eye on him before then. Stop him from doing anything stupid. I dread the day he can go back home… It'll be so much worse when he's absorbed in his lab." Pepper knows that Tony's more or less an adult now and he was forced to grow up quite quickly because of his childhood but she still can't help but worry about him. When Jarvis died he shut himself away for months; he rarely ever left his lab, just trying to busy himself from his own thoughts.

"Alright, I'll try my hardest… I thought I was getting somewhere with him and then I just screwed it up… I can't do this without you…"

A giggle slowly brings the sombre mood back up, "I know, you two are just useless without me. Especially when it comes to emotions, I'm surprised either of you could name them on your own."

"Hey, be nice to me otherwise I'll let Tony hack the hospital too." He jokes and she can hear the smile in his words.

"Don't you dare! Seriously, you need to keep him from getting into trouble. He's in _your_ house which makes him _your_ responsibility."

"I'll put my foot down with him. I'll keep you updated and you let me know when you're coming over."

"Alright, Rhodey, see you soon."

"Bye Pep." He hangs up and thinks about what she said. He hates that he's not able to give Tony all the help he needs. Rhodey loves Pepper, both boys do, but it's usually her that manages to sort everything out for the best leaving them still clueless about how to deal with it themselves. He's so dependent on her; he doesn't know what he would ever do without her or how he lived without her in the first place. It's obvious Tony feels the same about her; if he doesn't listen to Rhodey he'll listen to Pepper (even if he does take a lot of persuading).

A part of him wants to check up on Tony, make sure that he's not completely destroying himself. Then there's the other part that's screaming at him to not do it and to just leave him alone and give him some space. He could still be angry at him and the last thing he wants is a shouting match with him; especially when he's on a self-destructive streak as it is. So instead, he decides to go to bed and deal with it all in the morning.


	6. Chapter Five

**A/N:** Somehow I managed to forget to update this yesterday… But it is here now for you to enjoy! And hello to all my lovely new readers :D

**Chapter Five**

To Loki nothing seemed to change since that interview. He was still alone in the world and it didn't seem like anything was going to change that either; there had been no news as to whether his parents have been found or even want anything to do with him. As the days have gone past there have been more tests and more questions that Loki doesn't see any point in answering. He's sick of being stared at by strangers who think they know what's best for him – even though that's the one question he never seems to be asked _what do you think you should do? _ Today there's going to be a new change; he's going to be given proper clothes rather than a flimsy gown. He's going to start to become a real person.

"What colours would you like to wear?" Bruce asks sitting next to his bed.

"I can choose…?" Loki inquires, still not used to have a choice or a say in the matter. He doubts that it'll ever become normal to him.

"Of course you can. What would you like?"

"Umm…" He pauses with a thoughtful expression, "I think I'd like… Green and black…"

"I can arrange that for you. Interesting choice in colours…" Bruce has started to become more subtle when it comes to asking questions or trying to get some information. He doesn't know whether Loki has noticed or not but it seems to get more results and keeps him relaxed.

"Green's safe." Is the only thing Loki offers in the form of an explanation; Bruce is happy enough with it and doesn't push for anything else. He's got what he wanted and leaves to arrange to get Loki what he wants.

Loki is starting to grow attached to Dr Banner; he's starting to notice that he misses him when he's not in the room and feels disappointed when he's not available. He seems to be the only one that understands him and is willing to talk to him about something else other than his upbringing… The _experiment_. Even though he likes being around Bruce and having him to talk to; ever since he was told about his family all he wants to do is meet them. For once be given the answers that he needs rather than supply everyone else with what they want to know.

Thoughts about his parents capture him; suddenly he can't get them out of his head. Wondering what they would be like and wondering if he'll ever get to find out for himself or just be told things as they can't bear to face him. Images start to assemble in his mind of what he thinks his parents would look like; the same raven hair as him although his dad has piercing blue eyes and his mum has green eyes. Both tall like him, although his mother is a little shorter than his father but both just as pale. After years of seeing the same image in the mirror and being familiar with him trying to picture his family to be any different doesn't seem to be happening. Do they have any other children? But how could they if they didn't even want him? It occurs to him that maybe meeting them isn't a good idea (not that they would want to meet him) and will just shatter any illusions that he has of them. He's so lost in his thoughts he doesn't notice how much time has gone past and suddenly Dr Banner is walking back into the room with a nurse who's carrying bags.

"Want to see what we've got?" Bruce asks smiling; helping the nurse put the bags on the end of the bed.

Loki sits up and shuffles closer to the bags; he sits cross-legged and peers into them. He lifts the clothes out piece by piece, being so gentle and careful as though they were the most precious things he's ever seen. Then it saddens Bruce to think that they probably are; he's been given things before but never anything he's really wanted – only what he needed. The sadness quickly leaves when he sees the grin on Loki face which only widens when he sees Bruce and notices a difference about him.

"You're wearing green…" Loki whispers, eyeing the new green lab coat.

"I thought you'd like it. What do you think of the clothes? I had to get Jane to help me."

"They're perfect… Thank you." He says quietly, slowly running his fingers along the soft materials. Jane nods smiling at him and leaves the room, allowing Bruce to speak to him.

"You'll have to try them on and you can wear your favourite outfit next week."

"Next week…?" A puzzled expression forms on his face, is he only allowed to wear certain clothes on certain weeks? Maybe he didn't have as much freedom as he thought, not that he minded, it's still more than he's used to.

"Yes… We've uh… We've managed to contact your parents. They'd like to meet you. If you're comfortable with that, of course." Bruce says carefully, studying Loki's facial expressions which appear to be conflicted.

"They want to see me…?"

"Of course they do, but you can decide whether you want to see them. I'm sure they'd understand if you don't want to." Bruce reassures, not wanting him to feel pressured into doing anything he didn't want to do. It's going to be one of the biggest steps for him to make and they haven't even got him fully ready for the outside world yet. Then again this could help that…

"Okay…"

"Are you sure? Like I said you don't have to if you're not feeling up to it."

"I'm sure." Loki nods.

"Okay, I'll let them know." Bruce smiles, "now, why don't you try those clothes on?"

**x-x-x**

Loki tugs at the long green sleeves of his jumper anxiously as he waits for Bruce to collect him. He looks in the mirror and studies himself. Is this what they want to see? Is this what they expect? His raven hair is still just slightly curling under his ear; his face still looking thin with his sharp cheekbones highlighted by the pale flesh. Emerald eyes gaze back at him but with a brightness he's not used to seeing; which are surrounded by deep, dark circles. For the past week Loki has hardly slept, his nerves have got the better of him many times. With the anxiety came the nightmare, always the same one. He's in a room with two people whose faces he never sees; he's begging them for answers for what happened and to take him into the family, to let him be the son he's never had a chance to be. However they don't want him to be their son, they never have done and are angry that he's been found. Suddenly he finds himself thrown back in the room with everything he's been given stripped from him and he's suffocated by the darkness.

He sits back on the bed, trying to catch his breath as everything starts to come falling down on him. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he isn't ready. Maybe he should just go and find Bruce and tell him that he doesn't want to do it. But he can't seem to pull himself up from the bed, he doesn't seem to have the energy to do anything other than sit there and steady himself. Thoughts race through his mind, unable to focus on anything other than the door in front of him. Anticipation builds and builds as he waits for it to open; he's gone from breathing too quickly to hardly breathing at all. As the door opens he wants to leap off the bed but find that he can't move or keep himself from shaking. Bruce instantly sees how panic has taken over Loki and he perches himself next to him on the bed.

Loki's hand gradually moves from the bed to Bruce's green lab coat, stroking it tentatively in an attempt to calm himself down. Dr Banner has found himself in many situations like this before and each one is for a different reason and with Loki he feels that he doesn't feel he has to say something. The boy knows why he's here with him and that he won't make him do or say anything he doesn't want to. After a while the shaking hand stroking his arm stops shaking and he starts to regain control of his fear.

"Remember, you don't have to do this. They'll understand." Bruce tells him.

"I don't know if I can… I just… I'm…" He sighs, words leaving with the panic, making him unable to form a simple sentence.

"Loki, it's completely up to you. But let me tell you this, you've come quite far quite quickly and I think to help with your rehabilitation seeing them can make a huge impact. You're stronger than you think, but if you need more time that's completely fine." Bruce encourages, letting Loki keep his hand rested on his rest.

"Will you be in there with me…?"

"If that's what you want." Lost eyes search his face, trying to find the answer as to what he should do. His head lowers and his decision is made.

"Can you take me to them?"

"Sure, let's go." Bruce nods, standing up and helping Loki off the bed.

The walk through the hospital seems like the longest walk that Loki has been on, and recently they've started to let him wander around the grounds with Dr Banner. He thinks that Dr Banner is purposely going slowly, in case he changes his mind and so it's not late when he does. Finally they reached the room; Loki's parents were just behind that door. He stops in his tracks as soon as he sees it, grabbing Bruce's sleeve. Bruce turns to look at him, the panic is back and he notices the boy starting to tremble. After some soothing words, the panic starts to ease and he's ready once again. Dr Banner reaches for the door and opens it; he enters with Loki hesitantly following him inside.

In the room, Loki doesn't find the people he's been imagining. Sitting in the room aren't tall, slim and pale figures, far from it. The older man is quite short and stocky; with long thick grey hair and a patch over one eye. He's dressed in a business suit which he looks comfortable in; he probably has an important job somewhere. The woman sitting next to him, he assumes is his mother, is taller than her husband (so Loki assumes that he must have inherited her build). He studies her and notices how elegant she looks just sitting there, calmly with an air of excitement; her long dark blonde (or light brown, it is hard to tell in the harsh light) hair up, revealing her thin neck. Then there was another visitor that he wasn't expecting to see. A young man, around the same age as Loki, possibly older who he could tell was their son. How could he miss it? Same thick blonde hair; same blue eyes as his mother, just brighter; same height, like Loki, but unlike Loki he is a mass of muscles. So they _had_ replaced him. Loki tears his eyes from the three strangers and they find the floor as Bruce helps him find the chair and sits next to him.

There is an awkward moment of silence before Bruce speaks. "So, this is just going to be an informal conversation just to get everyone acquainted. If anyone wants to stop at any time, please just say and we can rearrange this meeting for when everyone's ready." Everyone just nods, trying to get their thoughts in order, Loki still hanging his head and staring at his feet. "Right, would you like to start?" He asks looking at his parents.

The man and the woman look at each other, wondering who should start and how. Odin still doesn't know what to say; he wasn't overly happy when the news broke of the experiment being found out about. It unnerves him how much he looks like Laufey, apart from the eyes; he has the same emeralds as his mother – although his are shining brighter than hers ever could now. Surely he's aware that something's different? That he's not theirs? There's no turning back now, and telling him he's adopted just when they say his mentality is starting to be stable is something that not even Odin would do. Not wanting to wait anymore Frigga breaks the silence, knowing Odin would be reluctant to do it.

"Hello, Loki. I'm Frigga, this is Odin" she says pointing to him "and this is Thor." She motions to the younger man next to her. Her voice is understanding and gentle; something Loki has rarely experienced before. Loki simply nods. Now he has names and faces, he never imagined this would actually be happening to him and he's still not sure if it's what he wants. How is he supposed to fit in with this perfect family who have years of history? How can they open their arms to a stranger? Frigga looks at Odin, pleading with him to say something.

"It's good to see you, Loki. You must have had a rough time." Odin says, not knowing what else to say to him. Loki offers a slight shrug of the shoulders as a response. Why should he care? He was the one that put him there. Even if he wasn't he made no effort to try and find him.

"I know you must be so angry at us… It's a complicated story but know that we've always loved you and a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you; or what it was like when I first held you; or what it was like when I had to say goodbye." Frigga continues, voice starting to crack with emotion. "Loki, I… _We_ want to make it up to you. We love you and we want you in the family. I understand you'll want to punish us for whatever happened to you but believe me; I've been punishing myself for the past eighteen years for what I allowed to happen. I shouldn't have let it happen and I know that I should have stopped it but we were cut off from what was going on. Doctor Stark wouldn't give us updates and we didn't know where he would be carrying out or even what it really was that he wanted to do…"

"But why…?" Loki whispers, unable to meet her tear filled gaze.

"It was what was best at the time. We knew you'd be safe there." Odin replies, stroking his wife's hand to calm her down.

Loki hates not being able to understand the outside world; if he was able to he might understand what he was safe from. Maybe it was the world itself? It was bad enough one son had to grow up in such a corrupt world, why make them both suffer? But for Loki he was the one that was made to suffer, not Thor. Regardless of how imperfect the world around him is at least he had people to help him through it. Who did Loki have? A voice that refused to give him any answers and his only look into the outside world were through films and books. He starts to tug at his sleeves again feeling uncomfortable; all his emotions fighting each other in a constant battle is both exhausting and confusing for him. He notices his brother just sitting there, staring at either him or the floor – as though he was feeling the same thing that he was. Did he know about him? Or was he kept in the dark too?

"We never wanted to hurt you and I wish I could explain our actions but I can't and I hate myself for it." Frigga says quietly, seeming a little bit calmer.

Loki's head snaps up at this and sees that it's only her voice that's calm; her face tells a different story as to what's going on in her head. "Don't… I… It's just…" He starts to become distressed and looks at Bruce to help him out.

"It's a lot to take in for him at the moment. He has to adjust to a lot of things and a lot of them are happening all at once. Don't mistake his silence for hate, Mrs Odinson. If you want to, we can take a break for today? Try again in a week or so?" Dr Banner steps in, trying to help ease the situation for both parties. He always knew it was going to be tense and emotional but that didn't stop him for hoping for something different.

She nods and looks back at Loki, slowly reaching forward and squeezing his arm gently. "Don't feel for one moment that we don't want you, because we do. I never wanted to let you go and now you're back I have no intention of letting you go again."

Loki doesn't flinch under her touch or make any move to pull away. He's too captivated by her expressive eyes. How could he hate her when she's making this effort? When she's making this heartfelt plea? He brings his hand up to clasp hers, reassuring her that he won't give up on her and begging her to do the same. That touch was all she needed, no words had to be said for her to know that he still wants a mother. She smiles softly. Loki loves her smile, so warm… Gentle… Genuine. He can feel the sides of his mouth tug upwards slightly in return. A part of him wants to be angry, to lash out at them for what they've done. But he's spent so long wishing for a family that he doesn't have the heart to throw it back in their faces. He never imagined that the meeting would go like this, so full of love and understanding.

He takes his hand off of hers and Bruce stands up beside him to escort them outside. His three family members stand up to follow; Frigga planting a kiss on the top of his head before leaving. Loki looks up to see that Dr Banner and his parents have left the room, but Thor has held back. Still studying his brother. The blonde sits down opposite him, taking the place where his mother was sitting.

"Brother I… I didn't know. I wasn't much older than you when all this took place. Mother has always loved me but as I grew older I could see there was something missing – they refused to give me answers – but now I understand." No matter how soft Thor tries to speak his deep, booming tone is always present. Almost like a gentle giant type.

"You didn't know…?" Loki asks in surprise; although remembering his facial expression from earlier things are slowly starting to make sense.

"No and I was furious when I found out. I could not understand why they would keep something like this from me. I think they were ashamed of what they had done. Particularly mother. Brother, I promise, if I had known I would have done all I could to find you." The anger is creeping into his tone; Loki suspects that he still hasn't forgiven their parents for what they did. To be honest, Loki's surprised at how calm he was towards them. He has every right to be angry at them for what they had subjected him to but yet he sat there in silence.

"It was not your fault… You mention mother caring but… But what about father?" Confidence gradually building up within Loki as he presses for answers he's wanted his whole life. He could see himself that his mother regretted what happened and wanted nothing more than a chance to make it right but Odin… Well, he was a different story. With his eye examining him as though he wasn't human and short words as though he didn't want to talk or acknowledge him at all.

"Father isn't as open, emotionally, as mother. It's not necessarily a bad thing but it is always difficult to tell what he's thinking. He is a good father and has been supportive of me and I have no doubt that he wouldn't be any different with you."

"Then why did he have me locked away?"

"I do not know, brother. I wish I could give you the knowledge that you deserve. I will try and find anything I can out for you; in all honesty I think they were deceived and didn't realise the true nature of the… Experiment."

"Do you really believe them to be that naïve?"

"I think they may have been desperate and so things were overlooked when they were promised everything would be okay. But, I don't know. You're back with us now, brother, and that's all that matters." Thor smiles and squeezes his shoulder 'gently'.

Loki winces at the affection and nods, not knowing what else to say. It's clear that Thor knows just as much (if not slightly more) as Loki does about the whole situation. His brother stands up to leave; he says goodbye and smiles before walking out of the room. The thin, pale, man lets out a breath he wasn't fully aware he was holding and just waits for Bruce to come back in and collect him.


	7. Chapter Six

**A/N:** Remembered to post it this week! As I'm getting chapters written fairly quickly I'm considering posting twice a week rather than once? But I'll be getting more school work to do soon I don't know if I'll be able to keep it up all the time? Let me know what you think here or on tumblr (**thefrostedrose**). As always thank you for all your support! 3

**Chapter Six**

The first thing Tony did when he was allowed to go back home was to instantly go to Howard's office and try to find anything that the police might not have done or to just see the room that his father spent all of Tony's life hiding it. He was disappointed but not surprised at the very thorough job that the police did when it came to taking files and essentially leaving the office bare. What did surprise him was the photo of his mother that featured on the desk; there were hardly any photos of her around the house – only in photo albums that were tucked away in drawers. Once he had checked the office he made his way down to the basement to see the place where he kept the child for all those years. He was amazed that he had never come across it before and that someone actually lived in this room for almost eighteen years.

After having his visiting requested denied either by Steve Rogers or his father; today is the day that he has finally been allowed to see Howard. Tony has made it clear to himself (the same way he will do to Howard when he sees him) that he's not doing this because he cares about him or is concerned; he wants to know why the bastard thought it was a good idea in the first place and how he managed to keep it secret for so long. Just being back in the house has made it all so much worse; has made him so much angrier over what his _father_ had done. He finds himself visiting the basement daily and doesn't leave for hours. Tony knows it's not healthy and every time he sets foot inside it he can hear Pepper lecturing him; almost screaming at him to get back out.

Rhodey and Pepper call him daily since he's been home to check up on him. Tony appreciates why they're doing it but he just doesn't need it. He doesn't really want them getting involved in whatever he's doing to get involved with. It's tearing him apart; he doesn't want to see his friends go through the same thing. A lot of people mistake Tony's attitude for selfishness but it's not; he's been independent from a young age he likes to handle everything himself and _hates_ asking for help. He'll never change that. Not even after what that bastard has done. His phone starts vibrating as Pepper tries to reach him, but it goes ignored just like the others he's had this morning. He can't think about anything else right now. The experiment is consuming his every thought and by going to see Howard hopefully he'll put a stop to that. It'll be the first time he's ever done something useful for Tony.

He pulls whatever band tee he lays his hands on over his head and glances in the mirror. It looks like he's not slept properly for days… Mainly because he has hardly slept at all after being back in his house. Everything just reminds him of all those ignorant years. A quick glance at the clock tells him that he should be leaving soon in order to get there remotely on time. Sighing he reaches for the bottle of scotch that has significantly decreased in the days he's been back; although he's surprised he's not finished it yet. He pours himself a glass and nurses it until he decides it's time to go. The drive seems longer than it should. A large part of him wants to race there and get his answers as soon as he can but he doubts he can bear to be in the same room as the psychologist. He finally arrives and walks inside.

**x-x-x**

Steve Rogers is there to greet Tony. Physically everything seems fine, but there's something different about his eyes this time. They're not as bright as last time and seem dull by working on this case; it's eating away at him. Despite this he still smiles as he takes Tony's hand and shakes it.

"How have you been, Tony?" He asks.

"Fine, Captain." Tony replies, flashing him his winning smile to try and brighten his eyes. "So where is he?"

"We're going to keep you both away from the other prisoners and visitors. He's still been pretty quiet on what he's been up to. We have all the reports and he has elaborated on a few things but we were going to see if he gave you any more details. So, if you don't mind, we're going to put you in an interview room and watch what happens." Steve informs him in a tone that Tony can't really argue with (although he would give it a damn good shot if he felt like it).

"Sure. Whatever. Shall we get this thing started then?"

The broad blonde nods and leads Tony down various corridors to a room that is being guarded by two burly police officers. It amuses Tony that his father is seen as this much of a threat, that one guard isn't enough to take down a man that hardly ventured outside of his office. Before letting him in, Steve tells him that he can walk out whenever he wants and if he needs any help he just needs to ask one of the men who are standing outside – even though Steve will be in the next room watching anyway. Tony briefly pauses and takes a deep breath before stepping inside the room.

Despite Tony's arrogance landing him in a lot of trouble in the past, because of his money and status he's never actually found himself in a room like this before. It's fairly small with just a desk and two chairs either side of it; one for him and one that Howard has already taken. It was strange seeing his father out of a business suit and in a bright orange jumpsuit, branding him. Then again, it was strange to see him at all. He'd almost forgotten what he looks like. Only seeing him a few times over his years he can tell that Howard hasn't really changed. The receding hairline slowly getting worse and a thin brown moustache which matches his hair are what he remembers most and how he can tell that this man is still the same absent father. Without saying anything Tony sits down, Howard doesn't even bother to lift his head in acknowledgement.

"Not going to say anything? Can't say I'm surprised. Why bother changing a habit of a life time?" Tony scoffs, staring at the man, trying to get a response. When none came, Tony knew he had to do more to try and get him to open up. "Did you speak more to that kid you held prisoner for pretty much my whole life? Or did you ignore him as much as you ignored me?"

Howard sneers, "You know nothing about him or my work. Now unless you've smuggled me in a drink you can get out."

"And whose fault is that?" Tony snaps, ignoring his last comment. "You made sure to keep me separated from every single aspect of your life."

"It was none of your business! It still isn't!"

"Well it's my business now! I've been dragged into it because of your name! Now, why don't you enlighten me as to what was so important that Jarvis had to bring me up?" He growls, starting to lose his patience.

"Why do you even care? I still won't be able to be a dad to you now I'm in here."

"I don't want you to be a dad! I've gone this long without my parents, why the fuck should I want you now?"

"Watch your language! As much as we both hate it, I'm still your father and you still need to respect me!"

"Respect? You want me to respect you?" Tony laughs, not believing what has reached his ears. "Just because we share the same blood and last name does _not_ mean I'm born to respect you. You have to _earn_ respect. And you should know that seeing as I'm yet to earn yours." Howard doesn't say anything and simply glares at his son. "Now. Tell me about your work. Did you hurt him?"

"Of course I didn't hurt him. Regardless of what you think of me I'm not a monster."

"You are a monster. Even if you didn't physically abuse him, you still kept him locked up without any human contact. Can you imagine how difficult it's been for him to be introduced to the real world? How scared he is because you've fucked him up?" How _dare_ he think he's not a monster? Doesn't he understand what he's done? Maybe it's a good thing that he wasn't involved in Tony's life if this is the type of role model he would have got.

"They should have let me finish what I started! I was going to get him used to the outside gradually, make the transition as easy as possible. But no. _They_ thought they knew _best_."

"Of course they did! There was no way in hell they were going to let you carry on with your sick game!" Tony spits.

"It wasn't a game! It was going to be a breakthrough! I was the first to do something like this! I was going to change the world with this experiment! I managed to avoid them for years and then when it gets most crucial they interfered and screwed the entire thing up!"

"How is this their fault?! They were trying to help him! If you hadn't have put him in that situation in the first place then none of this would have happened!"

"He was fine in there! He was happy and healthy! I wasn't doing anything wrong! I was trying to protect him from the world. He was safe there. Now they've just taken him from his own little place and thrown him into the real world. The harsh, real, world." Howard genuinely thinks that he was doing the right thing. How is that remotely right?

"So is that why you did it? Instead of protecting your _son_, your son that had lost his mother, you chose to protect this stranger? To isolate him from the harsh reality, yet you were so willing to expose it to me?" Tony asks, leaning forward demanding an answer.

"You want to know why I did it?" Howard smirks. "I did it because I wanted to create the perfect son. From an early age it was clear how much of a trouble-making fuck up that you'd be; so I made a plan b. Someone that I knew I'd be proud of and be able to respect. Unlike you. Yeah, you're smart but so what? You're developing a drink problem that can rival mine; you let anyone into your bed and I've had to waste _so_ much money to keep your ass out of prison. Are you happy now?"

Steve stares through the glass; mouth wide open not believing what he's just heard. He notices the boy hasn't moved or flinched at the words. It's almost as if he and Tony have forgotten to breathe, the shock of what his own father had said just shocking them into silence. Steve knows Tony's record and story quite well, if it's not been in the reports it's been on the TV or in the newspapers he reads, and he's just waiting for Tony to explode. Even if he didn't know that about Tony he would expect the same from anyone in that situation. After what seems like hours of waiting for a reaction Tony leans back in his chair, as if the words had only just hit him.

"Yeah. I'm _very_ happy now. Now I can stand by and let you rot in jail without feeling any guilt or any need to try and help you. Now I can officially wash my hands of you without wanting to look back. Now you're _dead_ to me." Tony says, his words quiet as he forces his voice to be steady and not show the anger that he knows Howard wants to see. Although he can't quite force it from his eyes. Without another word being said he stands up from his chair and walks out of the room; staying true to his word and not looking back.

He's halfway down the corridor when he hears Steve calling his name, running after him to try and calm him down. When he doesn't respond Steve's large hand wraps around his forearm pulling him to a stop so they can talk. Tony refuses to meet his eyes, not being able to get Howard's words out of his head.

"Tony, are you okay? He's angry at the whole situation, he's just lashing out and-"

"Don't bother to try and make excuses for him. Just don't. We both know he's not just lashing out, it's true and I'm better off without him in my life. Now if you don't mind I'm going to go home and drink until I can't remember having a father that wasn't Jarvis." He snaps, he's not really angry at Steve but he's just pushing him and telling him things he couldn't give a shit about anymore. He had given the elder Stark far too many chances and now he had blown the last one and he was ready to wash his hands of him.

Steve sighs; every moral fibre in his body just wants to help the boy. Fix his problems for him so he doesn't turn to the drink to do it instead and so he doesn't turn out like his father. Instead he just nods and lets him go. Telling him that he'll be in touch about the case and to just see how he's getting on. Tony just shrugs, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. The hand on his arm suddenly slips away and Tony makes a beeline for the exit and his car.

**x-x-x**

It's late in the evening and Tony lost all his sober thoughts hours ago. As soon as he got home he went straight for the bar and proceeded to empty as much of its contents as he could. His phone is full of unanswered messages and missed calls from Rhodey and Pepper. Most of them threatening that they would come round if he didn't answer them or to tell them he was okay. He figured Rhodey had managed to talk Pepper into giving him his space because in the last hour he's had next to nothing and his phone has stayed silent.

The painful words that his dad had said are at the back of his mind now; where he files most of the broken memories he has of his dad. Through the night he has gone through many stages because of them. First he was angry and after the first bottle of whatever he drank he smashed, along with a few other glasses; then he was emotional and found himself curling up on the bed in the basement, crying that he was finally all alone and over the boy who lost his freedom to this room and now he was accepting the fact he can't dwell on it forever. The genius is still curled up on the bed, cradling a bottle of amber liquid as though he was protecting it – not thinking about his dad but thinking about the boy instead. About how he would need help getting back into the world that he knows next to nothing about.

Despite losing his sense and logic through the numbing alcohol he knows what he wants to do. After he's woken up (and dealt with his hangover) he's going put his plan into action. Before he passes out into an intoxicated sleep he knows what his goal is now; to find Loki and do whatever he can to help him back into the world.


	8. Chapter Seven

**A/N:** I was so surprised at the amount of reviews I was left in the last chapter :D I love hearing that you guys are enjoying this! I've decided to update twice this week because of my excitement over the Iron Man 3 trailer, the Always Read The Fine Print update and the First Comes Marriage update :) Some people have asked about Howard and the police so if anyone else was wondering, that's an issue that will be addressed later on in the fic as I want to focus on Loki in the world and him with Tony for most of this :)

**Chapter Seven**

Dr Banner is surprised as to how Loki has been developing, especially since the meeting with his parents a few weeks previous. They have kept in contact through the hospital and Frigga has had a couple of phone calls with Loki. He's still shy around the other members of staff and Steve when he comes in for his weekly visit, but he's started to gain more confidence when talking to Bruce. The boy has become more inquisitive rather than accepting of everything that's happening around him. To make sure that this continues, Bruce has still been wearing the green coat which has been a great comfort to Loki. After having talks with Steve and Dr Selvig, Bruce has been starting to look into allowing Loki to go home and be with his family.

As always Bruce knocks on the door before entering and walks in upon hearing Loki's permission. He finds Loki in the usual position, his knees pulled close to his chest and a book in his hands. Bruce has learnt to wait for the pale face to look up at him before talking to him, so he knows he's not interrupting his reading. In the past couple of weeks Loki has snapped at the nurses whenever they interrupt him for food when he hasn't even finished his sentence. He doesn't mean to, but he's not used to having his reading paused for social interaction. Loki looks up at Bruce and nods slightly.

"How are you feeling today?" Bruce asks in the same calm manner as he always does.

"Good." He nods, waiting to hear the real reason of the visit so he can go back to his book.

"I've been talking to Steve Rogers and Dr Selvig. We're all impressed as to how you've adjusted given your situation and how capable you are of doing things, whether they're trivial or more complex. Of course you need help at times but that's to be expected and it's far less than what we thought at first. You were very strong in the meeting with your family… How do you feel about them since you've been talking to them?"

"Um…" He sits up cross-legged on the bed, still holding the book. They've not really spoken about the meeting since it happened; Loki hasn't really wanted to bring it up. "Mother and Thor are nice… Friendly… Father's not really said anything to me… And he's not really spoken of to me either…"

"How do you feel about living with them? It would be when you felt ready but it will happen sometime."

Loki fingers the pages of his book gently, considering the question. "I could tolerate it… I suppose… If they want me…"

"Frigga has expressed a great deal of interest in having you home. She got quite excited at the suggestion of it." He smiles fondly, remembering the conversation. "I'm sure Thor would enjoy having his brother around too, he asks about you a lot apparently."

"Yes… I can sometimes hear him in the background." A ghost of a smile appears on his lips and then quickly vanishes. "Don't you want me here anymore…?"

"Oh, Loki, that's not the reason." Bruce sighs sitting on the edge of the bed. "You were never going to be able to stay here forever. This was all just the first step into getting you into society. There's more to the world than just going from room to room. Don't you want more than to be surrounded by the same four walls for the rest of your life?"

"You're just going to leave me…?"

"No, no, I'll be visiting you. You'll have my number in case you need to contact me. I'm sure Thor will set you up with an email address then you'll be able to email me too if you want to. We won't abandon you and if it ever gets too much for you we will intervene. And you don't have to do it right now, it's just a suggestion we want you to start to consider. It'll be up to you when you feel ready." Bruce reassures.

So far everyone that has been in Loki's life has left him and to him it's still happening. He doesn't want to lose Bruce; he's the closest he's ever been able to get to someone. Then again… Could it happen with his family? Both his mother and Thor seem to have a desire to get to know him, to make him part of the family. As much as he hates to leave the familiarity of just going from one room to another he knows Bruce is right and that he will have to leave one day. He just didn't realise how soon he would be able to leave.

"I'll let you think about it. Let me know when you've decided something." Bruce smiles, getting off the bed and walking out of the room, giving Loki some space.

Loki stares at the book in his hands, he can't focus on the words that stain the pages after what Dr Banner has suggested. A shaky breath leaves his lips as his weighs up his options and all the possibilities that could come from them. If he stays here he's already settled and doesn't have to worry about going somewhere new; he has Bruce nearby and has a level of freedom he's comfortable with. If he leaves he'll be with his family; he'll most likely see more of the world that he's been kept from for all this years and Bruce said he'd visit. But why should he go back to a family that abandoned him? Why do they care about him now and they didn't then? As these thoughts enter his mind so does the image of his mother's tearful eyes and Thor's fury as he told him that he was kept in the dark just as much as Loki was.

Maybe it wouldn't be too terrible… Maybe he'll actually be able to bond with them… Even his father. With the book in his hands he realises that he'll be able to visit the places that he's only ever read about – he'll be able to gain the same experiences that all the characters have had the chance to go through. When he's comfortable enough he may even make actual friends rather than just relying on the paper protagonists. It would be a lie to say none of these thoughts are terrifying him; making him so anxious that he has to remind himself to breathe. But under all that worry and fear there is a flicker of excitement which fuels his curiosity.

**x-x-x**

Loki packs the last of his things into a bag. It amuses him that all of his eighteen years can fit into one small suitcase but it upsets Bruce. Then again it's thanks to Bruce that he has anything to his name at all. Neither of them imagined that this point would come so quickly. Loki's only been there for nearly two months now and already he's showed immense progress allowing him to go outside properly. It's been a week since the idea was first suggested for him to move in with his family and even though he knew how frightening it would be, it's even more daunting now. He shuts the case and perches on the bed beside it, holding his head in his hands. The door opens and clicks shut again as feet shuffle into the room. Dr Banner's green coat comes into view as he stands in front of Loki.

"Are you ready?" The doctor enquires, taking off his glasses.

The mop of ink hair stays lowered as Loki doesn't move or acknowledge he's being addressed. Suddenly this isn't such a good idea and doubts drown any rational voices in his head. Rescuing him from the sea of thoughts, Bruce places a reassuring hand on his shoulder and squeezes. Wide green eyes find his relaxed brown ones and the fear slowly ebbs away so it's just a numbed feeling in the background. Loki places his slender pale hand on Bruce's tanned one and sighs, knowing he's got to get over this fear but worried he might not be able to.

"You'll get through this. You won't get through it if you just sit in this room all the time but I promise by being with your family you will be able to. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, I never have done and you know that, but what I am saying is that you'll have more of a chance with them than you do here."

"I know… I know I'm being stupid but-"

"You're not, Loki. It's completely understandable for you to feel like this and they understand it too. They're not expecting you to join in as though nothing has ever happened; they know it's going to be difficult for you."

"Okay…" Loki mumbles, he can't argue with Bruce, not with his rational worlds and reasoning.

"So… Are you ready?" He repeats, knowing he'll be given an answer this time.

Loki nods and gets off his bed with the suitcase. Dr Banner leads him out of the room and through the maze of the hospital. Even though Loki had been there a while he never investigated the building around him, most of the time he wasn't sure he was allowed to but he was more worried bumping into people that just wanted to question him. Before he realises it they're at the entrance of the hospital – he's never been this close to the outside world since he arrived. Bruce keeps glancing back to ensure that Loki is still following him and hasn't run off and offers him a small gentle smile whenever he catches his eye. They stop at the desk and papers are signed and placed into Bruce's bag. A security guard comes and escorts them to their car, Loki's in shock that the press are still around them and still desperate to talk to him. Bruce holds his arm and guides him into the car to remind him that everything's okay and he shouldn't fear them. When trapped in the safeness of the vehicle they make their way to his new home.

**x-x-x**

They pull up outside a rather large house, but it's still nowhere near as big from the one he first come from. _Stark mansion did they call it?_ Loki stares at the house, taking it all in and the world that surrounds it. It's beautiful and well-kept just how he imagined (especially after meeting Frigga). Bruce allows him a few moments to himself before they get out the car. In truth he needs one too. Even though he'll still be visiting and in contact with Loki, he's both sad and proud that he's moving in with his own family. He's helped the lost boy through a lot and has a soft spot for him now; he's dealt with many bad cases in the past but he has never come across someone so vulnerable and _new_ to the world. No one at the hospital thought this would be happening so soon. Tearing his eyes away from the house, Loki looks at Bruce wondering what the next move is going to be.

Bruce gets out of the car and opens Loki's door, helping him step out. He leans against the car as Bruce gets his bag from the back. This is where he'll be living now. Loki hesitantly walks behind Bruce as they make their way to the front door. The doctor's knuckles barely brush against the door when it flings open revealing a very excited and emotional Frigga. They're welcomed inside and shown to the front room where Odin and Thor have been waiting. Thor rushes over to his brother and his about to embrace him when Bruce shuffles between them, knowing Loki still feels uncomfortable with the family. Thor notices and steps back, clasping his brother's shoulder.

"It's good to have you home, brother." He beams and Loki just smiles weakly back. Everyone sits down, with Loki in between Frigga and Bruce on the sofa; Odin in an armchair on the other side of the room and Thor on the floor by his mother, turned to face Loki.

"As I've told you during the phone calls and visits I've made, we're all very pleased with the progress Loki has made and we'll continue to monitor him closely whilst he's here too. If we feel we need to take him out of here and back to the hospital at any point we will do it. If any of you need any help we'll gladly step in but we feel that you guys will be able to cope." Bruce informs them, not wanting them to get their hopes up or lead them to believe that everything is going to be perfect now Loki's living with them. He knows they all understand him but there have been many situations in the past where he was just ignored and things were just made worse.

"That's fine; you do everything you need to. We just want to help Loki and complete our family." Frigga smiles, holding Loki's cool porcelain hand. "We're so pleased you chose to come and live with us. I really hope we can make you happy here." Loki nods, letting her keep hold of his hand.

"I have no doubt that he'll be well cared for here and will be able to keep up with the progress he's already made." Bruce smiles, although that's not strictly true. He believes that Frigga and Thor would do whatever they need to do to please Loki but Odin… He's still not sure about him and his relationship with his abandoned son and will keep a close eye on it. "Do any of you have any questions for me? I should return to the hospital soon…"

"How often will you be visiting?" Odin asks which surprises Bruce.

"Once a week to start with and then they'll become further apart when we feel Loki's more settled but I'll be able to be contacted at any time."

"He'll be fine with us." Thor beams, the smile never seems to leave his face. "I shall make sure of it. I have many plans for the two of us."

The doctor chuckles at his enthusiasm. "Remember to take it slow, Thor. I know you mean well and I'm sure Loki appreciates it but give him a week or so to get used to everything first."

"Of course, Dr Banner! I would not force Loki into anything he doesn't feel comfortable with."

"I know you wouldn't Thor and I'm sure Loki does as well." Loki nods in acknowledgement. He's too distracted by the room, especially all the photos. The photos that he's absent from. Maybe they'll include him in them now. Thor carries on smiling at the response, just happy that he has his brother in his life. Since meeting him he's been a mixture of excited and angry at his parents. "So… Are you okay if I leave you with your family?" He asks Loki.

Loki stares at the doctor for a few moments before nodding again. Bruce stands up taking the papers out of his back and getting Loki's parents to sign them. Before he leaves he speaks more encouraging words to his patient and how he's not being abandoned by him. He can see Loki is still frightened and hesitant about being left alone with people he hardly knows but there's not much he can do about that. The longer he stayed at the hospital the harder it would have been to leave it, this is the best thing for him and he just needs to remind himself of that. Loki watches Bruce drive off and suddenly he feels emotional. A small sniffling sound comes from him as his eyes fill with tears. Frigga notices and pulls him into a gentle hug to try and soothe him. Loki buries his face into her hair and just lets himself be embraced – it's a strange sensation to feel loved.

"Thor, why don't you show your brother to his room? Help him unpack. I'll start dinner." Frigga suggests, removing herself from her new son.

"Come on, brother." Thor says, picking up Loki's bag and guiding him up the stairs with his free hand. Loki can hear Thor talking about the house but he's not taking it in. His mind is going into overdrive now he's officially free of the hospital. He's drowning in emotions that he's not familiar with and all he wants to focus on is just getting through the day without Dr Banner. Bright blue eyes are trained on him waiting for an answer to a question he didn't hear being asked. It's those blue eyes that pause his thoughts for a moment, just long enough for him to realise they're standing in his new room.

"Um… What did you say…?" Loki asks his voice so quiet he doesn't recognise it. Nothing seems right today.

Thor sits on the bed and pats the space next to him as an indication he wants Loki to sit with him; he complies. "Tell me what's wrong."

"There is nothing wrong…"

"Yes there is. I may not know you as well as I would like, yet, but I can still tell something isn't right. You can tell me anything."

How can he tell him? How can he tell him he doesn't know if being with his family is the right thing for him? How can he tell him that a part of him misses the hospital? How can he tell him that he's terrified of living his own life?

"We just want to help." Thor adds.

"Why?"

"Because we're your family and we love you."

"Then why do I still feel alone?"

"You just need to give it a chance, Loki. We'll get you through this and you'll feel part of the family that you belong to." Thor places an arm round his thin, bony shoulders. Loki sighs and just leans into his big brother, struggling to believe there's any truth in those words. Thor decides not to push for anything else and after a few moments he helps Loki unpack putting things where he wants them. Even though he doesn't own much it does take a while to do as Loki tries to make everything perfect for his room. They've just put the last piece of clothing away when Frigga calls up to them to tell them that dinner is ready.

The boys walk into the dining room where the parents are waiting. They sit down opposite them and everyone starts to eat. Thor grumbles a little that his dinner is just a simple pasta dish tonight but he's quickly hushed by Frigga. It doesn't surprise Loki that Odin is still quiet and just eats his meal making as little eye contact with anyone as possible. His behaviour makes Thor feel just as uneasy as Loki. Why is he acting like this? Surely he's pleased that his son has been returned to him? Whenever his eye isn't on his plate it's always greeted by Thor's staring back at him. It starts to irritate him that he can't have dinner without his firstborn still judging him. Their relationship hasn't been the same since he found out about Loki. He'd done everything to make sure Thor came first and would get him ready to take over the business with nothing getting in the way and suddenly it's all starting to go wrong – although it could still be salvaged if he works this to his advantage.

"How do you like your room?" Frigga asks, hating the uncomfortable silence that consumes the room.

"It's nice… Thank you…" Loki replies in between small mouthfuls.

"We could decorate it, if you like. You can choose the paint and furniture." Whilst talking to Dr Banner about having Loki stay with them he mentioned that they should do all they can to try and get Loki to make his own decisions, even if they just start with small things. Loki doesn't know how to respond, he doesn't want to seem ungrateful with what they've already given him.

"It's nice…" He repeats.

"We just want you to feel at home, love." She smiles, "but it's up to you. We need to go to shopping soon to see if there's anything you need or would like now that you're staying here."

"Frigga stop pestering the boy and let him eat. Give him some space." Odin says firmly, getting aggravated by the way his wife is trying too hard to get a response. He knew this would happen but he hoped that it wasn't going to happen so soon; he should still be in the hospital, he shouldn't have been out so soon. A small voice in the back of his head is suggesting to send him back there, although he may not adjust so will end up back there quicker than he arrived.

"I just want to include him."

He doesn't reply and keeps eating. The awkward silence turns tense. Thor tries to fill it by talking to his dad about the business. Loki listens in trying to find out all he can about the man that seems to subtly observe his every move. Over dinner he learns that Odin is an important businessman and Thor is currently training with him so he can take over the business when he's ready and Odin wants to leave. He's not sure what the business is but he's sure that he'll learn it one day, maybe he'll be asked to join Thor in running it. But he doesn't want to get his hopes up; he just wants to please. After a while dinner is finally over and the silence follows them to the living room, only for the TV to ease the tension.

**x-x-x**

It's late when Thor escorts Loki to his room for the night but he's too anxious to sleep; despite being exhausted from the whole experience of the day. Thor doesn't want to leave his brother, even though he refuses to vocalise his fear he can see it written all over his face. It's taking all of his willpower to not ask Thor to stay for just a little while longer; he can't allow himself to start to become dependent on people. That's what Bruce said. Loki goes into the bathroom to get changed for bed and doesn't expect to see Thor sitting on the edge of the bed when he returns. Hesitantly Loki climbs into the bed, careful to keep away from Thor. He doesn't ask for an explanation and his brother doesn't offer one either. Feeling safe and comfortable he lets himself be embraced by a deep sleep. When he's certain that Loki is asleep he leaves as quietly as he can, feeling somewhat proud of himself that Loki is slowly starting to feel comfortable in his presence.


	9. Chapter Eight

**A/N:** Sorry I was unable to post yesterday, I wasn't near my laptop or anything. This story is also on AO3 now and there will be a link on my Tumblr **thefrostedrose**.

**Chapter Eight**

Since Tony had gone to see his father nearly two weeks ago Pepper and Rhodey haven't stopped worrying about him as he won't respond to any texts or phone calls. Rhodey managed to convince Pepper to give Tony his space but now she has had enough. Although it's surprising that Rhodey had got her to wait this long. Pepper made sure that Rhodey would be outside her house 10 o'clock sharp. Unlike Tony, Rhodey is strict when it comes to having a routine – it's how he's always been – so it wasn't a problem to meet Pepper 'so early'. This is why Pepper gets on with James; as much as she loves Tony she can't always rely on him but she can with James (even if he does give into Tony more than he should).

He arrives outside her house a couple of minutes early and sends a text letting her know that he's waiting. Within a matter of seconds Pepper marches out the front door. Her red hair blazing in the morning sun, whilst her light skin is being bathed in it. Rhodey can't help but grin to himself as he watches her bound towards him. She gets into the car and he drives off. Pepper's unusually quiet as she sits next to him in the car. _She's probably practising the speech she's prepared to lecture Tony with_; he can't help but chuckle at the thought.

"What?" She asks and her brows dip closer together in confusion.

"Nothing." Rhodey replies, still smiling.

"No, what is it?" She finds herself smiling back, she always finds herself smiling back at him.

"Just wondering what you're going to say or shout at Tony…"

"Oh, I have plenty I want to say to him, so don't you dare interrupt me!"

"Wouldn't dream of it, Pep." He smirks.

"You must be learning, James." She challenges, smirking back.

"Remember to let him explain himself first. You know what it's like when he has encounters with his father… They never end well and we'll be lucky if he's somewhat sober…"

"If he's drunk then I'm definitely not going to go easy on him. I know how much his dad can hurt him but we can't keep being gentle with him. How has he managed to get you wrapped round his little finger? You never used to be like this. There was a time when you were worse than me."

"Hey, I don't think I was ever that bad." He chuckles, "after having him live with me when all this was kicking off I've seen how much this really affects him… How hard it's all been for him and going in shouting and screaming at him isn't going to help him."

"James, I've been dealing with him for years. Being soft doesn't always work with him. Yes, I'll listen to him but I'm not going to pull any punches."

**x-x-x**

They get to Tony's house and it seems like there's no life inside it. Then again, it's still early morning for Tony, especially if he's nursing a hangover. Since he's been back on his own Rhodey made him promise to give him a spare key in case of emergencies. He was reluctant to hand it over at first knowing that they'll be able to walk in at any time, however Pepper managed to wear him down and in the end he gave it to them, making them promise to give in some warning. In their defence, they've been threatening to visit Tony all week so that can be considered as a warning – it's not their fault if he didn't bother to read his messages. To be polite and give him a chance they knock on the door, repeatedly and as loud as possible. As they expected they were greeted with silence and no one came to the door.

After making sure that they weren't going to be allowed in by Tony they made their own way in. It was eerie how silent the house was, it was far too big for Tony to stay in alone but he refused to have either of them living there with him whilst all this was going on. Quietly and quickly they go to the living room to find all the alcohol that's usually stashed there gone, worried for their friends health they rush to his bedroom only to find it empty with random bottles scattered all over the floor. Pepper looks at Rhodey in despair, _what has Tony been doing to himself?_ Without thinking or talking they run around the mansion trying to find their broken friend.

The basement is the last place they think to check.

Pepper's heart sinks to her stomach when they find Tony curled up on the bed, bottles thrown everywhere and his eyes glued to the laptop screen in front of him. Around him on the bed are random sheets of paper filled with his shaky, messy markings – the way all of his notes are. Pepper's always amazed that he can find any of them remotely useful. _Why would he want to be here? Of all the rooms in the house why is he in here? How long has he been here? _Cautiously they walk towards him and sit either side of the bed, careful not to disturb the papers. Rhodey glances over them and the one pattern he notices is that near enough the entire one's he looks at has "Loki" written on them.

"What the hell have you been doing to yourself?! What are you doing now?! Why have you been ignoring us when we're trying to help you?!" Pepper screeches, unable to control herself and simply ignoring Rhodey's pleading eyes. There's no answer, he doesn't even turn to look at her and keeps writing notes from what he sees on the screen and occasionally checking his phone for updates of some kind. "So you have been getting our messages then? Didn't you think it would be a good idea to reply?!"

Once again there's no reply. No acknowledgement. Nothing.

"ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!" She grabs his chin and forces him to look at her. The red head's anger seems to fade away when she looks into his eyes. They're so crazed yet lost, or is it desperation that she sees? "Stop shutting us out… What's happened to you? Why are you down here?" Her voice is much calmer now.

"This is where he kept him locked up…" Tony replies, his words slurring slightly in his mouth. "This was where Loki was for eighteen years and I didn't even fucking notice. How could I not have noticed?" His eyes start to glaze over.

"Tony no one did, we've been over this, it's not your fault." Rhodey sighs, reminding him.

"Yes it is. It's all my fault." Tony growls.

"No, Tony, no. How is this your fault?" Pepper asks, her voice full of worry and concern for the drunken genius that's slightly leaning on her, losing his balance.

"Howard told me himself."

"What do you mean he told you himself? What's he said? I knew he had something to do with it." Pepper's voice becoming slightly high pitched as she tries, and struggles, to maintain her calmness. What's his father done this time?

"He told me why he did it. Why he felt it was so important." Tony barks out a bitter laugh, "he wanted to create the _perfect_ son. The son he knew I'd _never_ be. He distanced himself from me because he didn't want anything to do with me. He didn't want to be associated with the fuck up he knew I'd become."

Pepper stares at Tony, mouth wide open. Realising that she's not done anything or said anything she pulls him towards her fully and embraces him. Rhodey rubs Tony's back trying to comfort him, not really knowing what to do. Something lurches in Tony's stomach when he does, he makes a start for the bathroom but he doesn't reach it before he's sick. Pepper's nose wrinkles in disgust as she looks away at Rhodey. He sighs watching his friend crumble to the floor.

"We need to get him cleaned up and sobered up…" Rhodey instructs, standing up and trying to help Tony back onto his feet.

**x-x-x**

Time passes and they manage to bathe and put Tony in some new clothes, by this time he's started to think more clearly. They force coffee into his system to wake him up, causing him to completely spill the story of what happened when he went to the prison. His oldest friends sit there in shock as the words leave his lips. Everyone that was close to the Stark's knew how Howard treated Tony, so Tony doesn't understand why they're so surprised at what he said. Thinking about it he doesn't know why he was so surprised at what he said. He can see them processing the information that he's just told them and can almost feel the sadness radiating off of Pepper. Rhodey can too and he places his arm around her protectively.

"So what are you going to do…? What have you been doing…?" She asks, quietly and confused.

Tony sighs, debating whether he should tell them or not. Maybe they could help him? He was Tony Stark he didn't need help… But he's never done anything like this before. "I'm going to find him."

"Find who…? You don't mean-?"

"Yes, I do. I want to find Loki. The press have been tipped off that he'll be out shopping in town at the end of the week, so I'm going to go then. I have his parents address but it'd be weird if I just turned up on the doorstep."

"How do you know the press have been tipped off?" This time it was Rhodey questioning him.

"I've been working on intercepting their calls and messages, it's quite easy really." He shrugs as though it was a usual thing. Although this has been the norm for Tony since everything came out in the open, he's been doing _everything_ possible to get as much information as he can.

"Tony, you know you shouldn't be doing that." Pepper scolds. "Why do you want to find him anyway? Your father was the one that locked him up; he won't want to see you."

"I want to fix what Howard broke. I feel like I should be the one to put it right, I mean it was my fault anyway so… It's the right thing to do. And I know he won't want to see me, that's why I'm not going to scare him off by telling him. I just want to see for myself that he's okay."

"Tony you shouldn't do this… You should just leave him alone. This could hurt you both. What if he isn't ready to see you and you just make it worse, and then you feel worse because of it? This just… This really isn't a good idea…"

"You know she's right, man." Rhodey says backing up Pepper. Sometimes Tony feels bad for Rhodey, he's always caught in the middle of both of them. It's painfully obvious to Tony that he loves Pepper so he's always trying to support her and impress her… But he's also known Tony since they were children and has a loyalty to him that he doesn't have to many others. He has his back and Tony knows that and tries to do the same for him… Even though he's not always the first person that comes to mind when you need someone to rely on.

"I really need to do this, I don't think you understand. I need to talk to him, to find out he's okay, to help him. It's my duty to do this. I won't be happy until I've done this, so if you want me to get my act together or whatever then you'll let me do this."

Rhodey sighs and Tony can tell that his plea has worked and he's got him back on side. "This really means a lot to you doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does. I _really_ need to do this and you know how I get when I really want to do something. You either help me, and support me, with this or you just leave me to it. I'll just do it either way."

"Alright, Tony… I'm not exactly happy with this but… I'd rather know what you're doing and what you're planning and try to help than to have you do it behind our backs without consulting us at all. So I suppose you have my support in this."

"James! How can you let him do this? You know I'm right!" Pepper whines.

"Pepper we all know that it doesn't matter what we say, what speech you had prepared, he'll still do this. Look at all those notes in the basement, he's hacking police files and intercepting press tip offs, this clearly means a lot to him and nothing will stop him from talking to this guy. Who knows this could be closure that this Loki kid needs?" Rhodey reasons with her.

She glares at Rhodey and huffs; she knows there's no winning an argument with them especially when they're like this. "Fine, fine. But if this all goes wrong don't say that I didn't warn you. If you damage him more Tony, he won't ever forgive you or your father."

"I'm not doing this because I want him to forgive Howard. That bastard doesn't deserve it. I told you I'm doing this because I want to. I'm curious as to how he's turned out, whether he is the perfect son that Howard would have wanted. I just feel like I should help even though I shouldn't…"

"It's kind of… Sick, that you want to check out the, um, competition." Rhodey points out. If he was in the same position he'd hate the guy, knowing that he was everything his father wanted and couldn't find in him. He wouldn't be able to face him let alone want to help him. Many people mistake Tony thinking he's selfish and egotistical, which he is, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have heart. It's the part of Tony that's usually just reserved for them, the side that's hidden from the press and the pointless one night stands. The fact he wants to share this private part of himself that no one else really sees makes him feel jealous; him and Pepper have worked for years for this Tony and suddenly he wants to offer it to his replacement.

Pepper doesn't see it this way, she's not happy with what he wants to do but a part of her is proud of Tony. He's finally starting to grow up and think of other people, not just himself, her and Rhodey. She's just worried that he'll open himself up to try and help this guy get into the world and end up getting hurt himself. Whenever he gets hurt or thinks he's failed he retreats and hides, wanting to forget about it and then quickly move onto the next project. The genius has never been the type of person to give up easily but the more he tries with this kid the more he'll get pushed away and the worse he'll feel at the end of it.

"It's not sick. I'm just curious and want to be helpful. What's wrong with me wanting to be a good person?"

"You mean, what's wrong with you wanting to prove to the world you're not like your dad?" Pepper corrects him.

Big brown eyes stare at her for a while before interrupting the silence with, "is that still so bad…?"

"You don't have to prove yourself to anyone and you know that."

"Yes, I do, Pep. Now I know you don't approve, but you gotta let me do this. Just let me show Loki that not everyone's like the monster that locked him away. I know neither of you believe me when I say this but you need to trust me, I know what I'm doing."

A defeated breath escapes Pepper's lips and a large dark hand clasps hers. It's the last they speak on the matter, giving Tony a chance to prove himself. Something that his father never let him do.


	10. Chapter Nine

**A/N:** I'm so, so pleased with the response that I've got from this story - I've reached 100 followers! :D Well this is the chapter you've all been waiting for so enjoy! :) And Happy Late Valentine's Day!

**Chapter Nine**

Loki's been at his family's house for around a week now and things still seem the same to him. Dr Banner visited yesterday and seems to be happy with where Loki is and still firmly believes this is the best thing for him. This makes Loki feel slightly more comfortable, he seems to be doing something right if Bruce isn't worried or wants to take him back to the hospital. Then again, he found himself hoping that maybe Bruce would take him back. The Odinson's have been doing everything they can to try and get Loki out of his shell, only gently pushing him. Today they're going to try something different. They have had this planned all week, it's nothing much to them but it'll be a huge step for Loki and they all know this. Loki has known about it since they decided to do it and he likes that they're not keeping him in the dark and giving him a chance to decide for himself.

Thor gently knocks on Loki's door. Since he's had his brother staying there he has started to become as soft as his heart – he has to be careful around Loki, he's not used to Thor's strength. Thor enters the room when he hears Loki's permission and sees him in his usual position, reading on the bed.

"Mother wants to know if you're ready to go out today?" He asks carefully, not wanting to upset him.

Loki stares up at Thor blankly, is that the day already? Do they want him to go out now? Bruce did say it was up to him but didn't realise it would be this soon. After what he's been through he's not used to having to keep track of the days. He would just drift along doing whatever he was told to do. When he doesn't answer, Thor steps closer to the bed and repeats the question in the same gentle tone.

"Um…"

"We'll all be with you… It's still quite early so it shouldn't be too busy… And we'll leave whenever you want to. But if you don't want to go we'll understand." He reassures, smiling.

"Um… How long would we be-?"

"Not long, Dr Banner stressed to us that the first few times you venture outside shouldn't be long. But it all depends on how you feel, brother."

Loki nods and thinks for another moment before replying, "…okay."

He didn't think it was possible for the smile on his blonde brother's face to get any bigger but somehow he managed it. A large hand clamps down on his knee and is squeezed in approval. A small smile forms on Loki's face, it's hard not to when his brother's happiness is so infectious. It's nothing like he's ever experienced before. He didn't know it was possible to find people like this outside of his books; although he's sure that he will find plenty others who are similar or completely new to him too.

"Come, mother is waiting downstairs for us."

"Okay… I'll be down in a minute."

Thor goes downstairs ahead of his cautious brother. He tells his parents of Loki's decision, Frigga is delighted and Odin can't mask his surprise, but he seems pleased all the same… Relieved, even. When Loki walks into the living room Frigga pulls him into a hug, she's the only person he seems to accept an embrace from, whispering words of how proud she is of him. Even though he's been out of the room for a while, surrounded by people who claim to have his best interests at heart, it's still hard for him to hear the encouraging words that he's given. How is he supposed to react to them? Is a 'thank you' enough or too ungrateful? He just nods and hugs back, allowing them to slowly guide him to the car. Thor sits in the back with him, he watches him throughout the car ride – Loki is too busy looking out of the window, absorbing everything on the outside to notice. It's not until he realises that he's been staring at the same scene for the past few seconds that the car has stopped and they've arrived.

"Are you ready, darling?" Frigga asks, turning to look at him.

"Yes…"

She smiles and they all get out of the car. They walk with Loki sandwiched in between Frigga and Thor to keep him calm. His family thinks that the only emotion he feels right now is terror but they're wrong; the fact that he's outside in the real world thrills him as well as scares him. If he didn't have that curiosity or excitement within him then he would never have left the hospital; he would have put up more of a fight when they were trying to get him to leave the room. He's only read about shops in books or seen them on TV and even then you don't really see much of it, the whole concept of shopping is completely new and somewhat bizarre to him. Seeing so many people in one building is also fascinating to him.

They take him into a clothes shop, even though Bruce bought him some things it was just the basics. He doesn't know where to start and a lot of things on the rails all seem like the same thing with just a slight variation. Loki finds himself peering at the tags, even though he's unsure as to how much things should be it still feels expensive to him. His family have told him not to worry about that as they don't worry about things like that, but he can't help it – he feels as though he's a burden as it is no matter how much they tell him otherwise. Studying the rails he makes faces at some of the items, Thor laughs when he notices.

"What's wrong?" He asks his grimacing brother.

"There are people that would actually pay to wear these garments?" Loki replies, not bothering to hide the disgusted shocked tone in his voice.

Thor can't help but laugh more; "yes there are, brother. And I happen to quite like this shirt." He jokes pulling it off the rail and holding it up against him.

"That doesn't shock me… Some of the things I've seen you wander the house in are appalling."

"Listen to you, only been out in the real world for a week and you think you're a fashion expert." Thor chuckles, innocently teasing him as brothers would. It isn't until Loki is silent again when he realises what he says. He sighs, "brother I didn't-"

"No… No you're right… It is amusing I have much better taste than you and you've been around for a lot longer." He smirks, trying to gain the upper hand in this situation. Loki has been vulnerable and under the power of others for far too long. Maybe being part of the real world will help him gain control of his own life rather than him lose it completely.

"We'll see about that after this shopping trip." Thor smirks back, relieved that he hadn't upset or offended his brother.

Frigga and Odin watch the boys continue to spar with their words. Neither of them can believe how Loki is beginning to thrive there – Odin can't help but feel slightly disappointed that he won't be able to send him back to the hospital, but he reminds himself a relapse is always possible. He reminds his wife of this fact too, not wanting her to get her hopes up and then have them shattered before her. The memory of when they gave Loki to Howard present when he does so; he couldn't bear to see his wife so broken but he put up with it, convinced that it was going to be the best thing for all of them in the long term.

They continue to go from one shop to another, collecting various items as they do. It was strange for them to see Loki with more confidence outside the home than inside. The centre has start to become busier so Loki's sureness starts to decrease again; he makes it so both Frigga and Thor are closer to him like they were at the beginning to shield him. Walking round the corner they're suddenly confronted with an army of cameras and reporters. Loki freezes and grips Thor's wrist as his mother pulls him to her. They start advance on them and Odin starts talking to them, answering some of their various questions. The information he gives them isn't enough for them and they start attack Loki with their questions instead. It all becomes too much for him, all these people demanding so much from him. His breathing becomes uneven and he starts shaking violently.

Without another thought he runs.

He tears himself away from his family and runs.

Despite his unsteady, yet long, legs he covers a lot of distance of the shopping centre in a short space of time. Thor, being well built and very athletic, isn't far behind him; desperate to catch up and reassure him that everything's going to be okay. Loki's sight is blurred by tears and his mind is too busy to concentrate on everything around him. He doesn't notice Thor chasing after him; he doesn't notice all the ignorant shoppers around them watching the scene unfold and he doesn't notice the slightly shorter man directly in his path. It takes him a few minutes to realise that he's no longer standing, aching from the impact and sprawled across the man that got in the way.

"I wasn't expecting that." The goateed guy groans beneath Loki.

Loki's too distressed and disorientated to reply or even move. He can't stop the tears from falling anymore. He can feel the man wriggle beneath him as he tries to sit up; deep brown eyes staring at him wondering what's wrong. That's when the man notices this is who he's been looking for. Thor kneels down beside them and pulls Loki to him, apologising to the stranger half sitting on the floor.

**x-x-x**

It was the earliest that Tony had woken up all week and one of the few days that he woke up without a hangover or instantly reaching for a bottle. This was the day he has been waiting for; after the tip off the press received earlier that week he knew the Odinson's would be making a shopping trip to the local mall. This was his first opportunity to meet Loki or even see him, he knows there may be other times he'll be able to but he doesn't know how many tip offs the press will get regarding a young Odinson. Despite his disapproval he's managed to get Rhodey involved with helping him – what Pepper doesn't know won't hurt her. Tony just finishes getting dressed when he gets a text from Rhodey telling him to open the door. When he lets his best friend in they go straight to the living room.

"Right, I've got into the mall's security system so you can watch the cameras. When you find him tell me where he is, okay?" He takes a photo out of a folder he has sitting on the coffee table. "This is what he looks like."

"Wow… Why are you going to such lengths for this kid?" Rhodey asks, he's not seen Tony like this about something that isn't science or mechanics related.

"Rhodey, we've been over this." He sighs, getting frustrated about having to answer the same question over and over.

"I know, I know but I still don't get it…"

"Look, Howard ruined his life. He ruined mine too but that doesn't matter, I'm the asshole's kid. I just need to help him, I can't get you to understand why so just deal with it and let me help him."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop asking. So that's all you want me to do? Watch the screens for your new best friend?"

"Yes. Now quit complaining about it. I'll be back in time for your date with Pepper." Tony teases, grinning at him.

"It's not a date, we asked you if you wanted to come but you're too busy developing your stalker skills."

"Whatever you say and I'm not stalking him, stalking is when you hide in the bushes outside the house and breathe down the phone to him, I'm just interested. Right, I better head down there." He says putting his shoes on and checking to make sure he has his phone and keys. "Keep me updated!" He calls as he leaves the house.

**x-x-x**

Once he's there he sits in the car park for a while, watching to see if he can see them walk in or out of the mall. His phone has been silent since he set off, Rhodey must not have found him yet which means he's either very unobservant or he hasn't arrived yet. A text finally comes through saying that he's in the mall with his family. Now certain that he's in there, Tony gets out of his car and makes his way into the shopping centre. Like a man on a mission he marches round trying to find him or at least the shop he's in so it'll be easier to strike up a casual conversation. He's been so determined to just get to the same place at the same time as Loki but he hadn't given much thought as to what he would actually say when he met him. Introducing him as the son of the guy that had him locked up for eighteen years wasn't a good idea; he had to be friendly but not _too_ friendly, he didn't want it to look like he was hitting on him. Would he even notice? It's not that it's ever happened before… No. No flirting.

AC/DC blares from his pocket, bringing him back to the real world. "Hello?"

"I can see you." Rhodey announces.

"That's nice and you said I was a stalker?" He chuckles, still walking and looking around.

"You're on the wrong floor. By the way he has this big blonde bodyguard type person with him. How are you going to deal with that one?"

"That's his brother; I've told you this before. Do you ever listen to me?" Tony asks, faking a melodramatic tone.

"That's his _brother_? That can't be right, they're like complete opp-"

"Yeah but they grew up in very different environments. So I need to go on the bottom floor, is that what you wanted to tell me or do you miss me already?"

"Basically and to warn you of the brother. I'll let you know if anything else happens."

"Thanks, man." Tony hangs up and makes his way to the floor below.

Even though he's read the reports, old and new, many times he's never doubted that his family wasn't his family. Loki doesn't look like any of them yet they seemed happy enough to welcome him back into the family as if there's nothing different. Thinking about it, it would make more sense if he wasn't theirs – who would give up their child to something like that? He's not sure how much he believes them when they say they didn't know about the experiment; then again either way they gave their child away to a mad man.

As he walks along the ground floor he peers into every shop he thinks they'd go in. How can it be so difficult to find one, tall, dark hair in one building? Especially one accompanied by a blonde godlike man as well as his parents. Tony doesn't know how long he has been at the mall, or how long Loki has been there but it's starting to get busy so he assumes they'll be leaving soon. Sighing he sits down on an empty bench trying a different approach, instead of chasing him he'll just wait to see if the Odinson's come to him. If he's going to be waiting he's going to need a coffee. He spots a Starbucks nearby and makes his way towards it, thinking about what coffee he desires. The sober genius is almost there, the bitter coffee aroma getting stronger, when his phone rings again.

"Got some good news for me?" Tony grumbles, slightly annoyed that Rhodey is coming between him and his coffee.

"There's a situation. He's still on the same floor but heading towards another car park, there's a gang of press waiting there for them… Oh shit they've seen them; this isn't going to end well. Keep walking forward and follow the shops round, be quick otherwise they'll leave before you get a chance to see them." Rhodey says quickly, as much as he didn't want to get involved or for Tony to he still wants it to end well for him.

"Alright, thanks, I'll make my way down there." He hangs up on his friend once again and goes down the route he tells him. His body groaning in disappointment as they walk past Starbucks without going in.

Tony tries to walk fast without drawing any attention to himself which is difficult because of the Stark name. People are starting to notice him and call his name to get his attention or to get in his bed. If he wasn't so busy or distracted with his own plan he probably would have let them succeed in their goal. Even though his focus is on finding Loki he can't help but be momentarily side-tracked by a leggy platinum blonde girl who's screaming his name. He looks over his shoulder and smirks at her. Surely he has time to quickly grab her number? It's not as though she's playing hard to get nor needs a little persuasion. Before he can fully turn his body round to pursue her, something hard crashes into him, pushing him to the floor.

"I wasn't expecting that." He groans, trying to pull himself into a sitting position so he can see what had happened.

His eyes turn on the man lying on top of him, whimpers and tears coming from him. The man was thin and pale, with a mop of ebony hair and piercing green eyes. He's done it, he's found Loki. The press must have scared him or the whole experience was just overwhelming, Tony can't imagine what it must be like for the boy. Beside them the blonde guy, who he finally remembers is Thor, is kneeling reeling off apologies at the same time as trying to comfort his brother who is just repeating that he wants to go home.

"It's fine, really. I was hoping to end up on my back today just didn't think it'd be like this." Tony jokes, trying to lighten the mood although it went unnoticed. "Um, I can give you two a lift home if you want?"

"Don't worry about it, our parents will drive us back." Thor replies, politely denying the offer.

"I'm not going back that way! I want to get out! I want to go home! I don't want to be near them!" Loki shouts, gripping Thor's shirt, trying to steady himself.

"Honestly it's not a problem, my car's in another car park, I can take you home if you want."

"Um… Yeah, okay. I just need to get him back as quickly as possible." Thor gives in, he just wants to protect his brother and make everything better for him. They were doing so well with the shopping and talking but because of the insensitive journalists they're back where they started.

Both Thor and Tony help Loki up and take him to the car. The brothers too upset with what's happened to notice the 'Stark 2' number plates. When they're in the car, Thor sitting with Loki in the back to keep him calm, Thor gives Tony their address and the car roars as it comes to life.


	11. Chapter Ten

**A/N:** Just replying to **EverAnon** here, there will be a **small spoiler** as to what's going to be happening towards the end of the fic so if you don't want to see it, just ignore this! Anyway… All of your points are going to be addressed nearer the end of the fic in the later chapters; the police are constantly working whilst this is all taking place and they will be making an appearance, Loki's adoption and why what his parents did have been ignored/covered will also be addressed around here too (also I've chosen to write Odin as quite a manipulative character so you need to be careful around him)! There will be a trial at some point which is where I plan to tie up a lot of loose ends. If even then there's something I've not done let me know as I'm considering writing a one shot or two for this AU after the story is over depending on ideas I have and if I have time to write them :) Also thanks for your review (and thanks everyone else!) and I'm very pleased you're enjoying it! I hope I wrap up everything well for you :D

Now onto the main event… :)

**Chapter Ten**

It doesn't take long to reach the Odinson's house and Loki has started to calm down from the confrontation with the press. They sit outside the house in the car for a while until he's finally ready to let go of Thor's arm and be exposed to the outside. Tony doesn't interfere, he just watches with a sick feeling assaulting his stomach now he's finally getting a glimpse of his dad's work first-hand. He didn't think he could get any angrier with Howard but now he's seen Loki he knows he is wrong. What makes it worse is the fact all reports say he's progressed, that he's got better… If this is Loki better then he hates to imagine what he was like before.

"Would you like to come in for a coffee…? It looked like you were about to go into Starbucks before this happened… It's the least we can do." Thor suggests.

"Oh I wasn't going… Actually, yeah, a coffee would be great." Tony corrects, smiling at the offer. This is the opening he wanted and he's not going to let it go now.

Thor nods and they get out of the car, although Loki needs a little bit of coaxing beforehand. They stand by the door as Thor fishes around in his pocket for the keys; Loki stands slightly behind him with Tony and watches him, confused as to why a stranger would show any kindness or interest. At least with the doctor's and police he knew it was because it was their job. Tony can feel inquisitive green eyes on him and he responds with a gentle smile. He's shown into the living room, he sits on one end of the sofa whilst Loki sits on the other, bringing his knees close to his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible.

"How would you like your coffee?" Thor asks, although his eyes are focused on his brother.

"Just black will be fine." Tony replies, flashing his press worthy smile back at him.

"Would you like anything, brother?"

"…Water, please…" In hushed tones.

With his orders Thor leaves the room, although a little hesitant to leave his broken brother alone with a man who's not even told them his name. Tony sits there uncomfortably; it's not often that Tony Stark struggles to find something to say. He doesn't want to make the situation any more awkward or unbearable for Loki as it was. His eyes finally turn to look at Loki, even though he's surprised to find Loki staring back it's not unnerving or unwelcome for him. When the genius finally succeeds in thinking of something to say his older brother is back in the room with two mugs and a glass of ice cold water.

"Thanks big guy." Tony says, as the mug is placed in his hands. He takes a sip of the refreshing bitter beverage and watches Thor as he sits in a chair by his brother so he can observe them both. "I'm Tony by the way."

"I'm Thor, this is my brother Loki." Thor replies nodding in Loki's direction. "Thanks for your help, things have been… Hard for my brother recently…"

"Yeah, I've seen the story on the news. Thought it'd be better if I helped rather than someone else, whose intentions may not have been as good as mine. Although my friends would say my intentions are usually far from innocent." He chuckles; humour is his defence mechanism against awkward situations which this was turning into.

"You've heard…?" Loki asks, eyes growing wide. Why does everyone _know_ his business? Why does everyone _want_ to know his business? Do they get some kind of sick pleasure from hearing about his suffering? He fears he'll never be understand this world that had been kept from him for so long. A part of him realises why they wanted to keep him locked up, things were easier and kinder, depending on how you looked at it.

"Sure, the whole country has heard, it's all over the news. Everyone's talking about you, you're practically famous." Tony grins. Surely he knew how much of a problem all this was? How exciting this was to the public? Everyone loves a scandal these days, Tony's experienced this first hand, he's been the focus of many of them himself. Although since this all came out he's been trying to keep a low profile, which isn't very hard when his goals are mainly to get drunk in the basement every day.

"Why can't they just leave me alone?! When I was taken from there, they said people were going to help me! How can this be helpful? Don't they understand what they're doing?!" Loki shouts in frustration and glares when a small giggle escapes Tony's lips. "Is something humorous to you?! How dare you sit here and laugh an-!"

"No! No, I'm not laughing at what they're doing. I'm just surprised you have an accent. How has that happened?"

"I… I don't-" Loki knew he was different from his family but it was starting to become apparent as to how different he really was.

"His doctor says it's come from the TV shows he grew up watching, a lot of them were English. It's not really stated why." Thor answers for him. He's pleased that he's able to talk to a stranger, confront one even, but he can't just lash out at him like that.

"Ah, right. Sorry if I offended you there." Tony says before he really thinks. Did he just apologise? He _never_ apologises. Well that's not strictly true, he'll apologise if Pepper forces him to.

"It's okay; he's just a bit… Overwhelmed today."

"Shopping trip didn't go well, huh?"

"It started off well…"

"So what happened?" Tony asks he's never been one to dance around an issue. If he wants to know something he'll ask no matter how inappropriate the situation is.

Thor hesitates before answering, why is he so interested? Then again he has helped them… He does deserve some kind of explanation. "We were just going to one last shop, just to get some food. We went round the corner and there were loads of reporters shouting at us."

"The press are annoying little bastards. They'll get bored soon; find a new scandal to sink their fangs into." Tony shrugs, drinking more of his coffee. "So what do you think? Is the world living up to your expectations?"

Loki stares at him, taken aback by his directness. "It's different."

Tony chuckles, "yeah I'd be disappointed too. I mean you've been waiting to see the outside for so long you expect it to be perfect but then you realise it's the complete opposite. Am I right? What a stupid question, I'm always right."

"Is everyone in this world as arrogant as you?" Loki inquires, the corner of his mouth gently tugging up into a smirk.

"There is no one in this world as awesome as me."

"Is that what you think it is?"

"You're surprisingly quick for someone who's had no interaction with people for pretty much your whole life." Tony comments, he must admit that he's impressed. Not many people can respond to him without missing a beat.

"Take care of what you say to my brother." Thor growls, instantly rushing to his brother's defence, although Tony doesn't think Loki needs to be rescued. He's got a bite of his own; he just needs more confidence and practice using it.

"I meant in it a good way." Tony protests, "he just surprises me as I'm sure he does you. I'm just not afraid to point it out like some people."

Loki watches Tony with a sense of curiosity. How can a stranger understand he doesn't want to be treated like a china doll when his family can't? He knows they feel guilty and are trying to make it up to him by treating him with kindness, which he appreciates, but from time to time he just wants to be treated as though he's a functioning human just like the rest of them. After what happened shopping today he knows that it's going to take longer for his family to realise this; to them he's still their broken little boy.

"We're doing everything we can to care for him." Thor says, his voice starting to raise.

"I'm sure you are, big guy. But I'm pretty certain he won't break at the first sign of sarcasm."

Before Thor can retaliate they can hear the front door open and slam shut. Voices get louder as they get closer to the living room; the worry in Frigga's voice is clear whereas Odin is maintaining his usual indifference. She gasps in relief and drops the bags she was holding when they enter the room and see their sons sitting in there. Maternal instincts take over as she rushes over and holds Loki to her. Tony averts his eyes, knowing Loki will be uncomfortable with the gesture even if no one else was in the room. His eyes settle on Odin, who's just observing the scene between his family members, no emotion is found on his face. Until his distant grey eye lands on Tony.

"Who are you?" Odin asks the stranger sitting on his sofa, his eye narrowing as he judges him.

"I'm Tony; I gave Thor and Loki a lift home from the mall."

Odin stares at Tony and he can see the cogs turning in his mind. Worried he'll be exposed he stands up and finds a piece of paper which he scribbles his number on. He holds it out to Loki who cautiously takes it from him.

"Let me know if you need anything; whether it's ride somewhere, an intelligent conversation…" He smirks and Loki nods in gratitude, not entirely sure if he wants to take the number.

"Thank you for helping them, Thor probably explained the situation, it's been tough recently." Frigga smiles softly, a smile that reminded Tony of his mother. He's not thought about his mother for a while…

"S'no problem. I better get going. Nice meeting you all." Tony says rushing to get out the house and back into his car.

Even after Tony's left Frigga holds her son again, tighter than before. Thor watches, his eyes slipping to the piece of paper that's in his brothers hand. He's pleased that he's been able to talk to someone he's never met before and just as calmly as Loki was talking him not a few hours before. Tony could be helpful for his social interaction but he isn't sure that he wants Loki picking up any of his habits or even be in his presence. To be honest he wanted to be the one to get his brother to recover, not some self-obsessed stranger that would be a bad influence on him. The way his father was watching Tony he knows that he's right, Odin didn't approve either which means his judgement isn't completely unsupported.

"Frigga what have I told you? Let the boy breathe." Odin sighs in frustration, if this boy is going to carry his name he doesn't want him being soft or dependent. His name has lost respect enough from the whole incident as it is.

"He's had a frightening experience." She protests, keeping Loki pressed against her.

"Yes and he's survived and was willingly in the company of a boy he's never met. You fret too much, woman." His wife reluctantly lets go of the black haired boy and he notices him relax once he's out of her grip.

"What was that boy's name again?" Frigga asks no one in particular, so she was surprised when it was Loki who answered.

"Tony."

"Yes that's right, he looks familiar but I just can't think why… Well when he next comes over I'll have to ask him. I'm sure I know him from somewhere…"

"What do you mean when he next comes over?" Odin asks his annoyance resurfacing. He doesn't want that kid back in his house. Something doesn't seem right with the whole situation, from the many years he's been alive and in business he knows that no one does something without getting something out of it themselves.

"Well he wouldn't have given the boys his number if he wasn't interested in hanging out with them. We could invite him round for dinner to say thank you for what he did."

"He probably did what he did to get his face on the news. Stop interfering. If they want to talk to him it's up to them but don't go forcing them to make friends with perfect strangers just because you think it's the right thing to do." He growls and leaves the room, not wanting another word to be spoken about.

Loki looks from the doorway where Odin was standing to his mother. Her eyes cast to the floor and her lips pulled into a thin line. Is that how people treated the ones they loved? Ever since he's been in the house he's not seen Odin been affectionate to any of them and recently he's become harsher to his wife. Loki can't understand it, surely if you love someone you do everything you can to please them? So they can accept you and love you back. He doesn't doubt that he loves her, deep down, but he's starting to see how he's hurting her through it and despite only knowing her for a short space of time he doesn't think she deserves to be treated like that. At least she's trying to make an effort. Odin's hardly shown any remorse towards him for what happened. Maybe he doesn't feel guilty. Maybe he doesn't care.

Thor must have seen it too because now he's seated on the sofa with them holding his mother's hand. Such a small action seems to lift her spirits miles high as her usual smile is back on her face as she looks at her eldest son. What they have, that's what Loki always believed love was – the thing he read about in books and saw in the films he was allowed to watch. Maybe it is a rare thing or it just deteriorates over time.

"We appreciate everything you do for us mother, you know that. Father's just angry that his day was ruined." Thor reassures her.

"I know darling, I know. But your father is right… I should give you both space from time to time. You are adults after all, even if you still are my babies." The blonde doesn't respond with words but with a hug which she happily accepted. Loki just sits on the edge and takes in the moment he witnesses between the mother and her son. This is what he's been missing out on for his whole life. After the embrace she clears her throat and stands up. "I'm going to make you boys some lunch; we've had a busy morning."

As much as he wants to be approved by Odin he wants to make his mother happy too. Loki glances down at the crumpled piece of paper in his hand. Perhaps he should make more of an effort with others to please her; to show that he was also appreciative of what she does for him. His long fingers neatly fold the piece of paper and he puts it in his pocket. Thor's about to comment on the action when he's interrupted by their mother informing them their food is ready. They go to the dining room and eat. Everything that happened previous to the meal isn't mentioned for the rest of the day.


	12. Chapter Eleven

**A/N:** Bit of a filler chapter but soonish I believe the chapters start to get longer :) The ones I've written recently (around the 20's) they're mainly around 4000 words :D Enjoy!

**Chapter Eleven**

Since Rhodey told Pepper that Tony had made contact with Loki all she's wanted to do is to find out how it went. Despite her disapproving of the whole thing she still wants to be told every detail and be updated. It's the day after the mall incident and still neither of them has heard from Tony, they've tried calling him but as always there's no response (although he has been checking his phone every five minutes in the hope Loki took him up on his offer and messaged him). Impatience getting the better of them and they give up with waiting for him to return their calls and decide to take matters into their own hands (which they seem to be doing a lot lately). The only difference today is when they turn up at his house he actually answers the door straight away without them having to force their way in. Once they're settled in the living room Pepper's interrogation starts.

"So what happened? Why haven't you been answering your calls? You didn't bring him back here did you? Did you sleep with him? Oh God, Tony! How could you be so stupid?!" The volume of her voice increases, as does the pitch when she gets carried away with herself and all the possible outcomes that could have happened. After not getting any responses last night she's had time to think of all the worst case scenarios.

"Jesus, Pep, no I haven't slept with him! I'm not _that_ bad. But speaking of sleeping around, how did your date go?" He smirks, teasing them both and starts laughing when Pepper's cheeks are tinted pink.

"The date went fine. Now answer my questions." She replies, folding her arms across her chest.

Tony ignores the deliberate change in posture; "just fine? Rhodey, that doesn't sound like a very good review. I think you either need to take some classes with me or have a word with your woman."

"The last time I took advice about women from you I ended up being chased five blocks and beaten up in an alley by her brother." Rhodey points out, wincing at the memory. Tony can't help but laugh at the look on Pepper's face, their lads nights out aren't always spoken about to her and she's certainly never heard that story before.

"What do you mean Tony got you beaten up?!"

"Woah, Pep, it's not as though I arranged to have him done over. And besides, that was just the one time, I've got you laid more times than you give me credit for."

"No you haven't. You end up going off with them instead or I'm left with the friend who's jealous she couldn't have you and she goes off to find someone else. Now stop avoiding the subject and answer Pepper's question before she does some damage." Rhodey chuckles, not wanting anything more to be said of his fails to woo a woman.

"I'm not avoiding the subject; I'm just very interested in the wellbeing of my friends." He smirks.

"Seeing as how you always have an answer to something why don't you give us one to what happened yesterday?" Pepper smiles sweetly, knowing that she has trapped him.

"What has Rhodey told you already?"

"Nothing, just that you met him in the mall."

"Right. Yeah. Well he was there with his family; they were just about to leave when the press cornered them or something. He was really freaked out and just ran into me; although I didn't mind too much being under him-"

"Anthony!" Pepper scolds.

"What?" His mouth curving into another smirk, he likes being able to rattle her. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Rhodey shaking his head and trying to suppress a smile. He shouldn't find this as funny as he does, especially if he wants to stay in Pepper's good books.

"You know what! This boy has been through hell and you're just thinking of getting him into your bed. There's something seriously wrong with you."

"I'm not trying to get him into my bed, we've been over this." He chuckles, "besides I don't think he's as broken as people think. Like sure, he has issues that need to be worked out but when he's calm and not being smothered by his mother he seems… Normal…"

"Well that's good then isn't it? Now you won't have to 'fix' him or whatever it was you wanted to do."

"Not exactly, I gave him my number in case he needed anything."

"Why, Tony? He's fine and you shouldn't push it. You're lucky he spoke to you at all considering who you are…" Pepper whines. It's not until recently that Tony has noticed how whiny she can be when she's bitching at him for doing something or to get him to do something.

"He doesn't kno-"

"What do you mean he doesn't know?! I thought we agreed that you were going to tell him!"

"After I saw the state he was in I didn't think it was the best idea. Besides it was more your thing to tell him from the start, I just want to ease my way in first."

"But what happens if he does text you and you do get on? How are you going to tell him? Have you thought about how much it'll probably damage him more! Did you think about that? Have you actually given any of this any thought at all, Anthony?" The doubt and disappoint can clearly be heard in her voice.

"Yes, _Virginia_, I have thought about it. I know it's not ideal and I get there could be some extremely negative repercussions if I don't tell him in the right way. Or if I just tell him full stop. But I think it'll be alright, I really do. He's not as fragile as his family think."

She sighs, realising she's losing the battle, "how have you come to that conclusion after one conversation with him?"

"Because after he sized me up whilst his brother was out the room he was able to talk to me. But not like a normal conversation but he was sarcastic and just… He could keep up with me. He's hardly spoken to anyone yet he can reply to me without even batting an eyelid. That's skill that both of you struggle with."

"Tony your attitude gets everyone's defences up." Rhodey laughs, "you're probably the first egotistical man he's ever met and the most egotistical man he'll ever meet."

"Exactly, I'm interesting which means he'll want to talk to me." A smug look makes itself comfortable on his face. "But if he was as simple or as delicate as people think he wouldn't do that. I'm no psychologist but I know that a lot of people in that situation probably wouldn't speak like that to strangers especially after the incident with the press."

"Are you sure you're not just looking for something that isn't there… So you don't feel worse about what your… Howard did?" Rhodey asks carefully.

"That's… No. You didn't see him. I would take you to see him but that'd be weird. I know you guys think that I'm trying to get Howard out of trouble with them, to try and prove to everyone he's not as bad as they think but I couldn't give a shit about his reputation. I feel like I'm repeating myself with you guys, I honestly don't fucking care about him. Not anymore. But Loki and his family need help and I want to do that."

"So how are you going to help? Will he even get in touch with you? Did you give him a good enough reason to?"

"Rhodey, I'm amazing that's reason enough. Besides I'm not as suffocating as the rest of his family seem to be."

"They have good reason to be, no matter what you think he's still not right. Not like us. They probably feel guilty for what they did as it is and now they just want to turn him into a proper person. Their actual son." Pepper explains, sometimes Tony can see things in too much of a black and white perspective when it comes to people and emotions. She doesn't blame him. Neither of them do; they can't. With how he was brought up and all the secrets that have come to the surface it's always been difficult for him. A voice in the back of her mind wants to encourage what he's doing, to get him to be able cope with emotions.

"I get that but they should give him a bit of space for him to find himself. Jesus, if I was in that position I'd be going crazy, to go from no interaction at all to suddenly not being left alone? It's insane. But I'm the middle ground that he needs." There has been many times where Tony has been alone in the basement and all he can think of is him in that position. To be kept in a room all alone with your every move being watched yet you're hardly addressed. It wasn't too different from his childhood though. He was only really addressed by Jarvis and the only true friends he ever really made are sitting in this room with him. It wasn't until he went to M.I.T that he was ever really sociable; being a lot younger than the rest of the students it was hard for him at first but he quickly made up for it. Sure he made friends there, but no one like Rhodey or Pepper.

"How does he know you're the middle ground? To him you could have been some weird stranger. He's not used to dealing with people so even though he'll analyse people he might not come to the same conclusions as you. What are you going to do if he doesn't call you?"

"I'm just hoping he'll contact me. I'm sure he knows I'm not like his brother so if he ever wanted to talk to someone different I'll be the only other person. The only thing I can do is wait, Pep, I don't want to go round to his house again…"

"Why not? Not going shy are you, Tony?" Rhodey teases, the way Tony does to him and is rewarded by a mock glare.

"You mean like you are around the ladies?" He counters. Rhodey opens his mouth to reply but nothing comes and he quickly closes it again when Pepper starts giggling. "And no, I'm not going _shy_. I just don't want to randomly turn up; they might think I'm up to something or stalking him and that wouldn't be good for my reputation."

"But, Tony, you are up to something and you are stalking him. Just say you wanted to see how he was after seeing how he was?" Pepper reminds him. Suddenly she realises she's making suggestions as to what he should do. Maybe her subconscious agrees with it a lot more than she thought it did. Tony realises too and smiles at her.

"I don't want to be suffocating like his family are. Look it's fine, I'm just going to wait and see what happens." He shrugs.

"Tony, you're one of the most impatient people I know. When you want something you do it as quickly as you can get it done, unless it's something you want to take your time with. Pepper's right, you can just pop by, ask how he is and then leave. Just say you were on your way somewhere."

"Why are you guys encouraging me? Just admit it, you know I'm doing the right thing and you want to be involved. You're just as fascinated by him aren't you? C'mon, just admit it."

"You make him sound like some kind of animal or new science concept. Yeah, okay, I admit I'm a little interested in the guy and what you want with him… I just don't want you to get in trouble and you need our help more than you like to let on." Rhodey concedes, he's tried lying to Tony on many occasions and it doesn't always end up the way he wants it to. Pepper on the other hand is harder to break and maintains that she's not interested in the boy or Tony's intentions; she just doesn't want to see him sharing a cell with his dad.

The subject is left at that for a while. Neither of them are convinced that Tony knows what he's doing or is even doing the right thing but they're more supportive now than they were before and Tony appreciates that. He knows he'll never have their full blessing to get involved in Loki's life but he's not asking for it and will carry on with what he's doing regardless of whether he has it or not. He may agree with them that he's leaving a lot to chance by waiting for Loki to make the next move – he has no reason to want to get in contact with someone he had a small conversation with but then again he may surprise him. He's certainly surprised Tony so far in such a short space of time. Tony spends the rest of the day with his best friends, trying to coax details out of their date last night. Seeing his friends blush and look so happy around each other makes Tony realise that even though he has them and always will, he's still alone.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**A/N: **As always thank you for all your support! :D I hope you enjoy more Tony/Loki interactions and I introduce Thor's friends! :D

**Chapter Twelve**

Despite having Tony's number for a few days, and deciding for his mother's sake that he'd try to befriend him, he's not been able to bring himself to contact the teen. At first he tried lying to himself and Frigga by telling her that he's still unsure how to use the phone but this is far from true. After teaching himself how to use pieces of technology in his room he was quickly able to work out the functions of his phone, particularly because it seems similar to the tablet he used to use in there. Having the phone has comforted him, not only can he contact anyone he wants (not that he really has people to contact) and whenever he wants, a freedom that he was deprived of growing up; it is also familiar to him which is useful in a world that is greatly unfamiliar to him. Thor messages him often to get him used to texting people, Loki appreciates his big brother's efforts but he has a desire to speak to someone new. After having a long talk with his younger brother the night after the shopping trip he has noticed how much he wants to interact with other people. He was surprised seeing how comfortable he was with Tony and has been insistent on helping Loki get friends to make him happy. As much as it grates on him that Thor is trying to conduct what Loki can and can't do he understands his heart is in the right place and tries not to put up too much of a fight.

Thor has had the same four friends since he was a child. They have always done everything together and they're still as close as they were since they first met. Their parents and themselves have affectionately called them 'Lady Sif and the Warriors Three' from when the games they used to play as children. In their minds they were the fiercest warriors who were always fighting to save the kingdom from war. At first they wanted Sif to play the young maiden who they needed to rescue but she was never one to need help, especially from a boy. She was more aggressive than other girls her age, which caused her to become friends with the boys. As they got older Thor found himself more attracted to her, now she's not the young girl with the mischievous glint in her eyes and the golden hair; she's a curvy woman with dyed black silken hair. Thor loves all of his friends and since he was told of his brother he wanted to combine them; to have all of his favourite people around him. Frigga has always warned him that they may not get on, after knowing the group for years they're the opposite to her reserved son; Thor being Thor still wants to try and get them all to bond.

When he first found out about what was going on the first people he went to were his friends. He had so many conflicting emotions he didn't know how to deal with any of them on his own and they all helped him the best they could. They were all so shocked when they heard about it and have been worried about him since the mysterious sibling had been brought to live with them. He was still texting and calling them but he wasn't going out with them anymore, instead he was at home with his new brother. Of course they understand that he needed Thor more but they didn't like how they were pushed to the side through it. They see themselves as a bigger part of the family than Loki was. To bring them all together Thor has invited them over today, with Loki's permission, so they can all hang out together like they usually do.

He's been excited all morning bounding around the house as though it was Christmas. Loki watches, almost enviously that Thor can find so much happiness from the thought of his friends. It's something Loki has never experienced, only in his dreams but has always told himself it's not possible for him to have it. Although Thor seems to be doing everything he can think of to make it possible. They're sitting in the living room where Frigga has placed snacks and drinks for everyone and Thor has set up an xbox. He's been trying to teach Loki on and off since he arrived and he's started to learn what type of games he enjoys and is good at. Loki's patience with the games also amazes Thor, if he didn't get it he wouldn't just throw down the controller (like Thor and his friends have done in the past) he just keeps going until he gets it done. It's small things like these that Thor notices and realises that he's been bonding with Loki more than he thought and hopes that Loki knows Thor as well as Thor thinks he knows Loki.

Thor pounces off the sofa and marches to the door when he hears knocking and the many voices of his friends. He opens the door and they all push their way inside, trying to get to their friend who they've not seen for a while. Once he manages to pry himself away from them all he leads them to the living room where Loki is anxiously waiting. The only groups of people he's ever had to deal with are his family and the press so he doesn't know how to react around them or how he's going to react around them. When they all come in the living room to be introduced to him they were nothing like Loki had imagined. There were three males, all completely different from one another; aesthetically they would never have been put together. There as another blonde, slightly shorter than Thor; hair brushed over to one side and confidence oozing from him (much like Tony). A, slightly overweight, red head the same height as the blonde with auburn facial hair to match and rosy cheeks. On the other side of him there is a shorter boy with short black hair slicked back away from his face, with thin lips and a stoic expression on his face. Then there is the girl with her long dark hair swept into a ponytail exposing her bare face.

"My friends, this is my brother Loki. Loki, these are my friends, Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif." Thor introduces pointing to each one as he says their names. They all smile at him awkwardly not knowing what to say. It's obvious to Loki that they know everything about what has gone on. Knowing they won't say anything Loki decides to say something, for Thor's sake.

"Nice to meet you…" He decides to say, quietly. They all seem taken aback at the voice that came from him. Surprised that he was able to form any words despite Thor telling them of how well he has coped.

"And you." Volstagg beams, wanting to break the awkward silence. "So, Thor, you promised us an afternoon of gaming and laughter and food!"

Thor laughs, "that I did. That I did." He motions for them all to sit down and they all sit on the sofa with Loki curled in the armchair watching them. As soon they've sat down Volstagg instantly reaches for the food which causes him to be teased and taunted by Fandral, with Sif joining in but to tease Fandral in her friend's defence. They're all laughing and joking and Loki is smiling slightly at the interactions. He's never witnessed human interaction like this before, not first hand.

Thor starts the game and passes the second controller to Fandral. They both get into the game, Loki recognises it from when they played, he doesn't know the name of it but it's a war shooting game of some description. Both boys get very competitive and it's not long before their shouting (albeit good-naturedly) at each other and their characters when they do something wrong. It wasn't just them shouting, it was the others too, laughing at the players expense as they got heavily involved in the mission. Even though they both claim to be experienced gamers with talent that people should be jealous of it didn't take long for them to die and have the controllers taken over by others. Hogun competes against Sif; Loki notices that they're much more restrained and focused when it comes to their playing. They both last a lot longer than the two blondes, although it doesn't stop them from teasing and joking about their skills. Boasting about non-existent talents. It isn't until most of the food is nearly eaten that their game comes to an end. Thor picks up the controllers; he passes one to Volstagg and walks over to Loki with the other.

"Care for a bout with Volstagg, brother?" He asks with a goofy smile on his face. Loki stares at him and then at the controller, his anxiety causes him to hesitate. Wanting to make a good impression on them he slowly takes the controller from Thor's hand and goes to sit on the floor beside Volstagg as all the others had done previously.

"Don't worry; I'll go easy on you." Volstagg laughs, and so do the others, but not in spite. Loki smirks, not knowing how to reply but it doesn't escape his notice that his opponents fingers are slightly too large for the pad which can have Loki at an instant advantage.

The mission starts and it doesn't take long for Loki to gain the upper hand. He's quiet and he ignores the cheers and jeers that are coming from behind them whereas Volstagg gets increasingly flustered trying to verbally take them all on. Loki's fingers dance across the buttons without him even having to look or think too much about what instructions to give them. He didn't go for the obvious kills or hiding places but instead he thought about his actions carefully before executing them. The four watching were stunned into silence, occasionally laughing at their companions mistakes. Their turn is soon over and they resume their places where they originally were. Loki turns and sees Thor bursting with pride and beaming at him.

"I've taught you well, brother!"

"Wow. You are a well-developed person aren't you?" Fandral asks, spacing out and slowly pronouncing his patronising words; which earns him a dirty look from everyone else.

"Excuse me?" Loki asks, narrowing his eyes as though Fandral had no right to be addressing him at all, let alone in the way that he did.

"Well, I mean… Y'know… You had bad childhood. You can function well." He carries on in the same tone and style. No one can tell if it's a joke that's gone too far or if he's genuinely convinced that Loki doesn't understand what he's saying. Thor starts to go red, embarrassed at his friends conduct and worried about what Loki would think that he told them.

"Judging by how you're talking I'd say I can function better than you." Loki retorts, smirking. The others laugh at his response, not expecting him to talk back to him and just storm off instead. Thor, especially, is relieved at Loki's reaction and is pleased at how he's interacting with them – as though he's known them just as long as Thor has. Fandral's words die in his mouth, he wasn't expecting to be shown up by Thor's silent misfit brother.

To distract everyone from what had just occurred, Thor suggests for them to watch a film. He allows Sif to choose and Loki doesn't miss the way his eyes follow her and admire her. He starts to wonder if she feels the same way about his older brother or if she even knows. The others seem to be oblivious to Thor's wants despite how obvious they appear to be to Loki. Or maybe he's wrong? He's still not accustomed to people's behaviour or even what they mean, he's just going by what he's read. The film starts and from the titles Loki realises that she's chosen a type of action film; not something he expected her to choose however from the others faces it appears that this was a predictable choice. Everyone gets immersed into the film laughing and cheering in certain bits, particularly when the hero makes a witty quip or does an intricate action scene. Loki on the other hand sits in the arm chair staring at the screen, bored at the lack of plot and unnecessary explosions (although he found the people's reactions to the chaos enjoyable). He can't help but yawn after a while.

"Are we boring you? For someone who's desperate to hang around people you're acting as though we're not fit to be in your presence." Fandral growls, he's starting to get sick of Thor's brother who doesn't fit into his own family let alone in their friendship group.

"Why are you trying to pick a fight with my brother? Just watch the film, this is the best part." Thor intervenes, not wanting any trouble and to just protect his brother.

"Are you sure he's even your brother Thor? I look like a member of the family rather than that freak." He laughs and even though that may be true he has no right to say it, especially not in front of Loki. Thor turns to apologise to Loki but he finds the arm chair empty, he gets up to go and find him but feels a hand clamp round his wrist. "Just wait until the end of the film." Fandral ordered. Thor pulls his arm away and is about to exit the room when Sif speaks up.

"Thor it's probably best for you to let him calm down." Thor sighs and nods, sitting back down.

**x-x-x**

Upon hearing those words leave Fandral's mouth Loki leaves the room, clenching his fists so hard he's almost certain his nails have drawn blood from his palm. How he managed to find the restraint to not shout and scream at his brother's idiotic friend is beyond him but he has to let it out some way. Slamming his door he throws himself onto his bed, allowing the contained sobs to rip out of his chest. Why was he being treated like that? Why does Thor like those people? Does he speak about him behind his back to them? Even after everything he's had to deal with for the past few weeks he's not felt as bad as this or cried so hard he feels his body is about to break. His sobs and cries may be muffled but Frigga can still hear them from the other side of his door. Concerned over her youngest sons wellbeing she quietly walks in, shutting the door behind her and sitting on the edge of his bed.

"What's happened Loki?" She asks her voice as soft as her touches on his messy hair.

"I don't fit in anywhere." He mumbles into the pillow, refusing to meet her eyes. Not wanting her pity or sympathy, just wanting to have been left alone. Although, even though he won't admit it, he wants Thor to come bounding through the door apologising for his friends blunt nature.

"What are you talking about? Have Thor's friends said something to you?" She knows how boisterous they can ben and how their banter can get out of control. It could be all too much for someone who's not used to it at all.

Loki tells her what Fandral said to him, both times. "But he's right. I know he is. I don't fit in there! I don't fit in here! I'm not made for this world!"

"No, my love, no. Don't listen to him, he's full of himself and is yet to learn any tact. You do belong here."

"You're the only person that thinks that. I should never have left that room."

"Don't say tha-"

"Why not?! It's true! I'll never be accepted here! Why was I ever taken from there?!" He screams in frustration and confusion. Things were so much simpler when the world was kept from him, at least then he couldn't be with people because he wasn't allowed to be, not because it was their choice to keep him away from them.

Frigga pulls him to her and after a brief struggle he surrenders to her arms. "They're just not the right people for you. We love you and you're a part of this family. I've told you this Loki, we all have, and we all mean it. I don't like many of your father's friends, it's natural." She reassures and she feels him relax against her. "It's going to be hard, and you know that but we're here to help. There'll be people you feel comfortable with." Her hands are still running soothingly through his hair, even though he's calmer now she knows the thoughts haven't left his head. The fear of rejection still present.

"I'm going to sit up here until they're gone… I don't wish to associate with such boorish creatures."

"Okay, darling." She smiles kissing the top of his head.

When she leaves the room Loki lies on his bed and stares at the ceiling, hating himself slightly that he let Fandral bother him so much. He swears to himself that he won't let them get to him ever again; his silver tongue will defend him next time and destroy him in the way he wanted to destroy Loki. Suddenly he wants to prove him wrong, that he does fit into his family and that he can have friends of his own; ones that are better than them with more intelligence that can hold a conversation rather than inarticulate shouting and jeering. His eyes rest on his bedside table where he sees his phone. Cautiously he reaches for it, still debating whether this is a good idea. Fandral's words echo through his mind, he gets to the name he's looking for and slowly starts to type out a message. His thumb hovers over the send button for a brief moment just whilst he builds up the courage to make the first step.

**x-x-x**

Tony's working in his lab on an idea that came to him at 4am, which was over twelve hours ago now and hasn't left since. It's this type of behaviour that worries his friends, he can be obsessive on a whole new level – it's almost like an addiction. There were many times when Jarvis would have to either bring his meals down or go and visit him every so often to remind him as to what the time is. Now Tony has no one to do that for him, Pepper and Rhodey try to call him or text him to check up on him but they're usually just glanced at and then ignored in order for him to try and get a break through. This is one of the only traits that he'll admit that he inherited from his father, mainly so he can blame him for his self-destructive behaviour and bad health. He lets out an irritated sigh as his phone beeps, assuming it's Pepper ordering him to go and eat. Just to make sure he checks it in case it's something interesting. Reading it he sees that it certainly is interesting.

_**Hello. I hope you don't mind me messaging you. – Loki**_

He beams seeing who it's from, pleased his plan actually worked. Although being Tony Stark he didn't really doubt that something he thought of wasn't going to work. His fingers start typing before he thinks about what to reply, asking why he's contacting him now – surely something has happened for him to want to talk to him now? Reading over the message before he sends it he deletes it all, thinking that he shouldn't just dive in like that no matter how curious he was.

_**Hey Loks. You ok? – Tony**_

That'll do, he thinks to himself. He stares at the screen for a while waiting for it to light up again with his name. A few minutes pass and nothing happens. To keep himself busy and his mind off it he goes back to his new project. One of the reasons he even started this project was to keep his mind off getting into contact with Loki. It's not doing a good enough job anymore; he's getting distracted and gives himself a mild shock by accident. Although it's quickly forgotten as the phone beeps again.

_**Yes. – Loki**_

"Well someone's talkative…" Tony mumbles to himself, unsure on what to reply next. He awkwardly starts typing words hoping to form some kind of sentence when another message pops up under the previous, problematic, one.

_**Yourself? – Loki**_

_**Yeh, I'm good. Workin on new project. Been up to much? – Tony**_

Thinking he'll take a while to respond to that message like he did the last one, he puts his phone down and strolls over to the kitchenette to get a drink. Jarvis had it installed when it started to get increasingly difficult to tear Tony away from his work, especially when he was trying to impress the professors at M.I.T and prove that the rumours of his genius were true. He makes it over to the fridge when the phone goes off again. _Perhaps he's getting the hang of texting now_ he thinks to himself, smirking at the image of the teen first attempting it.

_**Met Thor's friends today. – Loki**_

_**They nice? – Tony**_

_**No. – Loki**_

_**Do you like anyone? – Tony**_

_**I am yet to find a worthy companion. - Loki**_

Tony laughs out right at the message, he sounds like he's from a different time. Then again he was given a lot of classics to keep his mind occupied.

_**I'm with you there. I'm still lookin, but have settled for 2**__**nd**__** best for now. – Tony**_

_**I'm sure they're delighted you have chosen them to deal with you. – Loki**_

_**Of course they are! Who wouldn't want to deal with this? – Tony**_

_**Me. – Loki**_

_**Then why are you textin me? ;) – Tony**_

_**You're the lesser of two evils. – Loki**_

Now Tony really wants to know what Thor's friends were like; although if they were anything like Thor he can understand why he might not like them. He's the typical teenage girl's heart throb who probably places sport and athletics at the top of everything he does, next to food and getting laid. He's jolted from his thoughts as another message comes through.

_**Would you like me to stop texting you? – Loki**_

_**No, it's cool. Enjoyin the world a bit more now? – Tony**_

_**Not really. – Loki**_

_**Oh. Why? It's gotta be better than what you had before? – Tony**_

_**I'm undecided still. – Loki**_

_**Why? What happened? What was so great about the room? About being confined? – Tony**_

As soon as he hits send he realises that he's done the wrong thing. The one thing he didn't want to do was ask too many questions and then he sends four all in the same message. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, just willing the phone to go bright again with a message from Loki. A long time seems to pass before it happens and his heart sinks when he opens it.

_**I've got to go. – Loki**_

He didn't even offer him some kind of excuse after the wait. Just a short simple sentence which sums up Tony's mistake. This is exactly what he wanted to avoid. He tried to give Loki the control by letting him text Tony when he was up for it but Tony still manages to try and end up on top. There's nothing he can do now, he can't push any further because that'll scare him off completely. All he can do is accept that Loki stills needs some more time before he can start asking him questions about the experiment. About his life before the big wide world. He types his reply, grabs a bottle and goes back to his work before the breakthrough in his other project.

_**Okay. Night. – Tony**_


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**A/N: **Thank you all for your reviews and follows and such, I really love the support and I'm always interested to see what you think :D Just thought I'd give you an update, yesterday I finished writing Chapter 26 of this fic! I hope you're all around to read it and more! :)

**Chapter Thirteen**

Loki hasn't text Tony for a few days; he's wanted to but he's scared of being bombarded with questions like he was with the press. Whether Tony meant to or not he was asking too many questions for Loki to be comfortable. Even though he may not admit it aloud he was disappointed when the message came through and he was just questioning him much like everyone else. Questions are how you get to know people, Loki has learned this from the limited experienced he's had so far. People ask him various different things to help him and without paying much thought to it Loki has done the same so he knows more about his family to find out more about himself. The fear of being social has been replaced with a feeling of guilt; something he's only dealt with a couple of times in the room when the voice… _Howard Stark, Doctor Stark_, sounded disappointed in his behaviour or the questions he asked. What if he's disappointed Tony in the same way? Maybe he won't answer his next messages… How long does it take to be forgiven of things? Was what he did really offensive to people or just something small?

His family have noticed how he's been distant since Thor brought his friends round. As soon as they left (which turned out to be later in the day than Loki had hoped) he went straight to his brothers room and apologised for their behaviour, reassuring him that he'll keep them away from him from now on. Loki didn't mind, or care that Thor wanted to keep them separate from now on. It wouldn't have bothered him if he was going to have them round every weekend either; it was his house after all and he was more like a permanent guest. If he ever had to encounter them again he wouldn't react in the same way that he did; he'd be much more prepared for their sharp words and spiteful thoughts. He'd give them everything he's got. Since it happened Thor has been more protective than usual which is starting to irritate Loki. He assumes it irritation; he's never been in the position where he's found it hard to tolerate being in someone's presence yet still like the person.

To try and get Thor to calm down and step back Loki showed him the texts from Tony and said that has been on his mind more than his friends had been. He's not entirely sure how it happened but it made Thor worse and he can't even glance at his phone now without Thor quizzing him about it. Thinking about it now that's probably another reason why Loki hasn't text Tony again, not because he doesn't want to be questioned about the experiment again but because he doesn't want Thor on his back about it. He appreciates his brother's interest but he doesn't understand why he has to run everything past him, Thor doesn't do that with Loki.

As he has done for the past few days Loki finds himself in the same dilemma where he's still not any closer to apologising to Tony. Or talking to him at all. He's lying on his bed with the same thoughts running through his mind. Odin wanted to talk to Thor about the business so Loki decided to stay out of the way as he felt it didn't concern him. It's one of the only times he's been able to be alone this week, the perfect time to text Tony – to try and make up for just leaving him like that. Although Thor has assured him that Tony wouldn't read too much into it as they hardly know each other and it wasn't as though he just ignored him (even though the thought did cross his mind when he was trying to think of an appropriate response). Being alone in his bedroom makes him realise how much he misses time to himself. Now he's out of isolation people seem to assume that all he wants to do is spend time with people all the time and not be on his own. That's not necessarily true all the time; he enjoys being in other people's presence now, even if he's just sitting there with them with nothing being said but he does enjoy being able to relax without being in someone's eye line and being studied.

It's mainly at night when he has problems being alone.

After leaving the room he's found it harder and harder to be able to sleep. The only nights he hasn't been attacked by nightmares were when he was sedated and out cold. Or the time Thor stayed with him. Dr Banner is the only person he trusts to talk to about his nightmares; he's offered him pills of some kind but he doesn't want to take them. He's scared he won't wake up or when he does he wakes up back in the room. That's what all his nightmares are about, it's what they've been about from the moment he stepped foot outside his room. That he would be taken back to the room and isolated once again – at least before he didn't really know what he was missing but how could he go back to that life after what he's experienced? His family suspects that he's not sleeping properly, Frigga has tried to get him to open up about it but he insists that he's okay. Whenever he wakes up in a cold sweat with his body trembling, refusing to let him close his eyes again he wants to go and see Thor – to have him protect him – but he quickly talks himself out of it. He needs to be independent, he can't always rely on them otherwise he'll never get better. Never become normal.

Living with Thor means there is almost always background noise, him talking can usually be heard through the floors. Even whilst he sleeps his breathing and snores can break through the walls and to Loki's very alert and awake ears. It's still strange to him, after years without noise for it to be suddenly by your side. It's comforting. However now it seems to be louder than normal. Thor's voice is loud and clear, the anger in his tone can't be mistaken. Whenever he stops muffled shouting replies to him that could only be Odin. Loki makes a face and gracefully gets off the bed and presses himself against the floor, trying to hear all he can. It doesn't make it any better; he can still only pick up Thor's words, something about an interview. An _interview_. It hits Loki that whatever they're arguing about concerns him too. The feeling of guilt comes back again, he's got in the middle of this father/son relationship and it's being spoiled because of him being in the house. Of being in the family. If the argument involves him surely he has a right to know what's really being said? He silently makes his way down the stairs and to the living room, forgetting all about his text to Tony.

"Father he isn't ready! You've seen how he's been all week! Tell them we'll consider it another time!" Thor cries, as if he's begging. Loki appears in the doorway listening to his brother's pleas that seem to go ignored by Odin. Odin's about to reply when he sees the pale thin figure watching them, deep in thought. Thor follows his father's eyes and sees the same sight. "Did we wake you, brother?" He asks his voice much softer and lower than how it was to his father. The only reason Thor can think of his brother wanting to be alone in the afternoon is to take a nap, especially as his sleeping habits seem to be disturbed.

"No… Is something wrong…?" His voice slightly hoarse.

"Nothing's wrong, brother." Thor lies, trying to hide it with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"You were shouting. You're loud, Thor, but not that loud."

"We were having a discussion-"

"I've been approached by a respectable newspaper asking whether we would be up for doing a family interview about everything that has happened. The experiment and you coming into the family again." Odin explains. His father may not be affectionate towards Loki or treat him like he does Thor, but to Loki he is honest with him. He won't keep him in the dark over matters like Thor tries to (and even Frigga at times). It's because of his honesty that has caused Loki to respect him.

"Father, I said he isn't ready for this. In a month or two maybe but not now. Even mother agrees with me." Thor growls, in all his years he's never wanted to defy his father before or argue against him.

Loki stiffens at the words, the feeling of irritation bristling under the skin. Odin notices a change in Loki's body language that he's sure his eldest son has missed. He's started to notice it a lot more of late, particularly when Thor is talking to him or about him like he's no there. Just because he's used to people doing that doesn't mean to say that he likes it.

"Excuse me?" Loki asks through gritted teeth, glaring at Thor. Doesn't Thor think that he is capable of doing things like this?

"I… I didn't mean anything by it… I just think it's best for you. I just want you to be comfortable and I think… You'll be more comfortable doing it another time…" Thor says carefully, thinking through what he says before he says it. Despite being a bigger build and being able to take on Loki if he needed too he feels strangely intimidated by his brother; he's never seen those green eyes look at him like that… With such anger and hurt.

"I wasn't aware you knew how I felt better than myself? Or am I too weak, too unstable to even decide how I feel?" He sneers and even Thor can't miss the venom dripping from his words. All Thor's done is care for his brother, was it not enough? Perhaps Loki just doesn't know how to deal with it… Eighteen years without affection would cause someone to not know how to react. It wasn't Loki's fault… He just doesn't understand.

"No, Loki, that's not what I thought. You're not weak you're strong, to go through everything you have and to still function-"

"What did you _expect_? For me to stay completely compliant forever? To not utter a single word or thought? Or did you not want me to _function_? For me to stay dependent on you for the rest of my life?"

"Loki you've got it wrong I-"

"_I'm_ the one that got it wrong? Of course _I'm_ the one who got it wrong. It's so much easier to say _I'm_ in the wrong, isn't it?" He spits, no longer able to keep his emotions contained. How dare Thor think that he has such authority over him, more so than himself or his own parents? "Loki doesn't understand. Loki doesn't know his own mind. Loki isn't better; I'll just make all his decisions for him. That's what you think isn't it?!"

"No, Loki I do not… I just want you to get better and I don't think they'll help you…" Thor replies, slowly trying to figure out what he's done wrong. What he had done to deserve such anger from one of the people that mean so much to him. How could he have made his brother worse? Or could this be considered as better as he's starting to come out of his well-formed shell?

"Well I _am_ getting better and I _will_ be doing the interview." He says, turning to face his dad; looking him in the eye for one of the rare times.

Odin nods and the slight twitch in his mouth makes Loki think is the closest thing he'll get to a smile. "I shall speak with them later to confirm the date and time." Loki doesn't reply verbally but tilts his head in acknowledgement, allowing his decision to sink in. Thor doesn't make an effort to speak let alone argue against both his father's and his brother's wishes. If he feels up to it who is he to judge and say he's not? Odin disappears back to his office leaving them in the tense living room.

Thor clears his throat, searching for something to say, to keep Loki there for a little longer before he returns back to his room. "Um… To help prepare you… If you'd like I could ask for someone to come over… Ask you questions…?" He suggests, attempting to make it up to his brother – hating the fact he disappointed and upset him.

"I am perfectly able to arrange this for myself, _Thor_." Loki grumbles. Doesn't he get it? Can someone that's been in the world for this long be so oblivious?

Thor sighs and nods, he needs to leave his brother for a while. "I'm going to go out with my friends… Call me if you need me?"

"Fine." Loki shrugs going back to his bedroom.

He lies back on his bed in the same position before he ventured downstairs to see what was going on. Now his mind full of thoughts about the interview. He's not entirely sure he's ready to do it but he has to show Thor, he has to show all of them that he isn't just some broken little boy. He _has_ to do this. The rational part of him knows that perhaps he shouldn't be jumping into this so soon; he should discuss it with Bruce and see what he suggests or if he thinks it's a good idea. As much as he hates to admit it or even consider it, Thor is right and he should try and prepare for it some way. He never wants to see Thor's friends ever again but this could be what he needs to talk to Tony again. He'd be willing to do it wouldn't he? Loki can't ask Bruce because he knows too much already and he's hardly a stranger; he can't ask Mr Rogers for the same reason. Tony is his last resort. Or Odin but he'd rather avoid that, although he did seem to get a glimmer of approval when he accepted the task of the interview.

Leaning across to his bedside table he takes his phone and starts tapping out a message.

_**Would you be willing and able to do be a favour? – Loki**_

Although he doesn't know Tony very well from what he has seen from his personality it wouldn't surprise him if he had to wait hours for a reply – purely because of how Loki behaved last time. What does surprise him is Stark's almost instantaneous response.

_**What kind of favour? ;) – Tony**_

"What is the purpose of that face…?" Loki mumbles to himself, annoyed that something so simple could cause him confusion.

_**I have been asked to do an interview and need assistance preparing for it. Seeing as you are annoyingly inquisitive I thought you'd be capable of doing so. – Loki **_

_**Yeh sorry about that. You can't find me that annoyin if youre textin me still :P – Tony**_

_**Only as a last resort, I assure you. – Loki**_

_**Aww, you wound me! – Tony**_

_**A great shame, I'm sure. – Loki **_

There's a few moments when his phone remains silent and unmoving. What if Tony is more sensitive than what he lets on and he wasn't being sarcastic at all? It's harder to tell just through words on a screen. Loki tries again, hoping he's not blown his chance. He really doesn't want to deal with Thor's friends or ask his brother for help – not after how he acted towards him today.

_**So will you do it? – Loki**_

_**Anythin for you Loks ;) – Tony**_

That face again… What is it with him and that face?


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**A/N: **I'm still so surprised whenever I get new alerts and such :D Also to the guest who left the review – thank you! Reviews make my day :D Finally some more Tony/Loki interaction! Enjoy! Also if there are any mistakes I apologise I uploaded this in a rush!

**Chapter Fourteen**

Since Loki's outburst, Thor's been a lot more careful around him. Frigga can tell it's breaking his heart, having to keep his distance from his brother. He's been moping around the house, hardly going out, just waiting for the moment that his brother might have need of him. Most of the time Loki has stayed in his room, only coming out for meals or if Frigga asks him too – hoping the two brothers can sort things out. Everyone that's ever met Thor knows his heart is in the right place and would rarely do anything to intentionally hurt someone, especially his family. Even though it's only been three days since the argument it has felt a lot longer to Thor, with Loki not even looking at him at the dinner table.

Loki has liked having the space from Thor, he realises that he may have been too harsh or gone too far but it needed to be done and he did need to tell him. Frigga has approached him and asked him to be easier on Thor but all he wants is just time to himself without his actions being questioned or without being wrapped in cotton wool. He knows he can't avoid him forever, particularly because he's meeting Tony and knows he won't be allowed anywhere without one of them (one of Dr Banner's specifications). This could be the olive branch he could offer Thor; that way they both get what they want and Tony will be there too.

He makes his way downstairs and finds Thor sprawled across the sofa watching some kind of terrible day time TV show. He looks just as depressed as the family that's on it. When Loki comes into his view he instantly sits up so Loki can sit with him if he wants, putting a smile on his face. Loki doesn't sit next to him or smile back but he does approach him. Thor's smile just widens at the action just the same, pleased that his brother has finally come to him.

"I require your services…" Loki says tentatively, watching Thor's reaction.

"Of course, brother, what is it you need?" Thor is one of the happiest he's been; Loki is finally coming to him for help rather than just hinting at it. He's finally needed.

"I need you to take me to that shopping place."

"I can do that, why do you need to go there? Is there something you need?"

"I am meeting Tony at a coffee place there."

"You're meeting Tony…?"

"Yes, it was your idea. To be questioned by a stranger in preparation for the interview." Loki points out, smirking that he's trapped his brother.

"Oh… Yeah, sure. When are you meeting him?" Thor asks. He knows that he can't be mad at what Loki wants to do and in fact he should be supportive of him being sociable. It's just who he wants to talk to, something seems off with Tony, something that he can't place.

"Half an hour."

The car ride over was quiet and oddly tense; Loki doesn't understand why Thor disapproves of Tony so much, especially because of the people he hangs around with. At least with Tony if he ever says anything inappropriate he's not being spiteful and enjoys when Loki replies in a similar manner; not like Thor's friends who just want to destroy Loki and everything he's achieved so far. So Thor isn't sitting on his own or, even worse, with them he called to have his friends meet them there too. Even though Loki won't be speaking to them even being in the same area as them makes him angry and anxious. He never told Tony exactly what happened that day to make him want to text him but he can tell that Tony wants to know. There are a lot of questions that Tony wants to ask but he's too afraid to and Loki can see that. Sometimes the small talk messages or the strange faces are clearly there to fill a gap he desperately wants to fill with something else.

They arrive at the coffee shop and neither Tony nor Thor's friends are there. Loki doesn't mind the fact Thor's idiotic group isn't there but the fact Tony isn't either fills him with dread. Maybe this is all a game and people aren't really that nice at all; or just not to Loki. The look on Thor's face shows he's not impressed either and Loki starts to hope that he comes if not for his sake but for Tony's. Then again why should he care? If he wants to hurt Loki then Loki will do the same and hurt him back; even get Thor to help if he really needs it. Loki's so caught up in his anxiety he doesn't realise Thor's talking to him. The look of anger is replaced with a look of worry and Thor places his giant paw on his shoulder, forcing Loki to look at him.

"Is something wrong, brother?" He asks.

"No, I'm fine…" Loki replies shaking his head, as though trying to get rid of the thoughts.

"Are you sure? I can take you home if you-"

"No." He refuses, he will not let this beat him.

"Okay, if you're sure. I asked you if you wanted something to eat or drink."

"Oh… Just a coffee and a sandwich…" Loki shrugs, going back to staring at the floor and thinking. He quietly stands at his brother's side as he gives the order. Taking his phone out of his pocket he checks for any messages and the time. Tony was now seven minutes late. Was it a normal thing for people to be late? Did they get there early? He's quickly lost in his mind again, so much so he doesn't notice Thor's companions come in, despite all the joyous noise they were making. It takes a hearty slap on the back from Fandral to bring Loki back to reality. He jumps violently into Thor for protection without a thought.

"Why don't you take your food and sit down? I'll bring your drink over, okay?" Thor smiles, trying to calm his brother down. Loki just nods and tears himself from his brother's arms. He takes his plate and goes over to a table in the corner. Slowly he starts nibbling on his sandwich, disappointed that Thor's friends could make an effort but his couldn't. The chair opposite him is pulled out and his head snaps up, expecting to find Thor or one of the others. A relieved smile spreads across his face when he sees Tony sitting there instead. His hair somewhat messy and his clothes look as though they'd just been found on the floor and thrown on.

"Been waiting long? I slept through my alarm." Tony explains, a little breathless. He must have run from his car to here.

"No, not long…" Loki shrugs going back to his sandwich.

"Brother, here is your coffee." Thor smiles putting it down, only just noticing Tony as he goes to sit down. "Oh, you've arrived." Is that a tone of disappointment in his voice?

Tony nods taking money out of his pocket and handing it to Thor, who takes it confused as to what he's being given it. "Could you grab me a black coffee, the same sandwich as Loks and a doughnut? Thanks big guy." Thor glares at Tony's audacity whereas Loki watches amused and can't help but laugh when Thor walks off to get what Tony asked for. "Are those your brother's friends? The ones you mentioned?" He asks, motioning to the large noisy group.

"Unfortunately. It appears they have to travel around together. Just ignore them and they should go away." Loki replies, sipping his coffee and not making eye contact.

"Is it them you don't like or people in general? Because I seriously can't tell."

"I do believe we've had this conversation, are you incapable of generating new questions?" Loki sighs, wondering whether this was a bad idea or not.

Tony laughs. "Okay, okay, just didn't want to steam in there. What is it you want me to do again? Just question you?"

"Yes."

"Alright, want me to be gentle or…?" Tony smirks and before Loki can respond Thor comes back with his order. "Hey, thanks big guy." He beams.

"Now, Tony, don't take advantage of my brother's trust. If he wants to stop or if he feels uncomfortable with anything you ask or suggest then you will stop and move on. I'll only be over there so if there's any trouble I have no problem with stepping in and removing you from my brother's company. Is that understood?" Thor threatens in his low, serious voice.

"Relax, I'm sure Loki can handle himself and me if he has to." He smiles but it doesn't reassure Thor. He doesn't want to leave his brother alone with this boy but he knows his brother wouldn't forgive him if he stayed.

"Go, Thor. I'll be fine." Loki orders him, noticing his brother's hesitance to go over to his friends. Thor observes him and nods, squeezing his shoulder before he leaves to sit with his group.

"Do you have to take your bodyguard with you everywhere?" Tony laughs starting to eat.

"He's not my bodyguard… But yes, I do. Or my parents." Loki huffs, watching Tony eat.

"Oh, that sucks. Don't they trust you to be alone or something?"

"Must you talk with your mouth full?" Loki asks with a look of disdain. "I'm supposed to be some kind of feral child yet I seem to have better table manners than you."

"Well you weren't the only one to grow up without your parents." Tony mumbles, still eating and drinking his coffee.

The comment stuns Loki into silence and he carries on delicately eating his sandwich. With his confident and arrogant personality he wouldn't have thought that he would have had a similar upbringing. From the things that Loki has read, Tony isn't what he imagined a neglected child to look like, then again if it wasn't for the press coverage he's pretty sure that no one would really notice that he was either. Well, that's what he hopes. "I didn't know…"

"It's fine, why would you? It's not something I like to broadcast, y'know?"

"I'm intimately aware of that feeling." Loki nods, meeting his eyes. Tony smirks in response. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm still fascinated by your accent and that just sounded so…" Tony shakes his head as though he's trying to get of unwanted thoughts. Loki just stares at him confused and lets him continue without interrupting. "So what did you do for entertainment in that place?"

"I had many books to read and a TV too. I preferred reading though."

"Why's that? I love a good film or TV show, especially the old sci-fi series' which are just so mediocre by today's standards." He rambles.

"I liked being able to use my imagination, exercise my mind. It was also nice not to have the real physical reminder of what I was missing out on. If it was an image in my mind then it felt as though I was making it up so… Really I wasn't missing anything." Loki explains, watching Tony's facial expression change to something more sombre.

"Oh, right. Yeah that makes sense, sad but it makes sense. Well now you're not missing out have you seen any films? I could give you a list of must-see stuff."

"I watched one with Thor and the others. It was dreadful, there was no plot and the only interesting character died. And then they looked down on me for not liking it. Do you all just mindlessly agree with each other or is it normal to disagree?" He asks becoming irritated that they're coming up into conversation, anyone else would try to change the topic to something more safe and comfortable for him. But Tony isn't like anyone else.

"Well it depends, there are some people who just do what they're told and agree with everything you say but there are the more interesting ones like me who do what you want. Mostly disagreeing with everyone around you making them angry but, hey, it's always worth it." Which is true, Rhodey and Pepper could back him up if he needed them too. He's stubborn and always thinks he's right even when he knows he's lost the argument (although that hardly happens). Loki nods, thinking about what he just says. The quietness is disrupted with loud laughter coming from a few tables away. Loki's eyes narrow at the cluster of foolish people he wishes to escape. Tony doesn't miss the look on his face and can't help but chuckle. "You really hate them don't you?"

"I can't hate my brother. But yes I hate the rest of them." Can that even be possible? To only have met someone once and to take such a dislike to them? Or is that just another thing Loki has got wrong?

"I don't blame you; they don't seem your kind of people. But what have they done wrong?"

Loki sneers, "and what are my kind of people?"

"People like me, intelligent, interesting, charming." He smiles.

"Irritating, unable to keep their mouth shut and arrogant, you mean?"

"You sure know how to make a guy feel special, Loks."

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Loki questions, more out of curiosity than irritation.

"It's a nick name. I like giving people nick names, it's more personal."

"Personal? Isn't that too soon?"

Tony laughs, he doesn't mean to, the last thing he wants to do is embarrass Loki hut he just can't help it. His naivety is just endearing and he's never heard any questions like the ones he asks. "It's a friendly thing, not a marriage proposal or anything." It doesn't matter what he says to remedy it, he can see he's gone too far and offended him.

"If you're just going to mock me then I'll leave." Loki growls rising from his chair. At the sound of the chair squeaking on the floor Thor looks round and sees Tony's hand clamp down on his brother's fragile pale wrist.

"No, please stay. I didn't mean offend you. It's just what I do; I'm useless at interacting with people. I'm used to tinkering with my robots and you can take that how you like." Tony winks trying to diffuse the tension. Thor sees and storms over but is shocked when he hears his brother laugh at whatever comment Tony just made. Even though Tony wanted him to laugh he's surprised that he did, he didn't think he'd even get the reference. "What kind of books were you given to read, Loks?" He laughs.

Loki blushes and his laughter stops, "don't be so crude, Tony." Suddenly he notices that Thor is standing next to him.

"Is everything okay, brother?"

"Everything is fine. Go back to your companions." Loki snarls.

"We've been here a while… Are you sure you don't want to leave, yet?" Thor asks carefully, unhappy that his brother's sudden mood change is because of him.

"I'm sure, now go." He replies, waving his hand dismissing him. Thor opens his mouth to speak but decides against it and just squeezes Loki's shoulder. Loki sits back down and Thor wanders back over to where he was. None of them miss the look of sadness on his face. Since Loki has come into his life their friend hasn't seemed like the same person; he's still the same loving person he's always been but now there's starting to be problems with Loki he's more irritable and worrisome.

"How's the date going?" Fandral asks, grinning, when he sits back down.

"It's not a date Fandral I've told you this." Thor sighs, becoming annoyed at his constant comments and joking about his brother. "And it's going well, they appear to be getting on."

"You mean he's actually managed to make a friend?"

"Fandral." Thor, cautions in a low threatening tone and glares at him.

"Thor, he was only joking." Sif reminds, stroking his arm to try and calm him down.

"I'm aware of this. It's just he's been through a lot and I don't appreciate the jokes you're making. It hurts him more than you know."

The group goes quiet, looking for something to say. None of them want to apologise as they feel they don't have anything to apologise for. To them Loki was just as rude to them as they were to him, they can't dispute that his upbringing (or lack of) made him that way but that still doesn't give him any right to think he's better than them. After a few tense moments, Volstagg breaks the silence by talking about going to see a new film at the cinema; Thor wants to invite Loki along but he knows that wouldn't go down well with either party. Instead he distractedly listens to the conversation going on around him whilst watching his brother and Tony on the other table.

"You really have him wrapped round your little finger don't you?" Tony smiles.

"It seems that way." Loki shrugs, he's never really thought about it like that. Thor's always willing to do what he can for him but he just assumed that's what he's like with everyone.

"Are you getting on well with your family or are you pissed that they had you locked up or… I mean have you even asked them why they did it?" Tony asks without thinking, wincing slightly when he sees the expression on Loki's face of anger and distress. He should listen to Pepper one day when she tells him to learn tact. He keeps his eyes trained on Loki, hoping that he wouldn't leave because of his stupid mistake.

"We've not really spoken about it…" He mumbles, struggling with a conflict inside his mind. He doesn't really want to talk about it to them or to anybody other than Bruce; he's not sure if he doesn't want Tony to know, not yet… Then maybe it would be a good thing to get off his chest, to talk about it to an outsider. It's what he'll be asked in the interview anyway. "I'm unsure as to whether I'm angry at them or not… They've not really explained their reasoning… They avoid the subject… I know Thor didn't know, so I can't be angry at him or hate him despite how much he angers me at home. Mother is deeply sorry and I don't bring it up because I don't want to hurt her and father… He seems to avoid talking to me at all… But you seem to understand that…"

"Don't be afraid to demand answers from them, Jesus, you deserve them. I know exactly what it's like to be ignored, I don't understand why but I understand how it feels. But we're not talking about me. Why don't you like Thor? He's practically a god." He swoons sarcastically.

"I'm not a desperate teenage girl so I do not appreciate that as most would, Tony. Although as a reward I could put in a good word for you if you'd like, but you'll have competition for his affections."

Tony chuckles and even Loki finds himself smiling. "I appreciate it but he's not exactly my type."

"Type?" He's never come across that before.

"Yeah like… He's not someone I'd go for. I like someone that can actually hold a conversation and who's brain doesn't lie in his arms."

"No, I'm sure you'd prefer his brains to be in his trousers instead. I'm sure you'd have more in common then."

Tony gasps, pretending to be shocked. "How dare you judge me like that? Besides, how do you even get that reference? You should be innocent and pure from being locked away."

"I've come across that phrase before in books. That's all."

"I'd like to get some copies of these books you read."

Loki shakes his head, trying to hide his smile (although Tony's noticed that it's not left his face for a little while now). By doing this he notices two girls on the table across from them whispering and staring. Why are they watching them? Do they recognise him from the papers? Isn't it normal for two boys to be sitting and talking? They keep whispering in hushed, curious tones and looking over at them, particularly at Tony but he seems oblivious. Even if they weren't directly talking about him it starts to make him feel uncomfortable and he doesn't want to talk anymore. He just wants to leave. Tony notices how his smile as disappeared and he doesn't seem to be listening to what Tony is saying. He follows his line of sight and sees the two girls, who smile at him and try to flirt with their eyes. It makes him just as anxious as Loki, what if they accidentally reveal who he is?

"I think it's time for me to go…" Loki says quietly standing up. "Thank you for this." He walks over to Thor without giving Tony time to respond. Tony sighs and sits there, watching Loki leave with Thor. It was all going so well and now he's had to leave; he didn't even get to ask Tony about those faces in his texts.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**A/N:** Hello my lovely followers, here's an extra update this week! The second one should come on Friday but if it doesn't, it'll be up on Saturday :)

**Chapter Fifteen**

The two brothers sit in the car silently on the way home, much like they did on the way there, although Loki can see that it's killing Thor. He can tell that he has so many questions that he wants to ask but Loki would probably not want to answer. Then again Loki has questions too, not just for him but for their parents too. Maybe he should take Tony's advice and ask for the answers that he wants? He also wants to ask if he's friends said anything else about him, but is that too vain to ask about? What if they didn't talk about him at all and he's just being paranoid because of what happened before? If they both want answers this can be what they both need, swap information. Before he can talk he's ripped from his thoughts by his brother's booming voice.

"So… How did your… Meeting go?" So Thor gave in to the little voice inside his head commanding him to ask. Not that Loki thinks that even the voice in Thor's head is quiet.

"It went well…" Probably not the answer that Thor was looking for but what else can he really say? He doesn't doubt that Thor wants all the details but there doesn't seem many to give. They were just in each other's company as friends and as he only has the one negative experience to compare it to then it was the best talk he's ever had.

"Did he ask many questions like you wanted?"

"He asked a few… We just spoke mainly…"

"Oh? What about?" Thor asks trying to make it sound casual but Loki can tell he's eager to find out all he can.

"Family." It may be a blunt answer but it's the truth. Loki revealed all he wanted to about his relationship with his parents and his brother and Tony did the same about his father. Although thinking back on it now Tony didn't mention his mother at all. Loki isn't naïve he knows about single parent families whether it's through death or through choice and now he wants to find out which one of them is true for Tony.

The car stops and Thor cuts the engine but makes no effort to get out of the car. The only movement he does is to turn to face his younger brother. It's the first time for a while that he's been able to get Loki on his own, without any distractions and without a place he could run off to. Okay, he could run out of the car but he couldn't get into the house without Thor's house keys and if he decided to run off it wouldn't take long for Thor to be able to catch up with him. He's pleased to find that Loki doesn't try to get out and is quite compliant.

"What about family? Did he mention his…?"

"He just asked what I thought of you all… And yes he did."

"What did you answer?" He knows he's asking too many questions but he can't help it. They just leave his mouth before he has a chance to process them. Then again, most of his speech is like that and Loki has recently been starting to notice that.

Loki sighs, not really wanting to answer the question. The reason he wanted a friend of his own, that wasn't his brother, was so that he had someone else to talk to. So he didn't have to tell Thor everything all the time even though Thor thinks that as they're brothers they should. Loki has read about brotherly relationships in his books, some are close and some are competitive and not close at all. It's clear what one Thor wants but he's too suffocating and taking it to the extreme which he just can't handle, not yet. Perhaps he should do what Fandral and Tony does and just speak his mind, tell Thor that he feels that way. If his friends do it too then why wouldn't Thor accept it? He accepts everything else they do, including when they make Loki feel bad about himself.

"Loki?" Thor tries to bring Loki back to the real world.

"Just how father hardly speaks to me or acknowledges my presence-"

"Oh, brother, don't feel that way. He's a busy businessman-" He interrupts only to be cut off himself.

"Yet he always has time for you doesn't he?" Loki hisses with an anger he didn't know that he was harbouring, not with that force. "I told him how mother loves me and feels shame for the whole thing wanting me to forgive her and I'm sure one day I will completely. Then there's you. My wonderful, doting brother who doesn't know when to stop; when to step back and allow me to breathe. Who surrounds himself with imbeciles and then expects me to join in despite their dull wit and attempts to ridicule-"

"They're not spiteful people, brother. They make comments in good fun; they do it to me too."

"How can you be so oblivious? You've known these people your whole life but even you can't tell when they're being serious? How can you trust them? Or is this just something else I'm not going to understand?"

Thor sighs and leans back in his seat. "When you make friends it'll make more sense to you. They're my good friends and we know each other-"

"Well then let me make my own friends and stop interfering." Loki huffs, taking off his seatbelt and going to get out of the car.

"Loki, wait, please." Thor pleads, placing his hand on his shoulder causing him to pause but not look round to face him. "I'm sorry… I didn't realise how you felt… I just worry about you, brother, I can't help it. Since I was told about you I just wanted to have a little brother to protect, especially because of how you were treated… I just want to do what's best."

Bright green eyes scan Thor's face, wondering what to say next. As annoying and over the top he can be he can't really fault him for trying. "I know you care and I appreciate it… I just want some kind of independence back; I can't cope with you breathing down my neck all the time. I know your friends may like to be inappropriately close but I'm not like that."

He laughs, "we're not _inappropriately close_, but I shall try and be more careful. You are my brother, Loki, and I don't want to lose that."

"Well if you just leave me be then you won't."

Thor nods and smiles, he wraps one arm around Loki's delicate frame and hugs him. Loki awkwardly allows it to happen, hoping that this talk will make things more bearable. Wondering what's taking the boys so long outside, Frigga looks out of the window and sees her boys hugging in the front seats of the car. She smiles to herself that they've finally sorted things out; she only hopes that it stays that way.

Once Loki had left the girls instantly made their move, flirting and throwing their details at Tony. He took them distractedly then found an excuse to leave. It isn't until he gets home that he realises that this is one of the first times that he's practically rejected a woman (well two girls) sober. The rational and scientific side of him is telling him that he has to lay low and that's while he's doing this, at least until he's told Loki who he really is. Which he will do, _eventually_, he just doesn't know when. He's in his lab making changes to Dummy when he thinks about texting Loki again, just to see how he is after he ran out on him in the café. As he picks up his phone it starts ringing with the screen flashing as an unknown caller contacts him.

"Hello?" He asks gruffly, going back to his work. It's got to be the press; he's been getting more and more phone calls recently from them begging for even the smallest piece of information. There are some cases where he finds begging acceptable, however, these situations are never one of them.

"Hello, Mr Stark? This is Natasha Romanoff from _News Flash New York_ and we were wondering if you would be willing to do a live interview with us in two weeks' time?" The female voice answers, confident that she'll get what she wants. He knows of the show and in the past they have dealt with many controversial issues but nothing like this – although he's surprised that they haven't tried to go for the exclusive sooner. Or asked Loki himself.

"Call me Tony, sweetheart. Or in fact, don't call me anything at all. I'm not interested in doing this. I want no part in what Howard's been doing."

"Well that's not strictly true is it? We have sources to tell us that you've been seen out with your father's guinea pig."

"You've had me watched? I thought you were just a TV show not some spy agency." Tony asks amused that he's being stalked but at the same time frightened if about the information ever getting back to Loki. Or Thor. He'd never be able to walk or even breathe again if he got hold of him.

"We've just been doing research, Tony, nothing more. So are you interested? Everyone wants to hear your side of the story and Howard's but of course we can't-"

"You can't get hold of him and I'm the next best thing, right? Now, listen to me, I wasn't involved in this and I know next to nothing about the whole thing. Well nothing interesting to you at least. I don't want to be associated with this anymore; this is my dad's shit that he has to deal with. Not mine. Now if you'll excuse me I've got better things to do with my time." Tony growls, getting frustrated that he won't just be left alone and everyone just assumes he was in on it with his father. Is that the reputation he has now?

"So you want to get rid of him? Break away from the Stark name? Instead of going round to each reporter and telling them that why don't you just bite the bullet and come and speak to us? Then you can tell everyone how wonderful you are compared to your old man and how you're nothing like him and then people will forget about it and keep seeing you as the genius ladies' man." She offers, knowing that she's won and he won't be able to resist that offer.

"Will you be doing the interview?" He asks after a pause.

"Of course."

"Hm. Well if you wear that tight, low cut, red dress then I may just consider it." Tony smirks to himself.

Natasha giggles, one that's slightly forced that she uses on the show. "We'll see. Someone will contact you during the week with all the details. See you soon, Tony." She hangs up before he's able to reply with something witty or seductive; not that she would have fallen for it. Natasha is known for her reservation in the world of show business; it may be near impossible to find out anything about her past or personal life but most people are sure she's not as innocent as she makes out.

After hanging up Tony debates whether he should tell Pepper and Rhodey. They'll find out either way. But then again if Tony doesn't tell them now he knows he'll just have to deal with them on the day and he doubts he'll be able to handle that. Now they're practically dating although they still won't admit it Rhodey will take her side over his and then Tony will have no chance in winning the argument. Instead of having them come round he decides to text them asking them to go on Skype; that way he'll be able to see their faces so he knows what they _really_ think of the idea and he can hang up when he gets sick of having to explain himself or justify why he's doing it.

He's not waiting long when a call comes through from Rhodey; which surprises him as it's usually Pepper who is the first to get on and interrogate Tony. What surprises him more is when he answers the call he sees Pepper on the screen with Rhodey; with her usually pale complexion tinged with a pink blush and Rhodey's shirt round the wrong way. A smirk plays on his lips; he goes to ask a question about what they've been doing when he catches the look on Pepper's face. She clearly doesn't want to talk about it but that doesn't mean they'll get away with it.

"So what's wrong, Tony?" Rhodey asks in a bored and slightly irritated tone. He's clearly not happy that whatever they were doing before his text was interrupted. Tony will probably have to make up for that.

"Nothing, really. I met up with Loki today and I've been asked to do an interview on TV in a couple of weeks." He shrugs, it's not really a big deal, and he just felt like he should let them know.

"You said no right? To the interview?" Pepper asks, worried that her friend has done something stupid.

"Well… I was _going_ to say no."

"What? Tony? What are you thinking?!" She sighs, "at least you told Loki who you are, right? He shouldn't get any nasty surprises…"

"Funny thing about that, Pep, that's another thing I was going to do but didn't _quite_ get round to it…" He replies, smiling, bracing himself for the screaming that's about to come his way. He does want to tell Loki, he really does and he had every intention of doing it today; he just didn't find the right moment.

"You didn't tell him?! Why didn't you tell him?! He needs to know! What's going to happen when you do this interview and he sees it and then feels betrayed that you never told him?!" Pepper loses control and Rhodey is there beside her reminding her to breathe; to calm down and just listen to what he has to say.

"Look, I've still got two weeks to tell him and I'll do it. I promise." He reassures, not for her peace of mind but because he doesn't want to hurt Loki. He doesn't want to be like Howard and he won't let it happen.

"Why did you even agree to do it, Tony? You said you'd never talk to them, that it's none of their business." Rhodey asks, remembering all the rants that Tony has had over the bastard reporters and how he'll never give them an interview again after what they've done to his reputation.

"Because I'm fucking sick of people assuming I knew about it and tried to help cover it up. Even though the police issued a statement saying I wasn't involved people don't seem to believe it. All I have to do is one interview telling everyone how I've disowned Howard and I'm not a threat to humanity like he is and everything will be fine."

"You really believe that?"

"It's better than nothing; I want people to know that this is all Howard's fault, he's the monster and I'm innocent in all of this. Plus I've got Natasha Romanoff to wear that sexy red number she has." He smirks and Rhodey laughs in approval.

"As long as you know what you're doing…"

"I do and by the way do you know what you're doing or do you want some tips?" Tony grins as he watches the confused expressions on his friends face.

"Tips for what?"

"On sex or at least how to cover up properly; would you really pass up advice from the expert?"

"What are you talking about Tony? We're not even there yet." Pepper tries to lie; but as her blush returns and her words come out mumbled even she can tell it's not convincing.

"Mhm. Okay. So would you like to explain why you looked like you'd just had some vigorous _exercise_ when you answered the call? Or why Rhodey's shirt has been back to front for the entirety of this conversation? I know he's not a genius like me but even he knows how to dress himself." Tony teases and somehow managing to keep a straight face as his friends realise they've been rumbled.

"We'll speak to you later, Tony. Go and reveal yourself to your boyfriend." Rhodey grumbles.

"But, James, we're not even there yet!" He gasps, pretending to be scandalised and mocking Pepper in the process. This comment was only greeted by them vanishing off the screen as they disconnected the call.

Tony stares at the screen smiling to himself. It takes ten minutes before he starts to doubt his decision in agreeing to the interview.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**A/N:** And here's the regularly scheduled update :D Have a lovely Easter! Also these past two chapters have just been fillers really but I promise you the next one will be interesting!

**Chapter Sixteen**

Loki is sitting in his room, waiting for a knock on the front door from Bruce. It feels like it's been years since he last saw him, even though it was only a week, maybe more. Although since his last visit so much more has happened; it won't be a surprise to Bruce as Loki and his parents have been keeping him updated but he's looking forward to talking to someone about it that won't judge him or look at him disapprovingly. Even though it is only the other day that he had the conversation with Thor, he seems to have taken notice in what he said. He's left alone more now and if Thor sees him on his phone he's stopped asking who it is he's talking to. Tony asked to meet up again with him today because he wanted to talk to him, there was something about the message that worried Loki but he calmly reminded himself that he's just still not used to the way people talk through text and that there's nothing to be worried about. His thoughts are disturbed when the anticipated knock on the door happens and he makes his way downstairs.

Frigga opens the door and takes Dr Banner into the living room, making polite small talk as Loki comes down the stairs. When he walks into the living room he sees Dr Banner unpacking the bag he brought with him with his notepad; in his trademark green coat which still puts a small smile on Loki's face. Frigga asks them both if they'd like any food or drink but really Loki just wants to be able to talk to Bruce without any more delays or interruptions ; it's almost as if Bruce has read Loki's mind when he declines her offer. She leaves the room and informs the others of his presence so they're not disturbed. This is a time where Loki can talk freely without having them listen in, of course Bruce tells them some things and Loki is aware of that but he still knows he can trust Bruce in what he chooses to reveal. Despite having a few things to discuss with him and no doubt the doctor has questions too it takes a few moments of silence before a single word is spoken.

"So how have you been, Loki?" Bruce asks, in the same calm tone as he always does.

"Okay…"

"Settled in better now?"

"I think so…"

"Just think?" He questions and Loki can sense the concern. It's a concern that he appreciates one that's worried about him but not in an over the top way like he receives from his family. Then again they only do it to compensate for their actions in the first place.

Loki sighs; he's still struggling to voice what he feels. He's never really had to before; no one really cared about how he was feeling and if he was ever asked he now knows the true reason behind it. "I just still have some problems with Thor… And father doesn't seem to acknowledge me at all. I've got more attention from a stranger than I have from him, isn't that wrong?"

"What kind of problems are you having with Thor?"

"He's just… He won't leave me alone. Everywhere I look he's there, with that smile… Following me around like a lost dog. I don't need him by my side every five minutes and I've told him this. I've shouted at him, I've spoken to him normally… I think he's got the message but I don't know." He shrugs, in a resigned way indicating that he doubts his relationship will ever change with Thor and that he should give up trying if this last attempt doesn't produce long term results.

"I'm sure he'll listen to you. He's just trying to make up for all that lost time but all in one go, it seems. Most older brothers are like that to their younger siblings, particularly if their younger sibling is a sister."

"But I'm not a sister, yet he treats me like one. I'm a brother as he_ always_ insists on calling me it."

"I know and he knows that too but he believes your frame of mind to be delicate so treats you that way." Bruce explains, chuckling a little at Loki's words.

"But I'm not delicate or female so there really isn't any need for it at all." Loki huffs at Bruce's laughing.

"And he'll learn that in time… Trust me, Loki. But you also mentioned your father? Has Odin not spoken at all to you since you've arrived or…?"

"Not really… He's only spoken to me about a couple of things. He asked if I wanted to do a family interview with them for a local newspaper. I'm not sure why it's really necessary for people to know about what happened. For strangers to ask me questions when it's not going to help at all; it still would have happened and I still would have gone through it. It's as though they're glamourising it and they shouldn't be. There's nothing glamorous or interesting about living like that…"

Bruce is stunned at all the information that Loki willingly gives him. He's always been able to get more out of the patient than most people but never this much, not without prompting after every other sentence. Even though he doesn't think that he's not doing well or progressing he clearly is if he's able to talk as freely as this and to even agree to do an interview.

"It is interesting to people that have never experienced it. Like how we live is interesting to you even though it's normal for us-"

"But no one's asking you to do an interview are they?"

"No, you're right there. But who would want an interview with a boring doctor?"

"I would. I'd rather listen to your story than recount my own." Loki shrugs, looking down at his feet.

"Well you'd be the only one." Bruce smiles, "it doesn't sound as though you want to do it?" Loki just gives him a look and Bruce knows the answers. "Then why did you agree to go along with it?"

"Because… Because Odin asked me to. It's the first time he's really spoken to me and I just felt like I had to do it. I know I don't and I had Thor telling me that… Telling father that I _wasn't ready_ as if he knew how I'm really feeling. I just wanted to do it for him, to show them that I can do it and that I'm not as fragile as they think. That I'm capable of doing things like this."

"Are you sure you are ready for it though? I can see you've made a lot of progress since coming here but I don't want you to have to force yourself and then go backwards. You're doing this to please other people when you need to be putting yourself and your health first." Bruce says, concerned that Loki might be pushing himself further than he needs to. It's as though Loki thinks that doing this he will get a relationship with his father like Thor does; but Bruce can't see that happening. From what he's been told about him from various people that know him he's worried that Loki is trying to get something that he never will. Which will just make things worse when it doesn't go his way.

"Why does everyone think I'm unable to do this? That I don't know my own mind?" He asks becoming irritated.

"That's not why I asked. I believe you can do it, you're eloquent enough and as I've said you're doing really well. I just want to make sure that you're sure and that this won't hurt you in anyway. It's my job as your doctor, and your friend, to keep an eye on you and make sure you're okay." He tries to explain, although he understands why Loki is mistrusting.

"Well I believe I can. I went out the other day and allowed Tony to ask me questions and that went okay."

"Tony?"

"Someone Thor and I… Bumped into at the mall…"

"Tell me about him." Bruce gently orders, leaning back in his chair still making notes as he's talking.

"He's… Interesting. Quite arrogant and blunt but he's funny, and I just find it so easy to converse with him. He doesn't just want to know about the experiment he likes to talk to me about other things to… I feel somewhat normal when I'm in his company or when I'm messaging him. Thor tries to do the same and I know he does he just doesn't do it properly… He does it in a way that I know I'm not like him because of what happened. Tony doesn't do that and unlike Thor's _friends_ he's not easily offended." Loki explains, struggling in parts not knowing how to describe him.

Bruce smiles softly, he's never heard Loki speak of someone like this before. Loki has told him bits and pieces about his family members but only when asked and prompted. A feeling of pride settles in his chest; Loki is slowly making friends and gaining an identity. Although he may still have many issues to work out with his family, which Bruce will guide him through, he's pleased that he has someone else that he can go to.

"It sounds like you get on with him. That he could be a good friend to you."

"That's what I think, but _they_ don't. They deprived me of a normal life, a normal upbringing, yet they believe that they can dictate who I should or shouldn't associate myself with. How dare they think they have the right to do that?"

"I know this isn't what you want to hear or what you agree with but they're trying to protect you. Regardless of upbringing parents do that to their children-"

"So they think that Thor's friends are people that he should be surrounding himself with? Because if that's true then I don't believe they're people of sound judgement."

A chuckle escapes Bruce's lips; another thing he likes is the personality that Loki is developing. It wasn't too long ago when he was the quiet, vulnerable boy locked up in a room. "Parents don't always see people how you see them; they probably were more charming to them than they were to you."

"I can't imagine Tony being one to change for the benefit of others. If people don't approve of him he doesn't seem to mind or care; he just shrugs it off and carries on. From what he has told me some people can't handle that or find it frustrating, and he's incredibly stubborn so it can be, but it's grown on me."

"You feel you have someone to keep up with you? To challenge you?"

"I think so… I just enjoy having him around." Loki shrugs, there's no other way he can explain it. He's drawn to his personality and to how he carries himself; he's not like all the other people that Loki is around and it's refreshing to him. "But one thing confuses me."

"What's that?"

Loki pulls his phone from his pocket and shows him a message from Tony. "What does that face thing mean at the end of the message?"

"That's an emote or emoticon. And that one is just like… A cheeky face… To tease or to be seductive." Bruce attempts to explain.

"And how is he using it here?"

Bruce laughs, "I think he's just teasing you or joking with you. I don't think he intended it in a seductive way."

They talk for a while longer, going into more detail about what has already been brought up and the trivial things that Bruce has to ask about. He makes many notes and compares how he is now to how he was from his last visit. The Odinson's have told Bruce how he's been coming along but it's different from seeing it for himself. There are things that they haven't mentioned or probably wouldn't have even noticed. Despite how Loki's improved and how he has let off some steam on Thor he's still worried that there's more to come. From his experience there is always a calm before the storm and from what Loki's been through he's expecting one violent storm. He doesn't want it to happen, far from it, but it could be beneficial for him and he will be there to help him.

Before Bruce leaves, he's summoned to the dining room where Odin and Frigga are sitting. It's been arranged that after each meeting he's also to talk with them to make sure that they are coping and know the best ways to help Loki. They also feel they need to be told some things about their son, they don't want to be kept in the dark if there's something's wrong. Bruce can't tell them everything that he's told, he has to respect Loki's privacy but if he ever feels he needs to intervene then he will go to his parents – he's hoping that stage will never come. Bruce sits at the table and has his notepad on the table ready to add to it. There's something about sitting in their presence that makes him feel on edge and uncomfortable. He's felt it since the first time they met but it's got worse since Loki has been here. Bruce makes a mental note to get Steve Rogers to do more research into the family, particularly Odin.

"So what has he said?" Odin asks, not caring if he's being blunt.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I can't disclose that with you. I'm here to talk to you about his progress and if you need to tell me anything." Bruce explains, slightly taken aback by the man's question.

"I have a right to know what he says."

"And he has a right to talk to me in private. If he says anything that I'm concerned about then I will come to you but until then anything he says to me shall stay between us. I'm sure you can respect that."

"Of course!" Frigga says, almost too quickly to stop Odin from making another comment. "He needs someone to talk to that he can trust. You do what you need to."

"How would you say his relationship is with Thor? And you both?"

"Um, things can be tense at times. But that's understandable although Thor does take it to heart and struggles with it. He can be too… Over the top, he's just so excited having a brother around. I try to get him involved in things around the house but I give him his space too." Frigga smiles, it's almost as though she's scared of him; of him judging her parenting skills.

"Yeah, Loki mentioned something similar." He nods. "How is your relationship with your son?" Bruce directs at Odin.

Odin is silent for a moment; staring at Bruce. "It's fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yes. It's fine."

"Do you spend any time with him?"

"I'm very busy with work." Bruce nods again and keeps writing. Odin's eye is drawn to the pen dancing along the paper, trying to look at the words that are being formed. The doctor decides that he's not going to get anything from Odin; he's behaving like a child. Sulking because Bruce refused to give in to him; he's not used to people saying no to him and he does everything he can to stop it from happening.

"So how do you feel about Loki making friends? Have you met Tony?" He quickly changes the subject.

"Yes we've met Tony, once. I've told Loki he can invite him over to dinner if he'd like but he seems reluctant to do so." Frigga answers.

"Why do you think that is?"

"I don't know, he's quite a private person… I think, maybe, he just wants something to himself for a while."

"Where he's used to his own company and having he's own things he doesn't like to share with others? Regardless of what it is?" Bruce suggests, trying to help her out.

"Yes, yes, that's probably it. He's still got to adjust." Frigga reminds herself, sometimes it's easy to forget that he's not used to everything yet. Loki doesn't talk to her much about it, only if she notices something is wrong and makes the first move.

"Have you noticed any change in Loki since he's been talking to Tony?"

"Um, he seems more comfortable to be around us… Speaks about small issues, general issues but that's about it. He's gone out with him for coffee once so he's more willing to go out of the house."

"That's good, from what you've said and what he said they seem to be getting on well. They could become close and that could really help Loki and with social interaction outside his own family. Help him build trust with others." The doctor clarifies after seeing the look on Odin's face, he doesn't seem convinced that this is a good idea.

"Why is it necessary for them to get any closer? Especially with him. It's because of his father that Loki is like this." Odin snaps.

"What do you mean?"

"This _Tony_ that he has become friends with is Tony _Stark_. He's just going to end up hurt when he finds out so why can't you just persuade him to stop him from seeing Tony? It's only a matter of time before he finds out, especially if he keeps going out in public with him. People are going to notice and start talking." Odin knew he recognised the boy as soon as he saw him so he wasted no time at all into investigating him behind everyone's back.

"Well if that's true then maybe you should warn him? Or speak to Tony to find out his motives?" Bruce advises, confused as to how this could happen.

"Why should I? Loki clearly doesn't want us to get involved and I would appreciate it if you didn't either. Part of being in the real world now is to make your own mistakes, which is what he needs to learn. It will help him be more careful about who he trusts and be a better judge or character." Odin tells him, with a tone to his voice that Bruce can't place but he knows he's subtly trying to threaten him.

"You can't do that to him-"

"He's my son; I can do what I like with him. You will _not_ interfere with this. Just be there for him when everything falls apart as he will need you."

"Odin we can't-" His wife interjects.

"Frigga, this is for the best. It's a harsh lesson but one he needs to learn."

"I can't stand by and just wait for him to be hurt. How can you?" She questions, distressed. She can't let Odin hurt him again.

"It will help him in the long run. Now you will not say anything to him. Neither of you will. He is under my roof and in my care; this is how I want to raise him and you will let me."

"Mr Odinson I-"

"You can't tell us what Loki says to us; therefore you can't tell Loki what we say to you. If you do then that breaches our confidentiality and I can, and will, have you fired for it." Odin warns, the low tone returning and Bruce doesn't have anything to say. What he says isn't strictly true, he knows that this will badly affect Loki and that he should know but he's also starting to see that Odin is ruthless and he'll probably lose his job regardless. From the look on Frigga's face he can see that she won't let him get away with it; maybe it'll be okay if Frigga tells Loki. It might even be better if his mother was the one that handled it.

The conversation is left there and Bruce packs up his things; with an unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach. This wasn't how the meeting was supposed to go. Frigga shows Bruce to the door and before he leaves Loki comes back down to say goodbye. It's almost as if Thor can sense that Frigga wants a moment alone with the doctor as he calls Loki into the living room asking if he wants to watch a film with him or just hang out. They wait until the door has been shut before they carry on their conversation.

"I'll talk to Odin; try to get him to see sense. I'll do everything I can." She reassures him.

"I know you will… Just keep me updated."

"Of course I will, just leave it with me. Thank you for all your help." She smiles. Frigga watches as Bruce drives away. Her heart sinks with the information she has been left with and the task she has ahead of her. She's never been able to change Odin's mind before and she can't bear the thought of having to tell Loki that the only friend he's ever made isn't who he thinks he is.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**A/N: **Firstly I've not been able to reply individually to comments this week but thank you to everyone that sent them! A few people have spoken about who will tell Loki first and I assure you all will be revealed soon! This was my favourite chapter to write, I've never been to New York so there will probably be mistakes but I tried and I hope you enjoy it!

**Chapter Seventeen**

_**Sill on for today? – Tony**_

Since the conversation with Pepper and Rhodey he's been trying to pin Loki down to tell him who he really is. He knows he can't go on much longer hiding it; the press will be on his back again soon (although they have seemed to have calmed down after being told that an exclusive interview will be taking place) which could ruin everything. After being blown off a couple of times for various different reasons he has thought about just texting Loki; every time that thought appears in his mind he can just hear Pepper screaming at him that it's the wrong thing to do. It seems as though his own conscious has been replaced by Pepper, which he's not quite sure is a good thing or a bad thing. They had agreed that they would go out today but Tony's worried that Loki is going to back out again and he can't afford to put this off any longer.

_**Of course. What is it we're doing? – Loki**_

Even though it was the answer Tony wanted he still feels anxiety swirl around his body. Maybe getting to know Loki like this wasn't such a good idea after all. He shakes his head at the doubt. No, he's Tony Stark. Everything he does is right and he always knows what he's doing. Right? He tells himself that all along he's been doing the right thing and that it'll work out in the end. It's better than not doing anything at all and not even attempting to make amends for what Howard did. At least it shows he cares and he isn't as heartless as people believe him to be – a trait that he would have picked up from the Stark name.

_**It's a surprise ;) – Tony**_

What Tony is going to tell him is something that he should do in private; however he won't get privacy at his house with the blonde giant on his back and bringing Loki back to Stark mansion could really freak him out. Something that Tony isn't ready to handle. It took a while for Tony to decide where he was actually going to take him; he didn't want to be sitting down again as people are more likely to notice them if they're just sitting in a café again. He wants to be out in the open where Loki can have his space if he needs it (and he will most probably need it) and so they can keep walking and avoid people who want a photograph.

_**I do not like surprises. – Loki**_

Tony chuckles, maybe his stubborn behaviour is starting to rub off on Loki. Not that it's a bad thing, unlike everyone else around him; Tony struggles to find flaws with his personality. He knows he's not perfect, but to him he is. The genius is quite pleased at his plan on where to take Loki; somewhere new that his family wouldn't have thought to take him and he wouldn't have thought to ask about. Maybe he doesn't know about them? No, that can't be it. Loki may have been isolated for years but he's still intelligent and knows more about the world than people give him credit for.

_**You'll like this one! Promise! – Tony**_

_**Do not make promises you can't keep. – Loki **_

_**I'll make it up to you if you really hate it ;) – Tony**_

_**And how do you propose to do that? – Loki **_

_**However you want ;) – Tony**_

_**Please stop using that face. It's making me uncomfortable. – Loki**_

It's not often that a text renders Tony speechless. He's stumped for a reply, how can he reply to that? Is he being serious or is he joking? He types out a series of different response, reading each of them to try and decide which one is the most appropriate to send. His phone vibrates in his hand with a message to help make up his mind.

_**;) – Loki**_

Tony sighs in relief and laughs at how stupid he was being. _Cheeky little shit_; he's going to have to be alert today if he's sending messages like this. He looks at the time, he taps out a quick reply saying he'll be on his way soon and gets dressed.

**x-x-x**

_**Still on for today? – Tony**_

Thor looks over at his brother upon hearing the sound of his phone. It doesn't seem to stop vibrating of late and he knows there's only one person responsible for that. He hates having to bite his tongue and not ask about it; especially since overhearing hushed conversations between his parents with the name 'Tony' being the only thing he can clearly hear. The only thing that Loki has told him is that Tony has invited him out today. Well. Tony's invited him out many days but Loki has always been unavailable. As much as he's worried about Loki's wellbeing and is suspicious about Tony he can't help but feel happy when he sees his brother smiles at his phone.

_**Of course. What is it we're doing? – Loki**_

It hasn't been Loki's fault that he's not been able to go and see Tony, every time he's asked something important has come up and he can't put his family second (although they didn't seem to find it hard to put him second or not even bother with him). Even though he's staring at the screen he can tell Thor is watching him. He doesn't want Thor to come again, it was useful last time for when he just wanted to leave but he wants to have some sort of freedom. One of the things that Bruce had said was that if he felt up to it he should go somewhere without his family; to get some more independence and explore the world around him.

_**It's a surprise ;) – Tony**_

Loki sighs in annoyance. Why is it so impossible for Tony to answer a simple question? Even Thor is capable of that and following easy instructions. A part of Loki doesn't know why he's so surprised that Tony is being difficult, it is a trait of his that he's not afraid to have on show.

"Is something wrong?" Thor asks quietly, almost as though he's too scared to ask a question; Loki doesn't blame him he has been quite harsh to his brother. The chat with Bruce has helped him realise that, although he isn't sorry – he needed his space.

"Tony's being difficult." Loki grumbles.

"How do you mean?"

"He won't tell me where we're going today."

"Oh. Why not?"

"He says it's a surprise. I don't like surprises. I just want to know."

"Well tell him, although you are sounding like a child." Thor laughs; he's never heard his brother sulk before and never thought it's something he'd do.

_**I do not like surprises. – Loki**_

"I'm not a child."

"I didn't say you were, brother, I simply said you're sounding like one." Thor points out, with a smug feeling spreading through his chest that he's the one to correct Loki for once.

"Well I wasn't around here as a child so how would you know?" Loki snaps but his face quickly softens when he sees his brother's reaction. "I'm sorry, Thor, I didn't mean to…" It's the first time Loki has apologised to Thor for something like this. Thor's face relaxes into an understanding smile and he tips his head in acknowledgement.

"It's okay, brother. I understand you may be anxious about going out again. I will be there with you, like before, it'll be fine." Thor reassures, but it's not what Loki wants to hear. A small part of him is anxious about going out again but that doesn't stop him from wanting to go out with Tony alone; away from Thor's gaze.

"I'm fine… Thor, Dr Banner is happy for me to go out on my own. I would be grateful if you let me do it today?" Loki asks, managing his words and tone this time, careful not to offend his older brother.

"It is up to mother and father, Loki. You'll have to ask them."

Loki makes a face but nods.

_**You'll like this one! Promise! – Tony**_

_**Do not make promises you can't keep. – Loki **_

_**I'll make it up to you if you really hate it ;) – Tony**_

_That's the second time he's done that. _Loki thinks to himself, trying to think of a way to stop it.

_**And how do you propose to do that? – Loki **_

_**However you want ;) – Tony**_

_Third time. I really need to get him to stop this…_

_**Please stop using that face. It's making me uncomfortable. – Loki**_

Loki re-reads his message; maybe he's being a little mean. Then again he could have some fun with it. There's a delay in messages, maybe he should make it more obvious that he's only messing around with him. But how would he do that…? He pauses for a few more moments before finally adding…

_**;) – Loki**_

That should do it. And it does. Quickly Loki is messaged with a time that he'll be picked up at. He tells Thor that he'll be going out shortly and goes back to his room to get ready.

**x-x-x**

Half an hour later Tony turns up outside Loki's house. In this time, Loki has managed to get ready and talk to Frigga (as Odin was working) about going out alone. Not wanting him to lose his confidence or time with his friend Frigga agreed to letting him going out with just Tony; however she insisted that he texts her and Thor where is he is and the moment he needs them (if he does need them). After saying goodbye, Loki leaves the house and gets into Tony's waiting car.

"Hey, Loks." Tony greets, beaming at the raven haired boy beside him.

"Hello. So, are you going to inform me as to where we're going now?" Loki asks, straight to the point as ever.

Tony chuckles and starts driving again. "You'll see."

The car ride is filled with Tony talking about various different things that Loki doesn't recognise with music that Loki's never heard blasting from the radio. From time to time Tony sings along, out of tune but he doesn't seem to notice or care. If Loki knew any better about social interaction he would put Tony's rambling down to nerves; but he doesn't know any better and leaves him to it, thinking it's just what he's like with everyone. He didn't seem to shut up last time, either. They arrive at a car park with lots of people around. Loki looks out the window, there seems to be more people here than there is at the mall.

"C'mon." Tony smiles, getting out of the car. Loki is hesitant at first but follows him, curious to see where he is. He didn't really take any notice of the signs as they came down; he was too busy listening to Tony talk and sing. Walking round they come to an entrance and Loki stares at it, confused.

"Why have you brought me to a zoo?" He asks, finally realising where Tony has taken him.

"I thought you'd like to go somewhere different." Tony shrugs with a sheepish smile on his lips.

Loki looks at Tony confused for a moment before laughing. "It's certainly different… Although it reminds me of some awful cliché date…"

"_Date_?" Tony smirks, "it's not strictly a date but, hey, if that's what you want I aim to please."

"It is _not_ what I want. This isn't a date; now get it out of your head." Loki says sternly with a blush creeping onto his face.

"Tell yourself whatever you want, Loki, baby." Tony chuckles.

"Don't ever call me that again. Why do people feel it's suddenly appropriate to liken me to infants?" Loki growls.

"Because you're so cute." Tony replies, only half sarcastically, although you wouldn't be able to tell from the tone. Loki rolls his eyes and follows Tony as they go to collect their tickets. Tony refuses to let Loki pay for any of it which starts to make him think of it as a date again. As the thought returns so does the blush but Tony doesn't ask what's done it this time, he just smiles and guides him through the entrance. "Where to first?"

"I don't even know what's here, Tony." Loki points out, shaking his head.

"Well what animal have you always wanted to see? Like in real life, not in some book or film or whatever."

Loki pauses; he hasn't really thought about animals since he was a child, as he grew up he started to think about different things. As a child there was nothing he wanted more than to just be in a world like one of his picture books, with large talking animals to keep him company, but as he got older he got used to reality… That animals don't talk and you're not really supposed to have them for your friends and the fact that it was unlikely he was ever going to leave the room anyway. He doesn't realise how long he has been silent and staring until Tony squeeze his wrist.

"You okay, Loks?"

Green eyes shift to Tony's deep brown ones. "I'm fine. I uh… I'd just like to see them all…"

"Then we'll see them all. I've only been here once and that was years ago so it'll be nice to see them all too."

Loki nods and stays quiet, he lets Tony lead him round. They collect a map; Loki is shocked at how large the zoo is, he doubts they'll manage to see it all but then again that means they'll be out the house for longer than he thought. The first enclosure they come to is 'JungleWorld' with the heat clinging to their skin as they walk in. Loki is taken aback by what's before him, it doesn't feel like he's in the same country anymore; it's like his childhood heaven. Exotic noises fill the silence between him and Tony, not that either of them mind, Loki prefers it – it's better than the sounds of the city. Tony beams and he points up into the trees where various monkeys are effortlessly swinging from the trees. Their bodies and limbs twisting in impossible ways as they chase each other through the branches. Tony loves watching the animals; the neglected child inside of him is brimming with excitement however he manages to move his eyes back to his friend and finds that the look of joy and wonder is a much nicer thing to watch.

Tony tears Loki away from his spot and they walk further into the enclosure, still looking up in the trees the taller boy spots something he's never heard of before; something that he's never come across in his books. To him it looks like a small bear, mostly brown with distinctive yellow patches, as he looks closer he notices a smaller version of the same animal. He smiles at how protective the mother (or father) animal is over it, curled around the baby and guiding it along the large, thick, branch.

"What is that?" Loki asks pointing.

"Uuh that? That is a um… Um…" Tony hesitates, trying to find a plaque or anything to give him a clue as to what it is. He's supposed to be a genius yet he can't even identify an animal in a zoo.

"You don't know, do you?"

"Of course I-" He tries to convince him but the look on Loki's face stops him from going any further, he's not going to accept any of the lies that he's going to try and tell. "Alright, I don't. But neither do you."

"Yes but _I_ have a reason. What's your excuse?"

"I'm a genius in physics and mechanics not biology. And I wasn't really brought here as a child." Tony shrugs, eyes moving back to the animals. "H… Dad never left his work to take me here and Jarvis, our butler and my like… Second dad, brought me here once to try and salvage my childhood but… Well, Dad wasn't too happy that someone of my intelligence was taken to something as 'trivial and pointless' as here."

"Why not your mother…? You've never mentioned her."

Tony's body tenses, how could he not mention his mother? He doesn't have many memories of her but there's still more than he has of talking to his father and they're happier. The familiar feeling of guilt returns, guilt of not mentioning his mother, of not even visiting her grave since before MIT.

"You don't have to-" Loki starts, worried that he's overstepped his mark… Not that that's something Tony ever worries about.

"She died." Tony says quickly before Loki starts beating himself up about it. "I was really young… I only remember a couple of things. Jarvis spoke about her a lot, showed me old home movies and photos so… That helped…"

"I'm sorry to hear that…" Loki says quietly. He was expecting an answer like that but it still doesn't make it any easier to hear. Growing up without parents allows him to sympathise with him being alone, but at least he has his parents know whereas Tony's lost everything. It's as though they've done the same life and journey only in the reverse way from each other. After being with his family, even for a fairly short while, he can't imagine not having them there. He doesn't know how he even managed to survive on his own, but you don't miss what you never had.

"It's not your fault."

Loki nods not knowing what to say, which hurts him more than anything as he doesn't want his friend to be like this – to be upset and there's nothing Loki can do to help. During the experiment he never thought if he did make friends it would be this quick, he was locked up by a man, who's to say that he could trust anyone else? But now being on the outside he has been able to make some kind of bond quickly with people. Tony didn't have to help him that day, give him his number or offer to take him out – but he did because he wanted to, he wanted to help and he wanted to be nice. Sometimes he just wants to return the favour but he doesn't know enough about his friend to do something nice for him; he still doesn't know much about the area and he doesn't want (or _need)_ Thor's help.

"C'mon, we've got a lot to see and there's another monorail ride leaving in a few minutes."

They carry on wandering around the jungle until they reach the exit, Loki's slightly disappointed to be leaving the area but he swiftly reminds himself that they have the whole day ahead of them and many more areas to explore. After being denied a life in the real world it has made him curious and he tries to find out as much as he can about everything and wants to spend as much time as possible not cooped up in the same building for hours on end (although there are times where there's nothing he wants more are some peaceful alone moments in his bedroom. They keep walking until they reach the line for the wait for the monorail. It's standing in the line where Loki discovers what an advantage it is to be tall; he's never really needed it before or thought about it but now he towers over many people in the queue allowing him to see when they can get on. Beside him Tony impatiently stretches up now and then and bounces on the balls of his feet. It's not before long when they're finally allowed on.

In the monorail car they manage to get in the front seat, squashed in between two mothers and their clingy children. As the guide goes through the instructions and does a brief introduction Loki watches the mother beside him with her child; the child looks as excited as him and overjoyed that he has his mum there to share it with him. It amuses him to see the child lean forward and grab the bar wanting to get a closer look but it's a bittersweet moment as he's reminded of how late he is to do even the most simple activities. The car starts moving and the children squeal in excitement; Loki is staring, finally seeing animals that he recognises. His gaze is broken as Tony inches closer, his thigh slightly on top of Loki's and his chest leaning into his shoulder.

This whole trip was supposed to be Tony revealing his secret to Loki but it's not going the way he had planned it. He never thought he was going to do it straight away; he wanted to give him a good time first… But he didn't think he'd bring his mum up or end up half sitting in his lap. What he was going to tell his friend was probably going to upset him already, make him feel betrayed and getting closer to him (emotionally _and_ physically) isn't going to make it any easier for him to accept. There's a voice in the back of his head telling him to just come out and say it; there's another one telling him to move and put up with the annoying kid and then there's another one telling him to stay where he is. After internally arguing with himself he decides to stay where he is. He doesn't want that kid's sticky fingers all over him and Loki hasn't exactly pushed him away either; instead of moving he simply relaxes into the young pale man, feeling his chest and shoulders move ever so slightly with his breathing.

"Comfortable?" Loki asks bemused at his friend's behaviour.

"Yeah I am, you're surprisingly comfy for a bony boy." He teases, not moving to look at him and keeping his eyes on the landscape in front.

Loki chuckles and shakes his head at the answer; out of the corner of his eye he can see the mother next to him frowning disapprovingly, subtly shifting away from them. This confuses Loki more than Tony's actions. Why look at them like that? Is it unusual for two friends to be seen out together? His thoughts go back to the two girls that were staring at them in the café. Are they doing something wrong? No. No they can't be, Tony wouldn't be doing it otherwise… Or would he? He's not exactly someone to play by the rules.

As they're coming round to the last stretch of the journey the woman on Tony's side finally calms her daughter down and takes her away from Tony. The boy notices but he makes no effort to move, he quite enjoys where he is.

"I'm so sorry." The woman, around her 30s, apologises – embarrassed by her child's actions.

Tony turns his head to look at her, "oh it's fine." He goes to rest his head back on Loki when the woman gasps.

"You're Tony S-"

"Yeah I'm Tony, hi." He interrupts. No, no, _no_ this can't happen now. Not when he's so close to doing it himself. He can't let this stranger ruin it, although that was always a possibility because of who he is.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry to hear what your father did… It's so-"

"Shit. I know. I'd rather not talk about it." He gives as short answers as possible, hoping she'd get the message and the conversation will end.

"Oh. Oh, I completely understand. It must be such a hard time and a horrible thing to find out." She replies, flustered at his bluntness and starting to ramble.

"Yeah."

Loki looks down at his friend, he knew his relationship with his father was bad but he didn't know how bad, or even how that woman knew. He surveys the woman who clearly wants to keep talking to him and find out more about the situation – now that she's brought it up Loki can't deny that he's not curious to know more about it. Her eyes meet Loki's and she gasps again, her hand flying up to her face to cover her mouth.

"Oh my goodness!" _Is that the only phrase she knows?_ Loki thinks to himself bitterly, starting to get angry at the intrusion. "Is that the boy from the-?" She's interrupted by the guide announcing the tour was over. Tony jumps up and grabs Loki's arm to pull him up. As soon as they're allowed off Tony bounds down the stairs, dragging Loki with him without any word of explanation. He understands that though, he's only trying to protect his friend. But he doesn't _want_ protecting; he doesn't _want_ another Thor in his life. He just wants him to be Tony. Once they're clear of the area and the woman isn't in sight Tony let's go of his wrist.

"So, where to now?" He asks as though nothing has happened.

"What was that all about?" Loki answers with a question of his own, he might not have wanted to answer the woman's questions but Loki wasn't a stranger.

Physically, Tony doesn't pause or stop completely he keeps walking although it's like his brain has stopped. His mouth opens a few times trying to form words, an explanation, an excuse, anything. Tony wants to tell him, he really does, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to but it just doesn't come. He promises himself that just because he's not going to tell him now it doesn't mean he's not going to leave it completely; maybe do it before they leave.

"It's a long story… Let's go and get some food." Tony says and he doesn't say any more about it, Loki leaves it assuming that he'll tell him when they're eating.

After walking past a few more exhibits and enclosures they come to a food area; they buy some hot dogs and chips and sit down at an empty picnic bench. Loki examines his food; he's never had a hot dog before. He shifts it in his hands trying to figure out the best way to eat it, Tony watches amused not taking a bite out of his just to see how Loki manages. Loki survey's the area; he spots people eating them and imitates them. Tony smiles watching him and joins him. They eat in a comfortable silence but Loki still wants to know what the woman was talking about.

"So… This long story?" Loki inquires once they'd finished.

Tony wipes his mouth with a napkin, masking his sigh. "Alright, but let's walk, I want a closer look at the African stuff."

They both get up from the table and carry on walking. As a child this was Tony's favourite part of the zoo, he loved seeing the lions and Jarvis used to tell him how his personality resembled a peacock's; he always liked to show off. Thankfully he doesn't have to talk right away as Loki is too busy admiring the animal's interactions. He watches them intently, fascinated by every move they make and every sound they produce. Tony moves closer so their shoulders are touching, so he knows they're close enough for him to hear what he has to say without any nosey strangers getting involved.

"My dad… He… He wasn't a very nice man. He hardly acknowledged that I existed; kinda like how yours does now but worse. I rarely saw him, even though we lived in the same house he never left his office and I was never allowed in. I went in once and he uh, he hit me, I never went back in after that. I never knew what he was working on; all I knew was that he thought that it was more important than me. His own son." Tony chuckles bitterly, "Jarvis, my butler practically brought me up on his own. My dad might as well have been dead; it wouldn't have made any difference. He didn't bring me up and I've still ended up alone." He looks at Loki, who still hasn't moved his eyes from the animals. "The thing is… My dad he uh… His work was um… Loki?" He asks when he notices tears forming in Loki's eyes. Has his story been that emotional to him?

Loki sniffs and shakes his head. "I'm fine."

"The more you tell me that, the less I believe you. Tell me what's wrong."

"It's stupid." He mumbles shaking his head.

"It's not if it's upset you. Was it something I said?"

"For once this isn't about you, Tony." Loki replies, half-heartedly trying to make a joke. "All of this… All of this is my life up until now, isn't it? Locked away from the rest of my kind… Kept in a room… An _enclosure_ to be watched and studied." His eyes fill up again; his velvet voice starts to waver and break with each word. "But even these animals had a family. They had company. They weren't alone, or abandoned by their parents. Even _animals_ are cared for better than I was; more _important_ than I _am_."

"Oh, shit. Loki, I'm so sorry I didn't… I didn't think… I thought you'd… Oh, shit." Tony gasps not knowing what to say, how to even string a single sentence together. How could he have been so stupid? He wraps his arms around the taller boy, trying to comfort him. As a child he never received much so now he doesn't really know how to deal with it with other people. "You are more important than those animals, Loki. The person who did all of that to you was just some fucked up bastard who should rot for what he did. You have a family now, Loki and you have me which is pretty awesome as I'm pretty awesome."

Loki allows himself to be held by Tony, listening to everything he says. His words stop and Loki doesn't try to fill the silence, letting his words sink in. A warmth spreads through him as the words replay in his mind; the feeling that he's no longer alone and someone outside his family actually cares about him. It takes a moment for him to realise that he's staring at Tony and his brown eyes are starting straight back. They're closer than they ever have been before but not as close as they could be. Do all friends feel like this around each other or was it something else he'd got wrong? Then again Tony doesn't seem to mind _wrong_… Without thinking anymore about it he leans in closer and allows his lips to meet Tony's.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**A/N:** Thank you for your feedback on the last chapter! I've realised some of the chapters I've posted aren't the edited ones however I don't have the time to make all the changes at the moment, but I will get round to it :) And now to pick up from where we left off…

**Chapter Eighteen**

Tony's usually busy and alert brain freezes when he feels his friend's lips against his own. This is the first time he's not known what to do in a situation like this; every instinct is telling him to kiss back like he usually would but is this what Loki really wants? But if he pulls back then it would seem like he's rejected him and that would just tip him over the edge if he's already feeling emotional and vulnerable. If he's kissing him then surely he wants Tony to return it? But does he mean it in a more than friend's way or does he just not realise that this isn't something friends ordinarily do? As Tony is reckless in everything he does, he figures that it wouldn't hurt to be reckless here too and kisses back. He barely applies any pressure before his lips are released and his eyes flicker open to see what happened. Before him he sees Loki, his usually pale face accompanied by a blush and his eyes wide in fear.

"I… I shouldn't-" Loki chokes out, trying to make sense of what he's just done and how he feels about it. His eyes darting everywhere apart from at Tony, how can he look him in the eyes after what he just did? Perhaps he shouldn't have been taken out of the room; it's obvious that he's not able to have friends without doing something wrong. He'll never understand.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Tony reassures, rubbing Loki's covered arm. Loki jerks slightly at the touch but doesn't pull away from it. "I'm irresistible. You're only human; it was bound to happen sometime." Tony jokes, trying to lighten the situation which has worked with Loki in the past, but this time something is different and his eyes narrow.

"This isn't a game, Tony. This isn't funny." He growls. How can he just brush it off with humour? How can he laugh at him like that? Tony's face drops when Loki snaps at him and he knows that his message has got through to him. Why can't he ever just be taken seriously?

"I know this isn't a game… I was just trying to cheer you up… It's honestly fine. We don't need to speak any more about it if you don't want to." Tony pauses, thinking. "Or we could do it again?"

"Stop it. Just stop it! Stop ridiculing me!"

"Loki I'm not, I swear I'm not. I deal with everything through humour but what I said about doing it again wasn't a joke. I'm here to help you, Loki, in any way I can. I'm your friend and-"

"But friends aren't supposed to do that are they? Or want it?" He snarls, hating himself for making such a stupid mistake.

"Some friends do, it's not unusual for it to happen."

Loki watches Tony, trying to decide whether he's lying to him or not. He wants to believe Tony, but he's scared that he's just doing it to make him feel better… Because he pities him. The atmosphere between them has become something it never has been before, even when they first met, awkward. He doesn't know what to say, he doesn't even know how to feel. The only friend he's been able to make and he's already spoiled it. Perhaps it isn't a bad thing that he always has Thor, or that he tried to help, he would have stopped him from doing what he did.

"Do you want me to take you home…?" Tony doesn't expect his heart to sink so much when Loki nods. This wasn't how he wanted their day to go at all, but how can he tell him who he is now? They need some time to calm down and move on from it before Tony can drop the bomb on him like that. Quietly and with some distance between them they walk back to the car, not really taking in what's around them – Loki mostly staring at the floor, not trusting himself to look at anyone. Especially Tony. The car ride back is practically silent with the radio on as some kind of background noise, even Tony doesn't sing along this time. It may have irritated Loki on the way to the zoo but on the way home he misses his friends humming and out of tune singing. The silence and the atmosphere makes the journey home seem longer than it should be; with all the time they have Loki wants to say something, he wants to put right what he made wrong but he can't bring himself to. The long car ride eventually ends and Tony pulls up outside Loki's house. When Loki goes to get out Tony reaches over and grabs his arm.

"I had a good time today." Tony tells him.

"Don't lie to me, Tony, please. I can't handle any more people lying to me." Loki sighs, sick of it all. Is Tony going to treat him like glass now? Start acting like Thor?

"I'm not lying, you know me, I wouldn't… Well not about this anyway. You're my friend, Loki, right?"

"But friends don't do that. I don't know how to be a friend. I don't deserve them. I don't need them. Now I'll appreciate it if you just left me alone." Loki growls, not really meaning any of it. He leaves the car and storms to his front door; leaving Tony slightly distressed in the car. He sits in the car for a little while, a part of him hoping that he'll come back out and apologise or he figures out what to say and goes to the house to say it. Nothing comes, no Loki, no ideas. Tony finally decides to pull away and goes to get some advice from the one person he needs the most.

**x-x-x**

Even with the jubilant noise Thor and his friends are making, he still jumps at the sound of the door slamming shut and footsteps frantically running up the stairs. His friend's laughter stop when they see the serious look on Thor's face and they instantly know that something is wrong with his brother; that's the only reason he ever has that look these days. They make feeble efforts to try and change the subject and bring the fun back but he's too distracted, and they can see he's longing to go and see what's wrong with Loki. Thinking that maybe they should give him the time with his brother that he wants, Volstagg decides that they should go and meet up with Thor later or another day if he wants. A smile is back on Thor's face but it's not one of complete joy, just content that his friends have thought of him and his needs.

Once they've all gone Thor slowly walks up the stairs; Loki can hear his heavy steps, he knew it was going to come, there was no way Thor could just leave him alone. There's a single knock at the door before the door is carefully opened, revealing his big, blonde, brother in the doorway. Loki curls up tighter on his bed as he comes into the room; readying himself for the questions that will come. He feels a dip in the bed where his brother silently sits beside him. It's clear that Thor doesn't want to make the first move; he doesn't want to be blamed for being overprotective again or have his brother close up. But Loki isn't prepared to talk to him either; Thor claims that he will always love him but how can anyone love a failure like him. Thor stretches out and lies beside him, indicating that he's got all the time in the world and will wait for him to speak.

"Please just leave me alone, Thor." Loki mumbles.

"What happened…? You were so excited to go out. Was it the press again?"

"No, Thor. Please, I've spent hours with people and now I just want to be alone." He sighs, he doesn't want to explain it to him; he can hardly get his head round it himself.

"Could I at least ask where he took you?" Thor asks, Loki never texted him or his mum to tell them where he was which caused her to panic and go and look for him.

"The zoo."

Thor chuckles, "the zoo? I haven't been there for a while."

"Why is that funny? Why is everyone laughing at me today?" If Loki's tone matched the look in his eyes then he would be furious; but instead his voice cracks and sounds defeated. Thor's seen many emotions from his brother but this isn't one of them and it worries him. He knew he shouldn't have let him go out alone, that he should have insisted that he goes with him.

"What do you mean everyone's laughing at you?"

"Nothing."

"No, brother, I want to know. If someone is making you uncomfortable then I want to know."

"Right now _you're_ the only one that's making me feel uncomfortable." Loki snaps, turning on his side with his back facing Thor.

"If Tony has done something to you then you have to tell me."

"Tony hasn't done anything."

"Are you sure? Brother, you know you can tell me. If he's hurt you or done anything to-"

"Are you deaf, Thor? Is your skull so thick that you can't hear my words? I said he hasn't done anything. Now would you please just get out?" Loki interrupts, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down.

"Why are you defending him? If it wasn't the reporters and there was no one else with you then it must have been Tony. I don't know why I ever trusted you alone with him. I knew there was something about him that I didn't trust the moment we met him-"

"Thor-" Loki tries to interrupt again but is quickly cut off by more of Thor's ranting.

"I know you want to make friends Loki but you shouldn't just settle just because you want to be more independent. You can always make new friends you don't need him. I can help you and-"

"_Thor_-" Loki sits up and looks at his brother, who's starting to go red in the face.

"You'll find someone better than him who's more respectful of you. Just tell me what he did and I'll be able to sort it out for you. No one gets away with treating you poorly-"

"THOR!" He screams, "stop! Just stop it! It's nothing he's done! It was my fault! Not his! And if you want to get back at people that treated me poorly then why don't you go and have words with Odin if it means that much to you! Or go and find this _Dr Stark_ who kept me locked up! So by your standards he would have treated me poorly! Now why don't you respect my decision and just get out of my room?!"

Thor stares at Loki, taking in everything he's said – his rage fading and his eyes filling. His words disappear with his anger and he slowly gets off of his brother's bed and leaves the room like as requested. On the other side of the door is Frigga, standing there just as shocked and as upset as Thor, he jumps not expecting to see her – he didn't hear her come home. He opens his mouth to talk to her but she just shakes her head and squeezes his arm. She sends him downstairs and goes into Loki's room where she finds her son slowly breaking.

Frigga sits on the bed beside Loki, not speaking, stroking his hair gently. She doesn't ask him questions and he doesn't offer her anything either but she's happy with that. The mother in her wants to lay with him and hold him to her, just to comfort him but it hurts that she doesn't know if that's what he wants or needs right now. It hurts that she can't identify what he needs; it's as though she's failed him as a mother, in more ways than just letting Odin take control. He slowly shifts onto his other side so he can face her and her hand moves from his hair to his face.

"Did Thor send you in…?" He sighs, just wanting his own space.

"No, but I heard what you said to him. I thought things were getting better between you two…" She replies making a face; things had become so peaceful around the house with them.

"He just hasn't learnt to leave me alone when I ask him to."

"What happened?"

"He thinks Tony has hurt me and the _warrior_ within him is yearning to break him for it. Even though he hasn't done anything. It was all my fault…" He trails off, thinking back to what happened. It feels so long ago despite being the same day.

"What was your fault, darling?" Her voice is so soft and understanding, she could just calm him down with the way her words sound rather than their content, just like Bruce. It's a kind of voice that could make you reveal your deepest secrets even if it wasn't its intention. And that's exactly what Loki does.

"Tony took me to the zoo… We were having fun and I ruined it… I got a bit depressed and he was there, helping me… I took it too far, I didn't mean to but… I kissed him." As he speaks his words get quieter and at the end he buries his head in his pillow.

"What did he do?"

"Told me it was okay and brought me home."

"So why are you so upset? Did something else happen?" She asks, she was expecting him to tell her that Tony said that he never wanted to see him again or would stop being friends with him. So it was a, pleasant, shock when she was told otherwise.

"It just felt like he was making fun of me because of it. Because I'm not used to everything yet. I know he's only been showing an interest because he pities me but I told him that he needn't bother anymore." He says, sitting up and folding his arms.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I already have Thor in my life to do that for me. I don't need another Thor. I will not be a burden. I'm fine on my own. I spent eighteen years on my own, I'm better off that way." Loki snarls, turning away from her. He's done talking about this now. There's only so many times he can go over a situation in his head before he's sent mad, particularly this situation that he's starting to believe he's handled all wrong. Frigga notices his change in body language and strokes his hair again before standing up. Now would be the perfect time to tell him about Tony, who he actually is so he wouldn't get hurt. He's already hurting enough so it wouldn't be that bad to add to it, would it? But being a mother why would she make her son hurt more than he already is? It's clear how much Tony means to him, as a friend or otherwise, he still needs him.

"It's up to you what you do, Loki, but it sounds like you've got a good friend there and I'd hate for you to lose it…" Loki doesn't answer but her words to speak loudly to him. He knows that she's right but doesn't everything end eventually? He thought he was going to be in the room forever but that all changed, why wouldn't this? Knowing she's not going to get a reply from Loki she quietly leaves the room; she knows that he'll do the right thing for him in the end.

**x-x-x**

She walks into the living room and finds Thor sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands. It's strange so see such a large, strong, boy looking so vulnerable and lost. Comfortingly she threads her fingers through his hair and perches beside him. The bear of a boy leans into his mother, he's never been afraid to show his family he loves them regardless of how old he is. She holds him close as she thinks of things to say to change the situation, to make things better. He doesn't say anything, feeling too guilty that he's managed to betray and hurt his brother again. All he's trying to do is help but all he ends up doing is making things worse and they end up back at the beginning.

"What do I do?" His deep, hoarse, voice asks.

"You need to leave him to make his own decisions. We've spoken about this before… I know you want to help and protect him from everything but he's not going to learn if you wrap him up and shield him from the world." As the words leave her mouth it alarms her how much she sounds like Odin. These were the exact words he uses on her whenever he's trying to get his own way with how Loki should be treated. "You need to be there for him when _he needs_ you… And that might happen sooner than we think…"

"What do you mean?" His face taken over with confusion.

Frigga sighs, "I… Just trust me… But he's going to need your help."

"Mother, tell me, what's going on? Is father up to something?"

"Why would your father be up to something?"

"You haven't noticed the way he's been acting? He hardly speaks or even looks at Loki… He has hushed phone conversations that aren't to do with work… And he spends more time working at the main offices rather than here like he used to. How can he not be up to something?"

Frigga observes her son for a moment, what a lot of people assume about Thor is that he's quite simple and oblivious to the world around him; but she knows better. Sometimes he is how people assume but there are times when he isn't; although now she wishes that he wasn't studying his father this way. Everything's hard where he's involved right now and neither of them need their eldest turning against him.

"It's a difficult time for him, Thor. It was a tough decision for us to give Loki up and so to have him back is hard for him. And because we didn't know what was going on this could look bad for him… He'll come round; he just needs time to adjust."

"How much longer is he going to need? Even Loki has adjusted quicker."

Frigga chuckles softly, "I know. I'll speak to Odin; find out what's going on. You just focus on keeping out of your brother's way and your nose out of his business."

Thor tries to force a half smile; he knows that he won't be able to be a good brother to Loki until he ignores the voice in his head that's telling him to protect him. He needs to find something else to focus on; go back to how things were before everything happened and was revealed. Deciding it's best to leave everyone to their own world and problems; he leaves to join his friends, trying to pretend that everything's okay.

**x-x-x**

After Tony decided to pull away there was only one place he wanted to go in his mind. Speaking to Loki about things that haven't even crossed his mind for a while made him want to go there. He's trying to help Loki deal with his family and accept them yet he's nearly forgotten all about his. On the way to his destination his mind is consumed with things to tell them; it's been too long since his last visit and so much has happened. Thinking about it he realises he hasn't been since he got accepted into MIT. He comes to the gates where there's a flower stall set up inside; if he'd thought about it sooner he would have bought something nicer and more expensive, it was the least she deserved and yet all he could give her. He gets back in his car and slowly drives round until he reaches them. Stepping out of his car he carefully makes his way to where they're laid.

For most people, cemeteries are depressing places that should be avoided at all costs, but to Tony it's always been different: Jarvis made sure of that. He spots the familiar graves; when Jarvis died Tony wanted him to be buried next to his mother so that the two people who he always cared about could be together. He had more kind words to say about her than Howard ever did; he stands between the headstones, staring down. Even the genius struggles to get his head round the fact his two favourite people are in the ground; that they're never coming back. Their voices won't be heard again and he'll never be able to feel their tender touch again.

Once he's emptied his bottle of water into the small pot he places the daffodils in there one by one. He feels guilty he didn't bring anything for Jarvis but he knew he wouldn't mind; he knew he would be happy he remembered his mother's favourite flower instead. Jarvis once told him that when Maria was alive she'd make sure there were fresh daffodils in every room when Tony was born so his life would be full of light and happiness. There were phases growing up where Tony cringed at hearing the story but now he appreciates it more than ever and he wishes he could have Jarvis back long enough to tell him it one more time; or his mother to show him first hand. All the flowers are now in the pot and he puts it back where he found it.

Sighing he sits in between them so he can address them both when he speaks. When Jarvis used to bring him, if it was a nice day they'd bring a picnic so Maria could 'join' them for a meal. Like with the story there was a time when he started to find this hard to tolerate; he started to hate fantasising about the idea that there was a possibility that his mother could be there. Instead of wanting Maria with him he wanted to be with Maria; he didn't want her to have to put up with the abuse Howard showed him in his rare appearances. Then again if she was alive would he have worked as much? What is he thinking? Of course he would have, it's how Howard always was and how he will always be. It wouldn't surprise Tony if he managed to find a way to conduct some research in prison.

"Sorry it's been a while." Tony finally starts. He pauses as though he's waiting for a reply; it takes him a moment to remind himself that one won't be coming. "I don't know why I haven't come sooner… Actually, no, that's a lie. I've been out of state for a while at MIT. You would have won your bet, Jarv, I passed summa cum laude. I don't even think Howard knows that, actually. He didn't bother to come to my graduation and we've not spoken about it." He pauses again, not for a response this time but for reflection on what he's just said. It hasn't been until now that he's thought about Howard not knowing that.

"Did you know? Did you know what he was doing in his office? I know, now. I came home and there was police everywhere. I never imagined that he had a kid hidden in the house. How did you let him get away with that? How could you let him neglect two children? Although it's quite funny when you think about it; the child he was neglecting on purpose was actually the child he gave more attention to." Tony laughs bitterly, slightly angry that Jarvis kept it from him. Why did he ask if he knew what was going on? Of course he knew. He was the only person allowed into the office, there's no way he couldn't have known.

"Why didn't you stop him? Did you even try?" He sighs, there's no point in getting angry about it now. It won't change the fact that Howard kept him locked up and it's not as though Jarvis can give him the answers to his questions. Howard would probably know, but he never wants to have to talk to him again. He knew he was never going to forgive him for what he did but any doubt that he may have had about that fact disappeared today. Seeing Loki so upset at the zoo broke Tony's heart, how could his _father_ do that to him? To make him feel that low of himself. To break him. He imagines that that's the face he'll make when Tony tells him what he should have told him all along. How can he put up with seeing that again? It's going to kill him. He's not his father, he can't bear to be the cause of more pain.

"I met him, y'know. Loki, that's his name. I've taken him out a couple of times now. He's… He's a pretty amazing guy, to go through all that and to turn out the way he has. I took him to the zoo today, the one you used to take me to. He loved it, but then he got all depressed and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with all that emotional shit." He makes a face and shakes his head, "sorry mom. I didn't tell him who I was, stupid I know, but I thought it was the right thing. He needed a friend and his brother wasn't making him happy. Does that make me a bad person? Everyone else seems to think that, that I'm doing this for my own selfish reasons. Is it so surprising that I actually want to help someone for a change? That I'm not like Howard who'd just throw money at his problems." Well, Tony being the main _problem_.

"He kissed me." He chuckles again, this time without any spite. "I can imagine your faces. I still remember the look on your face, Jarv, when you caught me with… With… With whatever her name was. There have been many others since then." He pauses and apologises to Maria again. Without having her in his life he never really knew how to treat a woman like a lady. Well, he does, he just always makes sure that he gets something he wants out of it at the end. "I'm not going to use him like those women, though. I can't see myself as being gay though. Just because I find one guy remotely attractive it doesn't make me gay does it? Well more than one guy. Oh well." He shrugs to himself, thinking. "He didn't mean it in the usual way anyway, at least I don't think he did. I don't know what to do about him. And I've got this interview coming up and… I just don't know what I'm doing anymore."

It's the first time that Tony's actually admitted to himself, he doesn't know what he's doing at all. He likes to pretend he does but how would he know how to act in these situations? What to do in these situations? For all this time he's managed to suppress the feeling of ignorance and confusion but now it's all rising and bubbling to the surface. Neglecting it from the start stopped him from realising how much it was affecting him, how _emotional_ it was making him. Just thinking it, saying it aloud, brings tears to his eyes. He's just as lost as Loki is why did he ever think that he would be the one to help him? How could he be so stupid? Now he has someone who's relying on him to be the only one he can trust and he's been deceiving him from the start.

"I wish you were here. To tell me what I need to do." Where are all these tears coming from? Why won't they stop? He finds himself curling up between the graves; trying to think everything through and assess what he should do from here. There will always be Pepper and Rhodey, he knows that, but how can he go to them now? He assured them that he knew what he was doing and by going to them he knows he'd seem defeated. There would be Pepper with her kind words in her 'I told you so' tone and Rhodey just siding with whatever his girlfriend says, yet somehow managing to be sterner with him.

It's not until the air around him starts to carry a chill that he notices that it's nearing nightfall. Despite this he makes no effort to get up and pulls his legs closer to his chest; he'll move eventually, but he doesn't want to leave them just yet. He's the most emotional he has been since Jarvis died, maybe that's what happens when you tried to hide it for so long. The one thing he is grateful for is that it happened amongst the two people that would never judge him and the two people that always made him feel safe. He decides that he'll stay there for a little while longer, in the peace, thinking things over before he goes back home where he feels most alone.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**A/N: **I should probably apologise in advance for this chapter… But enjoy!

**Chapter Nineteen**

_**We need to talk, can you text me or call me asap? – Tony**_

He pauses.

_**Asap = As soon as possible – Tony**_

It's suddenly the day of the interview and Tony still hasn't managed to tell Loki who he is. He has to do it today otherwise he's going to be too late. Since the 'date' at the zoo Loki hasn't spoken to him, well, that's not strictly true. Tony didn't try to contact him either. It wasn't because he didn't want to he just didn't know what to say. Even though he was understanding and didn't make a big deal out of what happened, for some reason Loki still freaked out on him leaving him ignorant as to what to do next. After coming home from visiting Maria and Jarvis he was greeted by several calls from Pepper and Rhodey – he knew he couldn't avoid them and just decided to bite the bullet and deal with it.

He told them everything that had occurred and everything that didn't. As expected Pepper was furious and yelled at him for his 'stupidity' and continued to lecture him for a while. She ordered Tony to text him as soon as she was finished on the phone with him but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Looking back at it now he wonders if it would have done any harm to have told him there and then rather than just drag it out and seem like he's been lying to him for longer. Between glancing at the clock and his phone he can barely sit still as he anxiously waits for his reply. He doesn't want to tell him via text, if it came to it he'll tell him over the phone but he'd rather do the decent thing and tell him to his face. Or if he had done the decent thing in the first place then maybe he wouldn't be in this situation.

Another glance at the clock confirms that he needs to be leaving soon if he's going to be at the interview on time. It's not like Tony to be on time for anything but he promised Pepper that this would be something that he would take seriously – unlike many other things. He feels uncomfortable about going, to be quizzed live on TV. Usually things like this wouldn't bother him, he loves being the centre of attention (mainly because he missed a lot of that growing up) but today he just wants to hide from the world. The whole situation doesn't sit right with him, it wouldn't sit right with a lot of people but at least they wouldn't be… Stupid enough? To go and befriend Loki, leading him into a false sense of security before he brings his world down again.

Tony grabs his last few things; he's about to shove his phone in his pocket when it starts ringing. For a brief moment he hopes it's the network informing him that the interview has been postponed for a little while longer. That's all he wants, just another week to break the news to Loki so he can go and do the interview without worrying about what might happen or how he might react if he sees it. But no, he sees the caller ID and those thoughts are immediately pushed to the back of his head as he answers.

"Hi Pep, what's wrong?"

"Did you tell him? Your interview is-" She's interrupted by Tony's snarky voice.

"In less than an hour I know. And no he's not answering his phone. I told him it was important and I need him to call me but I've not heard anything…"

"Well you need to do something!" It's a good thing Tony is in check of his emotions because her phone call would be doing nothing for his nerves. In fact it's not doing anything for his nerves at all, maybe he should have a drink before he goes.

"What do you want me to do? Like you were about to remind me the interview is extremely soon. I can't exactly drive to his house tell him who I am and then drive off again to do the interview – that's even worse than telling him via text!"

"But you _need_ to tell him _before_ the interview! At least by quickly going to him and then doing it he's not going to think that you've kept it from him-"

"He's going to think that I've kept it from him anyway because I have. We all know I have and I think we all realise now that it wasn't the best idea although it has helped him so much. He's got a friend out of it and-" Tony interrupts again, trying to get his point across that he's been trying to explain since it all happened only to be cut off.

"And now it's all going to be taken away from him. Also, for the record, I told you _from the start_ that this was going to be a bad idea. But as usual you think you know best and you don't listen!" Even though Tony didn't grow up with a mother, it seems like since he's met Pepper she's been making up for everything that he's missed.

"I would have thought now you have Rhodey keeping you busy you'd get off my back. Or doesn't he satisfy you in that department and so you take it out on me?" Tony comments, just wanting to drop the subject. He's lost count with the amount of times that he has had this conversation with her and he's bored of having to repeat himself and hearing the same lecture. It's done now and there's nothing he can do to change it; the only thing he can do is come clean and he wishes he could avoid that.

"Tony this isn't a time for jokes. Don't you take anything seriously?" She sighs exasperated, she knows how this must sound to him but she cares for him. It's not her fault that she's worried because of the decisions he's made, even Rhodey is but she's just voiced it more than he has.

"Yes, Pepper, I do. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to leave so I'm not late. See, I _can_ be responsible." Tony snaps, hanging up on her. The voice in his head that tells him that she means well has become quieter and he struggles to see that she's trying to help him. He may not act it at times but he is an adult and he's sick of everyone treating him like a child – he can make his own choices and his own mistakes, he won't destroy the world in the process so people should stop acting like he will.

After that delay he goes straight to his car and makes his way to the studios. He didn't need to show any ID, his face was proof enough of who he was – as much as it can annoy him at times, especially at the zoo, being famous can have its uses. More of the uses being a luxury dressing room with a couple of his favourite things sitting in there waiting for him and even a beautiful woman on hand to attend to his every need whilst they kept him waiting. This isn't a usual circumstance, if it was he would have given the woman some special attention – even bother to try and learn her name – but he couldn't concentrate on her. The distraction might have been nice, needed even, but he wanted to focus on Loki. His phone keeps making its way in and out of his pocket as he restlessly checks his messages, hoping that Loki would have texted him back and he simply didn't hear it. Loki hadn't, though, which left Tony worried. He knows their last meeting didn't go brilliantly but he wasn't expecting to be completely ignored.

Dwelling on the thought isn't an option when his peace is disturbed. Upon hearing the door open he turns round to see who it is that wants him. It's Natasha, and to his surprise in the revealing, figure hugging red dress that he requested that she'd wear. He smirks to himself, not so much at the image in front of them but the fact they're so eager to please him. Maybe he should have made more demands, really make them earn his presence and his answers. She walks over to him, her heels clicking on the polished floor as she does. Carefully she sits down, neatly crosses her ankles and sits forward. Everything about her oozes confidence, she is known for being a woman who gets exactly what she wants and doesn't stop at anything to get it. That's what makes her such a good journalist, she's not afraid to ask the awkward questions.

"So, Tony, are you ready to do this?" She asks, not bothering to waste time.

"Yep." He doesn't mean to be awkward but it's just a natural part of him.

"Your segment of the interview will be first so we can get an idea into what your father-"

"He's not my father." Tony refuses to acknowledge him as such so he wants people to do the same.

"Was like and how it was like for you growing up, whether you knew about it, had any suspicions as to what he was doing. We're going to cover a lot and then the others will take over and tell their side to it." She ignores his outburst and carries on explaining; she noted how he felt towards his father but now isn't the time to dwell on it. The time is when the cameras are rolling.

"Wait, the others?" He asks confused, he wasn't aware that he was doing a joint interview with anyone. That's a shame; he wanted all the attention on himself – to let the world know what he really thinks of Howard.

"Yes. But you'll meet them in a while. Now you'll have your make up done, we'll get you settled in the actual studio and get started." Natasha smiles at him, standing back up. "I shall see you shortly, Tony."

Tony doesn't even get a chance to get his phone out of his pocket when three more women come into the dressing room with various different beauty tools. He's no stranger to things like this, getting ready for interviews. When he got accepted into MIT he had to do a couple talking about the genius that he was and if he was going to follow Howard's line of work or go off on his own. Thank God he decided to stick to engineering and MIT rather than doing something in Psychology – then he would never be able to escape the elder Stark's shadow. He's well taken care of and they do his make up all ready for the camera. It takes longer than it probably should have because of their obvious and unabashed flirting. He's surprised with himself that he didn't proposition any of them, or all of them, even Pepper would be proud of him but he can't allow himself to be distracted today. He needs to be on the top of his game if he's going to survive the morning with Natasha's questions and whoever it is he'll be with. Probably another psychologist or Steve or someone. He shrugs off the thought and before he realises the time has passed and he's being taken onto the studio floor to where it'll all happen.

Tony takes his spot on the sofa next to Natasha who's sitting on a chair between his sofa and another. The audience are starting to file in and take their places; he's scanning the audience to see the type of people that have come to witness this – no one he recognises, he starts to think that maybe he should have asked Pepper and Rhodey to come along with him rather than just telling them to watch it on TV. He turns his gaze from the audience and looks at Natasha who's talking animatedly to one of the producers – there's something about the conversation that doesn't seem to add up, there's a problem and Tony wants to know what it is. The question is about to leave his lips when his ears are greeted by a familiar silken voice which sends chills down his spine in anxiety more than anything.

"What are you doing here?"

**x-x-x**

_**We need to talk, can you text me or call me asap? – Tony**_

_Asap? What the hell is-?_

_**Asap = As soon as possible – Tony**_

_Oh._ Loki rereads the message. _Talk? Why would Tony want to talk?_ Since the zoo Loki hasn't spoken to him or tried to get into contact. He feels bad for it, of course he does, Tony has been good to him and he has been trying to help him but he was just going to taint and ruin it so why should he bother? As much as he would hate to admit it both aloud and to himself he does miss Tony and the random conversations they would have; it would be the only stimulating conversation that he would have. The text has him worried, he so desperately wants to reply to him but he doesn't have the time to get into this now – he has the interview soon and he has to get ready for that. His anxiety levels have reached new highs over the last couple of days and this text has him on the very edge. It's not Tony's fault, Loki never told him the date of the interview, he wasn't to know that it was today.

Loki makes a promise to himself that he is to text him back as soon as the interview is over; he can't keep hiding from him, especially if he's needed for something important. Tony will understand when he explains why he hasn't been able to reply to him; he just has to keep telling himself that. As Thor walks into the room the text is pushed to the back of his mind. With the interview coming up Thor has tried not to invade his space again but he has been asking a lot if he was okay, even if the answer didn't satisfy him he'd leave it at that and Loki would be grateful. Thor's eyes are on his brother, but not on his face, as though he's worried what look he'll find there. Loki just watches him, waiting for him to say something; he must have come in for a reason.

"How are you feeling, brother?" Thor asks his booming voice surprisingly soft.

"I'm okay…" Loki replies, uncertainly and it doesn't go missed by Thor.

"You can tell me honestly, y'know."

Loki sighs, "I'm just nervous I guess…" He's tried to avoid talking about this with Thor but he knew he couldn't escape from him forever.

"It's normal, I must admit I'm a little nervous too."

"Well you're not the one they're interested in are you?" He snaps, he releases a breath and pinches the bridge of his nose as he shuts his eyes. "I didn't mean that..."

"I understand, Loki, you're under a lot of stress. It'll all be over within a couple of hours and we'll be there with you. Father says it'll just be us and the interviewer in the room and you'll be able to leave whenever it gets too much." Thor explains, trying to calm his brother down and prepare him as much as he's able to.

"I know, Thor, I know." His tone harsher than what he intended it to be. Really now he just wants to get it over and done with; he's already had this talk from Frigga and Bruce over the past couple of days. He doesn't want another one. When he was out with Tony or just speaking with Tony he was able to forget that it was coming up – Tony managed to talk to him about the normal things and listen when it was all going wrong for him. Then he messed it up and now he doesn't have Tony; he might not ever have him again depending on what he wants to speak to him about and that saddens him despite the fact he believes he doesn't deserve him.

Thor observes his brother; he's tugging on the sleeve of his green jumper, trying to make himself disappear. Without thinking he envelopes Loki into a hug, pulling him into his bulky body. No matter how many times Loki will shout at him or avoid him he'll always be there for him and he just wants to let him know that. Loki tenses at first but he doesn't resist, he doesn't return it either but he does start to relax into it.

"I'm sorry for not being the brother you want me to be… But I am trying, I promise I'm trying."

"And don't think that I don't appreciate that because I do." Loki replies quietly, his voice muffled by Thor's shirt as it is. Thor smiles, pulling Loki closer; he's never really doubted that his brother isn't grateful for his efforts but it's nice to be told that he does.

Frigga comes up and finds her boys still close together; she doesn't disturb the moment, she simply observes. They stay like that for a while, not talking, Loki wants to move away but he can't bring himself to do it and Thor can't bear to let go and lose the moment forever. After finding out about Loki he's learnt how quickly that life can change and that you have to make the most of everything because your whole world could be turned upside down. Eventually Thor notices that Frigga is standing in the doorway and releases his brother from his grip. Their mother smiles and walks in beside them. She gently reaches out and squeezes Loki's arm.

"It's time to go now, darling." She announces her voice as gentle as her touch.

Loki's eyes widen slightly in fear but they quickly go back to normal as he accepts what she tells him. No words leave his lips; he simply nods and slides his phone into his pocket. They all leave the room and silently walk down the stairs where they find Odin waiting patiently at the foot of the stairs. His face his passive as he watches them, not anxious for how the interview may go or how Loki may react unlike the others. He doesn't even ask if he's ready to go or if he has changed his mind and wants to stop. All he does is open the door and lead them all to the car. Even when they're in the car he doesn't speak, he lets the radio fill the silence. Occasionally Frigga asks simple questions about the interview but Odin only responds with vague answers. When Loki stops looking out of the window to look at everyone else he notices a look of confusion on Thor's face.

"Father, why have you brought us here?" Thor enquires, both Loki and their mother are unsure at first, but she notices why he asked before Loki does.

"This is where the interview will take place." Odin grumbles, keeping his eyes on the road.

"But I thought it was with the newspaper?" Frigga asks, sharing her son's concerns.

"I didn't want to worry him by telling him the truth." He informs her. They come up to the barrier to the car park; a security guard takes their name and guides them to where they need to be. It all passes in a blur for Loki, after hearing that there's been a change and he wasn't told it just heightens his anxiety to levels he didn't think they could reach. Frigga fusses, Loki can't hear what she's saying but he can tell that she's not happy. Thor sits there with a look of thunder on his face, glaring at the back of his father's head. He doesn't even notice that the car has stopped moving and Odin has got out, despite his mother's protests. The car door beside him opens and Thor is there, he hadn't even realised that he'd got out the car.

"We don't have to do this, Loki. I can take you home-"

"But he would be letting people down if he doesn't do it. Now come on, we can't be late." Odin says, bored of the trouble they all seem to be causing. So it's a TV interview rather than a newspaper interview; he'd still be being asked questions, the format would just be a little different. Yes he had a strange upbringing but he can't hide from the world forever.

"He won't be letting anyone down! If he feels he can't do this then we can't force him to! You should never have tricked him into doing this into the first place!" Thor shouts, appalled that his father would do something like this. Since he found out about Loki he's been finding out things about his father that he never wanted to know; that he never would have thought of.

Loki's whole body is shaking, something he hasn't experienced for a while. He's as angry as Thor is when it comes to being deceived by Odin, but Odin's right, he has to do this otherwise he's going to let people down. He had said he'd done it because he didn't want to worry him didn't he? All he wanted to do was to try and protect Loki, right? He has his best interests at heart just like the others? The arguing between Thor and Odin continues, getting louder and if Frigga hadn't have been present it would have become more violent. Gradually his breathing becomes more regular and the words of the conversation become clearer to him; he can now hear Frigga being involved. Without speaking or looking at any of them he carefully prises himself out of the car and steadies himself against the frame. Thor's large hand is instantly on his shoulder to help keep him up and keep him still.

"You don't have to do this, brother." He repeats, forcing Loki to look at him so he can see that he means it.

Loki lowers his eyes to the ground, then back up to Thor and then to Odin. Even though he can feel all self-control slipping from his fingers and his head is swimming in all the nervous thoughts that clutter his mind; he still can't bring himself to say no. Every fibre in his body is telling him to go into the nearest corner, curl up and never emerge from it again but his legs won't carry him there. Instead his head nods and then goes limp on his neck; with his eyes lowered again he doesn't see the worry and disappointment on Thor's face. Despite this he doesn't argue against what his brother wants to do, he's learnt his lesson now. They just follow their father into the building, Frigga has her arm round Loki keeping him close to her for comfort.

They're seen to by producers who take them to a dressing room – they're talking at them rather than to them; so quickly that Loki can't absorb their words. He's sick of being kept in the dark, maybe Odin's just going to be like Howard although this time it's because he doesn't understand the information given rather than it being withheld from him altogether. The dressing room is nice; its furnishings are simple yet luxurious at the same time. It's still not as nice as _his_ room though. Odin and Frigga sit down but the boys choose to stand; Loki doesn't want to sit down as he's uncertain that he can trust his legs to help him stand back up and Thor is beside him, not wanting to leave him. Both Frigga and Thor are still exchanging angry glances at the head of their family but neither of them want to bring up the argument again, for Loki's sake. It seems to have become an unspoken agreement between them that they'll never talk about things that could make Loki uncomfortable in front of him.

They're not on their own for long when Natasha walks into the room. Loki quietly observes her and from doing it he can see that she's doing the same to him. He can see how beautiful she is and how her dress compliments every curve on her body but he doesn't feel himself lust over her the way Thor is; he's practically drooling over her. He has to force himself to think of Sif in order to control himself. On the other hand Loki find his thoughts turned to Tony, wondering if he would find her attractive of if he even has anyone. Come to think of it, he doesn't know as much about Tony as he thought that he did. He knows the basic things about him and his family but nothing in detail – not like what Tony knows about him. The thought unsettles him slightly and the text from this morning works its way back to the front of his mind.

"Hello, I'm Natasha." She smiles talking to all of them but her eyes don't leave Loki's. _So this is the man of the moment_.

"Hello. Could you tell us what would be happening today? We've not received any details at all." Frigga asks before her husband could answer, shooting him a look as she does so.

"Of course, that's why I'm here. We're just conducting a normal interview in front of an audience. It'll be a live interview so we'd appreciate it if you don't swear or say anything that would be inappropriate for the time of the programme. We'll just be asking basic questions about what it was like for you to make the decision, what it was like for Loki and we also have a special guest from the other side of the story." Natasha explains, noticing the unease on all their faces. Well, all of them apart from Odin who looks perfectly calm.

"Special guest?" This time it was Thor asking the questions.

"Yes, Dr Howard Stark's son has agreed to take part too. You'll meet him briefly beforehand. You'll have your make-up down after I leave and then you'll be taken to the studio where we'll do the interview." She looks at her delicate silver watch. "I'm sorry I need to rush off, you were later than we expected so I'll let the make-up team come in now and then we'll get started. It was lovely meeting you and I'll see you shortly." Without waiting for a response she leaves the room again. Frigga seems taken aback by the rush of it all, she wasn't expecting this to all happen so quickly and she worries about Loki. He won't say anything to her, not with Odin around.

Before anyone has a chance to take a breath let alone say anything the make-up team walk in and they quickly get to work. With the rest of the family they seem at ease and they know what they're doing but with Loki it's different. They're unsure of how close he'll want them to be and because of his pale complexion they don't even know if they've got the right products with them. No one's really seen any pictures of him apart from the blurry ones in the papers but today that will change. With some difficulty they manage to get everyone sorted and a producer comes down to lead them to the studio. Loki trails behind yet listening intently to what he's saying, trying to collect as much information as he could about the situation. He won't admit it but he was holding onto the hem of Thor's shirt as they walked. Thor doesn't make a comment or question it, he is just pleased that his brother is reaching out to him for help.

After a short walk they get to the studio where people are already sitting. His eyes instantly go to the audience and his grip on Thor's shirt tightens. Thor whispers comforting words to calm him down, again promising he'd take him away from it all if he asked. Loki just nods, still not trusting himself to speak. People are staring at him with wide eyes, he can't tell if it's fear or disgust or amusement or interest or… He looks away from the audience to the figure that's sitting on one of the sofas. The boy has his back to them but he moves his head to look at the audience the way Loki did; at the side Loki gets a better look of his face and he can't believe what he's seeing. It can't be him, can it? He must be mistaken? Loki continues to walk over to him and as he gets closer his worst fears are confirmed. His heart drops to his stomach and the anxiety washes overs him all over again.

"What are you doing here?" He didn't even realise that any words had left his lips but they must have done. The boy in front of him freezes and he slowly turns round to face him.

Yep. He was right. The special guest is Tony. _His_ Tony.


	21. Chapter Twenty

**A/N:** Sorry for the slight delay and where I left you all last time! This block of chapters, including the last one, were my favourites to write :D The current chapter I'm writing is giving me a lot of problems and with the increase in school work I'm not 100% that it'll carry on being a weekly update, however they will still be regular unless my Tumblr (thefrostedrose) says otherwise :)

**Chapter Twenty**

_Shit… Oh Shit._ Are the only words that Tony's mind is forming as he stares at the familiar emerald eyes; although there's not just a hint of confusion in them but anger too. What else did he expect? He always knew that he was going to be furious with him but he still hoped that maybe he'd be able to overlook it; that it wasn't his name that was important it was how he treated him and how good of a friend he's been to him. Loki's eyes are boring into him, waiting for an answer that Tony can't bring himself to offer. He hates himself for being so scared of him; of telling him the truth – not that it matters now, he'll figure it out soon enough if he hasn't already. When he finally builds up the courage to open his mouth to speak he's quickly cut off by the producers who are ushering the Odinson's to their seats.

Once they're sat down and able to fully look at Tony Thor can't believe what he's seeing. He knew there was a reason he didn't trust him and he was right; although he couldn't say that, not to Loki and especially not now. In glaring at Tony what his mother said to him the other day finally makes sense to him; he feels sick, his mother knew all along didn't she? She let Loki get involved with him knowing full well what would have happened. He doesn't completely blame his mother though; he knows that his father has something to do with it too. It hasn't been until these events that he's noticed how controlling that his father is; especially with his mother and he's allowed it to happen all this time, well, they both have. Tony's never been scared in front of the cameras and always has a presence about him in front of the media which oozes confidence and control but today it's different; he's slowly sinking into his chair making him look smaller than normal but his eyes bigger than ever as he stares at the family in front of him.

Natasha opens the show but her words are lost to all of them; the atmosphere in the studio is so tense they can barely breathe but she carries on as though there's nothing wrong. Tony doesn't believe that she's done this. They knew that they had spoken; they knew what they were doing when they invited them all here. This is exactly the drama that the producers wanted. He can imagine Pepper saying _I told you so_ right now as she stares and screams at the screen; he'll probably have to make it up to Rhodey too for him having to put up with a hysterical girlfriend. In the tense atmosphere he can feel the fury radiating off of Thor more than Loki; Thor just wants to beat him for betraying his baby brother but Loki wants more than that. Loki wants answers as to why he was deceived; Tony notices tears forming in his eyes but he can't tell whether that's from frustration or upset over the whole situation. Probably both…

No one thought it was possible but Loki's complexion become paler, his arm is folded across his stomach and his hand is once again clutching at Thor's shirt. Realising that his brother still needs him, not that he doubted it anyway, he shifts and moves closer to him. Having Loki's body so close to him is the reminder he needs to not just stand up and advance on Tony. He'd do that later when the cameras have stopped rolling. Natasha is talking about the basics of the case, informing people who may still be unsure of what happened – or if they live in a cave, haven't heard about it at all. Loki can't help but flinch at some of the facts she reveals; not because they're still too fresh to him but because of the ease and bluntness that she's talking about them. It's nothing like the way Bruce had told him. He wishes Bruce was there sitting beside him; he promised he would be there. Loki turns the scan the audience; his nerves are somewhat calmed when he sees the comforting sight of Bruce in his green coat sitting in the front row. Bruce catches his eye and offers him a sad smile, but nods his head in encouragement to continue; he believes in him and he's there for him.

Loki hears his voice being called and his wrist being squeezed; he turns to look at Natasha who's staring at him as though she's waiting for something. "I'm sorry… What was the question…?" His words are quiet and distant, how could he concentrate? There are a couple of gasps from the audience, shocked that he is able to speak coherently.

"It's okay, Loki. I asked if you could tell us what it was like growing up in the room. If you had a routine?" She asks again, her tone is soft as though she understands but her eyes tell a different story – he can see her thirst for the answers and for the bonus this exclusive interview would land her.

"Um… It was normal…" He replies, struggling to find an answer. How can he not answer a simple question? Loki doesn't want to be there anymore, he just wants to leave and never speak to anyone again. Life would have been easier if he was never taken from the room. Natasha looks at him and purses her lips, waiting for him to carry on. "I'd wake up… Eat… Wash… Then I'd watch something on TV… Or read for the rest of the day… Occasionally doing lessons… Or mental and physical exercises…" It wasn't the answer that she was looking for and they all knew it; they were hoping for something more scandalous, for him to break down crying that it was hell for him and that he still has nightmares about it. But he doesn't want to give her the satisfaction. Or Tony. He was probably involved in this from the start, to win his trust so he could learn as much as he could about him away from the cameras so he could humiliate him in front of them.

"So you were kept stimulated then?" She asks feigning innocence, it doesn't go unnoticed by Loki or anyone else that are sitting there.

"I guess you could say that." He replies, allowing her to think that the reference had gone over his head.

"Did you understand why you were there? Were you aware that it was an experiment?"

"No." After being deceived he wants to be as difficult as possible. He doesn't want his father or this whore to get their way. Again he can tell she's displeased with the answer as her lips purses again and she stares at him; trying to get him to change his answer but he sits still and silent, refusing to back down. He may have been the shaking anxious mess earlier but now he's trying to build himself back up.

"So what did you think it was?"

"I thought it was normal." He repeats.

Her jaw tenses, only slightly, as she searches for the next question. She knew that he would be reluctant to talk about his time there but she was expecting more of a reaction than what she's getting. "Did you know anything of the outside world? Surely if you did you'd realise that it wasn't normal?"

Loki shrugs, "I knew bits."

"But did you never question it? Did you ever get to talk to Dr Stark?" Natasha's questions are coming quicker at him; like bullets.

"I spoke to him but I rarely questioned him."

"Why?"

He doesn't want to tell her the real reason. He's only ever told Bruce, his parents may know from the reports but he's never told them. The thought of the dark and sometimes the food being withheld is something he'd rather forget and not worry about again. With no new excuse coming to his rescue he simply says; "because I thought it was normal." Out of the corner of his eye he can see Tony trying not to smirk and failing. If he wasn't so angry with him he'd smile back but he can't even bring himself to look at Tony, let alone smile at him. Tony can see what Loki's doing too and he doesn't blame him for doing it; he'd be angry too if he was in his shoes. He's just pleased that he's still acting like his Loki even though he isn't his anymore.

"But looking back on it now, do you realise it's not normal?"

"I guess. But it was still normal for me and all this is different." Loki replies, sticking to his point. He's not going to let her win.

"What was the first thing you wanted to do when you were taken from it?" She asks, placing her smile back on thinking that she's trapped him. Now he'll have to give them a different answer, something that she can actually work with. In her ear she can hear the producers telling her different questions to ask or to give him a break for a moment and speak to his family or to Tony. They're bound to be more responsive, especially Tony as all of his anger needs releasing.

Loki pauses for a moment and looks thoughtful. Natasha can't help but smile as she watches, pleased that she's finally won; he's clearly going to give a heartfelt answer, or even a longer one than what he has been. "I wanted to see the outside… And once I'd seen the outside I wanted to go back in the room… Because I thought it was normal."

The smile is wiped from Natasha's face and she decides to move on from him. "It sounds like you had a tough time in there." She turns more towards his parents, ready to aim the next question at them. "What was your understanding of the experiment?"

"We wasn't aware of the extremes he would be subjected to." Odin quickly replies, wanting to get that point across. There has been a lot of doubt surrounding this as surely being parents they would want to make sure their son was in the safest place; then again a lot of parents wouldn't be able to think about putting one of their children in a situation like that. "All we were told was that he was looking into different types of childcare and he wanted to find the best way to rear children. He told us to trust him and as we were told that he was high up in his field we assumed that he was the best person to leave our Loki with. After a year or so we were unable to contact him and we had stopped receiving updates. We tried to get into contact with him but we kept hitting dead ends. We couldn't get the police involved because of the contract we signed; we'd given him our consent and essentially signed our son over so there was nothing we could do." His voice sounds sincere but Tony's still not sure. From what he's heard from Steve, Howard told them everything and they were willing to give him Loki. But his father was a liar and great at deception so how could he believe a single word that comes out of his mouth?

"Why did you have to give him up? And why was that the option? Why not actual care?" The interviewer enquires, trying to understand the situation like many others are. She doesn't entirely believe that they didn't know anything about it and everything about the situation just seems strange.

"We couldn't afford to have another child… We didn't realise Frigga was pregnant until late into the pregnancy; my business was in a little slump and we had Thor to look after. It broke our hearts to have to make the decision but it was the best decision at the time. Of course we was looking into the proper childcare services but when we come across the ad we wanted to be part of something like this; something that was going to make a difference. Looking back on it now and knowing what we do now we would never have done it and if we still had to give him up we would have gone through it the right way." Odin replies, lying through his teeth so effortlessly that no one could tell. Even Frigga believed his words; but one thing was true, it did break her heart to have to give Loki away. He wasn't hers by birth and he wasn't in her arms for long but it was long enough to make a bond that she never wanted to break.

Natasha nods, intently listening with a look of understanding across her face. "What about you, as a mother how was it?"

"Like my husband said it was heart breaking; I did everything I could so we could keep him. Even to this day I wish we didn't have to do what we did. Especially knowing what he went through; yes it was his normality but he was still alone and just the thought of my son being alone in a room for eighteen years…" Frigga trails off, tears slowly falling down her cheeks. She mumbles an apology and is passed tissues. Thor and Odin both reach for Frigga's hands whilst Loki sits there listening to her words. Every time he hears her tell the stories like this it upsets him and makes him feel uncomfortable. She's feeling all of this because of him and he didn't even miss her growing up. He couldn't remember his own mother yet she couldn't get him off her mind despite the passing days.

Seeing Frigga get emotional hits Tony harder than he thought; Howard practically tore Loki from her, it's clear that she never wanted to give him up to anyone. It was because of his father that this family was split up and why Loki has next to no worthwhile memories of his childhood – well, there may be some to him. He looks at Odin, even though he's trying to comfort his wife his eyes look void of all emotion. It wasn't just Howard's fault; Odin should be blamed for this too, he was the one that wanted to get rid of Loki. Seeing how they're talking about the experiment just makes him angrier, but not at his father, at the fact that no one else can see that Odin is just as much the monster as Howard is. Odin may claim that he was doing what he thought was best for them all but that doesn't sit right with Tony and he makes a mental note to ask Steve for more information. He's so lost in his own thoughts as he watches the scene before him that he doesn't hear that the interview is continuing.

Natasha shifts towards Tony and he braces himself for his first question. "So, Tony, what was your childhood like?" It wasn't what he was expecting his first question to be but he knew it would have been on the list somewhere.

"It wasn't the best. Okay, yes, it was better than most but my mother died so I have next to no memory of her. Howard was always in his office working and hardly ever spoke to me so I was brought up by Jarvis, our butler. Then he died just before I went to MIT and that was it." Tony shrugs, he was never going to dress it up or sugar coat it all of his answers are going to be blunt, especially where his father's concerned.

"Did you have any idea what _your father_ was working on?" She smiles sweetly as though she had no idea that referring to Howard as his father would bother him. Tony can see straight through her act, and he knows that she's well aware that he doesn't think of Howard like that anymore; he can hardly remember a time when he did respect his dad or think of him as such. Loki instantly tenses at the words the interviewer forms. How could Tony not have told him who he was? Why did he want to talk to him?

"No. I wouldn't have let him get away with it if I did. I came home from MIT and there was police around the house. They told me then what he had been up to."

"So you were living in the same house for all those years and you didn't even have an inkling as to what was going on in his house?"

"No, I didn't know. I was furious when I found out and I hated myself for not figuring it out sooner. But how was I supposed to know? Howard was always locked in his office and if I ever went in there he'd hit me. I spent all my time in my room or my lab building robots or something." He replies, slightly irritated that she thinks that he knew more about it than what he's letting on. Then again, a lot of people would be thinking that too and he'd do anything to convince them otherwise. If they were in his position they would understand.

"So you didn't know? Did Jarvis know? Or your mother?"

"I have no idea. Jarvis may have known, he went into the office more than I did but he never said anything to me so I can't comment for sure. I think my mother died before the whole thing started but again I'm not sure. But they're dead so there's nothing they can do about it now is there?" This is the realisation that he's had to come to and he hates it. The fact he'll always doubt the two people he always believed.

"Do you have any intention to continue his work? You have become close to the… Subject, as your father would have seen him as." At these words Tony's face drops and the anger he feels towards Howard is surfacing. How dare she ask him that? Hasn't he made it clear enough how much he detests the elder Stark's work and his actions?

Thor can feel Loki tense even more against him as the question is asked. Loki hadn't thought of that; that Tony would just want to carry on with what his father started. That this whole time he could have been reporting back to him about what Loki is doing and how he's doing. He spoke about how he didn't get on with his father and never got approval from him; maybe that's what he's doing now, seeking information for him so he can finally win his approval. Even his friendship has been an experiment; is there anything he can trust about his life? Is there anyone he can trust in it? He knows Thor's not going to let him out of his sight now and he'll point out that he knows what's best for Loki as he got it right this time and he won't let him forget it. Tony's outraged response goes unheard by Loki; how can he sit here and listen when he's a liar just like Howard? Loki tears himself away from his brother and runs backstage.

It's chaos as the crew try to stop him; no one knows how to handle him. Usually if someone has an issue they would just let them walk off and calm themselves down but with Loki they can't do that. They want to grab him and just keep him still but physical contact would just make it worse. Acting on pure instinct he simply runs down all the corridors, following them all hoping to find an exit; ignoring all the looks and shouts for him to stop as he passes frantic staff. There are no coherent or organised thoughts running through his mind other than to get out. He pushes at random doors, hoping they'd lead to the outside. Loki no longer cares if he's given them all what they wanted; the good ratings or for him to be so frightened he had to flee, he just couldn't bear it anymore and he didn't feel as though he was strong enough to continue. Even if Bruce believed that he was.

He doesn't know how long he takes but suddenly he finds himself on the outside; there are people running after him but that doesn't stop him or even slow him down. In the back of his mind it registers that he doesn't know where to go, that he can't run forever but that doesn't stop him from wanting to try. Somehow he manages to get out of the car park without being caught; he nearly ran into a couple of guards but they were too afraid to touch him. It's the first time that his upbringing, if you could call it that, has been beneficial to him. It was a good thing that people were scared of him because then he'd be able to be left alone; whether they wanted to do it or not. Being out in the open and getting further away from the studio allows his mind to clear; it's not so hazy now and he's able to concentrate on his thoughts. Home isn't where he wants to be right now, he likes to have ways to escape if he needs to. For the first time outside is comforting to him but that doesn't stop him from missing the room. His room. But he knows going back isn't an option… So he tries to find the next best thing.

**x-x-x**

Everyone freezes when Loki bolts for the exit. None of them know what to do. After a brief hesitation Tony stands up and immediately starts to run after him. As soon as he steps foot backstage he's unable to go any further, with clumps of people in his way discussing how they knew that it was all going to be too much for the freak (as they called him). This makes Tony angrier, how dare they insult him like that? They have no idea what he's been through and they'd never be able to understand. He tries to push his way past them but he feels a hand on the back of his shirt pulling him back; the collar of the shirt being pulled uncomfortably tight around his neck to keep him in place. He's swung round and his back slams into the wall; he grunts in pain and everyone in the corridor goes silent, watching what's happening. Once he's got over the shock of being pinned to the wall he looks up and notices the person who's put him there is Thor. He can't say he's surprised.

"You stay away from my brother, do you understand?!" Thor barks at him, only a couple of inches away from his face. He's so close Tony can practically see the boys blue eyes flicker red.

"Look, big guy, I'm sorry I didn't tell him sooner. I tried, I really did but other things came up and I just couldn't do it. Just calm down and let me go and we can go and get him." Tony tries to compromise; keeping his voice from wavering in fear. All he wants to do is to go and find Loki.

"You should have told us from the start! How dare you deceive him like that?! Do you know what you've done?! You've followed your precious father's footsteps and have damaged him!" His fists clench his shirt tighter, bringing him closer.

"I'm nothing like Howard! I'm nothing compared to that piece of shit of a father! All I've wanted to do is help Loki! Even though I wasn't involved I feel responsible for it and I just want to make things better for him! He needs more than what you can offer him but you're too stubborn to see that!" Tony shouts back and tries to push Thor off of him.

"And you think you're the one that would be able to give it to him?! You've betrayed him! Do you really think he's going to care about what you have to offer him or about your friendship after what he's found out?" Thor's voice quietens, trying to get Tony to understand the seriousness of his actions and how he's not just angry with him but upset too.

"No… But I should at least be able to explain why. And right now whether he wants to see me or not doesn't matter; we need to find him and calm him down. What if he's managed to get out of the studios? He's going to be lost and scared and now because you wanted to stop me and threaten me we have no idea where it could be. Nice going big bro." Tony snarls, managing to get out of Thor's grip. As much as Thor hates to acknowledge it he knows Tony's right; because of his stupid choice they've let Loki get away.

After having their own conversation they can hear another one going on as well. Frigga's unmistakeable voice screaming at Odin from one of the dressing rooms. Neither of them even noticed that they had come off the set floor. She's clearly upset and she has every right to be in Tony's opinion; but something's not right, the way she's speaking it's as though she knew this was going to happen and just sat back and allowed it to. He can hear her blaming Odin about pushing Loki too far and that she shouldn't have let Odin have his way. Tony's had enough and both the boys follow the sound until they reach the right dressing room. Without knocking or waiting they just storm in. Frigga's screeches stop as they both look round to see who had entered the room; they hoped it was Loki being returned to them.

"I know it's not really my place to say anything but you two need to sort your shit out another time. Right now you need to find your son. He should be your priority now, not some argument." He growls at them. Tony expects Odin to tell him where to go, to shout and lecture him in a more civilised way than what Thor did but nothing like that happened. Instead they simply nodded and walked out of the room. It's obvious that Frigga had just put Odin in his place and it was in no mood to argue with his hysterical wife.

Once outside the dressing room they start to come up with a plan of who goes where; it makes more sense for them to split up. Whilst they're discussing it Bruce finds them and asks to help, Tony doesn't realise who he is at first but he quickly realises how much he cares for Loki and he appreciates that. Another thing that he appreciates is the fact that Natasha knows to keep her distance; that she pushed them too far and they should be left to deal with it themselves rather having some nosey journalist interfere. Not wanting to, or able, to waste any more time they go off in various directions as quickly as they can in the hope of finding their lost boy.

**x-x-x**

It's the first time he's been outside when it's raining; it's just as peaceful and soothing as he imagined it would be. He's sitting on the damp floor with his knees pulled against his chest; he's not sure whether he's shaking from the cold or from the flood of emotions just pouring out of him. Loki's grateful for the rain, it helps disguise his tears and at least he could pretend that it's the rain making him look worse than he actually is. Then again no one will come over to him. There's hardly anyone there now, who wants to walk around in the rain? Although why people don't like to is a mystery to Loki, so what you get wet and cold, it help cleanses you of your thoughts and organises your emotions. His sobs are ripping from his body and he buries his face in his knees. He knows that he should call someone to let them know he's okay but he just wants to be alone. He just wants to feel safe and the only person that he can trust anymore is himself.

His clothes are soaked through but he makes no effort to leave; instead he continues to stare at the group of animals in front of him. They're not forced from their enclosure so why was he? Why is he so different and needs to be in the wild? Despite managing to sneak into the zoo in the first place he doubts that he'd be able to make it into one of the enclosures. So he just settles for sitting in front of it, wishing that he was alone once again. After his behaviour at the interview he wouldn't be surprised if he was thrown straight back in there; that his parents sign him over yet again but this time to be in Tony's care. It's probably all part of it, to be shown what he's been missing for all these years to test his reaction but as soon as it becomes normal for him they throw him back and deprive him of the outside. Not that he'd mind. He's finished with social interaction if it's always going to end like this. Why willingly subject himself to hurt? He's not a sadist even if people argue that he was brought up by one.

The rain continues to pour and dance around him; his sobs start to soften and his tears begin to dry up. _That's enough for today_ he decides.


	22. Chapter Twenty-One

**A/N:** I have finished planning this story and there's going to be 40 chapters (the 40th chapter will be the epilogue). So that means we're over half way now! I'm currently writing chapter 30, hopefully it won't take as long as 29… Enjoy! :)

**Chapter Twenty-One**

After doing a full sweep of the studio they realise their worst fears and that Loki has made his way outside, alone. They're all worried but Bruce and Tony are quietly confident in Loki; that he wouldn't do anything stupid and he does know what he's doing. But then every time they think that they remember how upset and emotional he was; he's not going to be thinking straight or know what he's doing. They all meet outside and scan the car park hoping that he just found somewhere to hide and just wait for everyone to calm down. To just stop. Thor is the last one to meet them out there; it's obvious that he didn't want to stop looking inside, he didn't want to give up hope or leave any part unsearched. Even after coming to the realisation that Loki isn't there Odin is his usual emotionless self; Tony wants to grab him by the shoulders and shout at him that his son's gone missing but he knows it won't do anything. Although it would make him feel better…

"Right where are the other places that he could have gone to?" Bruce asks; Tony can see why Loki would feel comfortable around him. Despite this being a highly stressful situation he manages to stay calm enough on the outside to try and get people to think straight.

"Well he could have made his way home?" Frigga suggests hopefully. In her eyes the next best thing is to drive home and find him sitting on the doorstep, even if it was in the rain.

"Okay, do you and Odin want to try there? Then if he's not there one of you could wait there whilst we see somewhere else he could go?" Frigga looks to her husband and he nods; they quickly make their way to the car, she doesn't want to waste any more time. She knows that he'd be used to being on his own, in his own company, but not around strangers and at least in the experiment he was kept safe in the room.

Once they've driven off Bruce looks to the boys for more options. Thor's face lights up as though he's just discovered the answer to world peace, "the coffee place, in the mall, that you met him at. He liked it there and he probably saw it when we were on our way here." It's the first time Thor has spoken to Tony without a murderous tone. It was probably because Bruce was there and he wouldn't want any witnesses.

"Yeah sounds great, Thor, you head there and let us know if you find anything." Bruce smiles, he knows he doesn't really need to tell him that but he can see Thor getting so excited when, if, he finds his brother that everything else would go out of his head. He wouldn't blame him if that were to happen but it would just worry everyone else if then both brothers weren't able to be contacted. It's unknown whether Loki's turned his phone off to ignore everyone trying to call him and fuss over him or whether the battery has died and he doesn't know what to do. The thought is unsettling to Bruce; he's seen Loki's panic attacks before and to suffer one on his own in a place that's foreign to him… He just can't bear to dwell on it.

"Of course, doctor, I shall let you know the moment I find him." Thor beams in response, running off to the exit. Even if they did have the time to warn him about getting his hopes up they wouldn't have the heart to. They can't tell him that he probably doesn't understand his brother as well as he thinks he does and that there is a chance that he might not be there after all. Usually Thor would be the last person that Loki would want to see but after losing his only friend he only has family left now. Well… His mother and brother at least.

"What about you? Do you have any ideas?" The doctor asks Tony; he may be speaking in a calm way but there is an edge to it. It's clear what he thinks of Tony.

"Um… There's two places that I can think of and both of them are unlikely… He probably wouldn't want me to find him anyway. I'm the one he wanted to get away from. What happens if I'm the one that finds him and then it just makes everything worse? He won't stay still long enough for me to get him back home." Tony starts to rant, he's not really thinking of just leaving the others to find Loki, he's just starting to let his anxiety run out of him. The rain is doing nothing to soothe him, it's just irritating him further.

"It's worth a try, Tony. Even if you are the one to find him he's going to talk to you no matter how angry he is. He needs familiarity, even though you've deceived him you're still familiar to him… And he'll most likely have a lot of questions to ask you, to help him understand why you did what you did." Bruce explains, if there are other options on where to look he doesn't want them to just be ignored. They can't risk losing him, he's too vulnerable; he may have created a mask for himself but he can still be taken advantage of, especially if he's not in his right mind.

"I guess." He sighs, "so where are you going to go? You know him better than any of us."

"I was going to try the hospital and if he wasn't there then I'm going to drive around and see if I can see him walking anywhere. He might just be wandering around to clear his head. He would have never been in the rain before so I don't know how he'd take to it; it might calm him to walk around in the rain."

Tony never even noticed the rain anymore; but to Loki it'd be a whole new experience. He'd love to see his face at the whole thing; although he might still be so angry and confused that he doesn't even pay any attention to it. Thinking about it Tony would love to be the one to take Loki out into the snow for the first time; before he would have had to take on Thor for it but now Loki wouldn't want anything to do with him.

"What's the smile for?" Bruce asks, Tony didn't even know that he was smiling.

"Just thinking…"

"What about?"

"What you said about him and the rain; just trying to remember what it was like when I first saw snow. Shame he won't want me around to build a snowman, eh?" Tony says trying to force a smile but it's not fooling Bruce. How did he think that he was going to be able to trick a doctor?

"I'm not going to say you might be able to sort it because I don't know; every time I think I understand Loki he does something that surprises me. This could work in your favour then again it might not. You head off to your two locations and I'll drive round to the hospital." Tony nods and they exchange numbers in case one of them is lucky enough to find him.

They go their separate ways and Tony hastily drives to his first idea. The rain is coming down harder now and he knows that could only be a bad sign.

**x-x-x**

The zoo is practically deserted when he arrives; it's still open but who would want to take their kids around the place when the weather is like this? Tony's not exactly sure why he thought to come to the zoo; it was the first place that Loki was trusted to go to on his own, it's a place that gave him some more independence. Alright, it did upset him because it was far too close to home but that could be why he would go there. Like Bruce said, he'd want familiarity and if he could see himself in the animals at the zoo then maybe he'd seek comfort there. He knows it's a long shot but it's the only place he can think of (other than the room of course but that's even more unlikely than him going to the zoo). He parks in the place he did last time and quickly sets off into the zoo. The staff look at him as though he is mad; it wouldn't be the first time people wanted to question his actions and it's happening even more now. As he walks round he checks his phone to see if Loki had sent him any messages or that there is any news about him. Instead of seeing Loki's name he sees Pepper's, Rhodey's and a few unknown numbers – most likely other press trying to get more information out of him. Wasn't the unfinished interview enough? He hasn't got the time to read or answer the messages; he'll just have to deal with their wrath later.

Tony thought that it would have been easier to find a lanky pale boy with black hair in a zoo, especially if he was the only one in it but this is harder than he expected. It's not until it's practically empty that you realise how big the zoo actually is and he can't leave until he's searched every part of it. He starts by following the path that they did when he took him there; he wouldn't be able to get into any of the exhibits, he didn't have the money. Although that wouldn't stop him, if he really wanted to be somewhere he would go there and; there could be people that would recognise him and just let him have his own way to keep him safe and to not interfere. Tony's not a lazy person, although most people would think that, but this is the most exercise he's had in a while. He can't remember the last time he had to run around like this; there's no way he could just take a leisurely stroll, he has to be as quick as possible.

His thoughts don't work like everyone else's, it's always got more than one thing on the go. This could be projects or even just different conversation subjects; he can't just focus on the one thing. Even now, his main focus is Loki but it's not just finding him. It's where he could find him; what could happen if he did find him and what would happen if someone else found him. His eyes are just as quick as his mind; he's used to having to take in all the small details which is helpful in this situation. Suddenly his legs have to stop, they can't keep going at the speed they're being forced to go at. Pants heave from his chest, steam is softly rising from his clothes as the heat from his body collides with the cold air. After catching his breath he lifts his head and for the first time in a long time his mind goes blank. There's a body curled up tightly in front of one of the enclosures, not moving and just letting the rain wash over him.

He walks rather than runs over to the body; he doesn't want to scare him anymore than he already has done. Now he's standing beside him and the only movement is his body shaking, he stares worried about him and clueless as to what to do. Needing a quick rest in order to think about what would be best he sits next to him on the wet floor; he runs his fingers through the soaked raven hair in the hope of getting some sort of reaction. He feels the boy's head weakly press into his hand but he can't keep his head up long enough to assess the situation or even open his eyes. At least he knows he's alive, even if he can barely move. He could either call Dr Banner and wait for him to arrive and help get him into a car or he could act now and try and do it himself. Tony has always been impatient and he can't leave Loki laying here any longer than he already has been. He gets back on his feet and carefully starts to manoeuvre Loki off the ground and into his arms; his arms are awkwardly around his body as he tries to get him to stand. Instantly he can see the problem with what he's trying to do; Loki is too tall for him and heavy. Tony has never been one to back down from a challenge, he slowly but carefully starts to drag Loki hoping that he's conscious enough to make some steps on his own.

Loki must realise that he's moving as he begins to stumble; trying to put one foot in front of the other. The weak man doesn't know how long he's like that for, it doesn't feel like for long but he feels his body being dumped onto something soft and dry. There's a banging of a car door, it seems somewhat far away but he can't be sure. Surely it should worry him that he's being taken away by someone he doesn't know to a place he doesn't know but he doesn't have the strength anymore. Maybe if he's taken away then everything will stop hurting; he'll be locked up again and his life will become easier. Tony doesn't know how he managed to get Loki into the backseat of his car but he's pleased that he did. He must have been trying to get them there for nearly an hour, or maybe it just felt long because of how difficult the task was. There were times when Loki was conscious enough to try and move himself but these moments were rare, yet much appreciated and seemed to help spur him to keep going. In the back of his mind he knows he should text the others before he sets off but he can't bring himself too; he knows it's selfish but he wants him to himself just so he can talk to him without any interruptions. Once his shoulder had stopped throbbing he starts his drive back to his house.

**x-x-x**

Predicting that the press would be swarming the front gates of his house he decides to go round the back entrance that's usually forgotten about. He remembers times when Jarvis used to bring him home this way as it felt as though he was going into the bat cave; a chuckle escapes him at the memory. Once he parks in the garage he turns to look at Loki in the backseat, he's still out cold and shivering. He gets out of the car and braces himself for trying to get Loki to a bedroom, it doesn't take as long as he thought it would but it was just as painful. Tony's always loved Stark mansion but now he's regretting living somewhere that's quite so big with a lot of stairs; maybe he should rebuild it and put a lift in there or something. Not that he's anticipating having to bring anymore unconscious men back to his home. He stands in the bedroom with all of Loki's weight resting against him; every part of him wants to put Loki on the bed and just go and rest but he has to get him warm and dry first.

Gently, he places Loki on the floor and goes on a hunt for some clothes that would fit him. He goes into Jarvis' old room, a place he's hardly been in since he died; he wants to stay in there for a little longer but he knows now isn't the right time. Quickly he hunts around the room, trying to disturb as little as possible. Even though it was what he was looking for he was surprised to find such casual clothes in his wardrobe; he knew it was possible for him to be in a suit all the time but he still couldn't picture in anything else. When he was a child there was a couple of occasions where he did see him in his casual clothes, usually in the middle of the night when he had a nightmare and Jarvis would come running in to check up on him. He takes the clothes he's found and rushes back to the room.

Tony kneels next to Loki; he knows what he's got to do next but he doesn't feel comfortable doing it. It wouldn't be the first time he's undressed a man but at least those times they were conscious and wanted it. The thought of him waking just as he was undressing him frightens him a little bit, it would just make the whole situation worse… But he can't leave him in those wet clothes. He sighs and slowly begins the process; peeling his soaked t-shirt from him as careful as he can, hoping that he doesn't choose now to wake up. _Well that's one piece done…_ Tony thinks to himself as he dumps the shirt on the floor. Once he's taken off his shoes and socks he moves to the front of his jeans; his hands hesitate as they reach for the button, he keeps trying to bring himself to undo them but he just can't. _How can I be scared of a button?_ He shakes his head and pulls himself together, undoing the button and unzipping his jeans. Moving his hands round he slowly lifts the boy's hips and tilts them so he can slide his jeans down. He thought it would be easier than how it actually is; where the jeans are so wet they're just clinging to him and refusing to let go. Eventually he's able to get them off and he's left with just one more item to go. He doesn't mean for it to happen but his eyes scan the man in front of him; he's never seen anyone like him, so lean and pale, elegant… Nothing like his brother but he how would he look the same when he grew up in a completely different environment?

For a moment Tony doesn't seem to notice that he's staring; he clears his throat as though that's going to help the situation and leans forward to his boxers. As curious as he is he wishes he didn't have to take them off; but like everything else he can't leave them on and they're still wet and cold. It's like with the jean buttons all over again; it's not that he's scared or embarrassed he just feels uncomfortable with doing something like this. There have been times where he's brought girls home and they've passed out before anything could happen and even then he's just left them on the sofa, fully clothed. He takes a deep breath and just goes for it; he pulls down from the sides and tries to avert his gaze as tugs them off. They're finally off and he can't help but look again; if the circumstances were different Loki would definitely be one of the guys that Tony would try to bed. If everyone else could see him the way he does right now they would see how it's just a normal person just like them.

To stop himself staring he gets on with the job, drying him as gently as possible and then placing Loki in Jarvis' old jogging bottoms he used to sleep in and a random white t-shirt. Now he's dry Tony picks him up once again and puts him in the bed, covering him in the duvet and any spare blankets he could find. He knows that Loki is generally pale but now he looks worse, his lips don't have any colour in them and his face looks hollow. Tony blames himself for the state that he's in; he can't blame anyone else for it as much as he would like to. Not wanting to leave Loki he sits in the chair beside the bed, he pulls out his phone and starts to text Thor; he's halfway through the message when he deletes it and starts one to Bruce instead.

_**Hi doc, it's Tony. I found him at the zoo and brought him to mine. He's not well so I don't really want to move him from the bed for a while. Could you tell his family? They wouldn't trust me with him. – Tony**_

Bruce probably wouldn't trust him either but he has a better chance with explaining the situation to the doctor rather than explaining it to his family. If he can get Bruce on his side then he's bound to get his own way for a few hours. He's waiting ages for a reply, he assumes Bruce is either too busy still looking for Loki not to notice or he is trying to convince them that maybe Tony knows what he's doing after all.

_**They're pleased he's found but they want him home. I'm coming over to assess him, if he's okay enough to be moved then he's going to have to be taken home. I hope you understand that. – Bruce**_

Tony sighs, that's not what he wanted to hear but it's clearly the best that Bruce can do. At least it was just him coming round and not the entire family, he couldn't handle that again. Now Loki's been found there would be nothing to distract them from lecturing or threatening him for what he did to their son. Well, it would more likely be what Tony did to his brother as it would only be Thor that would still be angry with him. The parents clearly have something else on their mind that they're worried about.

_**Okay, doc. See you soon – Tony**_

He'll just have to try and convince him to let Loki stay there a little longer.

**x-x-x**

It doesn't take Bruce long to arrive, Tony gets a text telling him he's outside the gates it surprises Tony for a moment that Bruce managed to find his house and then he reminds himself that he knows he's a Stark and pretty much everyone knows where Stark mansion is. He makes his way downstairs and let's Bruce in. As Bruce walks in he looks round, he never thought he would ever step foot into the famous mansion, well, now infamous mansion. Without saying anything Tony leads Bruce upstairs, silently hoping that Loki isn't well enough for him to be moved so he doesn't have to try and convince him. Not that he's doubting the Stark charm or anything.

Bruce wanders over to the bed and looks at Loki; Tony can tell that he's worried just by the look on his face. He mainly works at the hospital for psychological problems but he knows the basics of being a biological doctor. He pokes and prods at his body, testing various things; Tony watches confused but doesn't question what the doctor's doing. When he is finished with what he's doing he pulls the covers back over Loki and tucks him in. Tony smiles at the gesture and Bruce turns round to face him.

"Well, he's not seriously ill which is good because I feared the worse – it's unknown what types of germs and bacteria that he was in contact with in the room or if there was any so we're not entirely sure how weak he is and to what. They have done tests on him back at the hospital and they didn't seem to have a problem with anything so he should be okay. From the looks of it he's going to develop the flu; he can be moved to his house…" Bruce informs him. Tony's face drops, it wasn't what he was hoping for, he knows how bad that must be and how selfish it is but he can't bring himself to care.

"Alright… I guess you'll call his family? Or will you take him? Because I don't think that I can handle them any more today."

"I should take him back, really… I don't know if I can justify leaving him here in the house that he was isolated in or with someone that deceived him." He pauses and studies Tony, "however… I recognise that you both need to talk and whilst he's probably not in the best condition to right now to have that talk… I think you may need a chance to redeem yourself. Loki really looks up to you and he really needs you, that may not be exactly the case now but… There's a chance it could still be like that."

"So… You're letting him stay?" He asks, confused; he wants it clear before he gets his hopes up.

"Against my better judgement… Yes. Although, if he feels uncomfortable and wants to leave I want to be contacted immediately and I will be taking him home. I'll tell his family that it's unwise to move him and that I'll be on hand if I'm needed. Also, before I leave, I'd like to see the room he was kept in." Bruce tells him, his tone is serious and he knows that he's not messing around. He only has one chance and that's it.

Tony nods and takes him down to the basement. He makes a face when he sees the bottles that he had left down there; he apologises and explains that when everything had come to light he spent a lot of time down there trying to get his head round the situation. Bruce seems to accept his answer and silently walks around it, taking in the surroundings. It amazes him how someone can be kept in there for practically their whole lives; but Loki has managed to come out fairly well rounded and normal. It's different being in the room than it is to watching it on screen; it makes it more real, he wasn't just watching low budget horror films it actually did all take place. Bruce takes a deep breath and sits on the bed; images from the films running through his mind, he recognises everything. Tony just watches the doctor do what he needs to, he understands how it can all be overwhelming, he felt the same.

"Don't let him come down here, he probably won't be able to get out of bed for a couple of days but still, keep him away from here. I don't think he's ready yet; he might disagree but I'd still prefer to do some more work with him before he makes this step." Bruce tells him; he knows that Tony probably wouldn't do it but he still has to make sure, just to give him peace of mind.

"Oh no, I'll keep the door locked, I don't want to bring him here." Tony reassures him, he never even thought about bringing Loki down there. Bruce is happy with that answer and he nods as he gets off the bed. Tony locks the door behind them and they both go back upstairs. As they walk to the front door Bruce instructs him on what to do with Loki. It's all the basic stuff that Tony is capable of doing; after reassuring Bruce again that he will call him the moment either of them need him he finally leaves. Tony sighs in relief that he's got his way and walks back upstairs.

**x-x-x**

As he comes back into consciousness he can feel that he's no longer on the wet, hard concrete where he fell asleep. He didn't mean to fall asleep; he just needed to rest some more before he could face going home. His arms are at his sides and he can feel thick material around him; they must have found him and brought him home. The longer he stays there trying to wake himself up the more he begins to realise that this isn't his bed, the sheets feel different and the blanket's too heavy. The familiar sense of panic starts to fill his chest again; he forces his eyes open to discover where he is. He finds himself in quite a large room, because of the lack of personal items he assumes that this room is hardly used. It's grand and luxurious; nothing that Loki has ever experienced. All of his senses start to come back to him and he can hear soft snoring to his right. Slowly he turns to face where the sound is coming from.

_Tony._

He gasps upon finding him sitting there; he was the last person he was expecting. As he gasps the sharp intake of breath causes a coughing fit; the loud sudden noise jolts Tony out of his brief slumber. He scrambles for the glass of water that he left beside the bed and tries to get Loki to sit up and drink it. Loki tries to move away and fight him but he doesn't have enough energy to; he ends up complying in the hope that it would get Tony away from him. It seems to work, Tony leans back but stays seated on the edge of the bed. If Tony's here then that must mean he's at his house; his house would be the Stark mansion… Stark mansion where he was kept locked up in the basement. The interviewer was right; he is going to be put back in the room. All of a sudden the idea of being isolated again isn't so appealing to him. Mustering all the strength that he can, Loki tries to leap from the bed, he manages to get out of it but his legs buckle beneath him. Before he can get back up again Tony is next to him, trying to help him up.

"Don't touch me!" Loki shrieks, trying to back away from him, only to find himself against a wall.

"Okay, okay. I'll stay here, just, Loks you need to get back into bed." Tony says trying to calm him down.

"No. NO. I need to get home. I can't. I can't be here. I can't be near you." Loki's voice is quieter but disjointed; his mind is running so fast that he's struggling to form complete sentences.

"Listen I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to keep it from you it just happened and then I couldn't find a right time to tell you. I've not done it to hurt you." Tony attempts to reassure him although it seems to fall on deaf ears.

"I don't care! I DON'T CARE! I can't be here! I won't go back in! YOU CAN'T PUT ME BACK IN THERE! YOU CAN'T TAKE ALL OF THIS AWAY FROM ME AGAIN!"

"Loki, I'm not going to take you back there. I promise."

"How can I trust you?! YOU'VE LIED TO ME BEFORE YOU'LL JUST LIE TO ME AGAIN! I can't be here! I need to go! I CAN'T GO BACK IN THERE! PLEASE! Please don't put me back in there! I…" The screaming and the anger drain the remainder of what little energy he has. His body goes limp once again, unable to cope with everything that he's feeling. Tony watches and waits to see if it's only a momentary black out, a few more minutes pass and he's starting to doubt that it is. For what feels like the tenth time that day on his shoulder he brings Loki back up and back into bed, pulling all the covers around him.

Tony sits himself back in the chair, it's quite late now and it's been a long day; the tiredness has only just hit him. As much as his body yearns for his bed he's going to have to deny it what it wants for tonight; he can't leave Loki alone even if that is what Loki wants. He's going to see what happens tomorrow before he chooses to call Bruce; this could all just be from the shock, tomorrow he might be calmer. At least that's what he hopes.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two

**A/N:** Sorry for the slight update delay and thank you so much for feedback and follows and favourites :D I most likely will change the update day from every Friday to every Saturday as my time on Friday's is becoming limited all of a sudden :') But the updates shall still come! :D

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

He must have been bad; he must have done something wrong… Been disobedient. That's what brought on the darkness, it's something he knows all too well. He thought that it wouldn't happen anymore; Bruce promised him that it wouldn't happen. Is this another person who's betrayed him? No. No it can't be. It's not his fault that he was disobedient. Bruce isn't here to protect him from the darkness; he can't be all the time. He needs to learn for himself how to please other people and to keep himself safe. As much as he wants to escape the darkness he doesn't want to open his eyes and see what horrors await him next. If Tony brought back the darkness like his father did then there's no doubt about him being put back into the room. In fact he's probably already been put in the bed. He's going to open his eyes and see the usual pale green walls that watched him grow up. His head feels fuzzy and heavy like when he was drugged at the hospital. _Maybe Bruce has saved me._ Loki is confused as to why he can't breathe through his nose; is this Tony trying to control him or is this Bruce trying to help him out?

Sweat slowly drips down his face; the covers around him feel like they're suffocating him. It's as though his mind communicates with the world around him because the covers are being pulled from his torso. A welcome breeze comes around his arms and chest which is covered by a shirt that he doesn't recognise; he doesn't really own anything short sleeve and even though he's not entirely sure of what's happened he knows he was wearing something with longer sleeves at the interview. Something cold and damp is placed against his forehead; he leans into its touch, grateful that it's there. Well… He can't be in the room; if he was in the room then none of this would be happening. That must mean he's in the hospital and Bruce has saved him and everything's going to be alright… Relieved that he's safe he starts to find the energy to prise his eyes open; he doesn't know how long he's been out but it doesn't feel like long enough.

No… No this can't be happening… This isn't the hospital… He's in the same room where the darkness took him. This can't be right, maybe he's just hallucinating from the drugs, he vaguely remembers being told of the side effects when it first happened. A glass and an open palm with some tablets on it are put in front of his face; his eyes trail from the person's hands and make their way up to his captors face, his heart sinks when he realises that it's not Bruce. It's still Tony and it will always be Tony. Fighting the urge to turn his head to the side and reject what he's being given he cautiously opens his mouth and takes what's being given to him. Tony doesn't say anything and just helps him drink the water; Loki tries to move away when he's had enough, luckily Tony notices what he wants to do and doesn't get angry at the rejection. It's strange Tony being so silent, he's used to his inane chatter that seems never ending. Obviously all of that was all for the act, when he was just Tony, not Tony _Stark_.

"Please… Please-" Loki starts his voice so hoarse and cracked that he doesn't recognise it.

"Shh, Loki, don't strain yourself. Just rest, those tablets are what Bruce has told me to give you. They'll help." Tony reassures.

So Bruce has been here? Has spoken to Tony? Are they working together now? Perhaps this was planned from the beginning, working against him…

"Go back to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

"Please… Don't… Don't put me back in the dark… I'll be good… Just please don't…" He starts to beg; he wishes he didn't have to but he can barely lift his head, he has to keep Tony on his good side to make sure that he lets him out at the end. Even if that does mean to ignore his anger for just a little while.

Tony feels like there's something wrapped around his heart and squeezing; his words and the helpless look on his face just… How can he think that he's going to hurt him? He knows that he's not going to trust him because he lied to him but that doesn't mean that he's going to hurt him. Then it hits him, Howard used to surround him in darkness whenever he did something wrong. He takes in a deep breath trying to get rid of the sick feeling in his stomach. It may not be the best idea but he can't stop himself from doing it. He grasps Loki's hand gently and moves a little closer.

"Loki, I may share his last name but that's the only thing we have in common. I want to help you, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Now get some more rest, the more you rest the sooner you can get better and be back in your own bed. Even if that does mean you have to suffer Thor again." It's in Tony's biology to always make a joke to lighten the mood, regardless of the situation. Surprisingly it seems to work, there a small smile on Loki's face although he's probably not in his right mind because of the flu. That doesn't matter, not if he gets to hold onto his friend for a little while longer. Loki's body relaxes again and his eyes start to close. After a couple of minutes his breathing evens out and he's fallen asleep. Tony uses this time to shower and get himself something to eat before returning back to his bedside.

**x-x-x**

It's a couple of days later and Loki feels slightly stronger than he has been; he still feels tired and slow but he's able to sit up on his own and not pass out during a conversation with Tony. Although that's not been a bad thing, he's not been able to face him after everything. To some people it may seem that he's overreacting but it's not like that to Loki; for once Thor seemed to be on the same page as him over the whole thing. He wonders how Bruce would view it but he's not been able to ask him or even talk to him; thinking about it he doesn't know where his phone is… Or his clothes. He's been vaguely aware of the fact that he's not in his own clothes but it's only just hit him how he would have got in those clothes; Tony would have undressed him and then put him in the new clothes. His body shudders involuntarily at the thought. The covers are suddenly tight around him again; his eyes fly open to see what's going on.

"Thought you were cold…" Tony mumbles.

"Thanks…" He's surprised at how attentive that he's being. A part of Loki wants to believe that Tony isn't like his dad and he is trying to do the best thing by him but he can't seem to. No, all he's doing is winning his trust back again so he can betray him and do whatever he wants to him without Loki even noticing. He's not going to let that happen again; if Tony's going to pretend then so is Loki.

"Do you want anything to eat? You've not eaten since this morning."

"This morning…?" Wait, he fell asleep again? Missed the whole day… Has Tony been sitting there the entire time? Sitting in the bed doing nothing but sleeping is making him lose track of the days; he doesn't know how long it's been since the interview or if his family even know where he is. They must do… But if they do why haven't they visited? Or have they come when he's been sleeping? He's as confused as he was when he first left the room and he's not comfortable with that; he feels vulnerable again, not that he isn't, he hates being dependent on Tony. The shame he feels whenever he needs help going to the bathroom is unbearable; even when he first come out of the room he wasn't as bad as this.

"Yeah, you woke up, I gave you some more tablets and water… Then I gave you some toast. I'm not the best cook in the world but you seemed to like that."

"Right…"

"So do you want some soup?"

Loki pauses and reminds himself of his plan, to play him at his own game. He nods his head and Tony smiles at him. His carer jumps up and tells him to wait there as he leaves the room. Of course he's going to wait there, where else can he go? He can barely get out of the bed without help. Loki patiently waits for Tony to bring him his food; he pulls himself up into a sitting position so he can try and have a look round the room. He scans the room hoping to find his phone somewhere; he sees it resting on a desk by the window. It's too far away for him to just reach over; he could probably try to get out of bed and get there but Tony told him to wait where he was; if he disobeys him he won't be able to win his trust. And the darkness will come.

"Y'know, staring at it won't make it get closer to you." Tony comments smiling; whilst walking over to the bed with soup on a tray. Loki jumps violently at the unexpected sound, Tony's surprised he has the energy to do that; it's the most he's seen him moved since he's arrived. The shock brings on another coughing fit, leaving his throat feel like it was raw. He feels a dip in the bed and the tray is put across his lap. Once it's placed there he observes the chicken soup that has been placed in front of him; he's had soup a few times, it's something he used to make when he was in the room. That's why Tony has given it to him; he knows it'll bring back the memories. He's trying to train him and get him used to the things he used to have there so it's not as big of a change.

"Do you need me to feed you or can you do it yourself?" Tony asks, not making a joke or mocking him but being completely serious.

"I am not a child. I'm perfectly capable of feeding myself." It amazes Loki that words were able to make their way up his throat; although it was agony only for them to come out in a nasal tone.

"Well you're clearly starting to feel better; you're certainly acting like your old snarky self." Tony smirks. "Seeing as you're fairly conscious and able to maintain conversation… Maybe this would be a good time to… Y'know… Talk about…"

Loki takes a while to swallow his first spoonful of soup, clearly trying to give himself more time before he answers. He does have questions but Tony is in the dominant position out of the two; he could enrage him with his questions and it could all go horribly wrong. Then again it is Tony's idea to talk about it which means that he wants to so it could work in Loki's favour to obey and just get it over with. At least he'd get his answers before he was sent back into his silent room. Loki nods in response still eating his soup.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to scare you off… I wanted to become your friend and I didn't think you'd let me if you knew who I was." Tony starts explaining.

"So why didn't you tell me… After you met me?" Loki asks, wincing as his words burn his throat.

"Okay this is going to sound lame but there wasn't a good time to do it… We were always talking about something… I had planned to tell you at the zoo but then you got upset and if I told you then it was only going to make things worse…"

"Oh. So it's my fault?" He scowls over his spoon.

"No, no I didn't mean it like that." Tony sighs running a hand through his hair; none of this is coming out how he wanted it to. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, a part of him is pleased that he's weakened by the flu otherwise this would be near impossible to do. "I just… I never wanted to hurt you. I always knew that you weren't going to take it well and I understand that but I didn't want it to come out the way it did. And I'm certainly not continuing what Howard started."

"You still should have told me. I'm not a child. I wouldn't have been completely broken or destroyed by it… You all think I'm too vulnerable or delicate... Just because I'm not strictly like the rest of you…!" Loki pants softly trying to catch his breath so he can finish off his dinner.

"I know you're not, Loki I was just worried. I really care about you and I didn't want to mess things up… Well any more than what they would be…"

Loki stays silent and finishes his soup; even when it's all gone he stays staring into the empty bowl not knowing what to say. There's sincerity in his words that he wasn't expecting… If he's lying to him then he's a practised liar who'll be able to manipulate him however he wants. But then… What if he isn't lying? What if he is telling the truth and it was all a huge understanding? It's happened in films and books but they're just fiction; things like that surely don't happen in real life… He tugs at his hair thinking; Tony chuckles at Loki's disgusted facial expression. This is the longest he's gone without having a shower and he's suddenly well aware of that fact, aware of every single piece of bacteria on his skin. He shudders at the thought.

"What's wrong?" Tony asks still smiling.

"My hair feels awful… My skin feels awful… I just want to shower…" He says the last part quietly; he's expecting to be denied the right.

"Oh yeah, sure. Sorry I've not cleaned you… I thought it'd be inappropriate to give you a blanket bath considering the situation. Although if you really want one I'd happily oblige." Although he knows that it's far too early to pretend that nothing ever happened and to just move on; he just ignores the little, rational, voice in his head and just comes out with it.

As much as it hurts Loki can feel a small laugh bubbling up his throat but he doesn't let it escape. On the surface you couldn't tell that he found that amusing, he chooses to keep this to himself until he can be sure on Tony's true intentions. The silence and steely expression from the boy make Tony uncomfortable and, like most things he says, he regrets it.

"Here let me help." Tony says, standing up; he takes the tray away and pulls the covers down to try and help Loki get out of bed. Loki swings his legs round to put his feet on the floor; Tony rushes to his side and holds his arm to help him up like he's had to do to help him go to the bathroom. At the touch Loki flinches and pulls his arm away; Tony jerks back, worried that he's hurt him or scared him. He's lucid enough to fight back now; he's probably wanted to do this the entire time.

"I don't need… Your help."

Tony nods stepping back giving Loki space to stand up; he's not certain that Loki can do this on his own but he's not going to stand in his way or worry over him the way Thor does. He can see Loki struggling to maintain his balance but he stands still waiting to be asked for help; Loki may be proud but he recognises when he's defeated. However Loki doesn't ask for his help this time, he takes his time and he eventually makes it into the en suite. Tony waits a few minutes in case he's called to help him figure out how to turn on the shower; after around five minutes he starts to walk in there to offer his assistance. His hand lightly grasps the door handle when the soft sound of pouring water comes from the other side. The genius smiles to himself and decides to go and get Loki some more clothes for when he comes out; although the look on Loki's face if he had to put the old clothes on would be quite amusing… No, he can't do that to Loki, he's trying to win his trust back, not push him away further. Back in Jarvis' room he picks out similar clothes that he did the first time; even though Loki is conscious enough to start being difficult he won't refuse clean clothes. Pleased with his selection Tony goes back to the room; he can hear the water still running so he just leaves the clothes folded on the bed. He perches himself on the bed, scrolling through his messages when he hears a loud thump coming from the other room. Acting on instinct he jumps off the bed and heads towards the door; his hand goes out to grab the handle but the rational part of his mind stops him.

"Loki? Are you okay in there?" Tony calls, he could have dropped a shampoo bottle or something… He pauses. There's no answer. _Stay calm Tony, stay calm._ "Loki? Can you hear me? Are you okay?" He calls louder, just in case Loki couldn't hear him over the shower. He pauses again. Still no answer. He can't wait any longer. "I'm coming in!" Tony announces as he makes his way into the bathroom.

The first thing he sees is Loki hunched over on the floor of the shower; he has his back to Tony and he notices that he's trying to sit up but his arms are shaking. He grabs a couple of towels and walks over to him. Gently he puts his hand on Loki's arm; Loki quickly pulls it away and loses his balance again. The wet raven hair slowly shakes; still refusing help. Tony sighs and sits on the wet floor next to his stubborn guest. Loki shifts trying to cover himself up and move away from Tony. And he thought that he couldn't feel more vulnerable…

"Were you just about to get out or…?"

"No…" Loki mumbles, ashamed.

"What happened?"

"I… I just… Felt dizzy…"

"We'll get you back into bed; have you take some more tablets and you should be feeling better. This is the longest you've stayed vertical, you probably strained yourself." Tony explains, trying to keep him, reassure him that it's normal.

"No… I'm not… Finished. I'm not clean…" Loki weakly protests, starting to get upset that he can't perform a simple task. A task that he needs to do in order to make himself feel better and like himself again. He can feel fingers gently running though his hair, causing his breathing to even out again.

"Let me help you, please." Tony has his other hand under Loki's chin, forcing him to look him in the eyes. Gazing into the emerald orbs he can see walls reluctantly being pulled down and he subtly nods his head in agreement. "Have you done your hair?" Again, another nod. "I promise to keep my hands where you can see them." Loki knows that he's just joking but the comment puts him on edge and makes him feel uneasy… But not in a wholly unpleasant way which he doesn't understand.

Tony grabs a bottle from the side and pours some of the metallic, pale blue liquid onto his palm. Cautiously he applies it to Loki's shoulders and arms first; he knew Loki was long limbed but he's never been able to appreciate it until now. He takes his time, moving back to his torso applying more; running his hands soothingly across his chest and surprisingly toned stomach muscles. Loki's stomach flutters under the touch; sensitive to the touch of Tony's rough hands but surprisingly tender touches. Tony doesn't notice the pink tinge to Loki's face; he places a towel on his lap to make him feel more comfortable as he moves to his legs. He starts with Loki's feet and slowly makes his way up to his calves, massaging them as he does it. His touch becomes lighter as they make their way to his thighs; worried he's going too far and making the situation more uncomfortable than it already is. Compared to Thor, Loki might seem slight and small but being this close to him he can tell that it's not true. Despite his fall, his thighs are strong and would be able to take anything that he was given; without breaking. If he had them wrapped around your neck he'd probably kill you. Tony's hands linger as the thought comes into his mind, amusing him in ways it shouldn't.

Loki coughs and sniffs, leaning back a little with a deep ache in his back and shoulders. Tony moves so he's sitting behind him, where he has better access to his flawless back. He's never seen someone so pure and untouched before; it's the most rare and beautiful thing that he had ever been in contact with. He lathers his hands for the last time and works his back, once again massaging; his fingers working deep into the muscles. A small content noise comes from the boy in front of him as his body completely eases into his hands; Loki's mind might be screaming at him to stay alert and stay distant but right now he can't listen. The pressure being applied is gone and Tony grunts as he tries to get off the floor; cracking his joints as he does so. A hand is open in front of him; he takes it and attempts to pull himself up. Loki stumbles a little and like before Tony instantly reaches out to help him, but unlike before Loki simply lets him and then pulls the towel securely around his waist.

Standing up again makes him feel ill and reminds him of how exhausted he is; he feels all of his energy just being drained from him. Tony shuts off the shower and allows Loki to lean on him as he helps him back into the room. Loki is perched on the end of the bed and stays still whilst Tony uses another towel to dry him; using the same careful strokes as before. Once he's finished he motions to the clothes sitting on the bed.

"Do you need help getting those on?"

Loki knows if he said yes, Tony wouldn't have any problems with helping, but he's relied on him far too much for one day. Instead he just shakes his head and offers a small smile of thanks. Tony seems happy enough with that and takes the towel in his hands back to the bathroom, giving Loki some space and privacy, not that he really has anything to hide from him now. He waits a short while before going back in, changing out of his own wet clothes while he has the chance. On the bed is Loki, in clean clothes with damp hair clinging to his well framed face and long neck. His hair has grown since the photos he first saw of him being taken out of the room. Loki's eyes are half closed, not really taking in what's going on around him. Tony smiles and guides him under the covers to help him sleep. Now Loki is going back to sleep he's going to use this time to tinker around in his work shop and shower properly. He's just about to leave the room with the dirty clothes over his forearm and tray in his hands when he hears Loki speak softly.

"Thank you, Tony…" If the room hadn't have already been silent he wouldn't have been able to catch the words at all.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three

**A/N:** I hope you enjoy (:

**Chapter Twenty –Three**

It's been two days since Tony helped Loki in the shower and it's the only thing that's been on his mind. He knows that Loki is defenceless and dependent right now; he can't take advantage of that, not now… Not ever. As soon as Loki has to go back he has promised himself a night out to find someone to take his mind off him for a few hours. Luckily since then Loki has been more independent and stronger, so he doesn't have him lean on him. As much as that thought makes him feel relieved it also makes him sad; he'll be alone once again, back with his family who'll probably brain wash Loki into hating him and he'll never hear from him again. It's still the morning and Loki's still asleep; Tony's downstairs about to make breakfast, ensuring that Loki has a regular eating pattern to get his strength back to how it was. A knock at the door distracts him. Annoyed at the interruption he goes to answer it only to find Pepper and Rhodey on the other side; Pepper looking furious and Rhodey stern yet… Somewhat apologetic.

"Oh hey guys what are you-?" Tony starts, putting on his best smile and cheery voice.

"Cut the crap, Tony. You know exactly why we're here. Or maybe you would if you actually bothered to check your phone. What the hell are you playing at this time?! Didn't you think you should call us after the interview?! We saw what happened. We ALL saw what happened. Why didn't you listen to me-?!" Pepper rants, screeching at him.

"Us." Rhodey interrupts, gently reminding her that he's worried about his friend's welfare as much as she is. However, this doesn't go appreciated by Pepper who just glares at him, putting him back in his place.

"And if things couldn't get any worse you go and kidnap him! I thought you said that you aren't like your dad! This isn't a good way to go about showing people that you're different from him! Where are you keeping him?! In the room too?!" Her eyes widen in horror and a hand comes over to cover her mouth; disgusted by her own words. She doesn't mean them and part of Tony's brain acknowledges that but he's not willing to accept it. Without answering her claims he tries to shut the door. Rhodey places his foot in the gap preventing him from being able to shut them out.

"Let us in so we can talk about this calmly. We've just been worried, you know she doesn't mean it but we've been having a rough time with this all too y'know?" Rhodey explains, keeping his voice level. After the way he was spoken to, Tony doesn't really want to let them in but he knows it's only going to be worse if he doesn't. Then Rhodey is just going to make him feel guilty over making his girlfriend upset about the whole thing. Without replying Tony sighs, leaving the door open and walking to the living room where they can follow him to. Relief washes through them both when they're granted access to the inside; they've been trying to contact him ever since the interview without any success. They had a feeling that, that's what would happen but they hoped that maybe for once he'd report back to them for a change rather than having to chase him for it. They sit on the sofa opposite Tony, giving him some space for when they ask him he questions. It doesn't look like this room has been used for a while, everything is still in order from when they came to tidy up and force him into sobriety.

Rhodey whispers something into Pepper's ear that Tony can't quite catch; but from his body language and the expression on her face he's telling her something along the lines of 'stay calm.' Pepper doesn't look happy about the instructions she's being given but she knows that he's right; which is pretty hard for her to take as she's used to being in control. They're Tony's best friends, the people he always feels comfortable around but today it doesn't feel that way. All he wants to do is go back up to Loki instead and make sure he's okay. He stares at them, unimpressed, waiting for them to say something to him. If they want to come round to speak to him the least they could do is _actually_ speak to him.

"So. What's been happening, Tony? Why have you been so _busy_ that you can't even be bothered to reply to us?" Pepper asks, stern and angry but calmer than her last outburst.

"I've had a lot to deal with-" He starts, shrugging.

"But you don't have to deal with it alone, you know this, we've told you this. We're your friends and we want to help you." Pepper sighs; she's not going to pretend she believes what he's doing is a good idea but he could at least keep them up to date about it. That's what they agreed.

"No you don't; you want to help me _not_ do what I'm doing. Look, you were right about the interview being a stupid idea, I'll give you that but it's actually worked out in my favour."

"How has it worked out in your favour? And why are the press running stories about you having him locked up here?" Rhodey asks, confused. His confusion is matched in Tony's eyes; where he's been looking after Loki he hasn't been looking to say what the press have been saying about him. Sometimes he likes to amuse himself by reading whatever rumours they're spreading next; depending on what it is he sometimes likes to go out and prove those rumours to be truth. It's lost its charm now though; now Howard can't see them, not that he paid much attention before.

"I don't have him locked up here… He's free to walk around the house if he can manage it." Tony smirks at the look on his friend's faces; both of them praying this is one of his jokes that no one else but him find funny. "After he run off from the interview I ran out after him but his brother cornered me in the corridor; threatening me, y'know the usual stuff. The rest of his family came out and we all started looking for him. Eventually I found him at the zoo-"

"The zoo? Why the zoo? I thought you said that date didn't go well?" Pepper interrupts.

"I don't know, I didn't think to ask him, we've kinda had a lot of other things to talk about." Tony replies bluntly; but now she's asked that he's curious as to why he was there too. He was so caught up in trying to explain his actions he didn't even think to question Loki's. "Anyway, so I found him at the zoo, curled up on the floor. He'd been there for a while and he was cold and wet from the rain so I brought him back here."

"Why didn't you take him home?" Rhodey asks as that seems like the most obvious thing to do, regardless of the situation.

"Because I didn't want to deal with having my face rearranged by his older brother… Plus I wanted to be able to talk to him alone. If I gave him back then I wouldn't have had a chance to explain why I did what I did. Although, I was going to give him back if I had to but Dr Banner came over and agreed to let him stay. I've been letting him know his progress and he should be coming over this week to check him."

"Wait, who's Dr Banner?"

"Loki's head doctor person. I don't know. He's pretty cool though, I think I've grown on him." He grins and his friends shake their head at his arrogance. "Loki's had the flu and it's the first time he's been this ill so it hit him pretty hard. I actually got to bathe him the other day." Neither of his friends can believe how pleased of himself Tony looks.

"Tony… How… How did that even come about…?" Pepper asks carefully; Rhodey has already told her about Tony's few times with men, no matter how much he wants to keep it to himself until he's figured out what it means to him they still know and neither of them care. Tony jokes with them about things like this but he's never sat down and had a serious conversation with them over it; it's one of the only topics they're going to wait for him to go to them about.

"Well he's quite proud and likes to be clean and he couldn't do it himself so, like the kind person I am, I offered to help him out."

"Right… When you say help him out did you just help him stand up or…?" This time it's Rhodey to question him.

"No, we sat on the floor together and I washed him. And before you ask no, it wasn't anything sexual. I behaved like a perfect gentleman, I'll have you know."

"Did he mind?"

"He didn't seem to and he'd let me know if he ever didn't want to do something, trust me." Tony chuckles but then his face turns serious, "let me guess, this is yet another thing that you don't approve of."

"Tony, I get you know Loki better than we do but he doesn't think like normal people… Other than this Dr Banner you're probably the only one to have him be this dependent; from what you've said I doubt he'd let his brother help him shower. You just need to be careful with him; you could be doing these things in a completely platonic sense but he might not see it that way. He might think that you want more from him; he's not going to have any experience of sex or sexual feelings but he's not going to be completely ignorant." Pepper clarifies her worry and Tony makes a face understanding what she's saying. Loki's already kissed him and Tony never did really find out what all that was actually about. Tony just thought he was helping him; he didn't realise that he was just confusing him even more, the way he's been looking at him since the interview happened the thought that he might like him hadn't even crossed his mind.

"What if… What if I don't… Mind if he wants more?" Tony voices his thoughts. His friends stare at him in shock at his words.

"No. Tony you can't want more. It's not wise for you to get involved with someone that damaged; especially by your father's hand. I know don't care about it but if the press got hold of it then that'd make you look like some predator and that Howard brought him up to marry him off to you. You probably don't even like him-"

"What because he's a guy? Please, Pep, this is the 21st century-"

"No! Not because he's a guy! You could go your whole life without dating another woman and I wouldn't care! It's because to him he's another experiment! He's one that was started by your father and now you've taken him on as your own with a whole new goal in mind. I know you have better intentions but… He's still just an experiment." She's not intentionally trying to insult either of them but trying to point out something that Tony seems to keep overlooking. When he said he wanted to find him it was to make sure that he could readjust, not become his best friend or even his boyfriend. Pepper doesn't want him to get better and then Tony to just leave because he's done what he set out to accomplish.

"He's not just some _experiment _to me, Pepper… He never was. I know that's how it seemed to you guys but it's different. I wasn't expecting to want to be anything more than a friend either but it's happened and I don't know what to do. It's not ideal, I know it's not but it's happened and there's nothing I can do about it." Tony sounds completely defeated; he's never really had feelings for another person. He's only ever liked someone based on how attractive and easy they were; he's never tried anything exclusive and has a rule that he doesn't sleep with a person more than three or four times depending on their behaviour (and how amazing they are in bed) in case it becomes too much like a relationship to him. Growing up he never saw anything resembling a relationship until he got to college and those hardly counted as many of them didn't last more than two semesters at the most. The only functional relationship he's ever been exposed to is the one his two best friends have. Now he's seen it work, he feels more reassured about getting involved in one himself. But not yet, that's going way too fast.

Both of his friends are unsure how they feel about his own admission. For a long time they've wanted Tony to find someone to make him happy; who'd be a match for his wit and intelligence; know how to put him in his place and keep him satisfied so he doesn't go running into someone else's bed. Neither of them Loki well enough to think that he could be up to the challenge; but what they do know is that if Tony isn't careful he could end up taking advantage of the boy. After seeing how he has responded to the whole thing he would never intentionally hurt Loki; but because of his own obliviousness and the fact he always thinks he's right, that doesn't mean he won't hurt him unintentionally like he has already done.

"So what do you want to do?" Rhodey speaks up.

"What do you mean?"

"Like a relationship or…?"

Tony chuckles, "can you imagine me in a relationship?" He shakes his head and pauses. "I don't know… The idea doesn't repulse me like it usually would but I know it's not right to do it either…"

"I think that's the most sensible thing I've ever heard you say. And you're a self-proclaimed genius. And I've known you for years." Pepper laughs.

"But, Pep, when have I ever done what's right?" He smirks, partly teasing her and partly warning her that it's unlikely he'll take his own advice.

She shakes her head and sighs, "will you at least wait before you get yourself involved with him?"

"We've already kissed, I've got him into bed and I've touched him naked. I think I'm already somewhat involved."

"Yeah but all that was in a platonic way." Rhodey points out, "adding feelings and whatever else into the mix can just completely turn everything on its head. Pepper's right, you need to be careful when it comes to Loki. Tony I'm happy you're finally looking for something more than just a night in your bed, or wherever, but you still need to think about it and take it slow."

"I'll _try_… Maybe… Slow isn't really something in my vocabulary. Besides, he might not even want any of this and in that case you're both overreacting."

"Well why don't you ask him?" Rhodey and nodding in the direction of the door. Tony makes a face at him and looks round to find Loki standing there still in the same clothes he's been wearing since the shower. His eyes are a brighter green than they have been and are locked onto Tony. Loki's tall frame rests against the door's; his chest rising and falling quicker than normal but Tony puts that down to him having to walk down the stairs to find him. Suddenly Tony feels guilty that he wasn't there when Loki woke up, it would be the first time that's happened since he's arrived and he didn't even get to finish making his breakfast.

"Hey, Loks, how are you feeling?" Tony asks, his expression changing and instantly standing to help him.

"Did you mean it?" His voice is still quiet but not as hoarse or as broken as it sounded before. Now his voice is clearer Tony can't mistake the confusion but a part of him wonders if there's a tone of hope alongside it too, whether it's conscious or not.

"Mean what?" Tony may want to do all these things with Loki but there's something within him that is scared of doing this too. As Pepper and Rhodey like to remind him, he hasn't ever wanted anything like this before; there's always been something there to stop him which doesn't seem to be there this time. Although all the signs point to Loki hearing some parts of the conversation; there's a small voice wishing that somehow he hasn't, buying him more time to think more about what he wants to do.

"That you want something… With me… Something more…" This time the pauses in his words aren't because of pain but because he's hesitant to let them leave his mouth and thoughts. From being in the room Loki has learnt that he can't just not question things anymore, despite the fear of the darkness. After being looked after by Tony he's starting to believe his words, but he's still cautious and is worried about pushing him too far.

Now it's Tony's turn to stare; he _wants_ to grab him and tell him yes and that he wants to build him and protect him but… There's the fear holding him back. It's becoming harder to gage what Loki will do and what reaction he will get; he's always been unpredictable but before that wouldn't have been a problem – now it won't just be Loki getting hurt, Tony will get caught up in it too. Then when that goes wrong Pepper and Rhodey will have to put up with him moping; his self-destructive tendencies and watch him fall back into old habits. It may not have been the most conventional idea but Tony helping Loki has caused his friends to see a change in him too; his personality is slightly altered and branching off in ways they had never expected. Thinking that this would be a good time to leave the two of them alone, Rhodey goes to stand up so they can talk it all out but Pepper has other ideas.

"Oh! You must be Loki?" She smiles, making Loki's focus to move from Tony to her. Pepper realises that they need to have this talk; to find out what the other one is thinking in order for them to know how to progress but she also wants to know what Tony's getting himself into. What he's _got_ himself into. Loki appears to be taken aback by her greeting; he observes her for a couple moments before replying.

"Yes… And you are?" It angers Loki that everyone knows who he is and he knows it'll happen even more about that disaster of an interview.

"Wow, Tony's personality must have rubbed off on him." Rhodey murmurs in her ear, which doesn't go unnoticed by the others.

"What was that?" Loki challenges.

"I'm Pepper; a close friend of Tony's and this is Rhodey, another close friend of Tony's" She introduces, smiling, ignoring his question. Tony brings his arm around Loki's shoulders and guides him to the sofa that he was sitting on too.

"Hm. He's mentioned you." He knows he may appear to be being rude but he desperately wants to talk to Tony.

"Good things I hope."

"He doesn't talk of you as highly as he talks about himself."

"Well that's no surprise." Rhodey laughs and Tony just offers a modest shrug, grinning at him.

"Well what can I say? I am pretty goddamn awesome." Loki rolls his eyes at the comment. He doesn't quite understand what has drawn him to Tony. Especially after everything that's been happening; he hates the fact that his family was right with what they were saying and he dreads going back to hear them boast about the fact. But Loki knows differently now, right? He's seen another side to Tony this past week or so… He doesn't want his family to be right and to have this taken away from him; he wants to do everything to stop that.

"I can think of better people to be around." Rhodey teases.

"Then why are you constantly harassing me?"

"To make sure you're not doing things you shouldn't be; not that has ever stopped you in the past…"

"Then why bother? I'll tell you why, it's because you can't bear to be away from me."

"Yet you can spend time with your insufferable woman?" Loki mumbles, yet loud enough for them all to hear. Tony finds it hard to suppress his laughter so gives up so Loki doesn't have to fight the battle against her alone.

"I'm guessing you're basing that on what Tony has told you? He doesn't realise how much he needs me." Pepper defends herself when neither Rhodey nor Tony offer to do it.

"And you call Tony arrogant… Besides; I'm able to make up my own mind about people."

Before Pepper can respond Rhodey sees an opportunity to jump in. "Right, Pep, we better get going and leave these two to talk." It's obvious that she wants to protest but she knows that wouldn't be for the best; she also wants to appear to seem somewhat agreeable to Loki. It wouldn't bother her, what people think of her but if this is going to be her best friend's boyfriend, she needs to make a better impression. They say goodbye and make Tony promise to keep them updated; he agrees but they doubt his words. Now they're gone the room seems empty and silent despite the boy sitting beside him.

"Well?" Loki's impatience stops the silence.

"Well what?" The genius continues to pretend the entire issue has gone over his head; but it doesn't work with Loki.

"You know very well what. I may not be my full self but I know you are your normal self… And you're many things but stupid isn't one of them. You only make stupid decisions."

"What was that kiss about?" He might as well be blunt with him if he isn't going to fall for anything else.

A colour creeps onto Loki's cheeks that he's not seen since the kiss in question actually happened. He lowers his eyes and searches for an answer. "I wanted to do it. I just… I don't know… I understand more than most people assume I do but, there are still some things you can't truly understand before you've experienced them for yourself…"

"And what do you want to experience?" His trademark smirk spreading across his face. _No, Tony. Bad, Tony. _

"I don't know… Love, lust, attraction… I don't know. I don't know how any of this happens. And I hate it. I hate being so weak with ignorance and inexperience." His breathing becomes ragged as he becomes angry and excited.

"I haven't experienced love." Tony admits; this catches Loki's attention. The way he flirts and the stories he's told implies different. "But I have had my fair share of lust and attraction."

"But not with any of your friends."

"I have."

"Pepper?"

"No."

"The other one?"

"No."

Loki pauses, surveying Tony, he didn't think that he had any other friends. If he does he's never mentioned them to Loki; but why would he? He's managed to keep other things away from him so it wouldn't be a surprise if there were more things to add to the list.

"So who?"

"Do you really have to ask that? I thought you were smarter than that." As usual, trying to lighten the mood.

"I think we've established I know nothing in this field." Loki's voice so low it almost sounds like a growl.

"It's you, Loki. It has been since the café… I just didn't realise it until this week. I'm not good with feelings and relationships and shit like that; I'm the worst person to teach you what you want to know in this area but if you want my help, I'll gladly give it to you."

"But why?"

"What you should have learnt already, or what you will, is that it's not always obvious why. It just kind of happens and you can't help it when it does; you just have to go with it until you grow out of it… Until it goes away. Which is what I'm prepared to do, if you don't want me to help you or if you don't want any of this with me."

Once again the room is silent as Loki digests the information that he's just been given. He never once thought that this would happen; when he was in his room he never entertained the idea that one day he would find someone like the characters would in his books. Even when he was allowed out of the room it was the last thing on his mind; it was until it was brought on by Tony… Someone who's deceived him yet showed him more care than nearly everyone he knows (although that's not many). The faces of his family come into his mind as he pictures their expressions if they found out that him and Tony were more than just friends. Mother would be understanding, perhaps even supportive. But Thor would continue to be overprotective, get worse if that was possible and father… Well… His face probably wouldn't change at all. Although he may spare a glance at him for a change. He's spent his whole life doing things that he's been told to do; forced to do through isolation. Why can't he be selfish for once?

"I'd like that…"

"Like what? Me to just let it go away?"

"No! No… I'd like your help."

Tony smiles, "I'm sorry, I don't quite think I heard that?"

"I'm not saying it again. If you wish to be difficult and alone then I can indulge you." His defences slowly start to rise again; his legs lifting his body off of the seat.

Tony reaches up and grabs the front of Loki's shirt pulling him back down; closer to him than he was before. Loki watches him, worried that he's angered him but that quickly disappears when Tony's lips are against his. It's different to how it was last time; before it was quick and hardly a kiss at all, there was no feeling to it but now… Now it was different. What Loki thought he felt for Tony wasn't as wrong as he thought and now it's being reciprocated. Loki's brought back from his thoughts as there's more pressure applied to his bottom lip and something is trying to push its way between them. He allows it to enter and for Tony to take complete control; Tony is trying to be careful to not take advantage but he can't help but going for a little more. Just to let him know he means more to him than what he might admit with words, for now at least.

In this moment Loki feels normal; he's not Loki from the room, or Loki from the awful interview, he's Loki Odinson with Tony Stark. The boy who is more than just a friend.


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Loki still hasn't come home since the interview over a week ago; although for Odin it feels like he's got his life back from before he re-entered their lives. Well, it would if Frigga and Thor weren't constantly fretting over him. To him they are overreacting and acting as though he's never going to come back home and they're never going to see them again. They've both wanted to go and visit him at his first home of Stark Mansion but he has managed to dissuade them from acting on that notion. Thor is a lot harder to convince than his wife; he has her trained now and she trusts him regardless of what he asks her to do – there were times when she would fight him but she'd come round and see that he was doing the right thing and would simply submit to him. His son, on the other hand, takes after him more than his mother – it's something that he is proud of and will always boast about but there are times when this isn't a positive trait to have. He's as stubborn and fierce as his father is; sometimes his mother's caring and warm-heartedness comes through to balance it out but it appears where Loki is involved he becomes aggressive and protective. When he was like this just with his mother he thought it was the makings of a man; he loved how respectful he was but with Loki, he hates feeling that he no longer has much control over it.

Many different people have been calling since the interview: friends, family and other members of the press. Odin knew this would happen and he was prepared for this; the stock in his company increases one minute and then decreases the next because his investors are no longer sure of the man. On the one hand they believe him to have been misled and lost his son because of it; then there's some people who can't trust him for even putting his son up for an experiment at all. As long as they never find out the truth he doesn't mind. A lot of the family want to meet Loki and welcome him but for once both Odin and Frigga can agree that a big family reunion might be too much for him; it'll also force Odin to accept that Loki is part of the family now and nothing will change that. When Loki came back he wanted to tell him that he was adopted and that they weren't his family but they were going to let him stay regardless of that; there was no way he could go back to Laufey after everything. In fact, Odin hasn't seen Laufey since it all happened or even heard from him; he doesn't mind that so much, it makes it easier for him to control everything around him.

Frigga has been on edge since it all kicked off; especially after hearing that Loki's sick because of it. They haven't had any messages directly from Loki but they have been receiving updates from Dr Banner who's getting them from Tony. Odin finds it inappropriately amusing that Tony is the one that's looking after Loki after his father was the one that made him ill and broke him to begin with. The thought that Tony might want to keep him there doesn't unsettle him the way it does with Frigga and Thor; Odin thinks it could be good for Loki if he's not ready to be in the real world. But to Frigga it's losing her child all over again. She knows that he was never really hers to begin with but that doesn't stop her from wanting him to be. As soon as Laufey gave him up and Odin brought him home that's when he was part of the family; whether he was brought up by them or not.

She sits on the edge of her sofa waiting for her phone to light up with her daily update; since Odin has practically forbidden them to not go and see him they're the only things she looks forward too. However, from what Dr Banner has told them Loki should be coming home after another day or two which has calmed her down. It does kill her that she can't be with him and help him get better; whenever Thor was ill she always makes a bed for him on the sofa, bring him soup and watch films with him. Even when he outgrew the sofa he would still do it and she would happily oblige, not wanting her son to ever outgrow her. Thor has been the only thing keeping her mood lifted since Loki hasn't been back and has backed her up during her arguments with Odin. Every night Thor is subjected into listening his parents shout and scream at each other over their differing opinions on what was right for him and not. Most of the time he can't just sit there and listen; he gets involved and fights his mother's corner. To them, Odin had no right to deceive them the way that he did, they know he wasn't looking out for Loki's best interests he was going to whoever was offering the most money for the exclusive.

It makes Thor's blood boil that the boy that betrayed his brother is trying to heal him. Is he trying to heal him? They've only his word and Dr Banner's that Loki is even ill; it's possible that Dr Banner could be bought into doing whatever Stark wanted him too, and it's no secret that he couldn't afford whatever the doctor asked for. He's probably trying to lock Loki up again; he's taken his phone from him and made him completely dependent on him. Dr Banner has said that he'll try and bring Loki home soon but how true is that? Loki may believe and trust him but he also trusted Tony. Frigga seems to be happy that Tony is looking after Loki; that Loki has forgiven Tony and able to keep the one friend that he's made. She understands that it wasn't the best idea to keep his identity from him but she appreciates that he didn't want to upset Loki; he wanted to get to know him before he revealed it.

"Have you heard from Dr Banner, mother?" Thor asks as Frigga strokes the screen of her phone.

"No, dear, not yet." She forces a smile.

Thor sighs; he sits next to her and strokes her hand. "I'm sure he's fine." He may not believe it himself but he has to; especially for his mother's sake.

"Of course he is, Thor. He'll be home soon too." Frigga reminds them, not quite sure who she's trying to convince. Her body jumps slightly and eyes brighten when the phone vibrates in her hand. She makes a soft gasp as she reads the message which worries Thor.

"Mother, what is it? What's wrong?"

His mother doesn't answer; instead she beams and shows him the message.

_**Hello, Mother. I'm sorry I've not contacted you, I've not been well enough to do it. I'm feeling better than I was, Tony has been looking after me. I'm not feeling up to coming home just yet but I will during the week if Bruce says I can. I hope you're okay and I'm sorry for running out of the interview, I couldn't handle it. I hope I've not disappointed any of you. – Loki**_

Thor smiles, relieved that some of his fears were unfounded. Despite the happiness that they have from this message there is also a sombre feel to it. The fact that he feels as though he's disappointed them because he couldn't cope with the interview grates on Thor. He wishes that Loki didn't feel that way and was comfortable doing what _he_ felt comfortable doing. Thor passes the phone back to Frigga allowing her to reply to him.

_**Hello, darling! Don't worry about any of that, just focus on getting better and coming home to us. I'm pleased that you're doing better, Dr Banner has been sending me updates on your health. I'm looking forward to you coming back to us. I love you, Loki. We all do. – Frigga **_

"See, we just had to be patient." Frigga smiles talking to herself, more than Thor.

"Yes, mother, he's going to be fine and home soon."

_**Is father mad? – Loki**_

Thor's peering over her shoulder when the message comes through; he makes a face and shakes his head. "I don't understand why he's so worried about father, is that why he's delaying coming home?" Odin might not have been the most welcoming when Loki arrived and did trick him but Loki shouldn't have to worry about pleasing him; he needs to worry about getting better and adapting to this work.

"He doesn't think the way we do, Thor. Loki isn't used to Odin's behaviour like we are; he'll soon get used to it."

_**He's not mad at you, Loki. He understands he shouldn't have done what he did, it was his fault, not yours. Please don't let that put you off coming home. – Frigga**_

Thor scoffs, "he doesn't understand."

"He's starting to, he just won't admit it. I can't tell him that he wasn't happy that Loki ran out on the interview, can I? Odin has calmed down since it happened and I know that he'd want Loki back here as soon as possible, he's… He's not a monster, Thor." She explains softly, even if she doesn't believe her own words.

"I know his not but his actions are questionable. I love my father but I don't understand how he has got away with this… Why you let him control you."

"In love you have to make compromises."

"Not _these_ type of compromises, mother. I know you think I am young and foolish, especially in love but you can't expect me to believe this is how I should treat Sif?"

Frigga opens her mouth to speak but she can't find the words; he's right and they both know it. She wouldn't want Thor to turn into Odin; she loves Odin but recently she's been starting to doubt her loyalty. It's hard for her to understand how he could lie so easily to everyone about what _actually_ happened that month with Loki and Laufey and the experiment. It astounds her that no one has questioned it; they're all aware that the police are still working on a case and they're waiting for Loki to adjust before they begin the trial but a part of her hopes they realise there's something wrong sooner. She couldn't tell them what Odin did, she may doubt her loyalty but she wouldn't be able to bring herself to betray him like that.

_**I won't. I'll come home soon, I want to spend more time with Tony and talk to Bruce before I do. But I will come home. – Loki**_

"He's a constant surprise, isn't he?" Thor smiles, changing the subject.

"Yes he is and so are you."

"In a good way?"

"Of course!"

_**Have you forgiven Tony? – Frigga**_

_**I didn't have much of a choice; he saw the opportunity to talk at me without me being able to walk away and took it. – Loki**_

Thor growls reading the message, he doesn't like the fact that Tony took advantage of the situation the way that he did. He also doesn't like the fact that his brother may have been forced into submission and forgiveness; of course Loki doesn't give in without a fight but being ill he wouldn't have been in his right mind or be able to fight back. It still irritates him that he's not been able to see him or bring him back and it'll stay like that until Loki is safely back home. Many times he's thought to just sneak out, but he's worried about how his father would react. He's not worried about what he would say to him but to his mother; no doubt he would be convinced that he went for her sake and Odin would put all the blame on her. Thor couldn't put his mother in that position. Frigga senses her son's anger and knows exactly what to reply.

_**Are you happy in your decision? Did you want to forgive him? – Frigga**_

_**Not at first, but we've spoken at length and he has proved himself worthy of my friendship and a worthy companion. – Loki**_

They both giggle at his response, that's their Loki; it comforts them that the whole experience hasn't changed him. It may have unsettled him and made him feel more vulnerable than he did before, but at least he could overcome it and be himself again. Odin hears their laughter from the kitchen, curious as to what's going on he decides to follow the sound. He finds his wife and his son sitting closely together on the sofa staring at the screen of her phone. For the first time after Loki has been back he allows himself a genuine smile, this is what he wanted all along.

"What is it that's tickled you both?" He asks, wanting to be involved.

"Just a text Loki has sent, father." Thor replies brightly, it wasn't the answer that Odin was expecting. If Loki is contacting them himself then that must mean he'll be coming home sooner than Dr Banner may have thought.

"Oh? What does it say?"

"Just that Tony is 'worthy of his friendship.'" Thor explains looking back at the screen.

"He wants to stay friends with Stark?" Odin's surprised at this; just because he's not involved doesn't mean that he doesn't have any interest in this at all.

"It appears so."

_**Hehe! As long as you're happy, darling :) – Frigga**_

"I wasn't expecting that. Stark betrayed him." He thinks aloud.

"So did you but when he comes home he'll still do everything he can to please you." Thor grumbles, it's not as though he means to hold this against his father but he's still struggling to get his head round what he did to him.

"Thor, we've been through this…" Odin sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose to calm himself down. It physically hurts him the way his eldest looks at him, with such disappointment and anger; it's not a look he ever wanted to see from Thor.

His son's mouth opens to speak but is cut off by a knock at the door; Odin looks at Thor to answer it, if it's the press they seem to be more lenient with Thor if he doesn't want to answer. Silently he follows his father's orders and gets up to answer the door. He has no problem with doing it; he feels better doing it himself – if it was his father and the press at the door he worries about what Odin could be saying next. This whole ordeal has left him with little trust in his father. Slowly he opens the door, making sure to peer out a little first before opening it fully – his friends have teased him over this but they have had press try to force their way in. Standing before him is a man that looks familiar; he doubts that he's ever seen the man before but there's something about him which makes him feel that he knows him or have at least seen his face somewhere. The man's hair is jet back and slicked back without a single strand out of place; his skin is fairly pale yet slightly scarred on his left side. It's his eyes which catch Thor's attention; they're such an intense and confusing brown it's almost as though there are flecks of red in them. He's dressed in a sharp suit which matches his sharp, expressionless face one, Thor thinks, that could rival Odin's.

"Hello?" Thor greets when the man doesn't make an effort to speak.

"Is Odin here?" The man's voice is deep and gravelly; however he seems to have some sort of accent but not a strong one.

"Yes he is. Who's asking for him?" He tries to ask in the most polite way.

"I'm Laufey; I used to work with Odin. I assume you are Thor, his son?"

"Yes that's right… What is it you need from him?"

"A couple of things have recently come to my attention and I'd like to take them up with him; I was in town on business and thought I'd dropped by if he still lived here." Laufey explains, not really giving anything away.

"Oh… Right, sorry I had to ask, we've had so many people try to come in for a story." Thor apologises; he doesn't remember Odin ever mentioning Laufey but he does know he used to have a business partner that had to bail out on him years ago. The man hasn't mentioned Loki and like other visitors they've had to deal with at the door it's usually the first thing they speak about. He steps aside allowing Laufey to enter; shutting the door behind them he leads him to the living room where his parents are still waiting, wanting to see who was at the door.

Odin's eye can't leave the man that follows Thor into the living room and Frigga can't help but gasp when she sees who has come into the room. Laufey's face changes and he starts smiling, like someone would upon seeing an old friend; he walks towards Odin and embraces him. Hesitantly Odin returns it, still in a state of shock seeing him here; there was no reason for Laufey to ever come back, he didn't want his son; he didn't want his business; he didn't want the constant reminder of the wife that he had tragically lost. Laufey steps back and clasps Odin's shoulder; Frigga and Thor simply watch wary of the other man.

"It's good to see you again Laufey." Odin finally greets not knowing what else to say; he doesn't want to get down to whatever business he's come for in front of his family.

"And you, Odin, I'm sorry I've left it so long." Laufey's voice seems softer but there's still something about it that Thor doesn't trust. He may be an old friend of his father's but that status doesn't mean much to him anymore. To him Laufey couldn't have been much of a friend either if Odin hasn't even mentioned him to Thor; he hasn't even overhead it when he's in conversation to Frigga.

"Sit down, would you like a drink?"

"Do you have any tea?"

Odin looks at Frigga and she nods; it's the first time he's looked at her since Laufey has walked in and he can see the fear on her face. Being her husband he feels the need to make that fear go away but he can't afford to get on Laufey's bad side. Neither of them can; he knows too much about the circumstances of Loki's adoption.

"Strong tea would be fine, please."

"Frigga, would you mind?" Odin asks, giving her an excuse to leave the room; although she doesn't want to be kept in the dark.

She nods again and gets up, she motions for Thor to follow her to the kitchen but he refuses. He's made the decision to stop being so ignorant to Odin's dealings and business; since Loki hasn't been there he's been spending more time with him in his office trying to find things out. Odin hasn't seemed to notice Thor's true intentions; he's just pleased that his son is still showing an interest in his work. Once Frigga is out of the room Odin's face changes and Thor realises this isn't the happy reunion that they're pretending it to be.

"So why are you here?" Odin inquires sitting in his chair, gesturing for Laufey to do the same.

Laufey accepts his invitation to sit down. "I think you know why I'm here."

"I think I do too, but I'd still prefer it if you tell me." Odin doesn't want to play his games, he did that for enough years when they were working together.

"I want to see Loki. I've heard what you did to him and I'm deeply disappointed." He replies, confirming Odin's fears.

"You were going to kill him, you dumped him on us. You don't get to play the role of the concerned father, you haven't cared for all these years and you're not fooling anyone by this act you're putting on."

"Father what do you mean?" Thor knows that Loki looks different from them, and now he's heard that he understands why Laufey looks so familiar. Fandral pointed it out to them all when they first met but he didn't believe it; even know, hearing the words he can't believe it. Yet another lie he has been told, and Loki too. Loki... How is he going to react when he finds out? He already thinks that he doesn't belong in the family because of how he was brought up. All he wants to do is protect and help his brother but, Odin is making it more difficult than it has to be.

"Oh, have you not told them?" Laufey asks smirking a little, knowing he has the upper hand now.

"They didn't need to know. Loki doesn't need to know."

Frigga returns with his tea, he takes it from her smiling politely. She can instantly tell that he's upset or unnerved her husband; his stance and expression is different. Whatever was said had upset Thor too, she doesn't miss the way he stares in anger at his father - a position she often finds him in. Laufey sips his steaming drink, his eyes not leaving Odin.

"So where is he then? Or have you sent him to be part in yet another experiment?" He sneers, he's not angry at what Odin did to him - in his eyes Loki deserves it after murdering his wife. In fact he _likes_ that his son is wanted by everyone; they're so desperate he can name any price he wants and they'll pay it just to see him. Like a freak at the circus.

"If Loki's what you've come for then you've had a wasted journey. He's staying at a friends at the moment." Frigga informs him, wanting the man as far away from her family as possible. To go back to whatever country he found refuge in.

"Friend? What friend? Don't lie to me, woman. Who would want to be friends with someone like him? How could he have even managed to make a friend in the first place? I saw how he was in the interview; he was rude and ill tempered. Who would want to make friends with that?"

"Well you've managed it for all these years, Laufey. I won't tell you again. He isn't here so just leave, if you have such a low opinion of him then why do you even want contact?" Thor struggles to hide a smile at his mother's confrontation.

"Because it's all your fault he is the way he is an I want to change that." He replies, taking another sip and ignoring her insult. "So, I'll ask again. Where is he?"

"She isn't lying to you, Laufey. He hasn't been home since the interview; he isn't well but is set to return during the week. If you wish to meet him then you're going to have to do it on our terms." Odin explains, from working with Laufey he knows that he won't stop until he gets what he wants. That's what made him such a great partner, he was relentless and he always ended up securing the best deals for them. He doesn't want Laufey near Loki but if it has to happen then he's going to make sure that he has control of it.

"And what terms would those be?" This was the way in that Laufey was waiting for.

"You need to give us time to tell him that he's adopted; we've not wanted to tell him because he's had enough to deal with as it is. When you meet him it's going to be here where we're available if he needs anything and if you upset him. He isn't as sensitive as people think he is but he still has his moments as I'm sure you saw on the interview."

"That sounds reasonable. When will you tell him?"

"When the time is right."

"That's not good enough. I want you to tell him this week."

"Laufey we have to do this right."

"Either you tell him this week or I shall turn up and tell him myself." Laufey threatens; he doesn't want to waste any more time.

"We won't let you in." Thor growls, he regrets ever letting this man into the house.

Laufey laughs and keeps drinking, shaking his head at the threat. "I always get my way. One way or another Loki will find out that he's mine and I will be allowed to see him."

"We will try to tell him this week." Odin submits.

"What?! Father, no!" Thor cries. "You can't tell him if he isn't ready! This can destroy him!"

"Thor when is there ever a good time to tell someone they're adopted? You just need to do it. He'll hate you even more if you keep it from him longer." Laufey tells him finishing his tea.

"But why now? Why have you come now? Why couldn't you have just left him alone? You clearly haven't cared until now." Thor carries on his attack; he just doesn't understand what his intentions are, it is possible that it can be concerned about how his son was brought up but that doesn't seem likely. It's also strange to see Odin trying to protect Loki for a change, it causes Thor to start to doubt him and that he actually has Loki's best intentions in mind all the time.

"I have been living in Norway for the past eighteen years. I'm settled there and would like to stay there. I had no intention of leaving until I saw all the stories in the news; this is an international scandal. It didn't click at first, I recognised the name but I assumed it was someone else; but then I saw photos in the paper and on the news and then that's when I realised who it was. The interview was broadcast over there and after watching it I decided that it was time to come and see him. He's old enough to make the decision if he wants to stay in contact with me." He explains which is accepted by the rest of them. It justifies the accent and why it took so long for him to get in touch, but it still doesn't sit right with them. Particularly Thor.

"And if he doesn't want contact you'll simply leave him alone?"

"Yes."

That may be what he says but Thor doubts that's what he means; instead of arguing against it or saying more he just nods and lets his parents take over again.

"Leave your number with us and we'll contact you when we've told him." Odin says, indicating that it's time for Laufey to leave.

Getting the hint Laufey stands up and passes Odin one of his business cards. "Remember, this week. I'll see myself out." No one says anything when he walks out; the door slams shut and still no one makes an effort to speak. Frigga is anxious about how they're going to tell Loki, she knows that Odin isn't going to wait for the right time like he wants to – he's going to give in to him like he has done in the past. She tries not to cry and keep her thoughts on it to herself but both the men in the room can read her like a book.

"It'll be fine." Odin reassures her.

"How is it going to be fine, Odin? He's going to hate us; somehow he's managed to forgive us for leaving him with Howard Stark but he's not going to forgive us for this. If you hadn't have forced him to do the interview then this wouldn't be happening!"

"Frigga he's stronger and smarter than we think; he's probably already figured it out."

"You didn't see him when Fandral told him that he wasn't part of this family. He was so upset and distressed; he just wanted to go back into the room. That's what he's going to be like this time only worse! We can't do this to him!" Tears start to run down her face as she remembers that day.

"It's better for it to come from us than to come from Laufey."

"It's better for him not to know at all."

"Frigga he has to know, now Laufey's in town he's going to find out. We're not going to be able to hide this from him anymore, even though we want to it's not possible now. We'll use the time we have left with Loki staying with Tony to decide what we're going to say."

His wife sniffles and sighs; if they're going to have to do it she wants to be prepared rather than awkwardly fumbling about for an explanation. "We're going to have to tell Dr Banner too; he'll be able to guide us as to how to do it. Maybe he should be here too?"

"We'll consult him and see what he says. I have some calls to make." Odin agrees leaving the room.

Thor watches his mother regain composure and allows her to hold his hands. He holds her close to him to reassure her that everything will be okay; although they both know that he can't promise that. She pulls away and stands up, trying to think of jobs to do so she can busy herself from her thoughts. Frigga turns about to exit the room like Odin did but Thor calls her back.

"Yes, dear?"

"What other secrets are you keeping from us?" He asks quietly; hurt that there are even more things about this situation that neither he nor Loki know. Thor isn't asking to be spiteful or to judge his parents; he just doesn't want more nasty surprises. Frigga wants to say there are no more but even she isn't sure about what's been kept from them; she's so used to hearing Odin's lies that she's started to believe them herself. Instead she just offers a small, sad smile and goes back to do her cleaning.


	26. Chapter Twenty-Five

**A/N:** I'm so sorry for the delay of the update! I had so much on and I didn't have time to edit it and I still haven't edited it properly but I didn't want to leave it any later than I already had! Hopefully there won't be any more delays, if there are I will post them on my Tumblr (thefrostedrose) to let you know :D So enjoy this chapter! It's not all negative! However you _may_ want to prepare yourselves for the next chapter…

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

Yesterday Loki realised that he should at least text his mother to make sure that she was okay and to let her know that he was doing okay too. It was during a conversation with Tony that did it; he forgot how worried she can be and that staying away from the house probably wasn't helping that. Speaking to Frigga reminded him that he's going to have to go home this week; when it started he didn't think that he would be sad to leave but now he is. Since their conversation and their kiss they have officially spoken about it and agreed to try dating; Loki wants the experience and Tony is just as naïve when it comes to relationships so it's something they can do together. It puts Loki at ease and he's comfortable that Tony wouldn't have any expectations of him.

Whilst Loki was texting his mother Tony was texting Rhodey telling him what was happening; Pepper must have taken Rhodey's phone away from him because Tony started being lectured on what he should and shouldn't be doing with Loki. He thought she would have learnt by now to not say things like that to him as he'll only want to do it more, regardless of if she's right or wrong. Once the texting stop and they had each other's undivided attention they decided to eat and watch a film. It was the first time that Loki was out of the bedroom and in a new room of the house, Tony really wanted to show him the house in its entirety but he knows that he's not really strong enough for that yet. Tony's friends are the only ones that know about the next stage that Loki and Tony have decided to embark on; Tony has no one else to tell and Loki doesn't know how his family will react. They weren't overly happy when Tony was just his friend but now he's more than that.

Tony tells him that he has nothing to worry about as his mother loves him and he can get the other two on his side. Loki admires his drive and confidence but he doubts his ability and has told him this too. At first Tony took it as a joke; that Loki was just undermining him but then he noticed the serious tone in his voice and the slightly scared look on his face. He realised that this is something he's going to have to wait for Loki to do and he's fine with that; he doesn't want to do anything to jeopardise it. For once he's going to try and do things right; just to be his friend he's tried to change some things, mainly his drinking and general looking after himself.

This morning they are both lying in bed; Tony still wanted to stay close in case Loki took a turn during the night and Loki felt guilty about him sleeping in a chair. Tony felt worried about doing it at first but as soon as he got comfortable in bed the anxiety left him. He thought it was stupid that he was feeling anxious about sharing a bed with Loki; at first he tried to tell himself it was because he was worried how Loki would react but it was because it was the first time he's shared a bed with someone without having sex with them beforehand. Tony has slept with many people but he's never just slept beside them before, to do something completely innocent. Loki's never shared his bed with anyone before but the bed was so big that it wasn't anything different.

Tony wakes up first; usually he doesn't cuddle the person in bed with him so he can slip out easier without disturbing anyone. Today, however, he finds his arms wrapped round Loki's hip and his face pressed into his back. He wants to pull away before Loki wakes up so he doesn't frighten him but he's too comfortable to want to move. Loki is perfectly still against him, his back moving only slightly on each breath; Tony's never felt so relaxed without having an orgasm beforehand. Absentmindedly his thumb strokes the front of the waistband of Loki's pyjama bottoms; Loki's breathing changes as he slowly wakes up. He's disorientated at first; panicking at the closeness of another person but he gently reminds himself of who it is that has his arms around him and he starts to calm down again. Despite it feeling strange it also causes a warm feeling to spread through his body: he feels wanted. He doesn't say anything or even opens his eyes, he doesn't want this moment ruined or to be over.

His thoughts drift back to the last time that he was in the house. When his world was completely changed; all the years he spent there he never dreamed that the one person that he would need or want was right under the same roof the whole time. To just be held and desired like this was one of the things he longed for in the room in the later years; coming out of the room he didn't think it would be this quick or this easy but Tony surprised him. In the room he never really imagined what his partner looked like; it would all depend on the book he was reading at the time and what character appealed the most - sometimes it was a man and sometimes it was a woman, it was always changing. But he always knew that he wanted someone to be close to.

"Mornin'" Tony mumbles into his back, tightening his hold a little as he stretches and pressing his face further into his back.

"Good morning." Loki replies, his voice still laced with sleep; stretching out against Tony.

"How you feeling?" He asks, not moving from his position, determined to stay there for as long as possible.

"Better... I should probably go back... But I don't want to. I like it here with you..." Loki sighs, trying to wake himself up. He thought he would rejoice when he was better again but now he doesn't want to go home. Where he's been away Thor as Frigga will be on his back more than usual; he'll be bombarded with questions about the interview and about what it was like at Tony's house.

"Well Dr Banner wants to check you before you leave, he might say you need to stay another week."

"I doubt that." Loki shifts and curls up more, Tony just adjusts so he can stay in his position, moving his legs a little to stay closer.

"I know you don't want to but, you're going to have to go back at some point..."

"Do you want me to go?"

"No! No, of course not. I wish you could stay here, I wouldn't want to deny you the chance to be in the company as someone as awesome as me." Tony smirks, pulling Loki as close as possible to him trying to emphasise his point.

"Tony be serious, do you want me to stay or are you just humouring me? Because if you want me gone I'll leave now." He huffs, trying to prise himself out of Tony's grip and get out of the bed.

"Loki stop." Tony says, his arms coming round his torso bringing him back into the bed. "I'm not humouring you. I genuinely want you to stay here with me; I have this big mansion to myself and it can get quite lonely. I only really have Dummy for company-"

"Dummy?"

"I'll introduce you; but the point is I've loved having you here. Okay, yeah, it didn't go great to begin with but I'm used to having you around now. I don't want you to go but at the same time I don't want Thor coming over, breaking down the door and taking you away."

"I'm surprised at how restrained he's been and hasn't done it already…" Loki admits.

"To be honest so am I."

"When do you want to call Bruce?"

"Bruce…? Oh, Banner? I don't know, whenever you decide you want to go. I'm sure he'll come whenever you want him to, he seems like he'll drop anything for you." Tony points out; the only person he had like that was Jarvis so he understands how important it is to have someone like that in your life. But now maybe he'll have Loki too, he'll be there for Loki whenever he needs him – he was like that when they were just friends and it's not going to change now they're together.

"Yes he would… He's good like that. It still doesn't make going back any easier. I'll just go back and they'll interrogate me and I'm not up for that Tony… And I'll be leaving you on your own and I know what that's like and it's not always great and there were times when it just destroyed me… I can't put you through that Tony I…" His breathing becomes erratic and even though Tony doesn't have a good view of his face he can tell he's crying.

"Hey… Hey…" Tony soothes, he sits up against the pillows and tries to pull Loki so he's curled against him with his head on his stomach. Now Loki's arms are firmly around Tony's waist and Tony's hand is stroking his hair and face to calm him. Loki always tries to be strong about his situation and puts a face on it but sometimes he just can't; sometimes things come back to him that cause him to break down. He's spoken to Bruce about them but he just assures him that it's something he needs to deal with in time. "Loki I've been living on my own for a while, I'm used to it and I enjoy it. I'm a big boy and I can handle it. You know what Rhodey and Pepper are like they just like to drop in whenever they want so it's like I'm not alone. And hey, you can come and visit whenever you can escape Thor's clutches."

"Are you sure?" He asks quietly, looking up at him.

"Of course, like I said, I'm a big boy." Tony smirks, proud of himself. "I can prove it to you if you like?" Hoping that his attempt to lighten the mood wouldn't backfire like it has before. Fortunately it works and Loki grins at him.

"Thank you but I think I believe you."

"You only think? I can make it more certain, your leaving present if you like."

This time the comment earns him a laugh, "I'm already certain, Tony."

"Certain of what?"

"That you can cope on your own."

"Because…"

"No."

"No, what?" He asks feigning innocence, but failing as he starts smiling.

"I'm not saying it."

"Aw go on, you owe me something for looking after you so well." Tony keeps nudging him until he says it. Loki keeps protesting and trying to stop Tony from poking him further but it doesn't quite work.

He sighs, he folds his arms over Tony's stomach and leans on them so he's looking directly at Tony. "You are able to cope on your own because you're a big boy. Are you happy now? And I really hope Jarvis never said anything like that to you otherwise that's just wrong, Tony. Or is it because you've always wanted your dad to say it to you?"

Tony's face falls at the statement; he knows Loki's only joking and he hasn't taken offence to it but he doesn't remember if he ever said anything positive to him. Loki starts to apologise thinking he's done something wrong but Tony reassures him that it's not his fault and that he isn't upset with him. "Did he ever say anything good to you? Anything nice and encouraging? You're right he didn't ever say anything like that to me… I hate him, not just for that but for everything else too, but it would be nice to know that he actually had it in him… Y'know, to do something like that?"

His question takes Loki by surprise, he's never really been asked something like that before. He's usually asked about all the negative things of his experience, even though to him it wasn't solely negative. "Um... Well... I don't really remember speaking to me much. We didn't often have conversations, there were times when he'd give me instructions or tell me no to do something but... I can remember him saying some positive things to me; more when I was younger than when I was older but it still happened..." Suddenly Loki feels guilty, he got more attention, even positive attention than his own son. Tony likes to pretend that he doesn't care but deep down he does; he craves the encouragement and discipline from his father.

Tony nods listening, "what kind of thing did he say to you?"

"Positive?" He nods again, "well... Whenever I progressed in his eyes or did something he wanted me to do, he would just say that I was a good boy or that he was proud of me. Just something simple, he wouldn't really say much regardless of whether he was being positive or not." He shrugs, they rarely had conversations and it could be many months between communication. Although he assumes that he was like that with Tony too; at least he had Jarvis there to do the job that his father was supposed to do.

"Huh, we'll I guess he wasn't completely evil... Still a complete bastard though." Tony thinks aloud, his fingers still raking through Loki's hair. Loki makes a sound in agreement; yes what his father did was wrong and it has left him more or less broken but he also could have made it a lot harder for him than he actually did. Howard may have scared him on occasion and left him lonely but he didn't physically abuse him, he gave him enough food and things to stimulate him. The room itself was a nice bedroom rather than the cell he's stuck in now but no one chooses to acknowledge these facts; especially the media.

"What are you thinking Loks?"

"It could have been a lot worse... He didn't directly try to hurt me and from my understanding he wasn't going to keep me locked up forever..."

"He still shouldn't have done it."

"I'm not saying he should have, I'm just saying that other people might not have given me the luxuries he did."

"That's because other people wouldn't have done it."

Loki exhales, shaking his head. "You're missing the point. I'm just saying that whilst what Howard did was unethical and cruel in some ways, I was still given a better childhood than what most people get. I had shelter, a nice bed, good food, a variety of toys-"

"Please tell me it wasn't how I'm imagining it." Tony starts laughing.

"Tony stop." Loki warns, lightly hitting his stomach. "And it wasn't _those _types of toys. But you say you didn't want your dad to have been his hideous monster and I'm telling you he wasn't, not completely. He still gave me brief conversation on occasion and a variety of films and books and tv programmes to watch; different foods and lots of it. There's even this faux windows to remind me that there is a world outside and from the most part he protected me from it. It doesn't excuse what he did to me or to you but… I don't know… I just thought you needed to hear it."

Tony goes silent, his hand pauses in Loki's hair but still wrapped up in it. He's often wanted to ask Loki what it was like growing up in the room but he never imagined asking him about all the positives about it. If that's all you know then he assumes that you wouldn't view it in a negative way; as he said in the interview it was normal to him. As soon as he heard about what his father had done he couldn't comprehend it; he was repulsed by the idea, just as everyone else was, but listening to Loki talk about it so fondly makes him wonder whether he has got his father all wrong and that unsettles him. The silence continues and Loki tenses, regretting his words, he should have realised how sensitive this subject still was for Tony. Tony's fingers start moving through his hair again; feeling the boy's body tense brought him back into the real world.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, no it's fine. I asked. I like hearing you talk about it, it's interesting."

"You're right; I am much more interesting than you." Loki teases, wanting his happy Tony back. If today is going to be his last full day with him then he wants to enjoy it. He doesn't want it to be sad and full of thoughts of their mismatched childhoods, both focused on one man who has shaped them both in different ways through different methods.

"Oh is that true?" He asks, arching an eyebrow at the comment.

"Yep." Loki smiles and presses a chaste kiss to Tony's lips. Tony smiles back; he wasn't expecting Loki to be this affectionate this early on. Then again he did make the first move back at the zoo. Tony kisses him back and pulls Loki up so he can reach him better. Loki eagerly reciprocates, sliding his hands down Tony's sides and resting on his hips. The genius knows that he shouldn't push Loki but every other instinct in his body wants more; without thinking about it he deepens the kiss, gently pressing down on Loki's bottom lip for access. Loki doesn't hesitate in allowing it to happen; he wants to let Tony educate him, he _wants_ to be the best he can possibly be for Tony. It isn't the first time that he's kissed Tony like this, but he still feels that he's sloppy in his actions; Tony doesn't mind, it's usual for him to just take control and he's pleased that Loki just allows it.

Tony pulls away from his mouth; he has every intention to stop before he goes too far but his lips find Loki's sharp, defined, jaw. They work their way round to his neck and Tony is only encouraged by the sweet sounds coming from the innocent, inexperienced boy pressed against him. He kisses, bites and sucks doing everything he can to bring more of those noises from his lips. Loki has brought his hands to Tony's short, ruffled, hair pushing him further into his neck enjoying the attention being given to him. Tony's hips slowly start to grind against Loki's, the extra closeness starts to make Loki feel uncomfortable; it's not as though he never wants it to happen but they've only just got involved with each other and he doesn't know what comes next. Neither of them do. He tries to make noises of protest which get lost amongst the moans coming from the assault on his neck and collarbone; Tony mistakes it for Loki wanting more, not wanting to make him feel embarrassed for needing it he traces a hand down Loki's lean torso and gently cups him through the pyjama bottoms. Even though his body responds to it in the way that Tony wanted, Loki starts to panic at how forward Tony is being.

Loki desperately tries to untangle himself from Tony and push the excited boy away from him. His actions are so sudden that it brings Tony into reality; he looks at Loki to figure out what's wrong and he just sees fear instead of the playfulness of only a few moments ago. It hits him hard when he realises what he did that frightened Loki so much.

"Shit Loki… I'm so sorry, I didn't mean… I shouldn't have… I thought you… Oh shit, Loki. I'm so sorry." The words stumble on their way out as he tries to decide what's the best thing to say. Usually Tony always knows what to say, whether it's appropriate or not but there aren't many times when he's completely stuck.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Loki cries in shock; he didn't think things would escalate this quickly. Is this all Tony wants him for? He just wants to take advantage whenever he can?

"I'm sorry I just-"

"Just what? Just wanted to get a feel?! Wanted to see if I'll just lie there and take whatever you want to give me?! Has it always been a fantasy of yours to take someone like me? Naïve? Inexperienced? A virgin?"

"No! No, Loki it's not that like! I promise! I just forgot, I lost myself. I know it doesn't excuse it but I'm so attracted to you and I thought you wanted more! I was wrong! Just don't hate me for this, I won't do it again, I promise." Tony explains quickly; trying to get Loki to listen and to see that it was all a mistake. He doesn't want to take advantage of him like that; he wouldn't touch him at all if that's what he wants for the start. He's a genius, he knows that he needs to take it slow and to wait but his body and his lust just got the better of him.

"I'm not like one of these whores you're used to, Tony! And if that's what you want then you're going to have to go and find someone else!" He wants to storm out of the bed but he's worried that Tony would see his half hard arousal from the actions before he went too far.

"I don't want them Loki, I want you and I promise I will never make you feel uncomfortable again. I honestly didn't mean to do it; I don't want to wreck this."

Loki stares at Tony, trying to decide what to do, fighting every urge to just run away from him. "Okay…" He submits, easing himself back down against the pillows but still staying away from Tony. It hurts Tony that he feels he has to sit away from him but he understands why he feels like that and he's not going to be stupid and push him again.

"Um… I can go and make us some breakfast if you want? Or lunch, I don't know what the time is?" Tony suggests.

"Okay… Food sounds good…" Loki nods.

"Want it up here?" Loki nods again and Tony gets out of bed. "I'll be right back, why don't you text Bruce or something?" Loki mutters something that Tony doesn't quite catch and he reaches for his phone. Leaving Loki to do whatever he wants to do, Tony goes downstairs to cook breakfast and try to salvage the rest of the day. This probably isn't going to be the first time that Tony does something wrong in the relationship but he hates how early on he's messed up. It's got to be a new record for him.

He just comes down the stairs when there's a knocking at the door; he makes a face, he must have forgotten to shut the gates when Rhodey and Pepper came. Hesitantly he opens the door; his stomach drops when he sees Odin standing there, glaring at him with his one good eye. Before Tony gets a chance to greet him, let alone ask what he wants, Odin pushes his way into the mansion without Tony's permission. This makes him anxious and angry, the only people he let's get away with that (although he often wonders why) is Rhodey and Pepper.

"What do you wa-?"

"Where is he?! You've kept him here long enough." Odin growls at him. He didn't realise how much they wanted him back, when Loki was texting his mother she seemed happy for him to come home when he felt ready.

"He's still in bed; he was going to come home today, we were just waiting for the okay from-"

"Well he's coming home now." Odin starts walking up the stairs, determined to find Loki and bring him home. After Laufey's visit they spoke about the ways of telling Loki about his true parentage, none of them sounded very appealing but it has to be done. Against Frigga's wishes he wants to do it today if possible; there's no reason to keep this from him any longer than they already have. If it was completely up to him he wouldn't tell him at all but Laufey isn't going to allow that and he knows it. He comes to an open door and walks in assuming it's the one that Loki is being kept in; Tony is frantically following him trying to stop him from bursting in and making a scene, although all his attempts fail.

Odin and Loki freeze when he steps into the room; both sides of the bed are messy and he assumes that Tony has been sleeping in it too. He also notices how Loki is shirtless, with bruises gradually forming on the side of his neck and the left side of his collarbone. Now Odin understands why Loki hasn't want to come back and it makes him angrier than he thought he could be about the situation. It unsettles him that his son has been intimate with Tony but that's not what's bothering him the most; it's the fact that he was lied to. He's clearly well enough for him to come home and he would have been when Frigga texted him yesterday. It doesn't sit well with him that Loki, and Tony, have tried to make a fool out of him. Loki regrets sending that text yesterday; if he hadn't then Odin wouldn't be here to drag him away, although maybe it's the excuse he needs to get away from Tony for a couple of days.

"Get up and get dressed." Loki is still frozen, wanting to open his mouth to say something. "Now!" Jumping at the explanation he grabs his clothes from the other side of the room; hastily putting them on, too scared to disobey Odin. Tony just watches from the doorway, sad that their time together has come to an end. Once dressed he turns to Odin not sure what to do next, is he going to be lectured here or is that just going to wait until they're at home?

"Come, we're leaving. Your mother and I need to talk to you." His voice doesn't sound angry, it just sounds serious. A sick feeling pools in his stomach, this is what he's wanted to avoid: the talk about the interview and what happened at here afterwards. He doesn't speak, he only responds by walking out the room and following Odin to the car. Odin doesn't even let Loki say goodbye to Tony; he just pushes him into the car. Tony knew better than to get involved, he just watched everything happen but now he stands in the doorway watching the car leave and he wishes he said something. Wishes that he fought to keep Loki here, although it probably wouldn't have done a lot of good.

Slowly he walks back upstairs to the room he's barely left for the past week; he gets into bed on Loki's side and hugs a pillow to him. He's disappointed that Loki's gone now, left without a word but he doesn't blame him either. Odin is frightening and he didn't exactly give Loki a good reason for wanting to stay. Eventually he'll clean up and maybe text Pepper if he's feeling brave enough. But for now he's going to stay in bed and go over the past week events in his head so he doesn't feel quite as alone. His eyes are barely closed five minutes when his phone vibrates on the bedside table; he assumes Pepper has a radar and knows that he's alone now. After grumbling about her timing he reaches over and reads the text; he smiles when he sees the name and laughs aloud when he reads it.

_**Thank you for letting me stay. I'm sorry for this morning and, I hate to leave you all alone but you are a big boy now. – Loki**_

Well. At least it wasn't a total disaster.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Six

**A/N:** Hey! Thank you so much for all your support! :D Um… I can only apologise for this chapter. It had been coming for a while though…

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Nothing was said on the car ride home; neither of them bothered to start a conversation, Loki just wanting to put it off for as long as he could. They walk inside the house; Odin tries to guide him to the dining room but he insists on having a shower first. He hasn't had once since Tony helped him and he's starting to become aware of the dirt again; he also needs to tell Bruce that he's back home now and not to worry. Odin isn't happy about the delay but he doesn't stop Loki from going upstairs. Loki enters his room; he doesn't understand why but he was expecting something to have changed, but it hasn't and everything is in the right place. It's nice returning back to it, his own space where he can just relax in his own company. He sits on his bed for a few moments before collecting his thoughts and going to the bathroom. The sound of the water running is relaxing to him and drowns out the soft murmurs which he guesses are about him that are coming from downstairs. Standing under the steady stream Loki loses track of time, he doesn't want to leave the shower: it's too comforting and warm.

Finally Loki tears himself from the bathroom; dries off and pulls some fresh clothes on. Giving himself a few more moments to prepare for what's going to come next. The murmuring doesn't stop and he strains his ears trying to listen as to what they're talking about apart from the obvious; but he can't make anything out. Deciding it's time he stands up and cautiously walks down the stairs and into the dining room where they're all waiting. As soon as he opens the door they all grown silent and stare at him. His eyes instantly meet Frigga's and he can see that they're red from where she's been crying; Thor is holding her hand protectively trying to calm her down whereas Odin has his folded on the table. Loki sits down next to Thor and opposite their parents, they exchange glances like they did when they first met him and tried to figure out how to start. Are they sending him away again for all the trouble he's caused them?

"There's something that your… That Frigga and I have to tell you." Odin starts carefully. Thor let's go of Frigga's hand and Odin grasps it; Thor strokes Loki's wrist and holds it gently just wanting to let him know that he's there for him. He knows that Thor is only doing it to be kind and to reassure him but the action makes him even more uncomfortable and unnerved.

"What is it? What have I done wrong? Whatever it is I need to know. I-" Loki chokes out, his voice soft but trembling like the rest of his body is.

"No, no, sweetheart it isn't something you've done. You've done nothing wrong, Loki. It's… It's something that we shouldn't have… It's… It's all our fault, not yours." Frigga tells him, her voice breaking as it does. She begged Odin not to go and pick Loki up; she wanted him to be happy for just a little longer. But he wasn't having any of it; he was adamant that it was the best thing to do, to bring him back and tell him. All morning she's been a wreck, she stalled Odin as much as she could but in the end it just didn't work out and now they're sitting here discussing what she's dreaded the most.

"I… I don't understand?" What else could they have done wrong? Nothing's adding up and just holding it from him for longer is just making it worse.

"We haven't been entirely honest with you." Odin explains and Thor's grip on Loki's wrist tightened and his thumb strokes the bottom of his hand. They've been trying to come up with the best way to tell him, Frigga wanting to take the soft approach but Odin has other ideas. "We're not your real family."

Loki tenses and a mixture of emotions storm his body. "What?" The word comes out as a growl as he tries to keep himself stable, trying to keep himself from lashing out.

"No, that's not right." Frigga says, attempting to amend the situation. "We are your family, we want to look after you and we want you to be able to come to us with anything… We're just not related through blood…"

"You clearly didn't want to look after me though. You gave me up. You had me locked up in that basement to be tested on like some animal! Now I understand why, I wasn't yours so you had no responsibility. Is that it? You would never have dreamed of putting Thor through what I did." He's doing everything he can to keep his composure but he can feel it slipping through his fingers.

"Loki no, that's not why we did it. We took you in and then things started to go wrong and we couldn't support having an extra mouth." Even though they promised to stop lying to him she can't tell him the truth about the adoption – that his father wanted to leave him for dead and that Odin didn't want another child to look after. He just wanted Thor and to lavish all of his attention on him.

"Then why the experiment? Why did you give me to him?"

"Because we knew exactly who you were going to be with and he assured us that you would be well looked after. If we put you up for adoption we didn't know where you could end up and who with."

"So why did you even bother adopting me in the first place?! How did I even end up in your care? Did you know my parents? Did you betray them?!" He knows he's lost the fight against his own temper but he's beyond caring now; they clearly didn't care enough about him so why should he worry about upsetting them?

"It was complicated Loki, we didn't betray them we-"

"So they didn't want me either?! They didn't want me so passed me off to you?! Then you didn't want the problems that I would bring so then you dumped me on a psychologist?! Is that right?! And then he actually looks after me and takes on the child that nobody wanted; he gave me a purpose and I'm not given a chance to serve that purpose out because you suddenly have a crisis of conscience and have me found! Or did that ruin your plan?! Did you not want me found?!" He barks a harsh laugh. "Oh it all makes sense now. This is why you're all overcompensating, isn't it? Apart from Odin; he's the only one who's not hidden his true feelings from me! At least I know he doesn't want me here!"

"We do want you here Loki, as far as we're concerned you are our family." Thor tells him, honestly, smiling at him to calm him down.

"You _knew_? All this time you've been _lying_ to me. Calling me _brother_. And you _knew._ HOW DARE YOU?!"

"Loki I wasn't told until a couple of days ago! I thought you were my brother! I had no reason to doubt that you weren't!" Thor protests, because it's true he was told Loki was his brother and he accepted that.

"How could you not have known?! I'm the one that was supposed to be slow! I'm the one who's supposed to be oblivious and the one who doesn't understand! Even your _moron_ friend pointed it out to you and you were still blind to it!" Or maybe Thor did know; he spoke to his friends about it and that's why Fandral mentioned it. He wanted to embarrass him and belittle him; or maybe warn him to what he was going to eventually find out.

"Because I want you to be my brother, Loki. Growing up I always wanted a younger brother to help guide and to play with and to take on adventures and-"

"To be as suffocating as you are now?! You don't even have a right to anymore! You're not my brother! I am not your responsibility!" He doesn't know if Thor is telling the truth or not but he assumes that he isn't; he's been betrayed by all of them. "Why did you even bring me back here if you don't want me?! Why couldn't you have just left me with Tony?! Pass on the responsibility again! You just couldn't let me be happy! You _don't want me to be happy_!" Although he's trying to be strong and show his anger tears start streaming down his face. This isn't what he wanted; he didn't want to show emotions in front of them. He's barely aware of the arm coming round him, pulling him to someone's chest – it takes him a moment to realise it's Thor and when he does he rips himself from him and jumps up from the table needing some space.

"Darling we do want you to be happy-" Frigga tries to explain but she's cut off by more shouting from Loki.

"You don't! If you did then you would have just left me at the house! You would have let Howard take care of me and-"

"Loki he didn't take care of you! Not properly! People aren't supposed to go through that! Surely you see that? Surely you understand? What he did was unforgiveable-" Thor interrupts, unable to listen to him to defend Howard Stark anymore. Even during the interview it hurt listening to how he sees it as normal; even though he's now in the normal world he doesn't see that what happened was a bad thing. But what hurts the most is the fact that he wants to stay in the room rather than be with them. They may not be his real family in the biological sense but they are the ones that want to look after him and be there for him.

"AT LEAST HE WANTED ME! He kept me there! He gave me all the basics that my family are supposed to provide! You might not believe it but he did give me normal! You just don't understand! I'm not letting you take this away from me!" Loki's voice isn't the roar that he wants against his brother but broken cries that make him sound pathetic to his ears.

"He wanted you for selfish reasons. For reasons that are completely harmful and pointless. Can't you see that it's us that are the ones that want you?"

"But he still wanted me! I don't care if you think those reasons are pointless he protected me! You can't take this from me! Don't you dare belittle my purpose!" Not only has he been taken from a place where he was happy today; he came home to find out that he doesn't even know his own family and now the one reason he was wanted is slowly slipping away. Maybe he was always destined to be worthless.

"Loki _we_ do want you. Darling, I never wanted to give you up. There wasn't a day where I didn't think of you. I may not have given birth to you but I still see myself as your mother." Frigga sniffles, trying to calm her own emotions so she can help deal with Loki's. She has only seen him like this a couple of times and it doesn't get any easier and it never will get any easier.

"But you're not my mother! How do you even deserve that title?! You weren't the one that brought me up! You haven't taught me anything! Isn't a mother supposed to guide you through life? Pick you up when you fall down? Help you learn from your mistakes? Well you did NONE of that! I did that all myself, no thanks to you!" He doesn't know if he even means that or not; he knows now that she's not his mother but even if she was biologically did she even deserve that title? This is all too much for him – too many lies and no one to trust.

"And don't you think that it doesn't kill me every day? To think of you alone in that room and knowing that I couldn't get to you; I couldn't hold you; couldn't comfort you; I couldn't even talk to you. Do you know how much that hurt-?" The tears she thought she stopped come back more than ever; she knew he'd take it badly but she wasn't expecting him to reject her.

"_Don't! JUST DON'T!_ You're not the victim in this! You have no right to do this to me! Do you know how much it hurts me to find out that no one could care less about me?! You claim you want me but you still stood back and allow me to be taken from you! You couldn't have cared that much if you allowed it to happen!" He sneers; his voice screaming in parts. Loki's hands run through his hair and he tugs on it to try and stop himself from hurting; to stop himself from completely falling to pieces but he knows it's only a matter of time.

The emotion in the room is suffocating and Loki can barely breathe. Neither Thor nor Frigga knows what to do with Loki; everything they're doing isn't going the way they want it to. All they can do is watch as he's world slowly shatters around him and try to put him back together. They're both standing as though they're ready to catch him when he falls; they're there for when he decides that he needs to be in their arms and needs comfort. Odin is still sitting in his seat watching everything take place; there's no point in trying to calm him down, he needs to get it all out of his system. It'll be unhealthy to harbour it. But there's still one thing that he needs to tell him.

"You're biological father wants to meet you, some time this week." Odin adds, there was no reason to wait for him to digest all the information and then break him again. He needs to know it all now and recover from it together, no more nasty surprises.

"What?" His voice is barely heard as he stares in despair at Odin. They've been in contact with him? He knows what he's been through? Why can't things just stay the same long enough for him to adjust before it's all taken from him. He hears Odin trying to explain what happened whilst he was at Tony's but he can't take any of it in; he doesn't process what's being said. "Is this because I ran out? Embarrassed you on television? You're going to send me back to him to punish me?" Sobs are tearing from his throat as he tries to make sense of the situation.

"You're not going anywhere Loki." Thor attempts to soothe, reaching out to his brother to hold him again. He expects him to pull away; he doesn't expect Loki to completely lash out at him. Although Loki isn't as physically strong as Thor he still gives it all he can. Relentlessly hitting his chest unable to believe him; they'd say anything to him to get him to do what they want. Thor stands there and allows Loki this outlet for his anger; when it seems like he is slowly down he goes to put his arms around him to comfort him. The blonde realises it's the wrong thing to do when Loki pushes Thor away with so much force he falls to the floor, taking a frame off the wall with him.

A flash of concern burns through Loki when he sees his giant of a brother on the floor by his hand. He walks over wanting to help him up but he's so conflicted with his feelings for him he just towers over him. His eyes scan what he's done and they rest on the photo frame. It's a family party, there are many people that he doesn't recognise with Odin, Frigga and Thor in the centre. They all look so happy and... The same. He's never really taken much notice of the photos - he'll glance at them and realise he's not in then but that's it. Now he stares at them and wonders how he ever thought that he was part of this family. They all look golden, strong and nothing like Loki. If his heart wasn't totally broken before now it's shattered into so many pieces it's near impossible to heal. His cries change to growls as he becomes increasingly aggressive. Items are thrown and smashed to the floor, Loki has the need to break them like they did him. Frigga is shouting and begging him to calm down whilst Odin makes a quick exit from the room - he should have listened to his wife and had Dr Banner here from the start.

It doesn't take long for Bruce to arrive, he was on his way to Tony's when he got the call and raced round to the Odinson's as soon as he was told of the situation. Odin is waiting by the door and as soon as Bruce knocks the door is swung open and Odin quickly ushers him inside. The doctor doesn't want to waste time talking to Odin, especially when he can hear Loki's distress coming from the other room. Loki doesn't notice Bruce come into the room; Bruce motions for Frigga and Thor to leave the room so he can talk to Loki alone. When Loki is aware that they have left the room he drops to his knees amongst the chaos that he's created. Bruce sits cross legged on the floor close by but still giving Loki his space. Feeling someone approach him Loki's head snaps round and he sees Bruce sitting down.

"Have you come to take me away?" His voice is hoarse from crying and hushed through fear. Green eyes now a washed out red pleads with Bruce. But it's no use now, he's given them yet more reasons to give him up.

"No, Loki, I haven't. Unless there's somewhere you'd like to go?" The doctors voice as calm as always, Loki doesn't know how he does it but just being in his presence is enough to soothe him - even if it's only slight.

"You're not taking me away?"

"Why would I be?" Bruce is genuinely confused by the question; he didn't get much from Odin on the phone – just that Loki was in a bad way and needed his help. From the whole time that Bruce has been looking after Loki he hasn't seen him so bad that he's lashed out at anyone before. There was the one incident with the nurse but he didn't mean what he did; this all seems intentional.

"Because I'm not theirs! They don't want me… My father's coming to take me away!" Panic surges through him at the thought; his hands start to shake and he pulls his knees to his chest. A position that the doctor is used to seeing his patient in.

"What do you mean, Loki? Who's taking you away?"

"They're not my family. My father didn't want me and passed me onto them and they didn't want me so gave me to Howard. No one wants me, Bruce. Why doesn't anybody want me?" He's cried so much no more tears come but he can feel more sobs rising to his throat.

Bruce cautiously shuffles over to the boy, but careful so he's not sitting on top of him. "I'm sure they do want you Loki; they were thrilled when we got in contact with them letting them know that you're safe."

Loki shakes his head, "no they don't. Why would they talk to my father if they still wanted me? They don't want me Bruce." He keeps repeating.

"It's your father that might want to see you again. It is natural when someone is around eighteen that their biological family come to find them – that way the person that's been adopted can decide for themselves whether they want to have contact with them or not." Bruce clarifies for him, trying to make the situation seem better.

"So they're not giving me away again? But they don't want me?"

"Your mother-"

"She's not-"

"Frigga's the only mother you'll have Loki, love and cherish her. You're lucky that you have someone to be your mother." Bruce misses his mother terribly; she died when he was young and he was left with an abusive father for a while before he was taken from him. With all of his patients he tries to encourage them to have a good relationship with their parents because it's something he never had and wishes that he did. "Because she does want to be your mother. She loves you dearly, she always has and please don't doubt that. Your brother loves you too; I know you moan about how protective he is over you but that shows that he cares. That can't be a bad thing can it?"

"Odin doesn't want me."

"To me Odin appears to be a man that won't ever tell you what he's feeling; but I'm sure that he appreciates and cares about you just as much as the other two."

"No he doesn't. And neither does my real father."

"You don't have to see him if you don't want to. There are some people that just want to stay with their adoptive parents and not want to contact their biological ones." Loki has visibly stopped shaking at the thought of having a choice in the matter; that this isn't being forced upon him and he can make his own decisions. He's also coming round to the idea that Bruce is right, now he's calmer his mind is clearer and he remembers the faces of his family when they had to tell him. None of them looked as though they wanted to tell him this or that they wanted it to be the truth at all.

"And I get to stay here…?" He asks hopeful.

Bruce nods, "of course you do. Every day you were at Tony's they were asking after you, making sure you were okay. They really missed you."

"Yeah… Fr… Mother? Told me."

"That's right, you texted her."

"Do you always talk about me?" He's not accusing Bruce of anything and not annoyed at him; he's just curious. The doctor always seems to be there when he needs him most; if he hadn't have turned up today then Loki doesn't know what he would of done. He dreads to think how far he would have gone; a part of him believes that he would have turned violent to Frigga and he wouldn't have been able to forgive himself for that. It hurts that he was violent to Thor; that he managed to get him on the floor.

"What else would we talk about? They call me if they need help with you or need some advice or are worried. The same way we talk about the same things on the phone or when I come over to see you. I was on my way round to Tony's when you called me." Although he was getting updates from Tony about the situation he was still worried that he wasn't hearing from Loki directly. When he received a text from Loki saying that he thought he was feeling better he said that he would pop round to check for himself. "What was it like staying with him? I wasn't sure whether you should stay at first but I thought it was important for you to rebuild your friendship."

"It was… Interesting…" The thought of the week he's had with Tony puts a small smile on his face; it doesn't feel like it was only this morning that he woke up in his arms. Or when he accidentally groped him.

"Interesting? Are you both friends again? Tony said you were but he is a bit full of himself." Bruce chuckles and Loki's smile grows at the comment.

"Yes he is. And we are friends…" Loki tries to suppress his blush but the amused look on Bruce's face suggests that he hasn't quite managed it.

"Is there… Anything else you want to tell me?"

"We're… A little more than friends…"

Bruce wasn't expecting that; he didn't think Loki would be ready for something like that for a while. "Oh… And how do you feel about that?"

"Happy… I feel like he wants me. Properly… I want this."

Odin, Frigga and Thor are trying to listen from outside the room. None of them wanted to leave because they wanted to see what's happening to Loki. It eased Frigga and Thor's mind a little when it went quiet; there was no screaming or smashing. Only hushed talking; they can make out some words and Odin is mostly pressed against the door trying to listen – he hates that Bruce knows more about Loki than he does. He has struggled to get information from him but he'll keep trying until he gets something. Although he hears something that just confirmed his earlier suspicions and he's had enough. He doesn't want to listen to his new love life; he just wants to know whether he'll see Laufey and stop any more problems arising. Without warning he just walks into the room and both the people sitting on the floor look up at him.

"Is everything sorted?" Odin grumbles.

"Well Loki seems calmer now; maybe we can all have a quick conversation about what's happened?" Dr Banner suggests. Odin nods and tells the other two to walk into the room; they both stand up as the chairs in the room are ruined. "We've spoken and there was just a misunderstanding in what's happened; he's had a very stressful time recently so his head's not exactly been clear. He thought that you were sending him away because of what's happened. Because of the interview and because he's not yours, biologically."

"We love you, Loki. I can't lose you again." Frigga tells him, gripping his hands; she's relieved to find that he lets her do so and squeezes back.

"Do you want to meet your father?" Odin's starting to get even more impatient.

"I… I don't… I don't think so… I'm happy with what I have…" Loki replies; he doesn't want to offend them by saying yes. He doesn't need anyone new coming in and complicating matters further.

"But he wants to meet you. He'll be upset if you don't see him."

"If Loki doesn't want to do it then you can't force him to." Bruce interrupts, not letting Odin get away with emotionally blackmailing an already fragile boy.

"I'm not going to force him; I'm just saying that his father really wants to meet him. Surely Loki has questions that he wants to ask him that we wouldn't be able to answer. Aren't you curious, Loki? I didn't think you were someone to leave things unchallenged."

Loki never thought about asking him questions; he thought that he was the one that was going to be questioned. Now that idea has come into his mind things are starting to change; perhaps it would be a good idea to meet him. If he met him just once then he can say that he tried and that it wasn't what he wanted. Bruce is about to say something; backing up his point that Odin can't force Loki when Loki speaks.

"I'll meet him… But… Here and… Maybe just the once…"

Odin smirks at Bruce; "that sounds fine, I'll arrange it."

Bruce doesn't like the fact that Loki has given into Odin but even he thinks it could be good for closure if Loki spoke to him. He stays for a little longer, wrapping up any loose ends that any of them have. The doctor doesn't leave until he's absolutely certain that Loki is settled and calm. Once Bruce leaves Loki mumbles something, excusing himself upstairs wanting to be alone.

**x-x-x**

Loki stays upstairs for the rest of the day; not even going downstairs for dinner. It pains them all to have to leave him but Bruce said that it would be a good idea to give him some space for now before talking about it. He appreciates that Bruce did that because he just wants to get his head round everything that happened today. Loki no longer feels that he knows who he is anymore; he doesn't even know who his real family is. His identity has been more or less destroyed; this morning he knew exactly who he was and he even added another role to his list but now that's the only thing he has left. Once he's met his father then he might know a little more about himself; he might know exactly who he wants to be but for now he'll just have to settle with being Tony's and he's happy with that at least there's someone he can be sure that wants him. Thinking of Tony makes him think to check his phone; it hasn't been on his mind at all since this morning. Guiltily he checks his phone to find several texts from Tony waiting for him.

_**You bet I am ;) And from what I felt you're quite a big boy yourself. – Tony**_

_**Is it too early to joke about that? I meant it in a good way! – Tony**_

_**Please tell me you're not mad at me? – Tony**_

_**I'm so so so so so so so sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to grab you it just happened, I forgot myself and I regret doing it. – Tony**_

_**I've messed this up already haven't i? – Tony**_

_**And I don't regret in meaning that it wasn't good enough for me I just hate the way I've made you feel. – Tony**_

_**I'm making this worse aren't i? – Tony**_

_**Loki please reply. – Tony**_

_**If I don't hear from you by the morning I'll have to come round to apologise to you (again) in person. – Tony**_

_**And that thought completely terrifies me because I'm rather attached to my balls and I know Thor's just gonna rip them from my body. – Tony**_

_**Alright, I get it. I'll stop texting you. Have a good evening and I'll hopefully speak to you tomorrow. – Tony**_

Loki struggles to read through all the messages; Tony just sounds so desperate and so sad and it's all because he's not even thought to check his phone. Those aren't even the reasons that he hasn't replied to him but he still feels awful that Tony believes that. He may not reply to him but he has to tell him that it isn't his fault.

_**I'm sorry that I've not replied to any of your texts until now. I got some bad news and I've not been in a good place. I'm not angry at you for what you did. I wish I was going to wake up in your bed tomorrow. – Loki**_

The boy barely has time to get changed when his phone vibrates; he wasn't expecting Tony to reply back this quickly although he can only imagine the relief he must have felt when he finally got a text from him.

_**Oh thank God! Not that it was bad news but the fact that we're ok. What was it? You don't have to talk about it I just thought you might want to if not dw. – Tony**_

_**I've spoken about it enough already for today, I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow. – Loki**_

_**That's ok. I understand. So… You want to be back in my bed? ;) – Tony **_

_**Yes. But your hands need to be above the covers where I can see them at all times. – Loki**_

_**I felt your hands wander in the night ;) – Tony**_

_**I would apologise but you're perverted and probably enjoyed it anyway. – Loki**_

_**Can I be called a pervert if a beautiful guy got a little bit adventurous and I got a little bit excited? – Tony**_

_**It wasn't a little bit excited. – Loki**_

_**I KNEW YOU WERE AWAKE! Now who's the perverted, touching an innocent young boy in his sleep? :P – Tony**_

_**Still sounds like we're talking about you. – Loki**_

They carry on talking like this until Loki gets tired and wants to go to bed. Even though they're together now Tony's still acting as the way things were before, just flirting a little bit more, which Loki is grateful for because he didn't want to have to talk about it all over again. Having a distraction is what Loki needed the most and Tony seemed to understand that and provide that. He'll tell Tony what happened tomorrow; by then he should have made sense of it himself and be able to bring himself to eat. Loki keeps his phone clutched in his hand whilst he sleeps to remind himself that he isn't as alone as he thinks he is.


	28. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay, had a lot going on yesterday. There will still be updates but it may be infrequent as things are quite hectic at the moment and I'm running out of pre-written chapters! If anyone has any information they can give me on the New York Supreme Court (Criminal) and how it works I would be very grateful!

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

When Loki finally told Tony about what happened he was amazed, but not totally surprised, at how supportive Tony was. He allowed Loki to vent what was left of his anger through texts and there was even their first phone call; which was awkward for both of them. Odin had arranged for Laufey to come round today so they could meet in an environment that was familiar to Loki. Laufey wanted to fight it but he knew if he compromised now there's more of a chance of him getting what he wants later. Giving Loki a date as to when he would meet his biological father made it all too real to him; it caused him to panic and had him waking up in cold sweats every time he closed his eyes. He's asked Tony if he'd come and support him today; Tony wasn't sure at first because of what happened the last time he met his family but he knows how much it means to Loki and thought it would be best for him to be there.

The doorbell rings and Loki jolts from the sofa; Frigga goes to answer the door but instead of bringing Laufey through it's Tony. Despite his worries Tony looks completely at ease to be there and when he sits down he puts his hand on Loki's knee and squeezes. Even though they're all aware of something going on between the two no one has asked any questions or made any comments; they've all been too focused on today to worry about anything else. The fact that his younger brother is in a relationship makes Thor anxious; he still believes him to be inexperienced of the world and it hurts how quickly he has managed to open up to a complete stranger – even when Loki still has problems with him, the person he's supposed to trust the most. Loki leans on Tony, resting his head on his shoulder exhausted from the lack of sleep and anxiety. It's comforting being with Tony again; he feels safe enough to try and get some sleep. Tony's hand comes round Loki's back and plays with some strands of hair, not caring that Loki's family are watching their every move.

It isn't for long but Loki is able to grab some moments of sleep; Tony can tell because he's slept beside him enough to realise when he's conscious and when he's not. They may be worried about how fast Loki is getting involved in people but they appreciate that Tony can do what none of them could manage; he makes him feel wanted. Things have been calmer since Loki found out about his true heritage but there's still a tense atmosphere lurking, one that's become even more suffocating today. Odin and Frigga are talking quietly so they don't disturb Loki but Thor stares intently at Tony making him feel uncomfortable. Thor doesn't mean to stare but he's not seen Loki look as relaxed as he does since the first night he stayed and Thor stayed in the room with him. He misses being the one thing that Loki needs. Loki starts stirring and he looks at Tony, momentarily confused as to why he's there.

"How are you feeling Loks?" Tony asks his tone gentle and his hand still playing with his hair.

"I'm okay… I just want this to be over."

"I know you do. It'll be over soon and we'll all be here for you."

"He's right, brother. If you need any one of us we won't be far away." Thor backs up Tony's claim.

Loki wants to correct him in calling him his 'brother' but he doesn't want to get into an argument about it; what's the point? Like Bruce said they're the only family he's got. "You won't be in here with me?"

"No we'll be in the dining room to give you both some space."

"Is that wise? If he wants us here shouldn't we stay here?" Tony challenges, he's not doing it to play the role of the overprotective boyfriend but when he was asked to be there he thought he'd be beside him helping him through it.

"This isn't my decision it's-"

"Odin's, right?"

Thor sighs and nods, he knows exactly what Tony is getting at and he does agree with him. Like Tony he wants to be in the room the whole time so Loki doesn't feel uncomfortable, but Odin doesn't think Laufey will be as open if they're all there. Laufey has always been a private person and never liked people knowing his business; Odin assumes he's still the same and it would be better if they spoke alone.

"How did I guess?" Tony mumbles sarcastically; he's trying his best not to cause a fight but sometimes he just can't help it.

"I know you don't agree with what our father does, there are times when I don't, but you will not disrespect him in his own home." Thor warns; Odin is still his father regardless of what's happening and he doesn't want to see them argue. Neither of them are the type of people to just back down which can turn messy and be even more distressing for Loki.

"I just don't want his decisions making Loki feel uncomfortable or put him in positions that he's going to hate."

"Tony, you're not the only person who cares of Loki's wellbeing and you'll do well to remember that." Thor growls and Loki sighs at their interaction, although he's pleased that Odin and Frigga are too busy with their own conversation to realise what's going on.

"Can you interrogate him later? I'm not in the mood to listen to this." Loki grumbles, staring at them. They both offer their apologies and offer a silent truce between each other.

Loki looks up at the clock, Laufey should be here soon. He stares at it as each seconds pass, which just increases his anxiety. His body shakes in a familiar way; he's so used to it that he doesn't even notice when it's happening. Tony's other hand moves from his knee and to his hands to try and snap him out of it and calm him down. The shaking starts to subside but it's still there and it's affecting his very core. Tony's murmuring soothing words to him which seems to be working; Thor who's sitting next to Loki, hesitantly strokes his arm to try and help. Since his last outburst Thor has been even more careful around his brother than usual; he rarely touches him at all in case it sends him into another rage. However this time Loki doesn't pull away or lash out and allows them to stroke and comfort him until they're satisfied they've helped him. Loki doesn't realise his eyes are still glued on the clock until he feels Tony's facial hair brush against his jaw and leave light kisses. He looks round at Tony, shocked and slightly weary of his touches; not because he doesn't like them but in case they go too far again, or in case his family don't approve at all. Frigga watches smiling and when Loki notices they're being watched he can't help but blush a little.

"If he doesn't arrive in the next ten minutes I'll call him." Odin announces, getting bored of waiting. He hates having to do things to other people's schedules and by other people's rules. His family may assume that he doesn't care about Loki but he still doesn't want him being taken advantage of by the one person they've always tried to protect him from. Laufey knows how to hold a grudge and he doesn't doubt that he's still angry at Loki for things that were completely out of his power and indirectly his fault. Loki nods not really knowing what to say; he doesn't know if this is even a good idea anymore, but as Tony said, it'll be done in a couple of hours. Hopefully his parents may even let Tony stay the night, or for dinner at least to help him calm down. If he needs it.

Another few minutes pass and the moment they've all been waiting for comes; the doorbell rings. They all visibly tense, even Odin, and look at each other as to who should answer the door. Odin stands up and walks out the room to let Laufey in. The boys grip become tighter on Loki as they hear the door open and a muffled conversation before the door is shut again. The silence in the room helps carry the echo of the footfalls which get louder as they approach the living room. Odin walks in first with the unfamiliar face following him, but when Loki looks at him, the face doesn't seem as unfamiliar as he thought. Laufey looks how Loki imagines himself to look in twenty years or more; it unnerves him how much of himself he sees in his father. Seeing the photo of the whole pack of Odinsons made him realise he didn't fit in with them but seeing Laufey makes him realise who he does fit in with. Having him in front of him in the flesh makes him feel stupid that he ever believed he could be Odin's son; if he'd seen or even heard of Laufey to begin with he might have doubted it and saved himself from all the heartache.

Laufey's cold eyes scan Loki; he's already seen his photo in the media but it's still strange seeing him sitting before him. He's a spitting image of him when he was younger; he'd feel proud if he didn't look into his eyes and see the ones Loki stole from Laufey's dead wife. Loki stares up at him in fear, which makes Laufey wonder what he's been told about him. Tony studies Loki's real father; there's no doubt about him not being who he says he is but there's something that Tony doesn't like, he just can't put his finger on it. He doesn't want to let go of Loki; he doesn't want to leave him in the room with this man, he clearly didn't care enough about him to want to keep him so why the sudden interest?

"Loki this is Laufey-" Odin begins the introduction.

"Your father." Laufey hastily adds, although making sure that Odin hadn't lied to him and that he knows who he really is.

Before Odin carries on speaking he shoots a hard look Laufey's way which doesn't go unnoticed by Loki's two protectors who can't stop staring at the two men. Loki is oblivious about everything else around him other than the unusual eyes of his father which make him feel uncomfortable. Frigga also winces when Laufey spits those words, how dare he call himself his father when he never wanted anything to do with him?

"And we're going to let you two talk alone for a while."

"But the moment you need us darling, just let us know and we'll be here. We'll only be in the dining room." Frigga reassures. Loki hears her words and it takes him a moment before he can respond, only to be cut off by Laufey.

"We'll be fine, nothing to worry about."

Unhappy with the way they're being treated in their own home Frigga wants to confront him about it or, even better, throw him out. Odin stops her before she's able to, ushering her out of the room expecting the boys to follow him. They both hesitate before standing which causes Laufey to be impatient but he keeps his mouth closed. Before Tony walks out he runs his hand through Loki's hair again and gently squeezes the back of his neck; he'd hug or maybe kiss his check but he doesn't know how Laufey would react to that. He cautiously walks out the room; he's worried about leaving Loki alone with Laufey but he's also worried about being without Loki and in a room with a family who hates him. Thor pats Loki's shoulder and offers him a small smile before turning to Laufey with an expression of steel.

"If you do anything to cause my brother distress then you will regret it. If he wants to stop, let him." Thor growls, mere centimetres away from Laufey's face.

"You're not his brother."

"I'm more his family than you will ever be."

"We'll see about that, won't we?" Laufey smirks.

Thor wants to argue and fight back but he's learnt that it will just force Loki to him even more. He gives Loki one last look before he leaves both of them alone in the room. Laufey goes to sit next to Loki but suddenly decides against it and sits in the chair that is usually occupied by Odin. The usually outspoken males have nowhere to start; there are so many things Loki wants to ask but he doesn't know what to ask first. Laufey has lots to say but not all of them appropriate and would scare Loki off before he manages to get what he wants.

"Am I what you expected?" Loki asks after a while, finally deciding what he wants to ask even though it's not the first thing that most people would think to ask.

It certainly wasn't the first question he thought Loki would ask, or a question that he would ask at all. This wasn't a question that he prepared himself for so didn't have one ready for him. He observes his son again trying to come up with the answer. "You're how I imagined you would be; although I thought you'd look more like your mother than just having her eyes." Although having less of her features is making it easier to talk to him.

"What is she like…? They only mentioned you." It didn't even register with Loki at the time that they didn't mentioned his mother, only his father. Or if they did he was too trapped in his own mind to think about it.

This is more like the questions Laufey expected, not that he wanted any more reminders of how his son savagely took her from him. Laufey was excited at first, about being a dad, Odin was full with nothing but pride when Thor was born. They even made Laufey godfather. But he couldn't do it without his wife, especially with the knowledge that it was their son that led to her death. The doctors and Odin all told him how wrong he was but he didn't want to know. They didn't understand what it was like to suddenly lose everything that you ever wanted.

"Your mother died. She was a wonderful woman. We met at school and we were inseparable. I've never loved anyone else." Although there have been several thirty minute affairs with several different women to try and fill the never ending void.

"Oh…" Loki's face drops, "how did it happen?"

_You killed her. You tore her apart. You murdered her. _He clears his throat. "There were… Complications with the birth. She didn't make it. She didn't even hold you."

Loki doesn't know how to reply; there's something in Laufey's voice that he can't place… His voice is disappointed and his eyes are sad but there's something wrong. A tone of anger, perhaps? Loki's never really heard people talk about the loss of loved ones before; surely it would be natural to be angry that they were taken away. Although why would he then give Loki away? If he's already lost one person in his family he wouldn't want to lose another? His heart drops a little, the fact that he'll never be able to meet his mother and find out if he was the son that she dreamed he'd grow up to be. A part of him doesn't want to ask any questions after that, it's clearly a painful experience for Laufey but he needs to know more.

"Why did you send me away…?"

Laufey's eyes seem to darken at the enquiry, but it was the question that he had trained himself most for. "I couldn't cope after your mother died. It wouldn't have been a stable environment to bring a child up in. I was reckless and made a lot of stupid mistakes, it wouldn't have been fair to have dragged you into it." He smiles on the inside, proud of the way he executed it. Performed just as he practiced it, countless times since he arrived.

His son nods in understanding; that makes sense. He was only trying to protect him, really he wanted to help himself before he could help Loki. "Did you know what they were going to do? Where they were going to send me?"

"No." _I wish I did that myself, would have paid the way for what you caused me to lose._ "I worked with Odin for years, I thought he'd be the one I could trust you with. Obviously not. Although you were safer in that room than you would have been with me." That's possibly the first truth he's told.

"Is that why you didn't bother trying to help me? Try to get me out?" Loki can't help but feel somewhat angry that he didn't come to find him sooner. It's understandable that he needed time to calm down but wasn't eighteen years a little excessive?

Laufey's eyes shift again, the darkness remaining. "I moved around a lot, wasn't sober for some of them. I lost my phone and ways to contact people, not just Odin but other people I knew in the states too. I had no idea you were in that room until I saw the interview with you, if I had I may have made more of an effort." _To make sure you couldn't get out._ "But I didn't and I came to America as soon as I found out."

"Where have you been?" He doesn't mean it in an accusing way, he's asking out of interest. No one's really spoken to him about other places, it might sound simple but he's interested in hearing other places people have gone to. Talk about a life outside America.

"Europe, for the most part I've lived in Norway. It's where my family is originally from so it just felt like home. I'll most likely go back there at some point. After I've done a few things with you here, of course."

"So you're not staying?" Even after everything he's been through and Laufey's managed to get himself back together, he still doesn't want his son and he still wants to leave. He's made a new life for him on his own and that's how he wants it to stay. Although Loki still has Odin and Frigga and Thor, he can't help but feel disappointed that his only biological relative doesn't want to stay around him; he just wants to leave again.

"I'll stay for a while, make sure you're settled and dealt with the press in the right way. You can always come to visit me, if we can arrange it."

"Oh… Well I'd like to visit Norway, I've seen photos."

"Yeah, yeah it's beautiful." He rushes. "How are you coping with the press? I saw the interview and it didn't go very well. I've seen some things in the newspapers too. Do you have a plan on dealing with them or?"

The question strikes Loki as odd, yet it's nice that he's trying to protect him in a way. The press are the ones that make him want to stay inside so having a plan on how to deal with them would ease that fear a little. "Um… No, not really… I just try to avoid them…" He shrugs a little.

"Well, I've been thinking you need to do another interview. Don't look at me like that; she was the wrong type of interviewer-"

"I was also told it was going to be for a newspaper. Not a TV show." Loki mumbles, still quite angry over the whole situation.

"Really?" Laufey smirks, thinking. That's something Odin failed to mention. "Well anyway, she wasn't the right interviewer for you. Also we can talk to the police and see if they'd release some of the footage they have of the experiment and combine it with a TV show, showing how you're coping now. That way you won't have people asking stupid questions and accepting the answers that you choose to give them. Lots of people would pay good money for these types of things."

Everything seems to be going too fast for Loki; he doesn't know what to say or if he wants to do it at all. He feels as though he's being pressured into it and the last time that happened it didn't end well, for any of them. But this is his father, his _real_ father, he would understand if he said no, wouldn't he? It's clear that all he's ever wanted to do is keep him safe even if that meant that he would hurt too. Where Laufey is his father maybe he does know what's best for him and this could be something that he does consider. It would keep Laufey around for a bit longer. Before making a proper decision he decides that he should talk to the Odinson's about it, and Tony, Laufey may be his father but he doesn't know him like they do. He doesn't just want to let this stranger come in and control his life either – that's happened too many times already.

**x-x-x**

Thor storms into the dining room, angry at the confrontation with Laufey. Tony makes a face when Thor throws himself into a chair with a look of thunder; it appears as though he's ready for a fight and Tony knows that he would be the one he would start on if given the chance. From what Loki has told him and what he saw at the interview, he wasn't sure how he felt about his family – it seemed as though they were selfish and too protective but sitting here with them shows them something else. They all seem tense and on edge; they all have a problem with leaving the reunited father and son alone but they still do it as they know that's what they need. It pleases Tony that they're all starting to calm down and leave Loki to do what he needs to.

"I'm just going to make some lunch." Frigga excuses herself, looking for ways to busy herself.

"Do you want any help?" Tony offers. His own words surprise him, he offered to help Jarvis a few times doing various things but it wasn't often and he grew out of it after a few years. A part of him wants to try and make an effort for Loki and he also doesn't want to be left alone with Thor and Odin.

"That'd be nice, dear." She replies, grateful of the company. Thor and Odin stare as they leave the room, wondering what Tony is up to and think that Frigga is far too trusting of him.

The two of them enter the kitchen, it's fairly big but not as big as the one at Stark mansion; Tony finds it quite cute. He watches the welcoming woman rummage around in various cupboards bringing out ingredients. She instructs Tony to get some items from the fridge and plates from another cupboard. There's something oddly comforting about this scene; he never got a chance to help his own mother in the kitchen and with Jarvis it was different. Now he feels like a proper son, not just a burden or someone's job. They work quietly before Frigga finally speaks.

"Thank you."

Tony stares at her confused. "What for? I don't mind helping out." He shrugs.

"Not for this. For what you've done for Loki. He talks to me about you more than the other two and I was very grateful for you taking care of him whilst he wasn't well." Now Frigga has stopped making the sandwiches and is staring straight into his eyes; clasping his hands in hers. He's never met the parents of someone he's been with before, not properly, sometimes he's bumped into parents when trying to sneak out in the morning (which never went down well) but he's not been in a relationship for him to need to meet the parents.

"I uh… It's nothing…"

"No, Tony, he really needs you and you're there for him in ways we can't be."

Tony tries not to smirk or blush, "I'm sure."

"I know that look." She giggles, "you're forgetting I have an average teenage son too."

Tony laughs, "yeah, how could I forget the perfect blonde who must have had countless girls coming into the house?"

"Oh, he's not that bad. He's settled now. Have you settled with Loki?"

"I guess you could say that. We're not planning a wedding or anything but we're trying a relationship…" He carries on finishing the sandwiches, unable to meet her eyes.

"Good. Now I know you're a young man, like I said I have one of my own, and I don't have to tell you this but Loki's delicate. Don't let your hormones get in the way. I don't doubt that Loki knows how everything works but that's different to going through it. Now don't rush. I'm sure you can stand giving your right hand a work out for a little longer." Tony snorts at her words and at how casual, yet elegantly, she said them; he's already learnt the hard way about how slow they need to go and that Loki has to be in full control.

"I'll uh… Keep that in mind."

"Good." She smiles, picking up the plates and carrying them back into the dining room.

When they walk back in the two men are having a heated debate over the meeting that's continuing in the next room. Odin is clearly trying to calm Thor down and stop him from interfering. Frigga announces their presence and places the plates on the table; she's realised that food is always a good way to control them. Thor suggests taking some to the boys in the next room; he expected his father to fight back but Odin didn't get a chance.

"I get you're trying to protect him, but he won't be happy if you just walk in." Tony advises, sitting back down and starting to eat.

"It would only be to take the food in and straight back out again!" Thor protests.

"But it wouldn't be, would it? You'll hear whatever they're talking about and join in and before you know it you're sitting with them."

"If you cared about Loki you'd want to make sure he's okay."

"Don't you dare. You know as well as I do that to show we care he'd want us to trust him, to believe he can do things on his own and give him his space." Tony snaps. He can understand why Loki gets so frustrated with his brother, he's always ready to storm in and take charge of a situation that doesn't need handling.

"What is it you want with Loki?" Odin asks.

No one is surprised at the bluntness of Odin's tone. "I want to help him."

"And bedding him is helping him, is it?"

"I haven't bedded him." He sighs, "that was the bed that he stayed in whilst he was sick and on the last night I fell asleep in the bed too. We were both clothed and you know it."

"Then how do you explain the bruises on his neck and chest?"

Thor glares at Tony, he didn't know about any of this Odin hadn't mentioned it and Loki kept himself covered. "You mean when you were supposed to be caring for my little brother, you were touching him?"

"Not in the way that you're thinking. I spooned him at the most." He lies, although it's not a comforting one to Thor.

"I will not have you hurting my brother."

"But I'm not the one hurting him, am I big guy? Even though we all know you don't mean it, you're the one that hurts him and controls him. You need to step back. If we end up not working then there's nothing you can do about it apart from being there for him without saying 'I told you so.' Not that I'm planning on us not working."

"He doesn't need a relationship right now; he's confused enough about the new world as it is."

"Thor's right, he doesn't know enough about the world to know exactly what he wants." Odin adds.

"But he knows that he wants someone to care for him and only him; someone who's going to let him be him without telling him to be someone else. That the person he thinks he is isn't actually him because he doesn't understand the real world. You're holding him back." Tony pauses and thinks for a moment. "Is this because it's another guy? Would you be acting like this if he had a nice young girl instead?"

"It would still bother me either way. Although, I'd probably be more uncomfortable if it was a girl instead of you." Odin replies, more honestly than any of them thought he would. The topic of gay relationships is something that hasn't really come up in the household; not because they're against it but because Thor has always liked girls and his friends were the same. They all know and are friends with people with various sexualities and they've never thought anything of it, why did they have to? They're still the same people after all, humans like the rest of them. "At least with you, you can guide him. Although that doesn't mean I'm happy with you corrupting him. Don't think I don't know anything about your reputation. That's why I don't want you with him. You won't make him happy."

"Alright, it's understandable that my reputation is bothering you. But since I've come home from MIT and found out what my dad's been up to I've changed. Well, mostly anyway… You've changed too, haven't you?"

Odin watches him, curious at the question. "How do you mean?"

"Loki feels like you don't care because you don't speak to him and at the interview you didn't care either. But you don't like this Laufey getting involved in something that you've invested in do you?"

"You don't know Laufey like I do. You might think I'm bad but I'm nothing compared to him. And don't try to change the subject. I don't want you in a relationship with Loki and that's final. You should feel lucky I've let you be his friend."

"Well that's not your call to make, is it?" Tony challenges. "I make Loki happy more than you do, more than any of you. You've denied him his right to freedom long enough; I will not let you deny him this too."

Thor wants to step in, to support his father but after hearing Tony's argument he's not sure he wants to. As much as he hates to admit it to himself or feed Tony's ego, he's right. Why are they continuing to restrict Loki's life the way they are and say it's protectiveness? It may be the case for him but it's certainly not the case for Odin.

"No, but I can deny you." He threatens.

A snarky response is on the tip of his tongue but it retreats when the dining room door opens and Loki and Laufey walk in. They tell them all how they've spoken and have agreed to meet at a later date too, so they can discuss what Laufey suggested further. Odin sees Laufey out so he can talk to him briefly before he goes. When they're out of the room Tony pulls Loki close to him, partly to comfort him and partly to show Thor that he has no intention of backing down. Loki gratefully accepts the physical contact, relieved that the stressful encounter is over. The sound of the door shutting echoes down the hall and Odin enters the room again.

"How was it, darling?" Frigga asks stroking his back.

"It was okay." He mumbles, turning to face her but still close to Tony.

"Just okay?"

"He seemed… Off… I don't quite know how to describe it, My mother's dead….And he's going to go back to Norway once he's helped me deal with the press." Loki explains, none of them are particularly happy with the way he's talking.

"What do you mean help with the press?" Tony asking the question that's on everyone's lips.

"Help set up a better interview… Possible TV show."

None of them can hide their disgust at the idea. "Is that something you really want to do?" Tony's there with the question again.

"I don't know. I said we'd talk about it another time… I don't really know what I want. I don't think I even want him around." Loki confesses which seems to relax the others. "Can we just not talk about it for a while? I just want a rest."

"Of course! We have some snacks here, we can watch some movies." Thor suggests, smiling at his brother.

"As long as it's not you that picks them… You have a terrible taste in films."


	29. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay, once again, I have a lot going on at the moment. This is only a filler as well but it's linking into the chapters that I'm writing now – which are very frustrating.

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

Things have been somewhat easier since Laufey's visit, the family seem to be getting on better and although Odin doesn't want his son in a relationship he hasn't tried to actively stop them. Loki knows that he should probably contact Laufey and tell him that he doesn't want to do what he offered but he can't bring himself to do it. He's scared of Laufey, not necessarily because he'll do something to him for refusing but because that would be yet another person he'd be disappointing because of his fears of the world around him. Bruce has reassured him that those fears will subside and there's a chance that they can go altogether but it'll need constant work. His family aren't pushing him into talking to Laufey about it; they're just pleased that he has decided that he doesn't want to do it. Frigga doesn't want to see her son go through all that again, even Odin has said that he doesn't want Loki doing it but he hasn't disclosed a reason for it.

Though he hasn't seen Tony, Loki has spoken to him every day and is starting to talk more openly about everything that he's thinking. As much as Tony enjoys how Loki talks to him now, sometimes he feels out of his depth with some of the things Loki comes out with. It scares him a little how he doesn't know how to help Loki deal with what he's been through; although according to Bruce just listening to whatever Loki wants to tell him is just the support he needs. Inappropriate as some of his comments may be, they can also be helpful when Loki just needs a distraction and if he doesn't appreciate it he is quick to say so.

To Loki it is a comforting thought that once he's spoken to Laufey there won't be any more worries. He's lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling imagining the weight being lifted from his shoulders and his chest becoming lighter. No matter how wonderful it may seem to him every time he picks up his phone his chest constricts in fear and he immediately puts it back down. He may not have any problems with Laufey once it's done and he knows the truth about his family and he's sorted things out with Tony; but how could he be sure that would be where it ends? Every time he thinks he's getting somewhere, that there can't be anything else being kept from him he's sorely mistaken and he's left even more heartbroken than he was to begin with. At least when he was being kept in the room the only thing kept from him (apart from the physical) was that it was all an experiment and fake. It would be funny that the only honest part of his life would be the one in the room if it wasn't so sad. The Stark men only lied to him once but his family just keep suffocating him with their made up stories.

Bruce has been checking up on him every day too, it's not the usual practice but he can't help but worry about him. Loki is in an unusual situation, it's only fair that he bends the rules slightly to help him cope with it all. It unsettles him how happy Loki feels when he thinks of his life before all this and how he sometimes talks about Howard with more fondness than Odin; he understands why he does that, he can't claim to be Odin's biggest fan but Stockholm syndrome affects people in all types of ways. At the moment Loki seems to be coping quite well but he doesn't know how long for. He doesn't like having to bring it up with Loki as it makes Loki feel uncomfortable but he has to make sure that he's doing okay. Bruce has sent another assessment to the police about Loki's progress and they seem to be happy with it and want to make the next move. They haven't officially charged Howard yet and there are some things in the whole case that just doesn't make sense; Bruce has kept putting them off talking to Loki whilst he is adjusting but now he's realising that Loki needs to do this.

Loki is so deep in thought, gripping his phone in his hand that he doesn't even notice the knock on the front door or even it opening and shutting. The only thing that jars him from his own world is his name being shouted from downstairs by Odin. He freezes when this happens; his mind races trying to think of all the reasons and possibilities that would cause Odin to call him like that; why he needs to go downstairs. Not wanting to anger him further he starts to make his way downstairs and into the living room. The first thing he notices is that Bruce is sitting on the sofa; he usually says if he's coming over if he's coming on a different day to the one they scheduled. Even if his parents have asked him to come down he'll inform him or his mother will. The next thing he notices is the man sitting next to him; he isn't an unfamiliar face but he's one that he had forgotten about with all the various things coming to light. Loki can't remember his name but he knows he's the one that took him from his room and forced him into this whole new world. The blonde stands up and extends his hand to Loki which Loki hesitantly takes.

"It's good to see you again Loki." The man has a firm grip on his hand and a smile lighting up his blue eyes. "I'm the guy that got you out, Steve Rogers?" He can see the uncertainty in Loki's posture ease slightly as he says his name. Loki doesn't reply and looks at Bruce for an explanation; his family watching also surprised by this visit. He moves over from where he was sitting putting a gap between him and Bruce, motioning for Loki to sit down.

"Steve is here because he has something he wants to talk to you about. It's nothing bad, you're not in trouble and we've not been hiding anything from you." Bruce tells Loki, not wanting to freak him out any more than he already is. "I'm sure you already know the basics of the legal system and the fact that you're going to need to do a few things, not for the press or for your family but for yourself."

"Basically me and Bruce have been talking since you came out. He doesn't tell me what you say to him or anything like that; he's just been monitoring your mental stability for me. It's nothing for you to worry about. Bruce has briefly told me what's been going on with you recently and how strong you've become even if you still have moments. We've tried to put off the trial for as long as possible but we can't do it for much longer." Steve continues the explanation.

"What is it you need me to do?" Loki asks as he waits for the request.

"Well we're going to need to hear your side of the story; you're going to be asked questions about everything. We're doing this so Howard can't subject anyone else to any of his experiments. I don't know if you know this but he was known for doing risky things; never to the extent of yours but that didn't stop him. And it may not stop him again if he doesn't get put away."

"So you want me to help you put him in a room for the rest of his life?" The irony of the situation is screaming at him.

Everyone stares at him, mouths slightly open at the comment. Thinking about it now it does seem strange that Loki would view it like that and they would have Loki do that to Howard. Does he want to get revenge on Howard like that or at all? Thor thinks that he should, and Tony would too to an extent, but is that what Loki really wants? To betray the man that gave him everything?

"It's not exactly like that but yes… It's what needs to be done. He's too dangerous to be allowed to walk free."

"But he cared for me, he isn't dangerous he just…"

Bruce sighs softly and places his hand on Loki's forearm. "I know from your perspective it's as though he looked after you and cared for you but he kept you locked away. He was so obsessed about making you suffer and the darkness that he forgot his own child. Not only has he hurt you but he's hurt Tony too." The doctor knows that it's a low blow but he's running out of ways to make Loki realise that Howard needs to be locked away. Although regardless of whether he answers the questions or not there is enough evidence to send him down; they just want to make sure everything is uncovered before they do.

"I'm not saying he's a good man I just… Don't know if he's bad enough to put him through what I went through. You all think he's a monster for doing it to me; I refuse to be seen as a monster doing it to him." He doesn't want to be like Howard; not just because of the times he made him suffer but because he's scared that Tony would reject him.

"It'll be different to what you went through; it's something for all criminals. I'm sure you know of prisons and things?" Steve asks him, he didn't know it would be this difficult to convince him. After the bad experience with the interview he knew that he would be wary about the whole asking questions part but he didn't think there would be a problem with Howard. "Everyone will understand completely if you choose to do it, anyone else would if put in your situation. But it is your choice, as I said there should be enough evidence to convict him. Your family will still need to be examined in court."

Odin shifts uncomfortably in his chair, so subtly he doesn't think anyone will notice. But Thor does and it puts him on edge, what could his father have done this time? He makes a note to ask him about it once the doctor and the police officer has left. Frigga feels slightly anxious too, she knows there is just one more thing that they're hiding but she's worried that Odin has kept more from her. Either way she doesn't want it to come out but they need to confront Howard; they need to let Loki confront Howard.

"Would I be able to stop the questions? Will I be able to talk to Dr Stark?"

"Dr Stark will be present during your trial unless that's not what you want then you can speak in another room on a video feed. You will be able to speak to him but after it has all happened; you're not allowed to do it before the trial at the risk of him influencing you. And you will be able to stop the questions at any time."

Loki nods, sitting quietly considering the offer. Bruce's hand is still on his arm for support. "Will you be there too?"

"Of course I will." Bruce smiles.

"Okay. I can do this." Loki says more to himself than the others.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Thor asks, not trying to undermine him but to make sure that he is okay with it. He doesn't want him to run away again.

"Yes, Thor. It needs to be done." Although his words sound confident, Dr Banner can feel the boy shake gently. It's natural to be afraid of most decisions he makes, especially ones as big as this. "It'll be fine, I can do this."

The men stay a little bit longer, answering any more questions that the family might have and just making sure that they all want to do this. Odin is hesitant but he tries not to let it show; he just needs to hold his nerve and everything will be fine. Once they're happy that everything has been cleared they say their goodbyes and leave. The family stay in their seats even after hearing the door close. Thor looks over at his father; the question burning his lips just wanting to be asked. It may not be ideal to speak in front of Loki and his mother but it's not something that he can just forget and with an audience he may feel more pressured to answer.

"What is it Thor?" Odin asks after catching his son staring at him.

"Does something trouble you about the trial, father? About having to speak about your part in all this?" Loki looks up at Thor's question to watch the interaction; there's something off in Thor's tone that surprises him.

"Why would it?"

"I don't know I was hoping that you could tell me."

"There is nothing wrong, Thor."

"Is there nothing that you need to tell us before the trial? Because if there's anything else that you're keeping from us I think I can speak for all of us when I say that it's better for you to tell us now rather than find out in front of everyone else."

Odin stares at Thor and the others stare at him; he can feel their eyes watching his every slight move. "I don't know what you're talking about, Thor." He replies calmly after collecting himself. The moment's hesitation before the words is of no comfort to Thor; he maintains the stare but decides not to challenge him further. It's hard to believe a man who's lied so much to them all but at the same time he has no real proof to say he's lying again this time.

"Are you sure that this is what you want to do, Loki? It'll be worse than the interview; it'll be more like an interrogation." Odin asks, trying to move the attention away from him. If he can get Loki to change his mind then there could be a chance that he could get out of it too.

"I'm sure Loki will be fine, father. He did well before despite your deception; now he'll be better prepared." Thor steps in; a part of him knows that he probably shouldn't and Loki won't appreciate it but he can't let his father get away with scaring him like he is. He understood it when Laufey brought up the interviews but this is something different and something that's more important.

"I didn't deceive him. I simply withheld a small part of the truth in order to protect him."

"He's stronger than you think; than what any of us expected. And he can do this, just like he did the interview. If he gets there and realises he doesn't want to do it then that's fine too. But you're not going to force him in or out of anything." Thor warns; his voice deep and his eyes not leaving his father's.

Odin wants to reply but he knows that wouldn't be the right thing to do; without Thor on his side and Frigga being silent on the matter he knows that he's fighting a losing battle. Perhaps if he can get Laufey on his side then Loki will fall into place too and Thor. Grumbling a dismissive response, Odin walks out the room leaving them to discuss the trial without his input. Once he's out of the room Thor glances over at Loki to see his reaction to what he said to Odin; he expects to see anger due to his interference again but that's not what he faces. What he gets is Loki smiling a little at him in admiration and appreciation; for once Thor has stepped in at the right moment and his chest swells with pride. He's finally getting his relationship with his brother on the track he wanted it on from the start.

**x-x-x**

Tony isn't staying away from Loki because of what Odin had said to him; if anything he's talking to him even more. After all the revelations when Loki went home he figured that it would probably be a good idea to give him some time with his family; he did stay with him for a while before it all. It also gives him more time to work in his lab; after talking to Loki so much about family it really hit home how empty the mansion seemed to him. Although he hardly saw Howard when he did live there and visit during breaks from MIT it was comforting knowing that there was someone else in the house. There are housekeepers but he often just sends them home, there's no point in having all the staff round if it's just him. The most mess he makes is in his lab but the only other person he'd allow to clean it is Dummy. There have been times where Pepper and Rhodey pushed their way in but Tony tries to stop that from happening where possible.

He's sitting at his desk, parts everywhere; alternating between tinkering with the various objects and furiously typing away at the screen. The genius started plans for an AI when he was at MIT; it's a project he's always kept close to him, if it is the success he's hoping it will be he wants it to be all his doing and with no one else's help. It hasn't even been mentioned to Pepper and Rhodey, they would be supportive if he did but they would constantly be checking up on him – not for an update on his work but to make sure that he was sleeping and eating properly. When he's working he just likes to be left to it without someone mothering him; he's been considering telling Loki just to give them something to talk about when it all gets too much for Loki and he knows that he wouldn't fuss him like Pepper would. Loki may not be able to understand the technical side to it all but he would try and he would probably find it interesting, he could even teach him the basics (not that there is anything basic about the idea).

As he works Tony has his music blasting, drowning out the outside world allowing his mind to whirl and sort through ideas. So consumed with his work he doesn't even notice how silent his phone has been this morning, usually Loki would have texted him now. The song he's listening to finishes and there's a short pause before the next one starts, now the room is quiet Tony can finally hear the relentless buzzing of the intercom. Huffing and stopping what he's doing, he presses the button waiting to hear Pepper's voice on the other side.

"Hello, Mr Stark?" A voice that's definitely _not_ Pepper's answers.

"Mr Stark is currently banged up. This is Tony." He grunts and rolls his eyes; he'll never be able to get away from his father.

"Sorry, Tony is who I want to speak to. It's Steve Rogers? I'm the one working on Loki's case?"

"Oh right. What do you want?"

"Um, can we talk inside? I'd rather we talk in private."

"This is a private line." Tony protests.

"Tony it's important, it's about Howard's trial." Steve replies in his stern voice, he clearly isn't in the mood for the young mechanic's antics today.

Tony sighs in defeat, "fine. I'll be right up." He disconnects the line and walks back over to his desk. So he doesn't lose what he was doing he quickly writes some notes of what he wants to try next; as he's writing he suddenly gets more ideas on how to make his AI work and how powerful he wants it to be. To Tony he doesn't feel he's been making the notes long before the intercom starts buzzing again. Allowing his feet to drag him back over to the small box he presses the button again.

"God, you're so impatient."

"You said you'd be right up. That was half an hour ago. Stop wasting my time and get your ass up here." Okay so Steve's definitely _not_ in the mood to put up with Tony's shit.

"Alright, alright I'm coming." Tony resists the urge to carry on with his notes and makes his way upstairs. Opening the door he is welcomed with an irritated Steve Rogers who walks in without being asked; he's been waiting nearly an hour on the doorstep and he isn't going to stay on it any longer. Without commenting Tony leads him into the living room, motioning for him to sit down. "Want a drink?"

"No, thanks. I have other things that I'm already late for but this needs to be done."

"I'm flattered you want to be in my company so bad, Rogers."

"Don't be. I'm here to talk to you about the trial that's going to be taking place." Steve tells him before he can interrupt again.

"Trial? What trial?" No one's mentioned anything to Tony about a trial.

"Your father's trial-"

"Not my father and it's about time-"

"We've had to keep pushing the trial back; we needed to wait to see if Loki was ready. It's not coming at a great time, I know what he's going through right now but we can't hold it off any longer. Bruce and I went to see him this morning and he is willing to do the trial and he is happy to stand." Steve explains.

"So why do you need me there?" Tony never had anything to do with it and knew nothing about it, why do they think that he can help them? That he would have anything useful to say, although he would enjoy being there and seeing his father sent down. He'd want to support Loki too, it's not going to be easy; the interrogation can be ruthless depending on their moods.

"Because there will be questions that they'd want you to answer; if they can add more time to his sentence for anything else he might have done then they would want to do that. Also not everyone is convinced that you knew nothing about it so they want to ask you more questions to get to the bottom of it."

"Get to the bottom of what?! I didn't know anything about it!"

"I know, Tony, I believe you it's just that other people don't."

"Why not? Everyone knows that Howard wasn't father of the year."

"Because people find it hard to believe that Howard kept someone locked up here without anyone knowing… Even Jarvis knew."

Tony's heart stops and his breath catches in his throat. So Jarvis _did_ know what was going on. Steve watches Tony has his face drops and sees that this is new information to him. It's as though his world has just crashed around him, is there anything that wasn't kept from him in his life? At least he was told now and not finding out at the trial; he wouldn't want to lose face like this in front of lots of people, especially ones who would use it to their advantage.

"What do you mean he knew…? How do you know he knew? He died, how could he have told you?" Tony asks whatever questions come to his mind trying to make sense of it all.

"Before I was stationed here and Jarvis knew he was dying he came to the man in charge he informed him as to what was going on. I read the transcript of the conversation and it seemed that Jarvis didn't want to die with it on his conscience. He hated himself from keeping it from everyone." Steve tells him.

"But he died years ago… Why wasn't it sorted then? Why was it left so late?" Tony's anger at Jarvis is being replaced by anger at the police force. How dare they let his father get away with it for so long? Isn't it their job to protect the people?

"Well that's not as easy to understand. The reasoning given is that because Jarvis was dying and would have been on medication, he wasn't in his right mind. It seems it was simply brushed off and no one questioned his actions. Well, no one questioned him until they learnt that he did a lot of dodgy dealings and took bribes… They kicked him off the force and he just disappeared, until he turned up as a victim in one of our murder cases. When he left I took over some of his cases and I saw this in the notes and couldn't ignore it."

"Oh shit… I… I can't believe this has been going on. This whole situation is fucked." Tony runs his hands roughly through his hair in frustration.

"Yes, it is. But we're in the process of sorting it out, we may be late but at least it's happening. Everything will okay, Tony." Steve tries to reassure even though he can't do much else.

Tony shrugs, "yeah. Is there anything else?" He's itching to go back to his lab and just forget it all with his project.

"No, I'll be in contact closer to the time. It shouldn't be long now though, a couple of weeks or so?" Tony nods; once he has shown Steve out he goes straight back into his lab with his music on and busying his hands and head with science. Despite the revelations there can be a comforting thought to be taken from this; even though Jarvis was aware of what was happening, he still tried to get it to end even if he did wait longer than he should have to do it.

**x-x-x**

Alone in his rented apartment, Laufey stares out on the city below him with disdain; he can't believe that he used to live here and be a part of his life. Once he's got what he wants from his unwanted son he's going straight back to the life he's made for himself in Norway. Although he saw Loki's hesitation when he mentioned the interviews and the other money making exclusives he has in mind he knows that he's not going to say no to him, it's just a matter of time. He spends most of his time in his apartment, he doesn't want to be contaminated by the dirty air around him; they were never going to live in the city. They were going to live on the edge so he could work and she could look after their child somewhere clean and fresh where they could be healthy and happy. But all that was taken away from him and he finds it fitting that the normal world was taken away from Loki; he just wishes it lasted longer, that he was left there to die. Yet why should he be allowed to see the woman he killed before Laufey does? Before the man who loved her and cared for her.

The shrill ringing of his phone pulls him away from the window and the world outside. "Hello?" He growls to whoever's on the other end.

"I'm just giving you a warning; Howard Stark's trial is going to start soon. Steve Rogers might be in contact telling you to stand and to speak; he's already been round here to talk to us and Loki is willing to give evidence, not that they need it." Odin goes straight to the point without any unnecessary small talk.

"What? Who's Steve Rogers? What happened to the last one? Thanos or something? He was good, kept his mouth shut."

"He was suspended from the force when they realised he was being paid to keep things quiet; before they could do much else about it he was found dead. I think someone who paid him probably just wanted to make sure he couldn't say anything but nothing was really said about it."

"Do they know you-?"

"No, not that I'm aware of." Odin cuts his panic short, "oh and Loki won't be doing those things you asked for. Not now this trial is coming up."

"I'd rather hear that from him, Odin."

"Well I'd rather you hadn't come back at all. Now, no more about it. I shall call you when I get more details and you call me if you hear anything too." He instructs. Laufey grumbles a response and hangs up; angry that he's been denied the only thing that he came back for. But he's not going to leave it at that, he's going to get what he deserves.


	30. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**A/N:** Once again, sorry for the delay I wasn't expecting it to be so long. I was having a lot of trouble with one of the chapters and I thought I would be more motivated to write if I delayed releasing this. Hopefully I'll be more on top of it now as, at the moment, the current one is much easier to write. In addition to this the rating is going to go up to an M (this is by AO3's rating standards, so don't be disappointed if it's not what you think/want). Thank you for all the support and reviews, I love reading them and the response I have got! And now onto the chapter…

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

It's been three days since Steve's and Bruce's visit and it hasn't been Bruce's last. Since they informed the family of the trial Bruce has been coming round every day to help coach Loki through what will happen and to try and get him to face his Stockholm syndrome. It's something he should have done for the interview too but because they all thought it was going to be a newspaper; that wouldn't need as much preparation. They don't want to make the same mistake, leave Loki unprepared and feed him to the tigers like they did last time. Odin has kept out of the way even more so than he has been already; especially with Bruce around. The doctor hasn't just been there for Loki, he's been there to advise all of them if they need it. Thor has taken advantage of this, now he's made his way into Loki's good books he doesn't want to ruin it now. Bruce has even managed to get them both to talk in a group session to try and wear down Loki's barriers.

Laufey hasn't tried to contact Loki which has made Bruce's job a lot easier where that's concerned. He's told Loki to focus on the trial first and deal with Laufey later; the last thing he wants to do right now is get involved with Laufey and whatever deals that he wants to make. Loki doesn't need any more stress than what he's going to be dealing with because of the trial alone. Bruce hopes that Odin may have had something to do with Laufey's silence; he doesn't know how else to explain it and it would be the only good thing that he's done for the lost child. In the room Loki had always had a routine; he'd usually be up early to fit everything he was required to into the day. Even being out of the room his body clock gets him up at the same time every morning. There have been a few times that Thor has joked about it as he doesn't get up until around eleven when he can; after the last time he swore never to do it again after seeing how distressed his brother became. It's natural to him and to have someone ridicule it hurts him, especially as it isn't his fault; it came to a point where he'd wake up and realise what the time is and cry quietly because he's not like other "average" people his age. The incident came up in a session once with Bruce and since then he'd make sure he'd text him every morning, just to greet him, to reassure him that he wasn't the only one up at that time. Soon Loki was convinced that the earlier that he was up, the more time he had to enjoy another day being outside of the room.

Sleepily Loki's eyes start to open as his body starts to wake up. The blurred numbers on his clock start to become clearer as he checks the time; he sees what he expected and leans back against his pillows. Before he can relax and gain the strength he needs to get up his phone vibrates with his daily text from Bruce. Swinging his legs off the side of the bed he grabs his phone; not only is there a text from Bruce but there's one from Tony, Loki must have fallen asleep mid conversation again. He taps out a quick apology to Tony saying that it wasn't his fault that he bored him to sleep and then moves onto Bruce's. The morning texts rarely lead to a conversation – he usually sends them on his way to work and doesn't have time for it. Today's message isn't something that he was expecting; it was more than just the usual.

_**Good morning. I know I said that I would be over today however something very important has come up with another patient. I can still come over in the evening if you want, hopefully it shall all be sorted by then. I'm sorry. – Bruce**_

His breath gets caught whilst reading it, he's never been pushed aside by his doctor before. It's never been kept from him that Bruce has other patients; he'd be a fool to think that he was the only thing that Bruce had to focus on. Despite knowing that he wasn't his only patient it still hurts to know that other people have his attention – he knows it's silly to feel possessive over him but he can't help it. None of them have been through what he has so what could possibly be more important? Again, he knows he isn't the only one with a problem but everyone has told him he's the worst case they've ever seen so why has this suddenly changed? Is it because he's getting 'better'? Loki has never thought of himself as getting better; plenty of people have commented on it but he's not really taken any notice before. If getting better means he's going to start losing people then it doesn't sound as appealing as it once did. When he thinks about it he doesn't see why he has to get 'better' he isn't suffering for an illness; there's nothing wrong with him as far as he's concerned. It's hard to imagine life without a lot of the people that have worked their way into it now, especially Bruce. He's been there for him from the start and he doesn't want to lose that. The selfish part of Loki wants to message him back telling him that he's not alright with it and he needs him here but he can't bring himself to do it.

_**No that's okay. I'll let you know if we need you.- Loki**_

All desire to get up has vanished and he makes his way back under the covers and buries his head in his pillows. He hears his phone go off again but he doesn't bother to look this time; he knows it's just going to be another apology which will make him feel guilty and angry all at once. The thought crosses his mind to do something to show that he's not moving forward, in fact he's staying the same or getting worse, but he doesn't want to put himself through that – or anyone else. It's hard enough to come to terms with the fact he could be losing someone; he doesn't want to make anyone else feel the same. For the first time ever he forces himself to go back to sleep, maybe it'll stop hurting by the time he wakes up.

**x-x-x**

Vibrating from the bedside table causes Loki to stir, the second sleep refuses to let go of him however the second vibration has other plans. Without opening his eyes he pats around for his phone. Finding it he prises his eyes open only for the bright screen to sting him; he can barely make out Tony's name. Loki thinks he's seeing things when he reads who the other message is from. Laufey's name is there; there's no mistaking the clear black letters on the crisp white background. His stomach sinks further, first Bruce cancelling and now this.

_**It's been a while since we last spoke. You need to come over so we can talk about things. – Laufey**_

Loki is awake enough to recognise an order when he's being given one; he's also awake enough to feel outraged by it. They've met once and now he feels he can come into his life and demand things from him. Before replying he looks at the time and looks at Tony's message to try and calm himself down before replying to his _father_. It works as well as he thought it would, Tony teases him for not having the stamina to keep up with him. He doesn't bother to indulge him in his sexual games; it's an easier way to get him to stop and change the subject. Tony doesn't seem to mind and texts him back within seconds.

_**Got any plans for today? – Tony **_

_**Laufey's requested my presence. – Loki**_

_**Are you going to go? I can come with you if you want me to – Tony**_

He sighs reading Tony's offer, it would make things easier if someone was there with him but he doubts Laufey will like that and it could just cause more problems for him. Then again he doesn't really want to go at all, especially alone, as far as Loki was concerned they didn't need to talk about much else. It was Odin who pushed him into the meeting in the first place, he was happy with Odin and Frigga as his parents without anyone else getting involved and trying to claim him. After leaving him for all this time he didn't think Laufey would even be interested in getting to know him or being in his life. To Loki it all seems a little suspicious but both he and Bruce believe that it could just be where he isn't used to this environment or these situations.

_**No, it's fine. – Loki**_

_**So you're gonna go? – Tony**_

_**Maybe. – Loki**_

_**You don't have to. – Tony**_

_**I know. – Loki**_

This is all too heavy for the first thing in the morning. He can't waste any more time in bed, he regrets allowing himself to fall back asleep as it is. Footsteps are making their way up the stairs and along to his room. His family must be concerned that they haven't heard anything from him; he's usually the second one downstairs to keep Frigga company. There's a light tapping at the door which Loki almost misses; he turns his head in time to see his mother entering his room. Relief spreads through her when she sees he's awake, though the concern on her face still lingers.

"Are you alright, darling? You're usually up by now. Are you not feeling well?" She asks, her hand lightly touching his forehead to check for a temperature.

"I'm fine, mother. I just wanted to see what was so appealing to stay in bed for hours." It's not the truth and they both know it but neither of them want to point it out. Instead Frigga offers a soft giggle and a nod of her head.

"Is it appealing to you?"

"Not at all. I shall join you downstairs soon."

She smiles and kisses his head leaving him to get dressed. Loki pauses before he gets out of bed; he's slower than usual but he finally ends up downstairs where Frigga and Thor are eating. Odin would have already gone to work; that is the one benefit of being up late, not having to be in his presence before work. Thor's greeting is muffled by the food in his mouth; Frigga gently chastises him and once he swallows he mumbles an apology. It's strange to Loki how the day can start off so bad yet still be like any other. Frigga puts a plate of food in front of him, he starts eating wondering how to bring up that he's going to see Laufey today.

"Do you want to go out today?" Thor asks, giving Loki the opening that he was looking for.

"Laufey has asked me to visit him." Loki replies after a couple of bites.

Both Thor and Frigga tense at this, they exchange a worried glance between them. Loki doesn't look at them and carries on distracting himself with the plate in front of him. It's only just occurred to him how different it is having someone else prepare meals for you rather than having to do it yourself. Sometimes it can be useful but if it's done wrong then he might as well have done it himself. It also worries him, he's been independent for so long he doesn't want that taken away from him – he doesn't want to be any more dependent than he already has to be.

"When?" Frigga asks.

"He asked me this morning, I was going to go once I'd eaten."

"Why does he want to see you?" It just doesn't make sense to Thor; he just wants Laufey to leave Loki alone. He didn't care when he was a child and he doubts that he cares now.

"He didn't say."

"I'll come with you." He offers.

"No." Loki says too quickly, "I'll be fine. I don't think he'd want you there. He'll just dance around the issue rather than be blunt and I don't want to waste unnecessary time there."

"At least let me drive you." Thor tries to compromise.

"Fine."

**x-x-x**

The brothers pull up outside of Laufey's apartment building; Laufey is watching out of the window, he knows he'll be arriving shortly after a brief text conversation. Before allowing Loki out of the car Thor makes him promise that Loki will call him if something bad happens or when he wants to be picked up. He originally wanted to wait outside for him but Loki fought hard to get him to leave him to it. Loki gets out of the car and disappears into the building; Thor hesitates before he leaves, he desperately wants to stay but he knows his brother wouldn't thank him for it. Reluctantly he pulls away from the building and heads to his friends, waiting for the call to say he can come and rescue him.

Nerves hit Loki on the way up to the apartment; he wants to run back outside and get back in the car. Shaking his head he pushes the thoughts out of his mind, he doesn't want to run away now. He's not going to let himself run away. Reaching the door he composes himself before he knocks; his knuckles barely brush against the wood before the door is flung open and his father is standing in front of him. No words are exchanged; he simply moves out of the way and allows Loki to walk in. There's a brief pause where his doubts resurface but he manages to pull himself into the room. He feels he's hyper aware of everything around him; even the quiet click of the door shutting. The boy stands there waiting to be told what to do or even just given permission to sit down. As though reading his thoughts Laufey motions to the sofa and Loki picks his spot.

On the coffee table in front of him there are several leaflets, posters and documents all with familiar logos on them. Some are TV networks, some are film companies and there are even book publishers there too. Loki never fully expected Laufey to want to see him purely to spend time with him; to get to know his son and make up for the lost time, but he wasn't expecting him to just launch into a sales pitch. He didn't even say if he wanted to do it or not and yet he's gone ahead as though he's agreed to it.

"Any catch your eye?" Laufey asks, sitting beside him.

"What's this for?"

"For you to tell your story." He replies in a tone that says that Loki shouldn't have bothered asking that question.

Loki sighs, "but I've already done an interview. People know the story."

The older man barks out a bitter laugh that puts Loki on edge. "If you think people are satisfied with that piss poor performance then you're very mistaken. You need to do more and this is how you're going to do it. Take a look through these and choose the ones you like. I've made a list of reasons why you should or shouldn't go for them and wrote how much they're willing to offer. I'm going to make some coffee. Have a better look at some." As he gets up he thrusts a pile of papers onto Loki's lap.

Loki decides not to bother arguing and to humour him for a moment, just until he comes back and then he'll tell him that he doesn't want to do it. He flicks through the papers reading the notes that his father had made. It doesn't escape his attention that the companies that have more positive points are also the ones that are offering the most money. He doesn't need the money, his family isn't exactly poor and he knows if there was anything he ever wanted or needed Tony would be there to help him out. Not that he'd just used Tony for his money; he respects him more than to just do that – which is surprising after what had happened between them. He hasn't even got through the one pile that Laufey gave him when he came back with two coffees. _He didn't even ask how I have my coffee._

"So what do you think?" There's no mistaking that Laufey is genuinely interested in what Loki wants to do or wants to pick but Loki knows what he's going to say is not what he wants to hear.

"You've done… A lot of research…" Loki sips some of his coffee and suppresses his grimace as he sets it back down.

"Well we need to make sure that this is perfect and that we both get the most out of it."

"If it's _my_ story then why are _you_ so interested in getting involved?" Loki didn't mean for it to sound as harsh as it does but he's getting sick of being pushed into things. If it is _his_ story then it's _his_ choice to share it and how. Why would he want to make money through sharing his suffering? It's not going to change anything and it's going to be unnecessary.

Laufey's face drops and any cheerful expression he had is now gone. It's clear that he's trying to maintain control of his emotions and slowly losing the battle. "Because I am your father and I want the best for you." It looks as though it pains him to even say those words so how could it possibly be true? "It is important for you to speak out so people won't replicate this and raise awareness on how to raise children."

"But the more details I'll reveal will teach people how to do it. It's no one's business what happened."

"Yet you tell that _boyfriend_ of yours. Then again he was involved."

"He knew nothing about it." _How does Laufey know about Tony? I didn't reveal it to him._

That laugh again cuts through him. "Are you really that naïve? Do you really believe that he wasn't involved? That he didn't know anything about it? Was it being brought up in the room that made you so oblivious? So easy to please? I wouldn't have thought that you would be so trusting. You're certainly making your family earn it."

"Everyone has to earn it. I know he wasn't involved. You don't know him like I do. In fact he knows me better than you do."

"Yes because he was studying you and read his father's reports. Come now, Loki, do you really think that he is interested in you? With a reputation like his why would he settle for someone as broken as you?"

"Because he's just as broken as I am." Loki spits, not wanting to hear how he's not wanted. How dare he?

"Sounds like a very healthy relationship. It won't be long until you're sick of each other. Two broken people don't belong together; you'll _destroy_ each other." He sneers. It's a shame that he'll be back in Norway before that happen; he would enjoy watching Loki lose someone he loves. Then he'd know how it felt for him that day, maybe he could understand why Laufey could never love him for subjecting him to that.

"You don't know anything about us so stop commenting. I don't even want to do this right now. I'm sure you've been told that the trial is coming up… Dr Banner has said that it would be a good idea for me to just focus on that." His voice falters as he asserts himself and Laufey's control slip further.

"Has he? And what is it _you_ want to do?"

"I trust Bruce and want to focus on the trial and only the trial."

"But before the trial would be the perfect time to do it, like a before and after. People get to see how you're coping leading up to the trial and how you are after confronting Stark and hearing the truth. I will not let you pass this opportunity up."

"I don't want to do this. At all. It went wrong before and it'll go wrong again. I'm sick of being on display for people's entertainment. I'm not going to let it happen anymore!" Loki's starting to get distressed just wanting the subject dropped. At least if it was Odin there would be someone there to back him up if he wanted to refuse but here he was alone. Regret festers within him and he finds himself wishing he took Thor's offer of letting him come with him.

"It's completely different. You need to man up. You're in the real world now, Loki."

"I know I'm in the real world. If you hadn't have left me in the first place I would have been in the real world all along. I will _not_ do this. This is me standing up for myself. I'm not going to give in to your demands! You're lucky I chose to indulge this one!"

"_I'm_ lucky _you_ chose to indulge _me_? Boy I think you'll find that _you're_ the lucky one. I didn't have to come back, I could have just let you believe that you are an Odinson and allow Odin to have complete control over you. But I didn't, I decided to reveal the truth to you."

"Well I wish you hadn't!" His life would have been that little easier if he just kept believing that he was really part of a family. It would have been easier if he didn't have an additional person trying to take control of his life.

The last thread of composure snaps and Laufey's facial expression is murderous. "Well I wish you hadn't left the room! I wish you hadn't killed my wife! I WISH YOU HADN'T BEEN BORN AT ALL!" He lurches up from the sofa and grasps Loki, pulling him up by his shirt. Loki can't stop the gasp escaping him at the sudden action. Fear surges through him when he feels Laufey's breath clinging to his face; he's so close he can see how the colours intertwine and form the unusual crimson colour that has threatened so many people. He tries to lean back to gain some space between them but the more he leans back the closer Laufey brings him. "Do you know how _tough_ life has been? Do you know what it's like to have everything you love taken away from you?!"

Every part of Loki's body wants him to back down; hopefully if he submits then he would be allowed to leave. But not all of Loki obeys this. "No, because of you I was never given the chance to love but now I have and nothing is going to take that away from me."

"I'm not trying to take your love away from you. I want to take much more than that." The low growl forces its way out of his throat. Laufey throws Loki back; Loki stumbles from the force and stops himself from falling completely. He just manages to regain his balance when it's thrown off again by a large bony fist hitting his face. In the room he fell over at times or hurt himself during a fit of frustration, but he's still never felt pain like this before. The anger from Laufey was undeniable but he wasn't expecting that violence, the shock and the trickle of the blood has him frozen on the floor. His thoughts are as disorientated as his sight and he doesn't know what to do; he wants to fight back but he can't get back up.

"If I had my way, I would bleed every single cent I can get from you. But seeing as you're not playing ball… I'm just going to have to persuade you. And if I become a little too persuasive… Well, then maybe you'd die and it'll be a win for everyone concerned." Loki barely registers what's being said when his father's foot flies into his stomach, making him groan and attempt to curl up in order to protect himself. The act is worthless, the kicks continue at the same force all around his body. Suddenly it all stops, nothing can be heard but his pants and quiet sobs. Laufey crouches beside his head; he grips his hair and pulls it back, sharply, in order to make Loki look at him. "So, have you changed your mind?"

The beaten boy opens his mouth to gasp rather than to say anything. Although he doesn't give him an answer this still seems to please Laufey. "I'll tell you what; because I'm feeling generous today I'll give you a couple of days to think about your answer. Give you time to heal in case you need persuading again." His voice is unsettlingly quiet and his grin seems genuine; the amount of pleasure he got from beating his son is clear. "Don't be fooled. I _will_ get what I want from you. One way or another."

Loki feels the tight grip around his jaw fall and his eyes follow Laufey as he gets up. He temporarily disappears only to reappear with his coat and scarf. "If you're not gone by the time I get back… Well… I'm sure you can use your imagination. I'll see you soon, _son_." Once the door has been slammed shut Loki allows himself to cry; he starts to lose track of time and panics when he realises he needs to get out as fast as he can. Wincing and he tries to push himself off the floor, he uses whatever he can around him in order to stand back up. Catching his breath and composing himself he walks out of the building. As much as he wants to call Thor he knows he can't; he doesn't want to be lectured about how he should never have gone. He can deal with this on his own; he doesn't need Thor fighting his battles. What he wants more than anything is to talk to Bruce; he needs Bruce now more than ever but he knows if he calls him he won't pick up… Or even if he does he won't be able to come and get him or to come and see him. Walking slowly home, his hand rests inside his pocket with his phone in debating whether it would be worth it to call him.

No, it's best to wait. He'll call him in the evening when he knows that he'll be free; he doesn't want to bother him now. Eventually he manages to find his way home, whenever he goes anywhere with Thor he always observes the outside in case he needs to run off home again. He learnt to do this after he had to run from the interview. As he was supposed to come home with Thor he doesn't have any house keys. He has to build up courage in order to knock on the door; he knows the kind of reaction he's going to get when they see him. If he wants, he could stay with Tony until the bruising has gone down; although he'll just get an interrogation from him as well. Reaching towards the door, it's flung open in front of him and Thor flinches not expecting to see his brother standing there. He was just on his way out to see him, they were getting worried about him and he wanted to go and make sure he was safe. Getting over the shock of seeing him there he takes more notice of the sight in front of him. Loki's lip is split and there is a cut above his eyebrow; his face is bruised and he's hunched over, arms wrapped around himself as though he's trying to stop himself from falling apart.

"Loki… What happened? Are you alright? MOTHER!" Thor gently pulls Loki inside and helps him into the living room.

"What's wrong Th- Oh darling." Frigga can't help but gasp when she sees Loki. There have been times when she has seen Thor in a beaten state; there have been a couple of incidents when he ended up physically defending his friends and being involved in contact sports he was always going to come home looking beaten. She never expected for this to happen to Loki, he had been hurt enough and everyone knows this so why would anyone want to hurt him further? Sending Thor to go and get some items to clean Loki up with she kneels in front of the sofa Loki is sitting on and holds his hands. There aren't any marks on his hands suggesting that this was all completely one sided which bothers her further.

"Loki what's happened to you?"

His mind is racing trying to come up with an appropriate lie to tell them. Thinking back to all the books he's read and films he's seen he searches for something that he could get away with. Thor comes back into the room with the items he was asked to get and Frigga starts carefully cleaning the cuts. Loki hisses as she does so but she doesn't stop, her movements are only slightly lighter.

"There was a man… He wanted money… I didn't have any… He didn't believe me…" Loki mumbles, staring down.

"A man? Where? What did he look like? Why were you walking home? I told you to call me once you were done with Laufey!" They all know that Thor isn't angry at Loki, he's just worried and scared that something like this has happened to him. Where Loki is involved they have a long list of things to be worried about and something like this never crossed their minds.

"Thor, sweetheart, calm down. He's scared and in shock, just give him a while to calm himself. Call your father and Dr Banner."

"No." Loki protests quickly, although it doesn't' stop Thor from walking out the room and making his calls. "Bruce is busy, we can't disturb him. Busy… With another patient."

"Loki he's going to want to hear about this and he's going to want to be here to help you." Frigga reassures. She slowly lifts his shirt and her face drops even more; his stomach is severely discoloured. Everyone knows muggings and theft can be brutal depending on the person's temperament but something doesn't seem right. "Don't ever be afraid to ask for help, okay? And don't be afraid to tell us things, we want to help you and you can't go through his on your own."

**x-x-x**

When Odin arrives and sees Loki he doesn't look as shocked as what he was expecting; then again Thor did call him in advance and tell him what had happened. What does surprise Loki is how Odin supports him when he says that he doesn't want to get the police involved. This angers Thor, he doesn't want this man to just get away with hurting his baby brother. But Odin feels it's more important to let Loki deal with this the way he wants to deal with it. Not wanting to listen to the arguing anymore he rises from the sofa. Everything goes silent and they all look at him, waiting for some kind of explanation.

"I'm… I'm going to go and lie down." He doesn't wait for a reply and goes to his room, ignoring the pain from walking up the stairs.

They wait until they hear his door close before they start talking again. "I just don't think he's telling us the truth. If he was robbed then they would have taken his phone and they haven't." Thor sighs, sitting down.

"I agree." Just two simple words and they're enough to make Thor sit up and listen.

"You do?"

"Yes, you're right. If they were trying to take his money off him and found none, they would have taken his phone as the next best thing."

"I think it was Laufey. Why else wouldn't he tell us?"

"Thor, you can't just go accusing him because you don't trust him-" Odin starts to say before being interrupted by his son.

"You know him better than any of us. Can you honestly say that he has never been violent before? Can you say that he doesn't have it in him to do something like this? Father, you know as well as I do that it's a perfectly reasonable explanation. It would also explain why he wouldn't want to get the police involved." Thor tries to keep his voice from rising so Loki can't hear what they're saying.

"Thor, do not pursue this. Let me handle it. I'll talk to Laufey and see what he says."

"He's not going to admit to it though is he?"

"Like you said, I know him better than any of you. I know when he's lying and I know how to make him talk." Without saying another word, Odin leaves the room and goes to his office.

Even though he wants to trust his father, Thor can't bring himself to do it. He's told too many lies and kept too many things from them all to listen to what he has to say now. Something like this isn't something he can do on his own; he'd ask his friends but none of them care enough about Loki to want to do it. If anything they'd talk Thor _out_ of doing it. He scrolls through his phone until he finds the perfect candidate.

_**Stark, something is wrong with Loki and I need your help. – Thor**_

_**Why should I help you? If Loki doesn't want to tell you or doesn't want your help then just leave him alone like he wants. You'd get further with him if you do. – Tony**_

_**He's been beaten up. I think Laufey has done it. – Thor**_

The reply isn't as instant as the others but when it comes Thor feels relief flood through him.

_**That fucker. What do you need me to do? – Tony**_

**x-x-x**

Loki's dozing, he's in and out of consciousness, the beating and the painkillers he's been given have just completely worn him out. And he hates it. Every time he closes his eyes he's back in the apartment with Laufey; nothing's changed, he's on the floor and the kicks come relentlessly. He's crying out for him to stop but it doesn't happen. The only time the kicks stop are when he's feet are doing other things, like slowly pressing on his neck cutting off his air. He frantically gasps trying to intake as much breath as he can and fails each time. His arms come up trying to push him away but he's not strong enough. He can hear his voice being called, taunting him as he falls into the darkness.

Bruce is there holding him when he wakes up, crying and gasping the way he was in the dream. "It's okay, it was just a dream. It's okay." He keeps repeating, stroking his back trying to soothe him. Gradually the boy's breathing settles and the sobs stop but he stays clinging to the doctor in his green coat. Even after he's back to normal Bruce makes no effort to move or to even ask what happened, they just sit there quietly.

"Thank you… But what about your other patient…?" Loki whispers into him.

"Loki I'll always be here to help you, you know that."

The boy softly sniffs and nods, still not moving from his position. "How long have you been here?"

"About half an hour. Your parents spoke to me before I came up here. They're really worried about you." They all told him what had happened, what Loki said happened and Thor's theory on what happened. All they want to know is which one is true; if it was Laufey then it's something they can stop from happening again but if it was a random on the street then there's not much they can do about it – especially if Loki doesn't want to go to the police.

"I'm fine."

"Are you? I wouldn't be. I've been in fights before and I felt awful for days. People have taken money and stuff from me too. It's okay to feel vulnerable; I'd be more worried if you didn't." Bruce isn't sure what story he believes; both of them seem entirely plausible to him but what Thor said about Loki's phone not being taken does seem odd. Although, there are some people that do just enjoy violence without a cause, some people become desperate enough and he has had to deal with both them and the victims. "And the fact you're having nightmares also suggests to me that you're far from fine."

"I couldn't get away. I wanted to get away but I couldn't… I couldn't move… I couldn't fight back… I couldn't even shout… I'm so weak and I hate it." Loki starts to become distressed again and Bruce detects some anger in the final words. "I didn't think he hated me that much." He grimaces, hating himself for letting his guard down. Bruce always has that effect on him, without any effort he can have him spilling his secrets without him even realising it.

"Who, Loki?"

"No one." He shifts away from Bruce's hold and tentatively lays on his side so he doesn't have to face him.

"You know that when you don't want to tell me something that I won't push. I understand that you tell me things when you're ready. But, Loki, I really want to help you and this is important, it's not something you should have to hide…" The doctor sighs; all he wants to do is help, but there is always so much that he can do when the patient is unwilling. "Are you mad at me?" It's not that Loki doesn't hear the question, he just doesn't know how to answer it. He's never really been comfortable with lying to Bruce and now he knows how to tell when he is anyway. But it's not exactly his fault that he's a bit mad with him, it's just Loki being selfish. "I'll take that as a yes then… Is it because I had to cancel?"

"It's not your fault."

"I know, but I should have been more considerate. If I hadn't have cancelled then maybe this wouldn't have happened." This gets Loki's attention, as he starts to move round again to see the man's face.

"This isn't your fault… It's mine. I should never have gone to see him…"

"But if I was able to make our scheduled appointment then you wouldn't have gone to see him."

"No, no, Bruce he would have done it regardless of if I went to see him today or any other day. He snapped." He can't have Bruce blaming himself for this, Bruce has to be strong for both of them, it's not his fault that he went to see him. He could have said no. He _should have said no_.

"So it was Laufey that did this to you?"

Loki opens his mouth to reply, confused as to what's just happened. Dr Banner has managed to manipulate him and get the answer out of him in such an easy way. He closes his mouth and nods; he can't exactly deny it now. Bruce looks furious but he's desperately trying to keep control to stop himself from scaring Loki or doing something stupid.

"Right… You need to tell your family. You can't let him get away with this."

"No! No… Not yet… Please, Bruce, don't say anything to them. I can't cope with that on top of everything else that's going on…" Loki hasn't had a chance to build himself up since it came out about his adoption and everything's just got on top of him.

"Loki-"

"Please, Dr Banner, please. I'm not going to see him again and I doubt Thor will allow me to leave the house regardless of where I want to go anyway. It'll be fine. I can deal with this." He reassures the man even though he doesn't believe it himself.

Nothing about this idea sits well with the doctor but there's not much that he can do. If he told his parents then he would lose the trust of his patient and that's more important to him. The boy's logic is sound, Laufey wouldn't be able to touch him if Thor's around and he doubts Thor will wait to find out whether his suspicions are correct before he threatens Laufey. Instead of fighting Loki he needs to be there for Loki and supportive when he needs him to be. He's right, the trial is coming up and he's stressed enough about that as it is, even with the extra sessions that Bruce is supplying.

"But you will tell them eventually?"

"Yes, just not yet."

"Would you like me to stay a little longer?"

"If you don't mind. But I think I'm going to go back to sleep." Loki lays down properly, this time facing Bruce. The doctor watches Loki, stroking his hair softly waiting for him to fall asleep. He can't believe that his father, of all people, was the one to do this to him. If he hated him that much then why bother getting involved in his life at all? Why couldn't he have just left him alone? He just hopes that Loki is right, that Laufey will give him his space for a little bit and that Thor will protect him. Bruce watches Loki as he sleeps, it's the most peaceful he's seen him; he just wishes he was that trouble free when he was awake to appreciate it. Maybe with Bruce's help one day that will actually happen.


End file.
